Ch 114: Immortal Fortune Teller
Su Wen walked down the street with Suzume perched atop his head, happily munching on another peach candy.
He was relying on the candy’s sweetness to dull the lingering, fiery spiciness still tormenting his insides.
Du Yue clung to his arm, delicately savouring her spirit-infused ice cream as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
The two strolled at an unhurried pace, taking in the bustling street with curious eyes.
Suddenly, Su Wen’s gaze landed on a small roadside stall, where an old man sat hunched over.
A tattered banner hung above him, bearing the words:
Immortal Fortune Teller
Not a single customer was in sight.
The old man looked bored and irritated, lazily swatting at flies bold enough to land on his arms.
When he casually glanced to the side, his eyes met Su Wen’s.
Su Wen’s eyes twitched instinctively.
Without hesitation, he shifted to block Du Yue’s view and tried to pivot away, pretending he hadn’t seen the man at all.
Du Yue tilted her head in confusion.
“Husband, are you trying to surprise me?” she asked, curiosity sparkling in her blue eyes.
“No, wifey,” Su Wen replied flatly. “I’m protecting you from someone who likes to scam people… Don’t ask questions. Let’s leave quickly.”
But before he could take even two steps...
“Brat! Where do you think you’re going?” a grating, cranky voice barked. “Is this how you show respect to your elders?”
“Tch…” Su Wen sighed, halting in his tracks.
He had no choice but to turn around.
Dragging Du Yue along, Su Wen approached the stall and forced a respectful expression onto his face.
“Grandteacher?! Is that you?” he exclaimed, bowing exaggeratedly. “I didn’t notice at all, I thought you were just some scammer trying to swindle people’s spirit stones.”
The old man’s eyes widened. His long beard trembled as his face twisted between shock and anger.
“Y-You brat…!” he stammered, clutching his beard as he struggled to preserve his dignity in the face of such nonsense.
Su Wen wasted no time.
He swiftly took out a few mid-grade spirit stones and slid them into the old man’s pouch.
In a slightly fawning tone, he said, “Grandteacher, don’t misunderstand. My eyes were at fault. I should have recognized you from far away, this is entirely my mistake.”
The con-artist old man glanced at the spirit stones and instantly broke into a wide smile.
“Haha! Brat, the instant I saw you, I knew you had potential!”
His gaze then shifted to Suzume and Du Yue.
Su Wen immediately spoke up.
“This little one is Suzume, and this is Du Yue, my wife.”
He then turned to her and added, “Wife, this old man is the master of the Headmaster of Sunrise Academy. That makes him my Grandteacher.”
Du Yue looked at the old man, paused briefly, then bowed slightly.
“I pay my respects to Grandteacher,” she said softly.
She then quietly took out several mid-grade spirit stones and placed them into the old man’s pouch, perfectly copying her husband.
Su Wen and the old man both froze.
Their gazes dropped to the spirit stones, then slowly lifted to Du Yue’s innocent, earnest face… before drifting back to each other.
For a brief moment, silence reigned.
Even with skin thick enough to rival city walls, both men found it impossible to completely hide the stiffness that crept into their expressions.
An unmistakable sense of embarrassment settled in the air... heavy, suffocating, and utterly unavoidable.
Seeing the atmosphere turn awkward, Su Wen hurriedly tried to smooth things over.
“Cough… Grandteacher, this is just my wife’s way of showing respect. Please don’t take it to heart.”
The old man coughed as well.
After a brief moment of contemplation, he swiftly sealed his pouch shut, his eyes gleaming with unmistakable satisfaction.
He then gave a slow, profound nod, fully adopting the posture of a sage graciously receiving tribute.
“Indeed,” the old man declared, stroking his long beard.
“Your wife possesses a true Heart of the Dao. Such filial piety is rare in this age. She understands that respect is best measured in tangible resources that do not ask questions and never disappoint.”
He shot Su Wen a sly wink.
“A truly magnificent wife you have found, you brat.”
Du Yue simply smiled, completely missing the satirical edge of his praise.
She looked up at Su Wen with bright, pleased eyes, clearly proud that she had done the proper etiquette.
“Husband… Grandteacher is very kind,” she whispered.
Su Wen’s eyes twitched.“Yes… you are absolutely right. He is truly the embodiment of kindness.”
The old man, invigorated by his unexpected windfall, suddenly straightened and announced loudly,“Now then, brat! Do you want me to tell your fortune? Predict where you will find rare treasures? Foresee calamities and blessings alike?!”
He puffed out his chest proudly.
“I am an Immortal Expert who can see the past, present, and future of all things!”
He finished with a theatrical whisper, his eyes darting meaningfully toward the bulging spirit-stone bag.
Su Wen immediately raised both hands, palms out, as if surrendering.
“It’s alright, Grandteacher. You don’t have to trouble yourself,” he said quickly.“Your time is precious.”
The old man’s face darkened with indignation.
“Oh? Brat. Are you saying you don’t trust your Grandteacher?”
“N-No! That’s not what I meant...”
“Hmph! Then what? You don’t even respect your elders anymore?” the old man grumbled, folding his arms dramatically and turning his head away.
Seeing this, Su Wen was just about to take out a few more spirit stones when Du Yue suddenly spoke, her eyes wide with curiosity.
“Husband, it’s fine,” she said gently.“Let’s see what Grandteacher predicts for your fortune.”
She was already fully invested.
Su Wen closed his eyes and sighed.
Meanwhile, the old man’s expression lit up like fireworks.
He instantly cleared his throat and stroked his beard with exaggerated elegance.
“Ahem! Since your virtuous wife has spoken, I shall reveal the heavens!”
He dramatically rolled up his sleeves and began waving his arms in wide, flowing arcs.
His hands traced circles through the air, fingers twisting and snapping as though tugging at invisible threads of fate.
At times, he pointed skyward; at others, he swept his palms downward.
His robes fluttered as he spun once in place, stopping with a decisive stomp.
Suzume, perched atop Su Wen’s head, tilted her tiny head.
“-Chirp… what is he doing?”
The old man ignored her completely and slowly closed his eyes.
“Let me read your destiny…”
A pause… a long pause… and an even longer pause.
Su Wen leaned in slightly.“Grandteacher…?”
The old man suddenly gasped. His eyes flew open as he staggered back a step, staring at Su Wen in disbelief.
After several long seconds, he finally spoke, turning his gaze away.
“Your fate… is shrouded in mist!”
Su Wen’s face darkened.“That means you can’t see anything, doesn’t it?”
“Nonsense!” the old man snapped.“Mist signifies mystery! Profundity! Depth! It means your future is too dazzling for ordinary eyes to comprehend!”
He leaned closer, squinting at Su Wen’s forehead.
“However! I can tell you one thing for certain.”
"You will have many wives… cough… many great opportunities ahead!”
Du Yue’s polite smile froze.
Su Wen felt his soul attempt to flee his body.
Du Yue’s eyes narrowed, her smile turning dangerous as her hand drifted ever closer to her sword.
“Husband…?”
Cold sweat poured down Su Wen’s forehead as he immediately grabbed her hand.
“Grandteacher means I have one wife who is worth many wives!” he blurted out.“A wife who is equal to countless great opportunities! It means you are my blessing and my greatest good fortune,” he added with a fawning smile.
Du Yue snorted softly.“Hmph… do you really think I’m some naïve wife who would believe nonsense like that?”
Su Wen kept his smile firmly in place as he spoke.“How could that be, my lovely wife?”
But inwardly, he was screaming, 'Didn’t you just believe this troublemaking old man a moment ago?!'
The old man coughed twice in quick succession.
“A-Alright! Forget everything I just said,” he declared hastily.“Let’s start over. I will ask a question.”
He turned toward Du Yue, once again adopting the air of a sagely immortal.
Du Yue looked at him grudgingly.“Yes, Grandteacher?”
“Tell me,” the old man said solemnly,“Where are you heading now?”
“We were going to the Treasure Tower,” Du Yue replied innocently.
“What for?” he asked, closing his eyes as though peering into heavenly secrets.
“Hm… Husband needs to buy a few things. Formations, mostly.”
The old man suddenly stood upright and gazed toward the sky.
“I see… now I see…”
He nodded gravely.
“You will go to the Treasure Tower to purchase formations and resources,” he declared,“in preparation for your journey to the Central Continent.”
He lowered his gaze slowly.
“This… is the future I have foreseen.”
He then glanced subtly at the spirit-stone bag.
“If you wish to know more…”“…it will require a small heavenly tribute.”
Du Yue and Suzume stared at him with sparkling eyes.
“Amazing…”
Su Wen felt his headache worsen.
Su Wen looked at the old man, who immediately averted his gaze, and could only shake his head with a helpless sigh.
The old man added casually,“Oh, one more thing, when you go to the Treasure Tower, don’t forget to take that black-coloured stone.”
Su Wen froze and blinked in confusion.“…What black-coloured stone?”
The old man waved his hand mysteriously.“That, you’ll have to find yourself.”
Then, without the slightest hint of shame, he shoved the spirit-stone bag deeper into his robe, slung his shabby sack over his shoulder, and declared,“Alright, let’s go.”
Su Wen stared at him, baffled.“…Go where?”
“Brat,” the old man snapped, puffing out his chest, “I am giving you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to follow me and learn the truths of the world!”
The words were grand.
The image, however, was that of a traveling beggar trying desperately to sound profound.
Su Wen sighed helplessly but cupped his fists politely.“It is naturally our honour to follow the great immortal.”
The old man nodded proudly, stroking his beard with all the smug satisfaction in the world.
Suddenly, Su Wen’s eyes narrowed as he looked the old man up and down.
Tattered clothes, a dusty, smelly robe, and shoes that had seen better centuries, he could hardly believe this was the “great immortal.”
“Old man... wait!”
The old man froze mid-step and turned around irritably.“What now? Don’t tell me you want another prediction!”
Su Wen scratched his cheek awkwardly.“Old man… we’re going to the clothes shop first.”
He gestured lightly toward Du Yue and Suzume.“These two love new clothes the most. We can’t have them walking around unhappy.”
Du Yue blinked, clearly startled.
Suzume puffed up proudly and chirped, flapping her wings as if she agreed wholeheartedly.
The old man looked down at his own patched, faded robe… then at the elegant clothes worn by Su Wen and Du Yue… and finally at Suzume’s glossy, immaculate feathers.
He squinted.“…Brat,” he said slowly,“are you mocking me?”
Su Wen immediately raised his hands in surrender.“Of course not, Grandteacher. I only meant I need to buy them clothes first.”
“Hmph!” The old man snorted, turning away.“Fine, fine. Go buy your clothes.”
He waved his hand magnanimously.“I shall accompany you, so you don’t get lost. You young people are always clueless without an elder guiding you.”