Vol 2. Chapter 2: Luxuriant Virago Wrapped in Scarred Gold! Enter Isharnnat! (1)

Zzzz… zzz…

“Kakaka!”

ZzzzZz… zZz... ZZzzz…

“Finally! After so many days of trying!”

ZzZZzzz… hrmmn… zZz…

“I finally pulled the grand prize without her noticing! The mortal Nerinne is head over heels for!”

Hrrmmn… nnn… ugh… wh-wha…? Did… somebody… say Nerinne?

“Come on! Shake that grogginess off, sleepyhead!”

Whoa?! Someone’s shaking me! Who’s…?! Wha…?

“There. You’re finally awake. Good. We have lots to talk about, kakaka!”

“Well, I’ll be…” I mutter as I take in everything before me, from the ethereal woman who just shook me awake, to the scenery all around, and the fact that I’m sitting on a chair with only a high tea table between us, and well… Stop me if you have heard this one before. Suddenly waking up in a pure, heavenly white place? Check. No clothes or other stuff besides a white robe and some comfy sandals? Check. And the answer to the following question of:

“Is this a dream?”

“It is not, kaka!” She laughs, clearly finding this whole situation to be quite funny, but the amusement in her smile is short-lived, as it quickly becomes a cunning one before saying, “but you already knew that, Auros Argento.”

Heh, of course the mysterious woman before me knows my name, it wouldn’t make sense otherwise. And yeah, I did know it wasn’t a dream, but I wanted to say it again since I thought I’d never get the chance to do so for a second time, hehe. Wait a second…

Then, that… radiantly glowing golden hair is... “Like the sun, if I might say so myself, kaka.”

Those ruby eyes that are literally shining with interest are… “Like the gleaming gemstones my darling followers offer me.”

That golden dress with an intricate yet simple design that somehow marries combat functionality with gaudiness and sensuality is… “Made by the best war fashionista of my lovely world after their death~.”

Those golden proportions balanced with a sculpted physique are…“All training and proper care, I assure you.”

A scar in the middle of the chest that gives the vibe that I should stop talking about it right this second for my own safety, and not because it’s a blemish on her beauty, but because the reason behind it is probably an emotional ordeal of godly magnitudes and very, very not my business. “While I am somewhat weirded out by your accuracy, it was wise of you to reach that conclusion, yes.”

The silky-smooth voice that is identical to a certain vampire that has Kiss on her name and a heart under her blade is... “Quite the shot for a specific way to compliment someone, but I shall accept it anyway, kaka!”

And last but certainly not least, a golden divine aura of authority… “Kakakakaka! Indeed.” Hngh… and the pressure to back it up… because… urk… she just slammed me on the table with it after… saying tha—ack… and she’s not letting up…

“Who… are you?” I ask with great difficulty as I’m still being… s-subjected to her incredibly oppressive pressure, and yeah… the irony of that is not lost on me… urk… Still, you could say that I already have an idea as to who she is… given how Nerinne acts whenever the topic of a certain group of people comes up… Especially so with a certain someone…

“It is as you suspect, Auros Argento. Like Yawue and Nerinne, I am a Goddess. And like them, I oversee my own world in the infinite tapestry that is our macro-reality. As for my name, I have many. You even know some of them very, very well.” Implicatioooons~~. Implications that I don’t want to think about right now because I’ll lose it~~. At least she has released me from her overwhelming pressure, which is good, but yeah, not thinking about it at aaaall~~.

“Oh, don’t be like that, kaka! You know of me thanks to those few souls who managed to keep some of their previous life’s memories. Memories of my world and mine self. Still, since you seem set in your desire for denial”—crap, that’s one heck of a devious smirk—"I shall be the one to regale you with them. Those names are Inanna and… Ishtar.”

“Oh shi—!!”

“But you, Auros Argento, you may refer to me by the true name of Isharnnat. Goddess of Combat and Fertility. I am so, so pleased to meet you.”

Yes, I just audibly gulped from everything she just said. Why? Because, in the end, I was right. I’m in front of another Goddess instead of sleeping in my bed with my family. The very Goddess whose name Nerinne stopped me from uttering that one time because she REALLY didn’t want me to draw her attention! And probably for a VERY GOOD REASON! That’s great… ahahaha… haha… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! NERINNE IS GOING TO GO ALL DARK ON ME WHEN SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

“Kakakaka, what’s with that?! Kakakaka!” She cackled to the point of hugging her stomach and shedding a tear, which she promptly got rid of with her finger before she continued. “Normally, mortals are either grateful to be in mine presence, or too tantalized with mine beauty to even think of anything else. Yet, here you are, naught an ounce of gratefulness in you, which is understandable as you are not of my faith, but you are not tantalized either. And that makes your reaction to mine self not only a first, but also very, very amusing. Now that I think about it, you were not even angered by mine playful use of my power on you.” Said the Godd—“Isharnnat. I believe I told you to refer to mine self as such, did I not?” Ahem… said Isharnnat, her interest in me clearly growing—as well as her shrewd smile—before I failed to use her name, and she sharply scolded me.

Also, I’m not tantalized because I’m already hopelessly in love with my own divine soul partner, as well as my mortal partners. As for me not being angry at you using your pressure on me, I just chucked it up to me getting a taste of my own medicine, especially after doing the same to a lot of people these last two months, deservedly so for most—save a few—but still.

“I see. Although, if I may, this… narration of yours, do you do it all the time?” she asks, genuinely curious and still somewhat weirded out by it. A feeling I probably just worsened by proving able to still notice it despite her attempts to hide it. Aaaand she nodded at that. Oof…

“Sorry, it’s just how my mind has been wired since quite a while, I cannot help it. Although, to be honest, it’s something I quite enjoy.” I said with a satisfied smile, thinking just how interesting my life has felt ever since my mind got like this. Doubly so now that I’m pretty much living a life that feels straight out of the isekai novels I love so much.

“Well… err… good for you, I suppose…”

“Ahahaha, thanks!” I laugh while rubbing the back of my head anime style, taking her awkward validation in stride—WAIT, THAT’S NOT IT! ALL OF THIS IS NOT IT! Why am I here?! Did I really die from something so isekai cliché as overworking?!! Because this whole situation is beat by beat what happens after that!! I know because I lived it! Heck, the next step is me being reincarnated into another world! And I don’t wanna! I haven’t even really started exploring the isekai I just reincarnated into! I can’t be getting isekai’d again! I can’t leave my family either! Not again! I love them so much!

And then, as I’m losing my mind over these familiar circumstances I find myself in again, Isharnnat claps, taking my breath away with the sudden, yet utterly awestriking change she brought to our surroundings with that very clap, transforming the white room where we were into an infinitely expanding palace of gold in shades both known and unknown to me, and firmly says, “calm yourself, mortal.”

It’s all so shiny, but that’s not all. Upwards, floating in the infinitely expanding ceiling, there’s also hundreds of floating gardens filled with a menagerie of flowers, trees, and even small animals, all brimming with life and colored in an entrancing shade of red I’ve never seen before. Some of those gardens even have their own waterfalls, lakes, and rivers. It’s all so frigging cool to the point that I can’t help but say, “wow.”

“Kaka, this is nothing for someone such as mine self. But it seems that it has calmed you down as I desired, so it shall do. Now, be welcome to mine divine realm, Auros Argento.” Said Isharnnat, not only truly proud of this divine realm of hers, but also in a… genuinely welcoming manner, so much so that I feel the need to respond in kind. So I do.

“Thank you, Isharnnat. I truly appreciate being invited to your divine realm and being permitted to see things I never imagined I’d see, but—” Aaaaand Isharnnat disappeared in a poof of golden smoke, only to reappear beside me and silence me by putting her index finger on my lips.

That… doesn’t do much since I can just say what I have to say through my narration and you’ll hear it perfectly by reading my mind, Isharnnat. Case in point: I really have to leave! Don’t you see? The tropes demand for Nerinne to coincidentally come to this place for whatever reason now that I am here!! And this position we’re in right now only increases the chances of that happening, along with a misunderstanding!! A VERY DANGEROUS MISUNDERSTANDING! And since I’m the protagonist, I’m going to get hit with whatever Dark Nerinne can muster!! I REALLY don’t want to know what it is that she can muster! SO PLEASE, LET ME GO!!!

“There is nothing to be concerned about, Auros Argento. She is not going to come into mine divine realm unannounced. She can’t. And we are not doing anything that would qualify as cheating for your soul partner. That is… unless you want to.”

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH! STOP RIGHT THERE! DON’T LEAN CLOSER TO ME WHILE LICKING YOUR LIPS IN SUCH A SUGGESTIVE MANNER!! I ALSO CAN TOTALLY SEE QUITE A LOT ALREADY! SO YOU DON’T NEED TO PULL ON THE CHEST PART OF YOUR DRESS TO SHOW ME MORE! REALLY! SO, THANK YOU FOR THE MEAL—NO! NOT THAT! I MEANT TO SAY NO THANKS! THE ONLY GODDESS IN MY HEART AND SOUL IS NERINNE! AND THAT IS THAT!!

Suddenly, Isharnnat is pushed back a few steps by what I can only describe as a wave of power? Will? A wave of… something along those lines that… came out of me? More like, my soul? But…

“Did I really just do that…?” No, seriously. I’m confused by this. Isharnnat is a Goddess, I shouldn’t be able to do what I did. I mean, yes, I made those books and other stuff appear back then, but those were objects, not whatever this was. Hmm, I can sense another trope at work, but that can wait because I gotta ask, “Isharnnat, are you ok?”

“Kakaka, you truly are an amusing one alright, kakakaka!” She is laughing! I just did something that is probably anathema, and she’s laughing! “Well, what can I say? I have never been so… emphatically rejected in my long life! It is another first! As for your question, yes, I am alright. It was only a light push. Nothing more. Still, thank you for asking. You have earned some good points for that and your show of loyalty.” Don’t just change the subject like that while pleasantly smiling as if nothing happened! Also, points?

“Wait… is this whole situation some sort of test?” I ask, quizzically raising an eyebrow.

“It is some sort of test, yes. But you may just think of it as me taking an interest in your”—she pauses, her cunning smile making a return—"unique situation and wanting to see your worthiness by conversing with you a bit. After all, I do share quite the connection with Nerinne and… with you, Auros Argento.”

“Ah. Right. Ahaha… I forgot about that little detail with everything that has happened, you… you helped me get that UR version of yourself from the gacha by blessing me, ahahaha…” I laugh nervously, unable to remember anything but the pull itself. I hope I didn’t say anything weird or bad.

“Correct. That is exactly it, Auros Argento. And do not worry, I remember it very, very well. How could I not? You raised your phone to the heavens and mightily screamed, ‘Ishtar! If you exist and you’re not a useless Goddess, then come to me! Now!’ There was no way for me to just stand idly by and do nothing after hearing something like that, so I blessed you.”

“…”

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRYYYY!!!! I DID NOT KNOW!! LOOK, I AM BOWING IN  DOGEZA TO SHOW YOU HOW TRULY SORRY I AM!! SO, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING THE ‘U’ WORD!!

“Kakaka, it is fine! Return to your seat. I am not wont to do the things the legends of your former world say I do. If I was, well”—Isharnnat paused. Suddenly, the air around me became chilly and the Goddess before me grew to an unfathomable size, yet I could somehow still see her murderous gaze and smile, a terrifying murderous gaze and smile—“I would have cursed you right there and then.”

The second she mentioned a curse, thousands of flat, paper-like golden hands rose from the floor and slithered their way onto me, covering me almost completely, a claustrophobic illustration of her curse, but that was bearable compared to… compared to… WHAT’S MAKING ME PLUS ULTRA GULP RIGHT NOW! AND THAT’S THE GIANT, LUXURIOUS GOLDEN NAIL HANGING ABOVE MY HEAD! HEY, ISHARNNAT! THAT’S ENOUGH! I GET YOUR POINT! YOU DON’T NEED TO GO THIS FAR!!

“Recent events notwithstanding, of course, as such repeated scorning of mine self would demand for a far, far harsher punishment than a mere curse like… soul disintegration.” SO THAT’S WHAT THE NAIL IS FOR?! THAT’S TOO MUCH!! ALSO, DON’T IGNORE ME!! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME; YOU’RE CLEARLY TRYING NOT TO LAUGH DAMMIT!

“Kakakakaka! Sorry, sorry!” Said Isharnnat as she returned to her normal size while waving her right hand, making the paper-like golden hands retreat into the floor and turning the golden nail back into one of her palace’s many pillars. “It is just that your narration has me wanting to act a tad more dramatic than my usual. Although it still weirds me out a lot, teehee.”

THAT DUMMY LAUGH WAS SO DRY IT MAKES THOSE HURTFUL WORDS STING EVEN MORE! AND WHAT’S WITH THOSE LIFELESS EYES TOO?! YOU’RE MAKING ME WANNA CRY!

“As I was saying,” went on Isharnnat, totally ignoring me, “I could have done all of that if I was like the one in those legends, but I am not. Instead, I not only forgave you for calling me useless, but I also decided to give you what you desired at the time. Aren’t I quite generous, Auros Argento? ”

“TOTALLY! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!” I EXCLAIM WHILE NODDING REPEATEDLY AND CONDEMNING PAST ME FROM SAYING THAT! DAMMIT PAST ME! I KNOW THAT YOU—I DIDN’T KNOW, BUT STILL!

“Kaka, you are very welcome. Now, with that out of the way, shall we truly start our conversation? Because we have very, very much to discuss,” she declared with no hint of her previous shrewdness. In fact, I could only feel truthfulness not just from her words, but from her current demeanor.

How was I brought here? What is she testing my worthiness for? Is that related to what we have to discuss? Is that really all she wants? And… what is her connection with Nerinne? With all these questions in my mind making my curiosity grow past my wariness, and the fact that my darling hasn’t made her way in to trip the misunderstanding flag—not that I’d do anything to give her that idea, unlike a certain someone—I steel myself, look at the one before me in the eyes, and say the only valid response for someone who chose the Goddess Route, regardless of the unexpected events it might bring, just as I promised to both Nerinne and Yawue. “Alright, let’s talk. But, as you certainly heard, I need some answers, Isharnnat.”

“Kaka! Very well, I suppose that is the least I can do to ensure an amicable conversation. As such, I shall prepare the proper canvas.” With that, she snaps her fingers and her divine realm changes once again, and this time I find myself sitting alone in the middle of a space composed entirely of ethereal gold dust, ready to be molded by the Goddess whose presence I feel everywhere yet is nowhere to be seen. Then, she speaks once again. “There. Now, sit back, relax, and let this Goddess regale you with the knowledge you so wish for… and more.”

To be continued… (cue cute illustration of “meanwhile, back in Auros’ bedroom” with Celesia rolling over and sleeping on Ere’s, Auros’, and Nerinne’s faces while all of this is happening)