CH 39: DISCUSSION WITH REM (2)

---REM POV

Rem stared at Akira in shock, her head swimming as she heard that story.

"Wh-where did you hear this story?"

She couldn't help but ask. Akira, on the other hand, gave a bland smile as he said.

"Now, now, it does not matter, does it? You see. This story isn't particularly interesting. This is just the story of a pitiful and selfish boy who died in a stupid and selfish way. He may have suffered, but many people in this world suffered more than him. There was nothing special about him. The reason I told you his story was just in order to make something clear to you… Sooner or later, one of you will break."

Rem fell silent and closed her eyes. But Akira didn't plan to let her play the ostrich.

"You have lived all your life under the protection of Ram and was envious of her talent and power. You were envious of the love and respect she was receiving. You felt useless because of your weakness."

"..."

"The day your clan was exterminated, you were too weak to do anything. In fact, the one who fought the fiercest was Ram and in order to protect you she lost her power."

"..."

"The moment she lost her horn, you felt joy, for a brief instant, then disgust at that joy. So, you decided to dedicate your life to your sister. You trained, again and again, you became the perfect maid, you killed all your emotions. You became stronger. But, even despite all that, seeing Ram always brought you pain."

Akira raised his head and looked at the ceiling. His eyes expressed how tired he was.

"You know, there's frankly nothing wrong with how you act. You are the kind and beautiful girl who is willing to do everything for her sister. It's so beautiful, it's so full of love, it's so endearing, and more than anything it's so selfish."

"I…"

"Now, now, don't interrupt me. There's nothing wrong with being selfish. All beings should be a little selfish. But you see. There's a difference between selfish people who know that they are selfish and selfish people who think they aren't."

"It's wrong."

"What do you think? Are you really helping your sister because you are sorry? No, or more precisely not entirely. Perhaps it allows you to sleep better at night. Perhaps you tell yourself. [I am not bad. I am helping her.]"

Rem lowered her head even more, words leaving her. Seeing this, Akira sighed and stopped his binding magic, still, despite being free, Rem still didn't move.

"You know. The story I told you. If it was an analogy. Ram would be the boy and you would be the parents. Your love is certainly beautiful. But your selfishness in imposing that love is only hurting the two of you."

He patted Rem on the head and gave out a bright smile,

"Rem. You are someone I really respect. Someone I really admire. I may not understand but I know to what extent you are willing to go in order to protect those you love."

He wasn't joking around.

"Rem you know–It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to not hide your feelings. It's okay to think only for you. If your selfishness means protecting those you care for, then do not hide it behind pretty words. Be honest. Accept the reality."

"I don't understand."

Rem finally spoke her feelings. She couldn't understand. She couldn't understand his words. Being selfish should be bad. So why does he make it sound so beautiful? Why did his hand on her head make her feel so peaceful?

"Hehe. Rem. Selfishness is the drive behind every great being. They may call it selflessness, but in reality they are just two sides of the same coin. The kindest people in this world are without the doubt the most selfish. So Rem. Be selfish. Be yourself. Do not hide your feelings."

He stopped patting her and began to walk away.

"Of course, I know that just some words aren't enough to change your way of thinking or acting. But… Think about it. One day, I guess you will understand."

Rem watched him leave in silence. Her head swimming in thoughts. What does being selfish mean?

She understood the definition of selfishness, but she didn't think this definition was exactly what he was talking about.

This night was destined to be a restless night.

----AKIRA POV

After closing the door of Rem's room, I wasn't surprised to see Ram standing on the hallway with her back on the wall.

Ever since I obtained my authority, I became able to feel sources of heat in a certain radius. So I already knew she was present since the start of my discussion with Rem.

We walked away in silence, our steps barely echoing in the darkness. It was only after we finally left the vicinity of Rem's room that Ram finally opened her mouth,

"Rem is really a good girl."

I simply nodded.

"When Mamako saved us, I was a total wreck. Mana leaked out from me, and the pain and suffering I had to go through made me think I was in hell. I couldn't help but ask myself. Why me? What did I do?"

She swung her hand, and a soft breeze formed before dissipating. A bitter smile forming on her mouth.

"You see. Rem, seeing me like that, rushed towards Mamako and kneeled low on the ground. Rubbing her head raw until bleeding while begging Mamako to save me. In order to do so, she didn't hesitate to sell herself to Mamako."

I already knew the story. Though not this version.

In Re zero, why were Rem and Ram serving under Roswald? It wasn't just because he saved them. No. It was more difficult than that.

During the attack of the village, Ram knelt and swore to give herself to him if he saved Rem.

Later in the mansion, Rem knelt in front of him and swore to give herself to him if he saved Ram from her pain.

Neither of the two knew what the other did. Neither of the two discussed before doing it. Still, their decisions were the same.

In order to save the one they cared for. They gave up everything with no hesitation.

"Akira-sama." Ram walked in front of me before giving me a deep bow. "Thank you."

This wasn't the usual snarky Ram. She didn't have her uncaring expression nor her mischievous one.

No, this was the Ram who cared for her sister. The one who didn't hesitate to sacrifice her horn to saver her sister. The one who did not hesitate to sell herself in order to protect her sister.

"You owe me."

She smiled at my answer.

For someone as proud as her, this was without a doubt the best answer I could give.

I didn't believe one instant that my words could change Rem in one go. I wasn't Naruto. I don't have max-level in Talk-no-jutsu.

But, I knew my words were useless either. They had created a gap and planted a seed. Said seed would take a long time to germinate. But once it does, the flower will be immensely beautiful.

Of that I had no doubt. After all, I was the gardener.