151 – Are you having a laugh, Natasha?

A minute passed with me and the eye in the sky staring at each other. The iris had the colors of the rainbow, and the pupil was black.

I focused all my senses on it to see if it was dangerous. Oddly enough, I grasped an unnatural feeling of familiarity. Like the one similar to seeing cousins after a few years. Which was extremely unsettling: I had no cousins.

Nilenna's words came to me. 'Send my regards to our cousins when you visit!' is what she wrote in the letter.

I tried appraising it.

It was too far away so nothing came to view.

I shrugged. I'd fight it to the death if it attacked, anyway.

A few more minutes passed.

“Are we waiting for something?” I asked my companions, still looking up.

Alyssa was the one to reply, “Someone will come and give us an answer,” she said, then added, “In the meantime, we are not allowed to look away from the ground.”

I squinted my eyes. “Says who?” I skeptically inquired, maintaining eye contact with the heavenly observer.

“Divine Etiquette,” Yolin replied.

I hummed loudly. “You're missing quite the spectacle,” I informed them. “Not the craziest I've seen, but still pretty out there.”

A few of them gasped.

“You're looking up?” Pokora asked with palpable curiosity.

“Yep,” I confirmed, then chuckled, “I haven't been turned to sand... yet.”

The Elf snorted and laughed quietly. “This fucking idiot,” she sighed.

Or was it salt? I wondered. Maybe clay?

“What do you see?” Lapia probed with a little fear in her voice.

I arched an eyebrow. “Take a look for yourself,” I taunted her.

“We mustn't!” Alyssa hissed.

“It's pretty big,” I teased with a giggle. “There's no way you'd miss it if you take a peek.”

“Natasha!” Yolin called out, a little angry. “Stop!”

“Sorry,” I muttered, realizing I was pushing it.

My Cleric girlfriends were women of faith, after all. Definitely out of line on my part to tell them to defy their beliefs.

I raised both hands to the sky, then flipped them to show the back side. I grabbed my nose with my left hand's index and middle fingers and made a show of yanking it off, sneakily replacing it with my thumb. “Wow!” I whispered in mock shock, pointing at my stolen nose and showing it to the eye in the sky. Then, I quickly waved my hand and stretched my fingers. I opened my mouth and eyes wide in surprise. “Where did it go?” I asked the eye in the sky. Then, I touched my face and gasped. “It was there the whole time!” I told it and sighed in amazement.

The iris looking at me contracted and expanded.

Did it just sigh at me? I wondered, a little offended. Okay, I'll have to pull the big guns.

I closed both hands into fists, then hit my left fist. I stretched two fingers. “Wow!” I breathed out. Then, I hit my right and transferred my stretched fingers. “Woah! How does she do it?!” I asked the eye in the sky.

No response. It floated there, unimpressed.

“Fair,” I muttered, then pointed a finger at it. “What do you call a man without a body and a nose?!” I asked the eye in the sky.

The iris contracted.

I touched my nose with a finger and smiled. “Nobody knows!” I laughed.

“PFFFFT!” Bromisnar choked and started laughing.

The iris expanded, contracted, and expanded again.

“Get it?” I asked the eye in the sky. “No-body... nose...” I offered. How do I know if it's laughing?

My companions chuckled and giggled.

“What are you doing?” Bonte questioned with a sigh.

I shrugged. “Does the waiting have to be boring?” I asked back.

“Why are you telling us jokes, though?” Alyssa sighed, a little pissed.

I sucked air through my teeth. “Well, it's not you who I'm telling the joke to,” I pointed out.

My companions went silent, then started breathing loudly.

“Relax,” I assured them, staring at the eye. “I'll protect you if anything happens. Kinda my main point, right?”

The eye's target shifted to the forest and it dissolved.

Right then, noise came from between the trees, gaining my focus.

A person dressed with white robes and a hood covering their head approached.

A group of ten similarly clothed individuals followed closely behind.

They all had an eye drawn on their chests and hoods, and they moved without the bounce that hips and legs produce.

I tapped Sonya's neck.

The animal brought us between the group and my companions.

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 321 Orator]

[Orchulid Dryad, Lvl 302 Orator]

[Gazahria Dryad, Lvl 291 Orator]

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 288 Orator]

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 288 Orator]

[Orchulid Dryad, Lvl 278 Orator]

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 276 Orator]

[Gazahria Dryad, Lvl 252 Orator]

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 231 Orator]

[Orchulid Dryad, Lvl 202 Orator]

[Corestine Dryad, Lvl 189 Orator]

My eyebrows went up in surprise.

They all knelt in front of me.

“O Halve,” the one at the front spoke with enough respect to make my spine tingle uncomfortably. “Legenose ov God turin.”

I blinked twice and tilted my head. “Pardon?”

“Apologies,” the individual lowered their head, switching to Common Tongue but using the same respectful tone. “Welcome to Divine Lands, Your Excellency. We will escort Your Excellency and companions. The Gods are waiting.”

Don't cringe, Natasha! I told myself. Be strong! “Please do,” I told them with a nod and turned to my companions.

They stood up, moved to their mounts, and approached us on foot.

I arched an eyebrow. Should I walk? I'm a Halve, though. Ah, fuck it. If I fuck up they'll let me know. It's not like anyone will die, I concluded.

The Dryads turned around and moved back into the forest.

We followed.

Five minutes later.

Turns out, Dryads are fucking slow. And quiet! At least these ones.

“So,” I spoke to the nearest, trying to make conversation for the fourth time. “How's life in Divine Lands?”

“Calm,” they replied, not moving their head.

I waited for more, but nothing came. Ugh! I rolled my eyes. Cults.

My companions were equally silent.

Alyssa and Yolin whispered to themselves with both hands together in a prayer of sorts.

Freedom of belief, Natasha, I reminded myself and looked forward. Freedom of thought, too.

The forest around us was pretty much the same as the rest of the Cradle of Life. Critters ran around, birds flew by, and vegetation was abundant.

If not for the lack of road and the robed people guiding us, there was no telling we were in Divine Lands.

It wasn't until trees started growing farther from each other that my eyes widened to the limit.

Between the trees, and walking with regal pompousness, a feathery fellow with the disposition of royalty walked towards us. Its feathers glistened with ethereal magic, giving it a sparkly aura. It was tall, fat, and its wise eyes gazed upon the world with the fairness of a natural born eminence.

It was a turkey! Just like the one I saw on my first day in Galeia! Truly a magical turkey!

Naturally, the first thing I did was appraise it.

[Divine Sentinel, Lvl 1125]

THAT'S NOT A TURKEY! I shouted in my mind, feeling reality shatter before my eyes. THE BETRAYAL! I clutched my chest in dramatic pain.

The foul beast, progenitor of all lies and all deceivers ignored us and stopped next to a tree, then pecked at the ground to get seeds.

The memory of it being the first fantastical creature I saw replayed on my mind and I felt unimaginable cringe. I was a different woman back then. Ignorant, naive, and pure, I lamented. Well, not pure, but pretty ignorant.

Our group moved ahead and we left the turkey behind.

Only for more to pop up! Between the trees, among the bushes, and even flying for some cosmic reason! Tens of turkeys came to view.

I turned to my companions, pointing at the turkeys with wide eyes.

They all followed my gesture with their eyes, then widened them in surprise.

“We have arrived,” the hooded and robed individual, who I assumed to be the leader of the group, announced. “Please go ahead, Your Excellency,” they added and knelt.

In front of us, some fifty meters ahead, there was a wide clearing.

I looked at the individual and hummed. “And my companions?” I inquired.

“They will wait until the Gods have had an audience with Your Excellency,” they replied.

I turned to my companions. “You cool with that?” I casually asked.

They gave quick, strong nods in return.

I tilted my head. “Can you use words?” I probed.

They shook their heads.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Cults, I groaned in my mind and tapped Sonya's neck.

The Ratnak moved forward, closing the distance to the clearing.

Well, here it is, I sighed in my mind, looking at the approaching treeline. Gods. Will they be angry cosmic moths? Maybe biblically accurate Angels? Maybe Aliens? What's with not letting people describe them? Are they ugly as sin? Or super shy? Or eldritch horrors that break minds when seen?

Right before we crossed into the clearing, however, Sonya stopped and let out a low growl.

“Not you too,” I complained and dismounted. “What's up, girl?” I asked and walked to her head.

The Ratnak was looking at the ground, then shook her head.

“Scared?” I asked, rubbing her jaw.

She blinked, laid down, and fell asleep.

“Of course,” I sighed and shook my head. “Still, not nice,” I muttered and picked the over-sized lizard, then walked back to the group.

The leader of the Dryads came closer when we reached them. “Below level one thousand?” they asked.

I nodded. “Fell asleep right before crossing,” I explained and put Sonya down.

“Apologies,” they said and lowered their head. “Preventive measures are in place for reasons.”

“Eh,” I shrugged. “Understandable,” I muttered and walked back to the clearing.

The rustle of leaves accompanied my track back, and twigs snapped under my feet.

“There,” I sighed after crossing into the clearing.

An obelisk occupied it. Around one hundred meters tall and thirty wide. The blue stone had engravings that glowed with the colors of the rainbow just like the eye a while ago.

I rubbed my palms together, then walked around the thing, looking for an entrance.

There was none.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh and looked around in search of clues.

A set of armor was leaning against the wall in front of me. It was a dark red color, similar to coagulated blood. The amount of details was impressive, too. An uncountable number of weapons were etched on its surface, giving it a violent touch.

I approached it and gave it a closer look.

The thing was empty and didn't have anything supporting it. It looked like it would fit me perfectly, too.

“Huh,” I uttered and appraised it.

[Shorvanna, Goddess of the path of the Warrior – The Restless Brawler – First of the Violent – Advocate for War – Mistress of Conflict – Progenitor of Ire – Begetter of Animosity – Second of the Gods – The Undisputed Victor – Waker of the Enraged – She Who Guides Battles – Daughter of the Architect – Builder of all that Challenges – Terror of the Peace-seeker – Empress of Strife – Guide of Protectors – Killer of the False Icon – She Who Whirls Forth – The Untamed – The Untainted – The Unreasonable – The Ungovernable – She Who Bathed in Blood – Mother of Anarchy – She Who Fans the Flames of Insurrection – True Immortal – Divine, Lvl 500]

SO LOW! I shouted in my mind. “So, Shorvy for short?” I chuckled, pretty nervous.