CCH 618-619

Stepping through the Gate of Truth, Sol was not sure what to expect when he reached the other side. Everything from here on would be a new experience for him that went beyond his calculations.

The fact that a source of unknown power had taken root in his heart for the whole of his existence had been a great bother to him from the moment he was aware of its existence.

It was definitely dangerous to have an unknown power slithering inside of him and he had no choice but to seek out such a power. Even though there was a high chance it would swallow him whole, leaving nothing left, Sol continued to march on without any hesitation.

I should find something soon, right?

One step— just one step was all it took for him to find himself transported to a whole new world, completely different from any place he had traversed before.

What did the other side of his Gate of Truth hold? What kind of things could he see? What trials would await him?

The answer was now clear to him.

Nothing.

He could see nothing.

As a hybrid dragon, being able to see even in the deepest darkness should have been a given for him. But not here, not in this abyssal place. Even the strings of Fate that usually occupied his vision were nowhere to be seen.

Did Adam stay in this place all this time?

Sol shuddered at the mere thought of living in such a place, and when he looked back, darkness was all that greeted him. The door to lead him outside didn't exist any longer, perpetual darkness replacing its existence.

The situation was clear to him now. Either he found a way to escape from this abyssal place or he would be forever imprisoned in this place with nothing but darkness as his partner.

“….”

Sol opened his mouth, cursing under his breath for finding himself in such a fucked up place. However, he soon stopped, realizing that no sounds came out no matter how much his lips moved. This… did not make sense, he was currently inside his sea or consciousness… his words and thoughts should virtually have no difference.

He could say nothing.

He moved around, trying to find at least some sense of direction but soon, doubt began creeping upon his mind. No sound reached him. Not the sound of his heartbeat, not even the sound of his steps.

He could hear nothing.

Ah….

Sol blinked or at least he thought he did, he tried to pinch himself but he realized that he felt no pain.

He could sense nothing.

By now, Sol realized that he was truly in deep shit. As a last resort, he even began sniffing, and as he feared…

He could smell nothing.

He did not know when, he did not know how, but slowly, all of his senses had been deprived of him, leaving him with nothing but his own sense of self.

Is this the End?

Absolute perpetual nothingness. A sad and lonely world— the destination of all things with their embers of existence extinguished. Every single thing in existence must meet its end, and they would eventually end up in this place.

Slowly, even his sense of self started to get eroded, the feeling that his consciousness was drifting somewhere far, far away was soon encroaching upon his existence.

… Huh?

He tried to reach out his arm, trying to grasp at something, anything… but he started to forget how to do that as well.

Focus!

It wasn’t just his arms. Since he was still able to think for himself, he realized he was sure that his head was still attached to his body, and so would be the rest of his limbs. However, even though he knew they were there, he couldn't recall how to move them at all. He surmised that his body should be in one piece but even that thought began to drift and become doubtful to him.

… I still cannot feel anything.

If he could describe his situation in a nutshell, then it would be that his mind was wandering on its own, disconnected from his entire body. He could not see, hear, or feel his magic and for the first time, Sol started to realize just how important the five senses were when it came to keeping a person's sanity in check.

I have to get it together.

He finally understood why Adam had given him that warning, that nothing but hell awaited him if he were to cross the Gate. He could not feel anything, and his fears started to creep in, attacking his weakened mind. This was worse than any hell one could ever imagine themselves experiencing. A hell of nothing but one's sense of self existing and that too dwindling with each passing moment was too horrifying.

… I am still alive, right?

As his perception of time started to distort, doubt began creeping in, and even though he continuously pushed away those thoughts and tried to focus… the fears were relentless, never stopping their onslaught on his mind.

Walk.

He thought to himself, he did not know if he was walking or he was staying put, but he still continued to focus on this single action…

Walking.

The direction did not matter, nor did the distance. All he needed was a singular point to keep his sense of self intact otherwise, he could feel that his mind would start to drift without any sense of purpose until it got extinguished by this endless void of nothingness.

I am Sol Dragona Luxuria

Sol repeated this firmly.

He was Sol.

He was the prince of Lustburg.

He always won, no matter what.

He would succeed in this Trial too.

The girls must be fighting now.

It would be quite lame, right… if he was to be defeated in his own mind while all his loved ones gave their all with all of their hopes and beliefs pinned on him.

Even if it was only for this vain purpose, he needed to win. To survive and to come out stronger than ever, just so he could be there for his loved ones.

But… Could he even do that?

Sol smiled bitterly in his mind. He was biting on far more than what he could chew at this moment. Had he been alone, defeat would have been all but certain, for no mortal mind could face the solitude of endless darkness and still even hope to stay sane.

Thankfully, even if he could not see the Thread of Fate in this forsaken place, and even while fear and doubt assailed his mind, he continued to walk as he was never alone. And he would never be alone, he promised himself that.

———

In the Mortal Realm, the transcendental fight between Camelia and Eins raged on, and the Supreme Daughter of Lustburg slowly felt herself reaching her limits.

Eins was surprisingly not that powerful all things considered. She did not know if it was because he was holding back or if he was really only this strong in the first place, but she knew that as long as she got a clean hit, she could win.

Therein lay the first problem. Being able to hit the slippery bastard.

“What is the matter? You cannot find me? I am to your right, you know?”

His mocking voice reached her, making her grit her teeth. She did not know whether or not he was telling the truth and that worried her. Eins had shown a power that completely isolated all her means. He seemed to be capable of manipulating her perception of reality, thus messing with all of her senses, be it mortal or divine.

Because of this, right and left, up and down, forward and backward, were all scrambled up, making it difficult for her to even sense him properly, hitting him was a faraway thought.

The one saving grace was that she was too powerful for him to hurt as well, but therein lay the second problem.

He was a true Demigod while her power was only borrowed and said borrowed power was also reaching its limit.

[You should stop the descent and flee, you still have a chance to survive if you get away from him…]

The worried voice of Castitas reached her but she ignored it.

“It’s not time yet. I have to hold on.”

She knew that even now, Sol was working hard. So all she had to do was make sure all of his plans came to fruition.

Even if… she had to risk her life for it.

***

One plus one is two…

Ten times ten equals one hundred…

Four plus four equals eight…

The theorem of Pythagoras is…

Wait, what was I even doing just now?

… Oh, yes! Math! I was reviewing the basic arithmetic functions that I learned in my childhood.

Ha… haha….

For no particular reason whatsoever, Sol felt a genuine surge of happiness for the first time in a while, prompting him to laugh inwardly from the bottom of his heart.

It was an innocent laugh, like a child’s laughter full of purity. And that told him… he was reaching his limits soon. It had been long, so much he had even forgotten how much time he spent inside this endless void of nothingness.

After he stopped counting the time at 100 days, he started experiencing an internal meltdown, his sanity already on its limits.

Had it been five months? Six? Or perhaps years? Decades? Centuries? Millennia?

There was no way to measure time inside this place bereft of basically everything. He could only guess while employing some ridiculous methods. He was sure that it was more than probable for only an instant to pass in the outside world, however, that wasn’t enough to calm him down or bring any comfort. Such was the solitude brought about by the End.

Perhaps he was already dead and was floating aimlessly in some part of the Afterlife. The very fact that he could even think coherently at the moment was nothing more than a miracle and the result of his inhumane mental fortitude and inherent nature.

Sol couldn’t help but laugh inwardly at the thought. Strange, he was sure that he was laughing wholeheartedly right now, but he could oddly feel that there were tears in his eyes. Of course, he couldn’t actually cry, but he imagined himself sobbing right now. Only by constantly bringing such thoughts of emotions into his mind could he keep himself sane for so long.

How did things get so bad?

He simply entered the Gate because he wanted to find the strength that would allow him to save everyone. To find the key to his future. Had he been too selfish and confident in himself?

Was I not strong enough to handle this challenge?

Had he truly been mistaken? If he was somehow able to escape from this abyssal hellhole… should he just run away, leaving everything behind? Should he perhaps gun for a weaker name instead?

Do I even have to do this?

As a Blessed and Dimensional Mage, his path to power was more than just assured. Once he attained the King realm, the path toward attaining the Demigod realm would be nothing but a breeze as he would face none of the restrictions that marred the path of others aiming for that realm.

With his Divine Weapon and Zone, even False Gods had no means of beating him. Even if he technically couldn’t win against them, he could make sure that they would never win against him either.

Murmurs echoed in his mind, tempting him, slowly bringing him toward a desire for acceptance. To settle for less, to give up.

This was the safe path. The logical path, one with no risks nor danger, and yet…

I don’t want that.

Sol tried to chase away the darkness encroaching upon his mind once again and shut down the murmurs creeping in, however, they proved to be more than a bit persistent this time around. Even if he could go back to the past, he was sure that would still take the same path. That was his decision and yet…

I am so tired.

More than anything, more than even his fading sense of self, what gnawed at his mind the most was none other than his loneliness.

In this life, the longest time he had gone without someone at his side could be counted in hours or days at most, and even then… he was sure that he would be exaggerating the time to some extent. All his life, he had both people who loved him and people who hated him at an arm’s distance. No matter where he was, there was someone beside him.

But now? Now, there was no one.

His memory was starting to become faint with each passing moment. The faces of those he loved and cherished began to compress into a blur and their voices were nothing but a distant indistinguishable noise and unstable glimpses.

I don’t want this!

He roared in his mind, trying to gather those scattered memories that he cherished more than life itself.

There was nothing he couldn’t defeat. If he wanted to give up, he would kill himself before he could ever enact such a thought.

If I didn’t even have this resolve, I would have never come here.

Sol swore to himself that he would find a way out of this shitty. god-forsaken place. He had faced Death multiple times already, fought demigods when he was a mere Duke, defied and schemed against the goddesses themselves, and was planning to conquer the entire mortal realm and put it under his control.

There was no way he would falter now! Not when he was so close to achieving all of his goals.

Yet the trial he was facing could never be overcome by a mortal.

Then…

I simply have to become something beyond human.

Sol thought back to all the changes that had slowly been happening to him over the course of a few weeks back in the real world as he came closer and closer to the source. His mind changed, and his perception advanced further than ever before.

All this time, he had been fighting against that feeling, trying to stop himself from drifting too far away, fearing that he might lose himself and vanish forever. But now… he knew that he had no choice. If he did not change his thinking from a fundamental viewpoint, his consciousness would not be able to hold on and eventually scatter.

I feel like I’ve become a cicada.

Some species spent close to 20 years underground until they died. They had one chance in their 20 years to shed their skins, to break away from their confines and earn their sweet freedom… however short that freedom may be. They could become new creatures and fly through the skies. The cicadas who missed their chances died thinking that the ground was their whole world, never to be aware of the existence of the infinite horizons above.

I will never die in a shitty place like this.

Sol sharpened his will and stopped fighting the darkness. He had to accept it, embrace it, and become one with it.

Everything had its own End— the conclusion of their story.

Some were sad, some brought relief, while others brought grief and woe.

No matter what people tried, all would eventually reach their predetermined End, such was the inescapable Fate of everything in existence. A basic rule etched onto reality and imposed upon all existence. It was a rule that had been bestowed upon all existences at the very moment of their creation, and by that rule, even he would reach his own End, basking in the embrace of Finality.

But not now.

Every Beginning had its own End, and reaching the End brought about a new Beginning. It was a cycle that encompassed all, and Sol was left with no choice but to accept that he had no way to escape this cycle.

I see…

Realization started dawning on him and enlightenment burned in his heart.

From one’s perspective, this world and this entire universe would begin with our Life and end with our Death. As long as there was someone left to observe the world, the world can never reach the End.

They said to think is to exist. I think, therefore I am.

And so, what he must do from now on was set in stone. To reach the end of his story, he needed to cease all of his thoughts by doing so, he would finally erase his existence.

Truly the gamble of a lifetime.

All or nothing!

If he was wrong and if he failed, his existence would truly be extinguished for good and there would be no path left for him to return.

Slowly, Sol stopped trying to maintain his consciousness, and like a candle under a gust of wind, the flame started to flicker until it was completely snuffed out.

Thus ended the existence of one called Sol.