Vol 2. Chapter 3: A peaceful run through the city of the gods! (1)

“Watch me! For I shall do anything to get back my precious collection!!" I proclaimed with all my might! No… WITH EVERYTHING THAT I WAS! FOR THAT IS WHAT I MUSTERED TO TURN MY WORDS INTO A REALITY!! TO CREATE A DOOR INTO THE CITY OF THE GODS!! THE VERY CITY THAT THE GODDESS I’M CURRENTLY TUNING OUT JUST MENTIONED!! AND WITHIN IT, FIND NERINNE’S APARTMENT! I MEAN, DIVINE REALM! THE PLACE WHERE MY COLLECTION RESIDES!! THE VERY SAME COLLECTION THAT WAS ENGRAVED INTO MY VERY SOUL… until I somehow managed to bring it out in Nerinne’s divine realm so I could use it to introduce Nerinne into the ways of waifuism.

“Of course this was not your first time doing something this ridiculous in a god’s divine realm…! Why am I not surprised?! But seriously! You really do not want to make that door! Much less cross it, Auros Argento!!”

Hmm… now, that I think about it, just HOW did I actually do that? Back then I got carried away by my own very pure and very normal weebness and excitement and just did it, so I never reflected on it. But now that I am, I do remember Nerinne saying something along the lines of me not being supposed to do that. I guess the signs for this thing—whatever this is—that helped me push back Isharnnat were showing up since then.

“By Nada, you really are ignoring me, are you not?! Ahhh! The space around your hand! It’s twisting! Come on! Stop it!”

Man, that would be some serious foreshadowing. Of course, that would only apply in the case of me being a character in an isekai web novel, which I’m 100% sure I’m not. After all, that would mean the nonexistent author was actually able to think this far ahead about something as small as a tiny detail from an early-story gag. There’s no way, right?

“I-It’s expanding! The spatial weirdness is expanding!”

Still, in the tiny, microscopic, hypothetical chance that he indeed thought that far ahead about this, I would say that I APPROVE 100%! WHY?! BECAUSE JOKES ARE THE DEEPEST LORE!! AND FULLFILLING THIS WOULD BE BUT ANOTHER CHECK! AH, BUT NOT ANY CHECK! A STORY CHECK! SO WE GET MORE POINTS FROM IT! And yes, we are getting points from these checks! The math weeb over there is keeping the count. A few more and we’ll get a free ice cream!! Wooo!!

“Math weeb? W-Who are you even talking to now?! No! Forget about that! STOP MONOLOGUING AND LISTEN TO ME!! DON’T MAKE THE DOOR! YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO—ah… it’s too late…”

“YES, IT’S DONE!” I exclaimed happily as I looked at the door that had appeared before us with an adorable ‘poof’. Don’t know what the now looking down Isharnnat was on about saying I was twisting the space in a weird way… can’t she see that the door is a very normal looking, apartment door? Oh well, no need to dwell on it when I’m about to leave this place! So, I turn to my right, take a step forward, put my hand on the doorknob and—

“Wait, Auros Argento!” Isharnnat exclaimed, trying to stop me from leaving by grabbing onto my gyaru uniform’s sleeve. A super effective move, mind you, considering her strength. “Exactly! So you either listen to me, or you pull away and ruin this perfect uniform by tearing its sleeve!”

Shocked by her despicable threat, I gasped. “SO EVIL! NOT ONLY DO YOU BURN ME WITH SOUL BLAZING FLAMES, BUT NOW YOU THREATEN ME WITH RUINING THESE SEXY CLOTHES YOU GIFTED ME?! FINE! SAY IT, YOU MONSTER!”

“The monster would have been you if you pulled away! Not me! But that is beside the point! You really cannot go into the Urbs Deorum! The city of the gods is not a safe place for the soul of a mortal! Can you imagine what would happen to you if some strange god were to capture you and take you to their divine realm?! They would do horrible things to you! I am sure of it!”

“…” Dumbfounded by what she just said, I stared at Isharnnat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, my gaze screaming ‘seriously?’. Then, I started slowly turning the doorknob.

“NOO! WAIT! I THOUGHT WE WERE EVEN?!” Asked Isharnnat, which only made me turn the knob the rest of the way while staring at her EVEN MORE, causing the door to creak open. “AHHH! STOP! STOP! I WAS WRONG! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE! IF YOU DO, YAWUE WILL BE MAD WITH ME!”

“Is that so?” I said as I put one foot on the other side of the door, ignoring the pleas of the goddess with whom I kept eye contact with. “Oh well, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Predictably, both my words and actions annoyed her, leading her to say one of the marquee phrases for annoyed gods! Here it comes! “Don’t you dare, mortal! And stop looking so smug! You predicted nothing! That phrase just fits my feelings the best!”

“Uh-huh,” I replied ever so smugly.

“Giii!!! You know what?! Fine! If that is how you want to play, I will just return you to your body! So goodbye, Auros Arge—"

“AH! It’s Yawue! And he looks mad! LIKE REALLY FRIGGING MAD!!” I SCREAM WHILE POINTING RIGHT BEHIND HER, BECAUSE HOLY CRAP! THAT’S SOME GODLY WRATH!!

“Whuh?! Where?! I am sorry!” She exclaimed as she let go of my sleeve and turned around. “I knew you told me to stop but I had to—wait, there is no one there!”

Having realized that I had tricked her, Isharnnat turned once again only to find little old me waving goodbye at her from the other side of the door, all while still smiling smugly of course.

“You little…!! Get back here this instant!” she demanded, her voice sounding not truly threatening, but more like that of an angry, scolding mother’s. Heck, she even had the whole ‘anger vein popping’ thing going on, heh! Still, her words fell in deaf ears as I just winked at her and ran away as fast I could! Muahahahaha! That is not to say that I can’t hear what she is saying, because I still can! At least for a bit!

“Kakaka… aren’t you a cheeky one? Alright! If this is how you want things to go, then I shall give you the honor of being hunted down by mine self! Ready or not… HERE I GO!!”

Scaaary…!!

Hello, I’m Auros Argento. I’m 24 years old and, to be honest, I have plenty of occupations. Waifuist, 4th Wall Enjoyer, Maid Culture Specialist, Master, Pro Evil Dragon Lord Suppression Activist, Professional Evil God Hater, and, most important of all, Father of the Two Cutest Girls in Two Worlds. But, more to the point, I’m also an Isekai Explorer. Thus, you may be wondering why, instead of taking in the vistas that this majestic city of the gods provides, I’m running through it at such ridiculous speed, all while wearing nothing but this gyaru uniform—so much bouncing—and repeatedly saying, “shitshitshitshitshit!”

Well, the reason for that is one you know very well by now. It’s golden. It’s stubborn. And it’s freaking scary! It’s…

“AUROOOOOOOOOOS!! YOU CANNOT OUTRUN A GODDESS LIKE ME!!”

…Isharnnat! She’s been chasing me with that terrifying demonic face and voice for a good while now!!

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!” I exclaim while not even glancing at her nor stopping! Never stopping! “SERIOUSLY! I’M JUST GOING TO WHERE MY GIRLFRIEND IS!"

Speaking of which, where are you Nerinne? Where’s your divine realm? Where? Give me a sig—oh crap! Gods! LOTS OF THEM!! GOTTA SQUEEZE MY WAY IN WHILE MAINTAINING SPEED! “Sorry! Excuse me! Coming through!”

Phew… I managed to get out of that godly traffic jam but man it sure was cramped… Still, I think I should give you weebs more details than just the crumbs I’ve been able to provide here and there, so let’s do that right now since Isharnnat seems to be a bit stuck in that divine gridlock. “MOVE, YOU IDIOTS! WHY ARE YOU BLOCKING THE WAY LIKE THIS?!”

Yep, she’s very stuck and very angry about it too it seems, heh. Anyways, the place I’m running through right now resembles the hallway of a very, VERY fancy, infinitely expanding hotel/apartment building. I don’t know if this is really how it looks like, or if this is just the way my mind is interpreting it given the method I used to get here, but that’s how it looks like to me. And when I said that this place was infinitely expanding, I meant it. This entire place is just like the ceiling of Isharnnat’s divine realm, as in there’s no end to it in sight. It just keeps going and going and going… just like me right now, heh!

As for the vistas I mentioned, they can be seen through these massive windows that appear every so often as I run. Be it to my right, to my left, above me, and even below me, we’re bound to run into one soon enough.

And right on cue, there’s lots here! Are you seeing this?! Flying waterfalls in which the water flows in mind-boggling ways, luscious divine gardens and jungles with all manner of plants and animals in shapes and colors I can barely comprehend and perceive, titanic mountains with tops that somehow seem to reach beyond the infinite ceiling, and lots, and I mean LOTS, of clouds.

But that’s not all because… THERE’S ACTUAL DIVINE BEASTS TOO!! LOOK! OVER THERE! A WORLD TURTLE WITH A FRIGGING YGGDRASSIL LEVEL GIANT TREE ON ITS BACK! AND IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! BY NERINNE, IT IS! A DIVINE DRAGON! THAT’S AWESOME!!! Wait… are they looking this way? They are! AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A THUMBS UP! ASJAHSHSAJSJSAHDSHJD! THANK YOU! YOU’RE SO COOOOOOOOL!!

Ahem… sorry about that, I may have gotten a bit excited, just a bit though, heh. Anyways, this place is absolutely filled to the brim with gods of all shapes and sizes, all coming and going from the various doors found throughout this massive hall. And of course, that means that it’s impossible for me to go unnoticed. Well, that wasn’t going to happen either way since they’re gods, but you know what I mean. Speaking of being noticed, I can already feel the gaze of a couple of gods on me…

“Hm? Is that a mortal’s soul?”

“Huh, that certainly seems to be the case. That makes me wonder… when was the last time a mortal’s soul walked in this city?” Those words… are they implying that I’m not the first to do this? Or could they be referring to those chosen to become demi-gods and the like? Maybe the other has an answer.

Dang, he doesn’t. He just shook his head. “I cannot remember, my friend. But why is she running like that?”

“Well, we can always just look into ‘it’ and find out, my friend.”

“Indeed.”

And now they’re not just gazing at me, they’re using ‘that’ kind of gaze. The same type that Isharnnat used to see into every fiber of, well, me. By the way, did I mishear or was I called an ‘it’ by one of them?

“Hmm, I see.”

“Indeed, I suppose that warrants running like she is doing.”

Well, barring that not so nice way of referring to someone, that’s been every god’s reaction to me when I’m notice—hm? Instinct flaring u—OOF! THAT WAS CLOSE!! IF IT WEREN’T FOR MY INSTINCT, I WOULD’VE CRASHED INTO THE FOOT OF A TITANIC GOD MADE OF SOMETHING RESEMBLING DIAMOND JUST NOW! BUT I’M NOT OUT OF THE WOODS JUST YET!! THE PIROUETTE I JUST DID TO DODGE THAT FOOT IS NOT ONLY ONE I DON’T WANT TO DO EVER AGAIN, BUT IT’S ALSO ONE I MUST NAIL ITS LANDING OR I WILL EITHER GO SPLAT ON THE GROUND OR I WILL CRASH INTO ANOTHER GOD!!

Come on, Auros! You can do it! You can do it! Nail this landing! Nail it riiiiiiiiiiiiight… NOW!! THERE! I DID IT!! Huh, why do I hear people clapping and cheering? That’s…! THERE’S A WHOLE LOT OF GODS SITTING ON SOME DIVINE STANDS HOLDING GRADING BOARDS WITH TOP SCORES FOR ME! AND THEY’RE EVEN PRAISING ME! “Nice landing, mortal!”

“That was awesome!! I never thought a mortal soul could contort like that before nailing the landing with such a cool yet lewd pose!”

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL, THERE’S EVEN A SEPARATE, NON-GRADING AUDIENCE BEHIND THEM JUST CLAPPING AND CHEERING! “Wooooooo!!!”

“Keep going, mortal!”

“This is the most entertaining thing I’ve seen here in ages! Please show us more, I already got snacks!!” ALL OF THEM ARE SO CAREFREE, BUT THIS ONE IS THE MOST CAREFREE!!

Still, since they’re already doing that, I’ll do my part and bow while saying, “thank you, thank you. I still haven’t found the one I’m looking for, so you’ll have plenty of entertainment until then! See ya!”

With that, I speed off again with all my might! And not a moment too soon, because just as I was leaving, I heard one of the judging gods say, “hm? Isn’t that Isharnnat?”

But it’s fine! It’s totally fine! I’ve made enough distance between me and her! Ahaha! Haha! Haha! Still, I suppose I should look over my shoulder just in case she—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHE’S ALMOST HERE!! HOW DID SHE CLOSE THE DISTANCE SO QUICKLY?!! OH! SHE’S ABOUT TO RUN INTO A GROUP OF MASSIVE GODS! THAT SHOULD DELAY HER AGAIN!

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!!”

“ACK—?!”

“URK—?!”

“WAH—?!”

IT DIDN’T DELAY HER AT ALL! ISHARNNAT JUST KNOCKED THEM DOWN LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! Thankfully, the other not so massive gods were able to barely escape before they became pancakes… BUT STILL!! WHAT THE HELL?!! THIS GODDESS IS CRAZY!! GOTTA GO FAST! FASTER! FASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! I CAN’T LET HER GET ME!

Having said that, I shouldn’t let this stop me from telling you more of what I see while running away through this nigh-labyrinthian hall, and man am I seeing some awesome things right now! I’m talking about the glimpses I’ve been getting of the divine realms that lie behind some of the doors all of these gods are coming in and out from!

Some of these interiors are white rooms just like the one we’re used to by now, but there’s others that are just breathtaking. Like that one!! It looks like it has an entire universe inside, yet it’s not really that, but an entire ecosystem of living things made up of galaxies, nebulas, and the like! Or this one that is entirely made of sound! The things are sound! The colors that paint them are sound! Nothing in there is not sound! And that one, which is… err… what is that? What are those? Or more like… how are those?! Ok… I think I lack vocabulary to describe what I just saw in there, but I’ll try anyway! It was both trippy, tasted purple, was silently loud, smelled like the ice cream flavor that would fit perfectly between vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry—if something like that even exists—and I was somehow touching it by just glimpsing it, which gave me the sensation of… touching numbers?

Ugh… I-I think I should move on and just talk about the tamer ones before I get the soul equivalent of a migraine… so I’ll do just that. These ‘tamer’ interiors have more than one god in them and the things they’re doing are pretty mundane actually. Some are playing chess together, some are having debates with each other, some more are drawing up stuff in teams and the like, and others are just enjoying their harems or having a wholesome date in a divine garden of their own making.

“Oh! That mortal soul has a nice shine to it! Plenty of colors too!” I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT THE WAY THAT RANDOM GODDESS SAID THAT GAVE ME THE CHILLS!

“GET YOUR EYES OFF HER! THAT SOUL IS MY PREY!” SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!! THERE SHE IS! THE MORE TERRIFYING GODDESS! ISHARNNAT! Hang on! Maybe this other goddess will fight her to get me, and I’ll be able to escape safely in the commotion!

“…” SHE FAINTED WHILE STANDING AND VANISHED?! THAT DOES IT! I REALLY HAVE TO LOSE HER! Maybe if I turn here, then go down this way, then go this other way aaaaaaand… LOST HER! Phew… but still… did you hear that, my weebs? She sees me as prey!! Isn’t she getting too into thi—!

“Kya! No! My meal!” AH! Now I’ve done it… I just made this little goddess drop her plate, but…! I CAN STILL CATCH IT! Insert sudden slow-motion plate and food catching scene aaand…

“Here! I apologize for almost ruining your meal. It seems I was not paying as much attention as I thought. I hope you can forgive me,” I said as politely as possible while handing her back her plate. After all, I’m completely at fault and I have no reason to not be nice with gods who aren’t Isharnnat and a certain someone I won’t name. Anyways… “Now that I’m looking at it, this seems to be some sort of fish. Am I correct?”

“Y-Yes…!” She said, timidly nodding her head. Man, she looks shaken up. And who could blame her? She was minding her own business when, suddenly, a running mortal’s soul almost made her drop her meal. I need to make things right.

“I see. Then, as a way of apology, please have this,” I ‘pull out’ a tiny sauce bottle from my soul’s cleavage and give it to her before continuing. “It is a special sauce that me and my friends made with ingredients of two different worlds after experimenting a bit. You can use it to season your meal. It is pretty good if I do say so myse—”

“AUROOOOOOOOS! I CAN SEE YOUUUUUUU!!” THAT SCREAMING GODDESS HAS FOUND ME ALREADY?! DAMMIT!

“I’m sorry, I gotta go! If you like it, be sure to tell Nerinne! Alright?” I said as I started running while glancing back to the little goddess, who nodded not as shyly as before and waved goodbye to me with a smile on her face. That’s good. Hopefully she finishes calming down while enjoying her meal. As for me, I suppose I’ll take yet another route to try and lose Isharnnat while looking for Nerinne’s divine realm.

Yet, it seems that I underestimated how massive this place is, and that’s despite me emphasizing the infinitely expanding scale of it. No matter what road I take, be it a normal one, an upside down one, a mind-bending one, or how many floors I ascend or descend to, I still feel that Nerinne is far away… “Where are you, darling…?”

“THERE YOU ARE, AUROS ARGENTO!” Of course, just as I whisper for my goddess, Isharnnat appears. Again. I know hiding from her is pointless since she can use her powers to find me at any time, but I wish she wouldn’t find me this quickly without them either! “KAKA! THAT IS NEVER HAPPENING! I WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU! SO GIVE UP ALREAD—KYAAA!”

“Wha…?” Did… Did Isharnnat just slip on a fruit peel and fell face first on the floor?!

“OW! WHO SUMMONED THIS THING?!” SHE DID! IT EVEN HURT HER!

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” AND THERE’S GODS LAUGHING AT HER FROM ALL SIDES!! EVEN THE LITTLE GODDESS IS… holding an unpeeled fruit that matches the aforementioned peel and signaling me to keep quite about it with a devious smile?! Hold on, wasn’t she on another floor? WHO CARES?! I DON’T! THANK YOU, LITTLE GODDESS!!

“KEEP LAUGHING AND I SHALL SHOW YOU SOMETHING FUNNIER.” SCAAAARY! SHE JUST SILENCED ALL THOSE GODS WITH JUST THAT SHOUT!! First, that other goddess fainted, and now this… wasn’t Isharnnat just an annoying and idiot old goddess?

“I HEARD THAT!”

“EEEP!” Yes, I just went ‘eep’. No. I’m not proud of it. And yeah, I’m still running as fast as I can. The little goddess bought me a bit of time, so I need to make the most of it! That’s why I’m going to focus as much as I can to try and find Nerinne with my instinct. Hopefully I don’t crash into someone… Anyways, let’s do this.

Remember the particular warmth of her divine realm. Remember its scent. Remember the way it silently hummed. Remember the light it gave off. Remember Nerinne’s unique godly aura, her scent, her warmth. Remember the sound of her—“chains? Why am I hearing chains so suddenly?”

I look for the source of said sound and find it immediately. They are thick, heavy, white-pinkish glowing chains. They are somewhat familiar too… But most importantly, they are below me, or to be precise… around my feet. And they just tightened. “That can’t be goo—OOF!”

AHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE JUST PULLED ME OVER THE GUARDRAIL TO MY RIGHT AND NOW I’M FALLING INTO THE LOWER LEVELS OF THE CITY!! AND FAST! SO FAST IT’S HARD FOR ME TO KEEP MY EYES OPEN!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE?! AND HOW LONG AM I GOING TO KEEP FALLING LIKE A RAGDOLL?! AND FALLING! AND FALLING! AND FALLIIIIIIIIIIIIII—hm? Hang on, I think I’m falling at a much slower speed now. Let me open my eyes to check.

“Wha…?” I let out, confused at my current situation, for while I was indeed falling at a much slower speed now—not unlike a feather—I was also falling onto the arms of the owner of the chains, a very tall, and very well-endowed, hooded, half-masked goddess with golden eyes. I don’t know her at all and yet the air around her is…

“Oh my, how can you say that?” She asked, seemingly offended as caught me on her arms and she made both the hood and the half mask covering most of her face disappear, letting her long rose gold hair flow freely down her back… “Don’t you recognize your dear, dear Nerinne, darling?”

“That’s…”

To be continued…(cue chibi Isharnnat looking for Auros like a cartoon hunting dog!)