Not Anyone
"-You see Edrick, this is not space as you know it, this is the cosmos, where the creator- The father of everything resides" Irandelle explained.
"You mean god? Or rather, god god?" he added since this dashing creature, this DCILF as one might say, had referred to herself as a goddess, and since she had animal heads and enough arms to take care of a whole battalion, he was inclined into believing that she was at least a cryptid, which was a good reason to listen to her ramblings.
"Basically, he's literally responsible for the existence of everything but it's not very important to us right now, you see, I didn't just pick you because you are the greatest serial killer I have ever seen, I wanted you to take up this job because you are not just anyone"
Anoteros nodded, of course he wasn't just anyone, he was more than a hundred years old and in better shape than the entire population, that took skill and a masterful utilisation of one's superior genes.
"No, not like that" she read his thoughts, instead pulling a mirror from behind her back.
"You come from a world where the most supernatural thing in existence is an ape with big feet, and you or anyone never questioned that your eyes are coloured a deep purple, of a shade that does not even exist anywhere else but your ocular globes?" Irandelle repeatedly tapped the side of her central head with three fingers.
"Well, I am a special cookie, what can I say?- Bigfoot is real?" he had more pressing questions to ask at the moment.
"Yes, but he died of dysentery- Those eyes of yours, it means that you are part of a little community, and that's what I first noticed! Your place is not in a crappy world in which the magic system is science and nothing else! It would be like putting an elephant on a stool, but I am here to rectify things, I have no fear when I say that the god above all made a mistake putting you there"
"Your destiny is being sent in a mediaeval-like fantasy world with dubious senses of morality, illogical landscapes and whose size of a little island is actually four-hundred times that of your previous world, counting all of space with it!" she tapped her chest, causing a loud slapping noise.
Waiting for the vibrations to settle, Irandelle snapped her fingers, casting the image of a tranquil home built upon a nearly perfectly vertical mountain slope, overlooking a village that just stinked of poverty at best and scabies at worst.
Crossing his arms, Edrick, who was still drenched from head to toe, tilted his head a bit.
"Is this the place I am supposed to go to?"
"Pretty much, now listen carefully, the important information is coming…"
"The world I am sending you to is not exactly a standard one, as you know, the big man upstairs is personally in charge of everything that was, is and will be, like most others, he created this world in his sleep, and he thought it was a good idea to sort of… Assign roles and have rough scripts associated with each of them" explained the goddess.
"So like, some people are given the role of protagonist, and from there, a rudimentary fate is assigned to them and to other people as well, who are then given roles as well, like ally, antagonist, villain and such, a protagonist can be all sort of things though- The so-called plot they are given can also vary greatly, but the important thing is, I will have you take over the body of a minor antagonist, and from there, you can basically do whatever you want, just make sure to spit and piss all over the protagonist's face"
Anoteros was not at all interested by the logistics.
"I was under the impression that you wanted someone to do something specific though" he had not missed the way she had been expressing herself since the very beginning, and it had seemed like she had tried to send other people before him.
"Well, I am a goddess of strife, I want action, I want a little bit of chaos… and since I am not one of those lower deities that is anchored to a particular world, I can pick and choose where I want it, and let me tell you- This place is boring, the scripts are too numerous, they are always dozens of them everywhere you look! And for some reason, they are all garbage too" she scowled, even the goat and crow heads seemed appalled.
"I tried to send absolute scum there, into the bodies of both roleless people and that of those with importance to the script, but they were all useless! They just decided to fit into their roles down to a tee, like good little puppies! And I am talking about arsonists and cannibals, they could not interfere or be good enough nuisances to warrant a change in storyline…"
Her amorous gaze landed right Edrick, no one had ever been so happy by just looking at him, sure he was a handsome, refined old man but not to the point of seemingly causing a spontaneous rolling of their eyes into the back of their heads, this generally happened after he tightened the rope.
"...So, I felt a little discouraged, so I thought that I would need someone of better quality, and you are the best candidate for this, those of your kind are either insane, or commit mass murder, and also, you have the nice advantage of not having to care about fate"
A painting fell from the darkness above in between the serial killer and the goddess.
"I had found another one with the purple eyes like you, but he was talking to walls and eating his childhood's sweetheart face, I prefer the reasonably insane like you"
"Sounds like a great dude… You sort of trailed off, don't you have anything else to tell me or something?" at last, he took off his jacket, letting the soggy mess crash against the floor.
He didn't even bother to question when and how he had stood up from his seat or where the table and chairs had gone to, instead looking into this painting, which was just an image of what Irandelle had just shown him through her magic, floating screen.
"I'll just put the rest directly into your mind, the reincarnation highway is going to close soon" she casually mentioned.
"Just jump into the painting, you know, like in that game with the plumber?"
"Why would anyone want to play as a plumber?"
"It's- Forget it, just jump"
"Alright, next time I see you, I am de-" he just walked in mid-sentence, not like it mattered since Irandelle had read his mind already.
"Oh, I certainly hope you do~"