Chapter 67: IT CAN’T BE AN ISEKAI WITHOUT STAT SHEETS!!

Something. Something. Stealth team gathering info. Something.

Something. Allegra went to her lab. Something.

Something. Something. Gabrielle's team is with us now. Something. Something.

Something. My team is here too. Some—AAAARGH COME ON!! DO I HAVE TO SAY ALL THAT?!!

WE ARE AT A HAIR'S BREADTH OF ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISEKAI CHECKS!!!

THERE YOU HAVE YOUR CONTEXT!!

NOW, LET'S GET TO THE GOOD PART!!!

Eh? Do I really have to describe it? Really? It is just a cathedral with the typical pseudo-european-gothic architecture with a bit of fantasy seasoning...you know like the rest of the city.

If you have seen one, then you have seen them all.

It doesn't have anything special.

"Fufufu~~, I do not know if I should feel offended by that."

Ah! No! It does have something special! It praises my lovable girlfriend!

Even if there is not even one image of her true appearance...

Seriously. The 'bundle of light with eyes' interpretation of her is the most popular. So much so, that is even carved in the doors, the arc of the door, and so on.

I really feel sorry for the inhabitants of this world that will never know her true beauty, because she is that beautiful.

"Much better, dear~~."

Phew...

Now, can I get to just skip this and go straight to the stats?

No? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT?!!!

YOU WANT ME TO DESCRIBE THE OVER THE TOP WELCOMING WE ARE RECEIVING RIGHT NOW?!

FINE!!

"""""WELCOME LADY ARGENTO! MAY THE LOVE OF THE GODDESS BE UNTO YOU!""""""

HA! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

I mean...

THERE ARE TWO ROWS OF PALADINS, ONE ON EACH SIDE, HOLDING THEIR SWORDS UPWARD AS THEY SHOUTED THAT!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE, BUT I AM SURE THERE IS AT LEAST ONE OF YOU WHO HAS THIS FETISH, SO ENJOY!!

THERE IS EVEN A RED CARPET FOR DARLING'S SAKE!!

There you have it...we are getting the VIP treatment and letting even more people catch sight of us with all the attention this is drawing.

Good. Goooood.

I can already hear some of the people admiring my and the Maid-Knight's beauty.

I would love to linger here a bit more, but I shudder when I think what will Ludovica do if we make her wait any longer.

Let's just walk through it at an adequate, but fast pace.

"I hazard to guess that her Holiness is receiving us with this high regard to further reinforce our cover story, My Lord. Not only for the people of the capital, but for those in high positions that are looking from afar. With this it will be almost impossible to doubt you, for doing so would mean doubting her Holiness and in turn the Church, My Lord."

Walking a step behind me and to my right, there’s Erevain. She looks as composed as always, carrying herself in a dignifying manner while we walk towards the big wooden door at the end of this red carpet. She truly exudes not only the air of a leader but of a noble too.

And yes, if they see that I’m being treated this way by the Head of the Church, then many people will immediately accept that we have an important position. Some might get a bit curious, but they will not get anything else besides the information that we have deliberately leaked about us.

"That must be the case. But even if there was no such thing as that cover story, this is the appropriate way to receive my dear Master. If they knew our true identities or Master's, this welcoming would be grander in a way."

Gracefully walking a step behind me, but this time to my left, we have the gorgeously smiling Gabrielle. Of course, such a way of doing so fits her. She is also holding both of her hands near her stomach, just like some high-class women and maids do. And the air she exudes is enough for anyone to have a lasting impression of her.

"I agree in the aspect that this situation is most convenient for us as it shall give us more public exposure. Something that will truly help us in tomorrow’s ball, given that Master is a mostly unknown person. But I disagree about the rest, Gabrielle. That would only cause Master to waste time being drowned in protocol."

Says Erica, who is covering my back. She is also walking in a dignified way, but the way she carries herself drives home the image of a loyal and capable maid. Even more so than Gabrielle or Erevain.

Which is obvious considering that that was kind of her job even before joining me. Well, a butler, but yeah.

She is also right, there is no way that arriving to the capital and declaring myself as one sent by the Goddess wouldn't bring me annoying things as consequence. Like political posturing and so on.

I prefer it this way. We can act without having the eyes of everyone on us, in that kind of way at least.

Moving on, Mika and Lucy are in the back of the formation, and they are…well, just look.

"Hello~~! Good day to you too!"

"Lucy, stop doing that! There is no need!"

"Eh, but why? Helloooo~~!!"

"Lucy!"

Yep, they´re doing their thing. Lucy is waving her hand to some of the children looking at us and Mika is trying to scold her while not looking her way, but to no avail.

And a slightly annoyed Bertia is in the middle of them.

"Master, why do I have to be between these two...?"

So she asks lamenting herself.

Sorry Bertia, I thought you could act as a barrier to stop their adorable antics, but I can see that wasn't the case.

Anyways, I would describe how beautiful is the entrance to the cathedral, or how even the floor has beautiful designs on it, but I really, really, just want to go to the place where I can see the stats of everyone!

"Patience is a virtue, dear~~~."

Says the Goddess who got furious after her favorite character didn't show up after one hundred ten rolls in the gacha.

"You...! That was not my fault!! It is the gacha's fault for not giving me my Batty-chan!!"

Heh.

Oh, we are finally about to enter the proper cathedral.

I nod in gratitude to the paladin who opened the door for us, and I enter first, with the Maid-Knights following behind me.

The interior of this place looks as you would expect, except for the part where the religious idol and the person giving the service usually is, the podium so to speak.

It is not elevated.

As in there are no steps to separate the religious idol and the priest from the crowd.

They are all at the same level.

Also, the religious idol is coming from the very floor instead of being above it with a base, giving the impression that it is growing from the ground. Or, if we are to get a bit symbolistic about it, that it is a part of the world.

"Of course, dear. Only an egocentric god would require a couple of steps to reinforce their superiority complex or ones who have low self-esteem. My people know that I am their Goddess, they know that our positions are different, but I have no need to further stablish myself as above them. To separate myself from them in that manner is something I will never seek. After all, I love them."

I know. I can see it in the murals. Things you actually did. Like your fight against the evil god. The purification of an ancient plague. The bestowal of the blessing that let the Demon Lord teleport the people of the nations that were falling against the Dragon Lords and so on.

I am glad there are no great floods or locusts' swarms...

"Fufufu~~of course not. Those type of punishments are so old and ineffective. Many Gods even shared their experiences using those and came to that conclusion. It was also shown to have the opposite effect."

Oof…I have a feeling that Yawue was there...man, that must have been awkward...

"He was actually the acting head of that investigation; he truly regrets his actions and used that regret to teach other Gods in what not to do. I find it commendable if you ask me, dear."

That does sound like a good way to redeem himself. Good job, Yawue!

Oh, there’s a mural of you teaching the races magic and such on the other wall.

"Fufufu~~, that was such an interesting time. The people's curiosity and imagination really took on a physical form back then."

Yes, I bet it was.

Oh, I can also see the tenets you told me and more.

Love anyone.

Love them seriously.

Love them passionately.

Love them loyally.

Love them through forgiveness.

Love them through redemption.

Love them.

"Yes, dear. Love will always be what moves this Church."

Good.

I truly despise those isekai Churches that only serve as deaf one-off villains. Even worse, the old fat ugly popes who run them.

Oh man, if they were here, I would've made it my first priority to pretty much destroy them and block any kind of future volume with them as villains...

Ugh...just remembering the things they do, like the cliché heroine kidnapping, make me want to roll my eyes so hard.

"Oh my, my, then I must feel relieved that my church is nothing like that. All thanks to the efforts of Ludovica and the ones who came before her. Of course, I did have a hand on it, but they deserve most of the credit. They really wanted to help me achieve this and that is something I will always be grateful for."

I am glad you say that darling but... it also makes me feel a bit guilty.

"Why, dear?"

Well, I am your girlfriend...and they do not know so...

"Oh, you dummy. There is no need to feel guilty about that, dear. Everyone has personal things that you do not need to discuss with everyone. Even a Goddess has those, you know? And as Yawue said, the perception of our relationship from the point of view of the Gods is that it is normal. Not that I would care about their opinions though, fufufu~~."

Yes...I suppose it’s just me getting a bit starstruck by all the things in the cathedral.

But hey, you could say I’m dating the besto idol of this world!

That is cool, right?

"Fufufu~~indeed, dear. Oh, I do know how to sing, so maybe I will give you some service as your reward for this stage clear~~~."

OH!

YES!!

Also, we are now in front of Ludovica, who is wearing her official clothes, which make her actually look the part. But there is no big hat or something like that, it is more about the incredibly intricate design that her robe has and the holy aura it gives off. It is mainly red with white and gold in some parts.

It feels similar, yet weaker, to my holy lance. So, I guess it must be made from blessed cloth in its entirety.

She is currently using her 'work face', so she is making a solemn expression.

"l bid you welcome to this humble cathedral, house of our beloved Goddess Nerinne, Lady Auros Argento."

Let's just maintain the expression I have right now and follow the non-existent script. For that, I will bow respectfully and speak with a formal tone without a single bit of familiarity on it. You could even say that I will sound cold too.

Well, it is all to show that I am aware of her position.

"Thank you, your…Holiness."

"Guh..."

Hm?

Did Ludovica just twitched when I addressed her in that way? Was she expecting me to call her 'Ludovica' in this official-type event?

This gal...let’s…let’s just continue…

"*ahem* Thank you for this reception. I am humbled that your Holiness deemed a person such as myself worthy of something as important as your time.”

Now she is trembling...wait…! Don't tell me!

She is trying to hold back from jumping at me in the way she does?!

“…!”

Crap, I instinctively put my right arm over my tightly enclosed chest! Let's just make it look like a respectful salute!

There is a bit of an audience here, so I must quickly correct any mistake I make.

Said audience is some priests, the usual paladins, and a group of civilians that was permitted entry. One that obviously has spies from New Glory mixed in, heh.

"Oh, there is no need to say that. After all, it is proper for me to receive my guests in this manner, even if it is a simple formality."

She says so while clearly trying to hold back her usual gal-like smile. But the smugness in her eyes give me an idea of what is going inside her head. I bet she is thinking something like 'Nee~~, nee~~, this what I can do, are you impressed~~? Praise me~~~’. Yeah, something like that.

I, on the other hand, respond to those eyes with a cold gaze and smile.

"Even then, I am thankful for such formality and for your Holiness agreeing to take us to such important ball. I truly look forward to meeting the person in charge of the magnificent place that is the Kyrie Kingdom."

That is true. I mean, we would've attended even without invitation, but it is nice to have one. That way we can meet that foolish king and his lackeys without needing to go the stealth way.

"Yes, that is our subject for today. As my guests, the King of this nation has refrained from asking for your presence before him, but it is expected of me to introduce you to him and the rest of the important figures of this nation. After all, they have proven to be great allies in our endeavors and the fight against the common enemy that are the Dragon Lords. And they will most likely be great allies for your nation too."

Man, this seriously is just a show for the spies, but she is truly selling it. Well, except at the beginning with her twitching.

She doesn't look like it, and she sure didn't give me that impression, but she is indeed quite smart to do this.

"That is what my nation seeks, as we are finally able to give our support to the Draconic Front and all the nations who have allied themselves to fight in it. We shall not be bound by the isolationist views of our past anymore. Views that forced us to only care about our borders and not about our brothers...something that I most regret. Thus, we shall shed blood together in the same battlefield and show the Dragons Lords the meaning of fear."

How about that?

"Fufufu~~, it sounded fine, dear. The spies are even taking notes."

Heh, I'm glad it sounded believable.

I used a bit from a novel I read with some ad-lib here and there.

"Perfect, Lady Auros. Please, let us move to my private chapel so that we can commemorate this event in communion with the Goddess."

She moves her hand as she says that, showing us the way to a hall at her left.

"As you wish, your Holiness."

Sorry spies, the show is over for you and you know it.

Oh, but do try to infiltrate the private chapel of the Head of the Church.

I won't reject scaring some of you since it is fun.

_______________________________________________

We walk a little a bit and as I thought, the spies have given up on following us due to the sheer number of paladins guarding the area.

Well, I also gave them a little scare with a healthy dose of pinpointed intimidating pressure just a bit ago.

Still, if Sophie had been here, she might have used her roulette, but...

"No vomit in my cathedral, dear. Or I will get mad."

...that.

In any case, we have arrived at a place that can pass as another simple room from the outside. But that ceases to be the case as the doors open before us and an altar is the first thing that greets us. Not only that, but it has a strange looking crystal ball on top of it.

Also, the place doesn't have any windows, so it is lit by magical torches that turn on as we enter.

Besides that, it really does look like a small chapel.

And as one would expect of a place like that, there’s a carving of Nerinne’s ‘bundle of light with eyes’ on the wall behind the altar.

Now…giving a closer look to the transparent crystal ball, I feel like saying the following from the bottom of my heart:

Please tell me that crystal ball is the way to see the stats! Please tell me that crystal ball is the way to see the stats!!

"It is, dear."

YES!!

"Aaah~~.”

Meanwhile, the Holy Gal starts stretching as if she had done some great physical labor, but we all know she didn't.

“That sure was tiring...but tricking those spies and giving you a bit more of legitimacy will work wonders tomorrow. Riiiight~~, Auros?"

Aaaand the gal tone is back...great...

"Hmph. I shall admit that it was a good move, Ludovica. But that cannot be the only reason we are here. Right?"

I already know the answer to that question though.

"Heeeh~~, straight to the point I see. Yes, it as you say. I invited you here today because the Goddess asked me to show you something. She said that you would be quite excited, so I totes said yes!"

As she says that, she starts walking towards the altar with the crystal ball.

"Although, I wanted to play a bit with you before doing this, but..."

“*STARE*”

“*STARE*”

“*STARE*”

Her words stop abruptly as her gaze falls on Gabrielle, Mika, and Bertia, who are completely vigilant and look ready to move the moment Ludovica tries to jump on me.

Thank you, girls!!

"…it seems that some of your maids have mistaken our beautiful super friendship with something else. Such a misunderstanding...is totes bad~~~. So, I will give them a good impression of me today, yes~~, yes~~! Now, raise your hand if you know what this is."

She says so while pointing at the crystal ball and every single Maid-Knight immediately raises their hands, which causes Ludovica to giggle.

Hmm…this is surprising for me, I imagined that only Erevain, Erica and Mika would raise them, but it seems I was wrong.

"Heeeh~~, then please..."

Before continuing, she looks at each of the maids and then her gaze falls specifically on one, all while never losing that friendly smile of hers.

"...Miss Mika. Tell us what it is."

Hearing that, Mika takes a step forward, pushes her glasses in the classic way, and starts.

"That is a crystal of revelation, your Holiness. If infused with blessed power, it can reveal information about themselves to those who touch it. That information can be either already known or things that one ignored. It can also be used to see who is worthy of becoming certain classes, like a Knight or a Paladin. In that case, the result will appear as a light blue writing floating above the crystal."

"Correct~~~."

Says Ludovica with a cheerful tone.

Also, that's our class president-type Maid-Knight for you! Her strict, disciplined, and studious aura is not for nothing!

"The Goddess told me that something exciting for you will happen when you touch it, Auros. So, come on and touch it! I want to see it too! Yes~~~, yes~~~!"

FINALLY!!!

"Hmph, you do not have to say it twice.”

But I need to ask for permission first! So, I turn around and ask the following while facing them:

“My comrades, do I have your permission to look over your information?"

Yes, I mean, it is considered bad manners to do so without permission in most of the novels I have read. Even if the protagonist almost always keeps doing it despite that. That's funny because it’s not as if there isn't something similar in our world.

Wouldn't you get mad if someone looked inside your phone, your private documents, your e-mail and so on?

It's like that. So, asking for their permission before the fact is important, even if I am all excited about it.

I am a respectable adult after all!

What? Stop laughing every time I say that!! It's true!!

It’s funny because I overhear when people murmur to themselves? Well...yeah it is a bit hypocritical, but I'm only human...no...well, you get the figure of speech. Also, overhearing someone is sometimes unavoidable, op senses or not.

"Of course, My Lord. There is no need to ask."

Says Erevain with her princess-like smile. Ahh…

"My, it is as Leader says. I am an open book for you, my dear Master."

Says Gabrielle with an ojou-sama smile and tone. Ahh…times two…

The rest nod and give me permission in their own ways too.

"Thank you."

I say with full honesty before turning around once again, quickly walking towards the altar where the crystal ball is.

The crystal ball starts glowing softly the moment my hand starts getting closer to it and when I finally put my hand on it, the light grows more intense, covering it completely. All as the ball turns from completely transparent into a pure white one.

"I knew it! Auros is totes like me!! No one else could activate it without a chant except for me, but now...! I'm so happy!"

Yep, she does look quite happy about that, to the point that her eyes are a bit teary out of joy...and of course, she is already hugging me.

"..."

Oh well, I'll let it slide since she looks so happy and I'm getting what I wanted.

Now crystal show me the stats!!

*TSIN*

"This is...!"

All the ‘pact-tattoos’ that are hidden throughout my body have started to shine with a white glow too! And now the Maid-Knights' information is passing through my mind at an absurd speed! It’s like I am reading everything as I download it all at the same time!

I guess that someone of this world would get overwhelmed by something like this. But for me, a nerd that farmed in multiple accounts, worked on a thesis, and cared for Nana at the same time, this is nothing!!

"...!"

All this info!! Their skills, their spells, everything!!

THIS IS IT GUYS!! THIS IS THE ISEKAI CHECK THAT WAS MISSING!!!

I AM BARELY RESISTING THE DESIRE TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN IN THE TYPICAL ISEKAI FORMAT!!

Why? Because it is bad that is more efficiently served as information in your brain instead of a clunky video game interface separated in tabs. One that makes said information needlessly slower to access with either a touch interactive interface or by thought. How am I to show that this is an isekai if the status screen is invisible?!

Oh! Just thinking about it is making it appear that way in my mind!

NNNN...FUCK IT, LET'S DO IT!

I immediately summon some pen and paper from my personal space, and I start writing everything down.

The first one is Erevain!

·        Strength: B→S

·        Intelligence: A

·        Agility: C→A

·        Mana: B→SS

·        Endurance: A→SS

·        Constitution: B→SS

Passive skills:

·        Leadership: A

·        Royal Presence: A

·        Strategist: A

·        Knight’s Oath: A

·        Magic Resistance: C→SS* (SSS with a full moon)

·        True Beauty of the battlefield: S (NEW!)

·        Physical Resistance: A→SS

·        Combat Enchantment Enhancement MK: A→S*(SS with a full moon)

·        Rapid Healing: A (NEW!)

·        Moon Enhancement

·        Steadfast Guard: A (NEW!)

·        Combat Magic Enhancement MK: B→S* (SS with a full moon)

·        Mana Regeneration: S (NEW!)

·        Defense Magic Enhancement MK: A→SS* (SSS with a full moon)

·        Sword Technique: B

·        Shield Technique: A

·     Saintess’ Mana Control Technique: B

·        Abnormal Status Resistance: S

·       Dragon Lord Slayer: SS (NEW!)

·        Glaring Terror→Hidden Glaring Terror: S

·        ????

·        ????

Active skills:

·        Enhance Constitution: B→S

·        Shielded Moon Fusillade: A→SS

·        Enhance Strength: C→A

·        Crescent Moon Slash: B→S

·        Enhance Shield Skills: A→S

·        Shield Bash: B→S

·        Enhance Sword Skills: B→S

·        Shield Charge: A

·        Enhance Defense: B→S

·        Full Moon Slash: A→S

·        Enhance Elemental Resistance: C→S

·        Mystic Counter: A→S

·        Triple Effect: C→S

·        Mystic Fortress: A→SS

·        Shielder’s Will: A→SS

·        Juggernaut’s Will: C→A

·        Mystic Knight’s Trance: A→SS

·        ?????

Unique traits:

·        Unaging (Race).

·        Unbreakable Will.

·        Moonlight Attribute Magic.

·        Pact of the High Dragon Lord (Voluntary).

·        Blessing for the worthy: Knight.

·        Blessing for the worthy: Future Regent.

·        Blessing of Nerinne.

·        Blessing of the Moon Spirit.

·       ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇

·        Earth Attribute Magic.

·        Moonlight Atribute Magic.

·        Astral Magic.

Spells:

·        Magic Shield

·        Moonlight Blast

·        Moonlight Veil

·        ?????

·        Collapse Earth

·        ?????

·        Earth’s Bulwark

·        ?????

·        Astral Barrier

·        ?????

·        Astral Reflection

·        ?????

One blessed by the Moon, Crown Prince, Regent’s Firstborn, Child of the Saintess, Saintess’ Trainee, Survivor of the Saintess Training, Son of the White Glaring Terror, Black Glaring Terror, White Glaring Terror’s Trainee, White Glaring Terror’s Training Graduate, Steadfast Warrior, Juggernaut, Shielder, Mystic Steadfast Warrior, Unattainable Prince, Rival of the Red Scourge and the Pain Bringer, Knight, Mystic Knight, Knight Leader, Fallen Prince, Traitor Prince, Bandit Leader (Fake), Unknown Supporter, High Dragon Lord’s Right Hand Woman, Second Heroine (Goddess Decree), Head Maid, Head Maid Knight, Leader of the Maid Knights, Princess Maid, Knight of the Moon Spirit, Queen Lookalike, The one who stands against the Eternal  Winter, Fated Rival of a Dragon Lord, The one who did not bend against the absurd, Holder of EX-Guts, Beauty among beauties.

Moon Spirit, huh. So that is the administrator you talked about, darling. The one who saved Erevain.

"Indeed. The Spirits are my familiars, and they help me maintain the world. Each magical attribute has one, but other aspects of the world do too. In time, you will come to know them. Specially the Moon Spirit, she is a curious one.”

Oh? Now that sounds interesting…well, all of them do. Can’t wait to meet them.

“Fufufu~~, I knew you would say that dear.”

Heh, thank you for not letting me spoil myself back at the inn.

Still, that was tiring to write by hand...and I still have five more to go...

“Be careful what you wish for, dear~~. But I know that you can write down all those stats! How was it…? Ah! Ganbare~~!”

Yeah, yeah...let’s do this!

To be continued...(cue Auros rapidly writing down the other sheets while the others watch in curiosity)

Glossary Entry #23:

Ganbare: A Japanese word that can be translated to “Do your best!” “Go for it!”, it can also be used to wish someone good luck. Although, it will probably not get you that unit in the gacha that you want so much.

I already had images for the stat sheets, but then I realized they would end dark mode readers, so I decided to redo them here...ahahaha...sorry for the delay. Anyways...thank you for reading! I bet you can already guess whose stat sheet is next, right? It is no coicidence that her sketch is coming out tomorrow too! Please look forward to it!

Also, don't worry, the next stat sheets will come at the end of the chapter. But don't discard them so easily, you might miss out on some interesting bits and perhaps...even bonus super short stories within them.

In any case, if you are hungry for more, then head over to my patreon! There you will find the first bite of "Waifu Bites!" in which you'll get to read Nerinne's first meeting with Ilya and vote for the idea that will be adapted for the next bite! The one winning right now is "'I'll make maids out of you!' Erica's crash course!". Also, if you just want to support me and the story, you can also do so via Ko-Fi! Either way, it will help me keep writing Auros' shenanigans!

This chapter was brought to you by: EmbraceTheSleeb, Lord-Hollow, YukisoraRin, LordInquisitorSteele, Anon, Anon2, Tikku, Teresa and Ayth!

Please do not translate my work without my permission. Favor de no traducir mi trabajo sin mi expreso permiso.

See you all tomorrow!