Vol 2. Chapter 6: The Proof of Her Love (1)

“So… how do we do that?” I asked Nerinne, who was not only still hugging me from behind, but also tightened said embrace ever so slightly, my immediate willingness to perform what she calls ‘Soul Bonding’ being a surprise that really shouldn’t be. So, for good measure, I’ll make it even clearer. “How do we become one while being two?”

“…”

Nerinne doesn’t answer, and that’s fine. Take your time, darling. Take all the time you need. I’m here and I’m not leaving, just like I said before. I’m not leaving you. Never. Ever. Instead I’ll be hugging your arms, kissing your hands, and leaning my head on yours. Gently, of course, we don’t want any reverse headbutts here.

“Fufu…” she chuckles. Good. Think about the dumb things I say in this head of mine rather than the other things… the ones we both know were lies, for our love is real and no trial will change that. Nothing will.

She subtly nodded, before stifling a sob and, in the softest of voices, she said, “you have to turn around.”

“Alright.” I answered and immediately tried to do as she said but… “Umm… Darling… I can’t turn around if you keep hugging me this tightly.”

“I know…” she whimpered, yet she didn’t budge at all…

“Darling…”

“I know… it’s just that… it’s just that I don’t want to let go of you… even if I know that I won’t lose you… even if I swore to myself that I’d never let that happen… no matter what future may come… I won’t let go of you… now more than ever before…” Said my heroine between sobs she was unable to stifle… the pain… the fear in each word a scalding pang in my heart… yet, I couldn’t let that get in the way of us. I wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Then don’t, my heroine. Don’t let go of me. Just… hover your arms over me ever so slightly. No need to unlock them. That way you are still surrounding me with them.” I said gently, caringly. “Doesn’t that sound like a good compromise?”

“Mhm…” She subtly nods once again. “I-I think I can do that…”

“Great.”

And so, after a few moments of hesitation, she did it. She’s trembling… yet, she’s still doing it. Good, darling. Good. Just like that. You can do it. There! That’s it! Well done, darling. Now I’ll start turning around. Don’t worry, I’ll do it slowly. Sloooowly. Just a bit more. Aaaaand… there!

“I’m going to gently raise your head now, is that alright darling?” I asked gently after caressing Nerinne’s downcast head, which was now leaning on my chest instead of my back.

“What if I want to stay like this…?” She sniffled as she buried her head deeper… the shakes caused by her sobs not stopping. And so, I hugged her tightly before tilting my head towards hers and kissing it multiple times, wishing to comfort her, to console her.

“If that is what you want, then it’s alright.” I said after I gave her another kiss. “But you won’t be able to see my face like that. Don’t you want further confirmation that I’m here?”

“That makes… no sense…” You say that but…

“…it made you look up, didn’t it?” I said with a tender, warm smile for the teary woman now reflected in my eyes. Her eyes were swollen from crying… her cheeks were flushed, as well as her adorable nose… and her lips still trembled even as I softly wiped her tears. Perhaps a little grumble was coming?

“Dummy…”

“There it is, hehe.” I chuckled a bit. “Still, it worked. And now that we’re facing each other properly… you can see that I’m here, right? That you didn’t let me go, right?”

“Yes… Yes I can…” Said Nerinne as her trembling lips slowly turned into a soft smile even when there’s still a shadow of gloom in her eyes. She looks so fragile… like she could crumble at any moment if I were to let go of her. “…good thing that you don’t plan on letting go of me either, right?”

“You don’t even need to ask. I will never let go of you.” I declared lovingly.

“Never ever…?” She asked, her tone resembling that of our daughters when they sulk. Not that that’s bad. Not at all. For it doesn’t change my answer.

“Never ever.”

“You’re not saying that just to make me feel better, right?” She asks, her tone now gaining a welcome hint of playfulness.

“Pfft, now who’s the dummy here? As if I’d ever lie to you, darling.” I giggle. She giggles. I kiss her on the forehead. Then, I continue. “But no, I’m not saying that just to make you feel better. I would even go to the ends of everything to get you back if someone were to keep us apart. All of that is the truth. Simple as that.”

Hearing that, Nerinne just… looked at me and smiled in a way that felt as if she knew with absolute certainty that I’d say that, that I’d literally do that. Then, she rested her head on one of my shoulders and I began caressing it. We stayed like that for a while, silence reigning once again until it didn’t, until a soft laugh broke it, her laugh.

“Fufufu… it hasn’t been that long since our positions were reversed, and I was the one comforting you… Before, I would call such thing one of the surprises that makes me love life, even if it’s presided by something painful, but now… it’s not a surprise. And I don’t mean it in a bad way, rather it makes me love life even more, for just as I have comforted you, you have comforted me. Time and time again…” She whispered as the shadow of gloom slowly disappeared from her eyes. “That’s why, more than my fears over what has happened and may happen, more than anything else, I want to show you proof of how much I love you, Auros.”

“Nerinne… before I met you there was a hole in my heart. It was deep, dark, and filled with a yearning so long calcified that I had become completely numb to it. Then you came along with your oh so whimsical and sincere way of love and just… filled it. You saw my everything, down to the very core of my being, and you loved me for it. That’s why I’ve said that I don’t need more proof, but whatever it is, be it hugging like this or Soul Bonding, I’ll do it. Just like I said I would.” I say this from the bottom of my heart, darling. Truly. Genuinely.

“Thank you, Auros.” Said Nerinne with the same sincerity as we inched our heads closer and closer, until… we finally kissed, stopping only when she wished to and even then we remained as close, our foreheads touching together. “Let’s start so I can show you my everything too, down to the very core…”

“Nerinne… very well. What do I need to do next? Should we sit?” I asked and she shook her head.

“There’s no need. Just… stay as you are and don’t pull away from me.”

“Alrig—” I tried to answer, but Nerinne put one of her fingers on my lips, stopping me.

“Shhhh no more talking, Auros. Sync your breathing with mine.” She whispered in gentle guidance before she too fell silent and our breathing slowly but surely began to sync up.

I inhaled; she exhaled. She inhaled; I exhaled. She inhaled; I inhaled. She exhaled; I exhaled. She inhaled; I inhaled. She exhaled; I exhaled. We repeated this until even the slightest trace of variance vanished, until our breathing seemed one and the same, and when it was, I felt something warm cover me. It took but a glance to see what it was. It was faint, but we were glowing. Hers was a light blueish glow while mine was a reddish glow, yet despite such difference in color, both glows were not separate. Instead, they were intermingling with each other in a way not dissimilar to our embrace.

Close your eyes, dear. Nerinne’s voice touched my mind just as it had done many times before and I closed my eyes just as I caught a glimpse of the walls around us opening up like a flower’s petals. Lastly… will you trust me with your everything once again, my love? Will you trust me with your very soul…?

You don’t have to ask, my heroine. My soul is yours. I am yours. Always and forever. Even if I sound cheesy, heh.

Fufu… then, keep your eyes closed and focus on my voice, and only my voice. Hold on to it and nothing else. No matter what you feel from now on, alright? One of the things that come from us sharing our thoughts, these inner voices of ours, is that all the feelings in them are crystal clear to us. Even those we don’t mention. So do not worry, my love.

I will not be afraid, and my focus won’t falter.

I will hold you to that, my love. As soon as those words grazed my mind, I felt it, the warmth that was enveloping me, enveloping us, had become more intense, yet not in an inherently bad way. It wasn’t burning me, us. Rather… it was as if the degree of separation between the warmth, this distinction, didn’t exist anymore. And just as the warmth that was enveloping me was intermingling with the one enveloping Nerinne, now I was doing the same.

No.

Not just that.

I… was melting into Nerinne. And Nerinne was melting into me. We were fusing. Our knees, which were simply touching before, now moved inside each other until two pairs became one. Mine but not mine. Hers but not hers. Ours.

Soul Bonding is the communion between the soul of a mortal and a god. It is the highest act of love performed by a being whose most important aspect is their ‘self’.

The sensations I feel as our arms and chests fall into each other would certainly make anyone lose themselves, especially now that the lines determining me and her were almost completely blurred, but I have Nerinne’s voice as my anchor, my lighthouse in the horizon, my home. So I keep focusing on it. Even more so now that we’re both falling into each other yet we’re not. I would call all it surreal, a kaleidoscope of sensation both familiar and new, but I’ll save that for when…

It is an act of absolute trust by a being whose very existence hangs on its essence.

…our heads, the last part of us that was still two, become one… Became one.

And now I’m…

Falling in an infinite void of totality, but I’m not.

Sinking deeper and deeper into waters of endless pleasure, but I’m not.

Floating in the middle of an ever-expanding cosmos of curiosity, but I’m not.

Flying through a never-ending sky of joy, but I’m not.

Pulled into an endless garden of pure bliss, but I’m not.

Lulled by the soft song of perpetual serenity, but I’m not.

And so much, much more that I cannot hope to describe wholly, for the words I’d have to use would be as infinite as the infinity I’m experiencing right now. An infinity where I am but sea foam on its boundless coast, experiencing everything for one ephemeral dream of a moment and many, many eons, all at the same time, all before disappearing completely… but I’m not.

I’m not.

Why?

To soul bond is to commit to a dance between the ever-changing possibilities of a mortal, its beautiful, shining potentiality, and the all-reaching absolutes of a god.

Because I have a word to uphold. I will not falter. I will keep holding on to her voice as she guides me through this maze of her, rather than grabbing onto the many, many hands belonging to the parts of a much larger whole that lies beyond them, our destination. Yet even those very same ones who would have me become astray from their pull alone have a warm touch, a quality that everything, everywhere, everywhen, here shares.

In a way it feels similar to when I was in the grasp of her dark self but different at the same time, lacking the ever-grasping fear and obsession painting over it. Instead there is certainty in something I never doubted.

That is why, once again, a god only soul bonds with the one they truly love. You.

I love you. And I love you.

I am with you. And I am with you.

I embrace you. And I embrace you.

You are you. And you are you.

We are two, but also one.

And just like you have laid it all bare for me, I, Nerinne, Goddess of Love, Daughter of Primordial Conflagrations and Joinings, lay it all bare for you, my partner of the soul. My essence. My core. My eternal heart. My self.

Can you feel it?

Yes… I can feel it. Your essence that is love. Your warm core. It’s like the morning sun, like the smile you give me when we wake up beside the other, like your touch whenever you put your hand on my cheek, like the joy we experience every time we see our daughters smile, but there’s more to it than just that.

I can also feel your pain, your doubts, your fears, your sadness, your anger, your hopes, your dreams, your joys, your very quirks and… your memories.

Some feel ancient, ingrained with a sense of discovery, learning, and innocent love. Some are old, burned with disbelief, anger, grief and excruciating pain. Some are more recent, memories of the now, of fun and love, of us. But… in that same now there are some covered in a veil of a desire to protect me.

I…

I trust you.

Auros…

How could I not when these other memories, memories to be, are filled with the hope and joy we both are fighting for?

This, all of this, is an ever-shining rainbow of you who are love, you who are so… so very close that I could hold you if I were to just reach out.

You can. Hold my core, me, just like you hold my face… with love. Or you can crush it… and end me.

Never. Ever. Those words will never come to be. Yet, as much as I loathe the image that they force in my mind, I understand why you would use such words. I can feel it in your core. In my body. In your body. You are…

Indeed. In doing this, I put myself in your hands. Here, like this, I am like you. Vulnerable. Fragile. Mortal. This is the extent of my love for you. This is my proof. We may be different beings, and our values may differ in scope, but even so… I entrust all that is me to you. Now… will you hold me, or will you crush me, Auros?

You already know my answer. You have known it since the very beginning.

Then reach out. Hold me. Pull me closer. Embrace me. Kiss me.

Yes… like that.

Ah… such joy. To be held like this… thank you, Auros.

There is nothing to thank me for, Nerinne. For you to expose yourself like this… the amount of courage you must have mustered to take this step… there is no way I would do anything but this, for I would never betray your trust nor your love. Besides, don’t think that I didn’t notice that this is but your way to say, ‘my soul is yours’.

Fufu~, even if it is cheesy.

Heh.

I am fortunate to have you, Auros.

And I am fortunate to have you, Nerinne.

SSR fortunate?

UR fortunate.

Fufufufu~, I love you. Forever and always.

I love you too. Forever and always.

To be continued… (cue majestic illustration of Auros embracing Nerinne’s core while a cosmic Nerinne, who is the entire background, embraces Auros)