Ch47: Crawling Back

“AHHH!”

Krvavy gasps and bolts upright, chest heaving with each ragged and erratic breath she takes. The sound of her heartbeat hammering away in her ears is almost deafening, drumming away at far too fast a pace.

Echoes of pain linger in her mind. The burning restraints binding her in place... The way her muscles locked and spasmed against her will... The agonizing bolts arcing through her body... The scent of her own flesh charring... How her eyes sizzled and –!

“Hahhh...!” Krvavy’s shoulders shake, palms pressing against her temples.

She takes a long, deep breath.

The ever-burning campfire crackles softly beside her, fuelled by magic and not the decorative logs within those soothing flames. No smoke rises from that fire yet it still gives off a pleasant scent. It smells as if wood is burning. Not... meat.

She slowly exhales.

Krvavy is in her respawn point. The little, private cave that only she can enter. A safe place, if ever there was one.

Tension leaves her body as she gradually calms herself down.

“Fuck...” Krvavy breathes out after... who knows how many minutes. She lifts her head from her hands, staring into the quietly crackling flames. “That was... Unpleasant...” She involuntarily shudders, unable to fully discard that fresh memory. “I’ve had worse deaths in other games, but... they’re usually quicker...”

Her gaze drops down to the bare stone floor. There is no longer a bedroll in here. She moved it out some time ago. But that hardly matters... She just wants to lie down and rest...

“I... should probably take a break... Exit out... have some lunch...”

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

An error fills her vision.

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

Krvavy’s blood runs cold and her stomach sinks in dread.

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

Again and again the notifications fill her vision. Appearing each time she tries to exit the game.

Krvavy snaps her eyes shut as panic rises inside of her. Waves of nausea wash over her. A suffocating pressure weighs down on her. It takes all of her will to simply breathe. To slowly inhale. To slowly exhale. To keep from hyperventilating.

Why can’t she exit out of the game?

Myriad thoughts race through her mind, but that one question keeps repeating itself over and over and over.

Even if she weren’t teetering on the edge of panic... Krvavy wouldn’t know how to answer it.

In a daze, she begins to desperately sort through her frantic thoughts, trying to find some way to rationalize what is happening. To understand what has happened.

Is this just a prank? Some sort of sick fucking joke from the developers? Unlikely. That would be a dick move at the best of times, let alone when it happens to someone beta testing their game.

Did the developers mess up in programming the game? Is this some sort of extremely catastrophic bug? Also unlikely. The IVR system requires a constant uninterrupted connection or it automatically boots the user out. She has had games crash and freeze on her before. Many times before. And while it is always an extremely painful and jarring experience it also always booted her out.

So did she die? Did Leanna die? Not just in the game, but for real? That... She doesn’t want to believe that...! Even though she didn’t like her life as Leanna, she doesn’t want to die! But if she did, then what is happening now?! How is she here?! Is she trapped in this game?!

The almost clinical calm that accompanied her shock cracks and shatters. Krvavy’s whole body shakes and trembles and shudders as she struggles to keep herself from truly panicking. This... this is just too much for her to handle. She leans forwards, pulling her knees up to her chest, and sinks her face into her hands. Krvavy’s whole body aches. A knot of pain is eating away inside of her, gnawing at her core.

If, and that is a big if, she is actually dead then... what is happening right now? How is she still here?

Is this just the last hurrah of her mind firing neurons off like crazy? Did the IVR connection mess with it so that instead of seeing her miserable life flash before her eyes she gets... this? What... what happens when her time runs out...? Would everything just... fade away? Cease to exist? Would she even notice?

Maybe she isn’t dead, or at least not fully. Maybe she is just in a coma, or something, and her mind is being supported by her computer? No, that... that is worse. Way worse. She’ll die if no one comes to check up on her, likely by dehydration. And if someone does find her, however unlikely that is, would pulling her out of her IVR sever her mind?

What about when the power inevitably goes out? That... could the power going off boot her back out, like it is supposed to? But... how many days, or weeks, would she have to live through first? Or will that leave her brain-dead?

Maybe... maybe something with her save got corrupted? Copying her consciousness into the game but preventing Leanna from playing it any more? That... isn’t so bad. At least the real Leanna would be alive. But... there isn’t any point in keeping a corrupted save. Krvavy will die, or at least cease to be, when it is deleted.

None of those possibilities sound good. Hopefully this is just some fucked up prank. But, thinking about it, there is still one more possibility, isn’t there? She doesn’t really want to consider it because it is so insane. Absolutely fucking insane. And a major cope. But...

What if this is a real world and she just got properly isekai-ed into it...? While ridiculous, it is the only option that isn’t completely depressing. But if the world is real... then so is everything in it... Everyone in it... Which would mean... everything she has done...

Krvavy forces herself to swallow, even though her mouth and throat are both dry.

So... what has happened?

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

She doesn’t... She doesn’t think it is a prank. It is going on for too long. But if it isn’t a prank...

Does she want to try deluding herself into thinking that everything will be alright? Her options basically boil down to dead with an indeterminate amount of time left, dead with a few weeks of time left, the slim possibility of being booted from the game after a few weeks of time, and having an entire new life ahead of her. Really, the only difference is how long she has to live and how much she wants to gaslight herself.

No. She doesn’t need to accept anything right now. There is nothing Krvavy can do but wait and see. And to occasionally try to exit out every now and then. Maybe it’ll work at some point. Or maybe everything, including herself, will suddenly cease to exist and she’ll be none the wiser. Until then, she might as well keep playing. Keep living. In denial. Refusing to acknowledge what may be reality.

There is really nothing she can do right now. Nothing. Nothing... Nothing at all...

She feels absolutely helpless, and that just makes it all worse. So much worse.

Taking a deep breath, Krvavy opens her eyes once more. She needs to put this aside, to try and just ignore it...

She isn’t calm by any means, but as long as she doesn’t think about– nothing. There is nothing to think about. That... that is for the best. Her life may have– No. Stop it.

Shaking her head, Krvavy frantically searches for something, anything, to distract herself with. And she finds that in her notifications. Buried beneath... all of the other ones that she just summoned.

You have died.Blessed by an Otherworldly Force, your soul has the strength to return you to life in the location that it is bound to. But this process is straining and wears away at your soul: each death will take longer than the last to recover from, until you meet your final death.

Krvavy tiredly sighs, eyes shifting back and forth as she read and rereads that again and again. At least she can die another few times without it being permanent... But she doesn’t want to die again. She only has so many lives, and she doesn’t want to waste them. Especially if those lives are all that she has left...

And if dying once got her into this situation, what if dying again made it worse...? She... doesn’t even want to think about that...

Luckily, it looks like that isn’t her only notification. She still has some stuff to distract herself with. And she is more than eager to do just that.

+1 Divine Favour, for overcoming death.Your Otherworldly Patron, Vel’ka Dravost, favours those who take what they desire and who show great strength of body and character.

Divine Favour Points Shop now unlocked.Gain additional Divine Favour by fulfilling your desires and by proving your strength.

“What...?” Krvavy mutters out. Her shocked and rather cloudy mind swirls. Is... this some sort of premium micro-transaction shop...? If that is the case, then this... isn’t exactly the best time to be unlocking it. It must be something else, right...? Well, there is only one way to find out what it really is: open it up and check it out.

A large window fills Krvavy’s vision as she wills the Points Shop open. Which immediately overwhelms her already unsteady senses and pushes aside all her worries. Columns upon columns of words... numbers... There is so much stuff here. It is insane...! And the costs! Some things here are just one point, like an Alchemist Starter Set, but then other are– “Holy shit!”

Inventory: 75 Divine Favour. Gain a personal pocket dimension within your soul which can be used to store items in complete stasis. Upgradable.

She wants that. Desperately. But for 75 points?! That is... How long will it take to save up for that?! What other things are in here?!

A set of magical dice that always roll what she wants, a set of cookware that makes everything cooked using them taste better, a ring with some sort of tracking spell on it, a canteen that automatically fills with water which gives minor buffs, a spellbook full of basic starter spells... A lot of little things that are only a few points each. But that is all junk. Or at least a waste of points. She could probably find all that stuff for sale in some city. So, she might as well filter all those out.

The window in front of her shifts at that thought, shrinking considerably as all those purchasable trinkets disappear. Everything left over is... Well, it all seems pretty good. Most of them are expensive though. But some of them definitely seem worth saving up for, at least after she gets an inventory. So no point in worrying about the ones that cost more than Inventory does.

Cunning Linguist: 40 Divine Favour. Upgrades Not So Cunning Linguist to increase the rate at which languages are learned. Gain the ability to learn languages through oral sex, both giving and receiving, as well as the ability to increase the pleasure associated with oral sex by up to 50%.

The Worlds’ Wisdom: 50 Divine Favour. Gain an additional divine blessing from your Otherworldly Patron which vastly improves Mana & Spellpower in accordance to how natural your surrounding environment is. Upgradable.

Nature’s Fury: 50 Divine Favour. Gain an additional divine blessing from your Otherworldly Patron which vastly improves physical attributes & damage dealt in proportion to destruction caused to your nearby surroundings. Upgradable.

She definitely wants to get Cunning Linguist at some point. Not only will it fix the main issue she has with Not So Cunning Linguist, which is how ‘long’ it takes to learn another language, but it has the added bonus of actually making the trait sex related. The name finally makes sense.

Of course, the other two are pretty good as well. She appreciates that she can buy the starter traits that she skipped out on. Even if she doesn’t care too much about them. Though the fact that they can be upgraded does help...

But those three aren’t what sticks out to her the most. No, there is something even better.

Skilled Soul I: 25 Divine Favour. Increases attribute points gained per level to 6. Points for previous levels will be available for allocation upon purchase. Upgradable.

That is amazing! Not only is it comparatively cheap, but it is a pretty big permanent buff. And it can be upgraded, so who knows how many stat points she can end up getting each level?!

Krvavy really isn’t sure if she wants to save up for Inventory or get Skilled Soul first. She doesn’t know how rare Divine Favour is, or how long it’ll take her to get enough for either of them. She can only assume that fulfilling her desires doesn’t mean anything as simple as getting a snack when she is hungry.

So what about the more affordable options? Some of them do seem kind of useless. Such as the option to purchase base attribute points one at a time, starting at one Divine Favour each but increasing in cost as she buys more for that particular stat. That sounds like something to dump points into when she has everything else, so it is useless for her right now. That said, not all of the cheaper choices are throwaway ones.

Superior Stud I: 1 Divine Favour. Gain the ability to change your fertility at will, between 0% and its base level. Does not affect semen production, simply the chance to cause pregnancies. Upgradable.

Naturists Blessing II: 2 Divine Favour. Upgrade Naturists Blessing to gain increased True Defence according to the quality of what is worn. Upgradable.

Soulbound Weaponry I: 5 Divine Favour. Gain the ability to create a Soulbound Weapon by consuming an existing one, though its type will change to match your highest proficiency. A Soulbound Weapon can be stored within your soul, recalled to your hand at will, and automatically repairs itself over time. Upgradable.

All three of those appeal to her, though Superior Stud I is definitely the least useful there. It mostly just saves Beryl from having to collect the herbs required to prevent pregnancies. But Krvavy would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious about the fact that it can be upgraded.

That just isn’t something that she should be wasting her points on right now though. Especially since the other two are way, way better. Having more True Defence would be great, and she really wants that Soulbound weapon. It just sounds so good, especially for how cheap it is. Really, it’d be worth it to just have a weapon that she doesn’t have to carry around, so not having to do anything to maintain it is just icing on the cake. It is honestly a surprise that her axe didn’t break sooner, but now she can just–

That thought snaps Krvavy back to the present.

The weight of the situation that she has found herself in comes crashing back down in an instant. Her axe is gone. It was destroyed when she died. It... probably wasn’t the best, being starting gear and all. But just thinking about it causes her heart to feel heavy. She had that axe since the start of her journey, and even though it actually hasn’t been that long it feels like she had the thing for a lifetime...

This new points shop was a welcome distraction, giving her the chance to forget about what happened for just a moment. But she died, possibly for real, and she is now stuck in this game. If it is even just a game.

< ERROR: SOUL-LINK CONNECTION LOST. UNABLE TO ESTABLISH CONNECTION WITH ORIGINAL FORM >

Krvavy struggles to swallow as her painfully dry throat suddenly feels like it is closing up. The situation is a lot more real to her now. She... feels incredibly tired. But not the kind of tired that sleep can fix. It is the kind of tired that makes waking up feel like a bad decision, the kind that makes living feel like a mistake. A feeling that Leanna was all too familiar with...

She... doesn’t know what to do. Is this her life now? Is this a life that she wants?

Slumping her shoulders, Krvavy tiredly exhales and almost doesn’t want to inhale again. She... Right now she just wants to go and relax in her hot spring...

And so, after a few moments of mustering up her will, Krvavy rises to her feet. Her legs are sore and a bit unsteady, but it isn’t too bad. She can make it to the relaxing waters of the hot spring. Those wonderful pools are... waiting for her...

They’re just a short walk away...