The Diary Series (#4) – Haruna

Entry #49

Dear Diary.

It's been a while.

I'm thinking of burning down the syndicate.

Maybe.

Ugh, I don't know what to do with all this frustration, and now I'm talking like a psychopath, haha. But so much has happened in these past three days that I haven't been able to write an entry for them, and now it's culminating into something that's definitely going to turn into a craazzyyyyy long spiel.

So bear with me.

Saturday was unbelievably fun, which it was supposed to be.

I met a Senpai, most likely the same redhead that Hina-tan was talking about, and even though she is suuuuper prickly and mean, I can tell she's not a bad person. But only because I saw how close she is with Reiji-tan, and he told me that she just needed some friends.

I want to be that friend for her, though I doubt she feels the same..... I'm not sure if we'd ever be able to get along, to be completely honest, since I have an inkling that she has an agenda against me.

But I'm not too sure why.

Like, I've never even met her before that day.

Her spiky nature aside, she was really funny, but in that unintentional way that makes it seem endearing instead of obnoxious, so the time we spent chatting was genuinely super fun.

I wonder if I should strike up a conversation if I ever meet her at school or wait until she gets more comfortable with me. Since she's friends with Reiji-tan, we'll meet fairly often, which means it's better to open up to her.

That aside, what happened next is what's making me so anxious and worried.

Reiji-tan had looked a little off throughout the day, and I found out he had a fever. I should never have fallen for his annoyingly persuasive words that he was fine, so when he collapsed later, after the Senpai had left, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

And when I found out about that wound....

I still remember that feeling of shock and horror, because I've never seen an injury like that in my life, especially not on someone close to me, which looked like it came from something sharp, like a knife.

It hurt.

I know the pain he was feeling was far worse, but it still hurt.

At the time, I felt that Reiji-tan probably didn't trust me, or maybe he thought we weren't close enough for him to reveal something like that.

But I know it's just because he doesn't want me to worry, nor be that aware of the things going on with his family.

It baffles me that his family thinks it's normal for stuff like this to happen!

Okay, maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe they are as worried and conflicted as I am, possibly even more.

Pfft, yeah right.

If they really were worried, they wouldn't have made him do stuff that gets him into danger. As far as I know, it's not like they're strapped for cash and have no choice but to involve him in shady business like this.

Even that wouldn't make it any better, but at least I'd somewhat understand it.

I sometimes wonder what the hell is going through their mind, and yet I know that lumping a Yakuza Boss into the same mindset as other people makes no sense. I heard on the news that they took out every other crime ring in the country and took over their business, so them caring about their family might be asking for too much.

Ughh, seeing him that pale and weak for two straight days was not easy.

Hopefully, he comes over tomorrow, because Granny has been just as worried as I am! Like, she's even prepared a first-aid kit and placed it in the living room, even though he isn't coming over until after the midterms end, haha.

But of course, that tsundere brushed me off and said that it's just because it's easier to access if one of us ever gets hurt.

Who is she trying to fool???

He did seem much better today, which was good, since the midterms have finally started. If he were that dazed during the exams, even he would end up flunking.

Speaking of the midterms, now I have another reason to make the Top 10, not that I didn't have enough motivation in the first place.

But that overconfident idiot accepted a ridiculous bet, and now I need to ace the midterms so that he doesn't have to lick his own foot.

It was already surprising enough that Riku-san, someone I used to consider a friend, thought so low of me. And now that Reiji-tan matched him, it's somehow my responsibility to prove him right....

I'm praying that no matter how it ends, the loser of the bet doesn't actually go through with recording such a video, because nobody wants to see such a disgusting sight.

I think?

Reiji-tan might actually do it if I don't make the Top 10, but I'm not so sure about Riku-san.

Either way, my job is to just do my best and let the results speak for themselves. The rest is not my problem.

So forgive me for being on edge, because these past few days have been far from easy, and even further from normality.

Anyway, it felt nice to vent, but I badly need some sleep....

***

Entry #50

Dear Diary,

When I said I might burn down the syndicate yesterday, I was joking.

But today, maybe I'm not?

I think I might have done the wrong thing by following Reiji-tan and that man called Keito. Now, all I can think of is the details of that story.

With barely any information, my imagination is running wild and coming up with different scenarios for how his entire 'assignment' played out.

Just how bad was that man's blackmail material? Did Reiji-tan really break his fingers like he said? Was that even necessary, or did he do it just in case? Has he done stuff like that before, and has he always been in the right, like in this case?

It's not that I'm doubting Reiji-tan, it's the exact opposite.

I can't imagine that man ever doing things like that willingly, and it's quite obvious that he was forced into it.

What I want to know is how bad these tasks are. I know he's been called over multiple times, so it's not a one-off instance.

So far, I know about two, no..... three different tasks.

Greeny-tan's family restaurant, the blackmailer, and the one that caused his wound.

The track record suggests that Reiji-tan's tasks are for the greater good, at least from the first two incidents.

I don't know anything about the third aside from the fact that he got hurt.

But the problem is, each of them has needed him to be violent.

Whether that's fighting or, for the lack of a better word, torturing.

God, I feel like a detective, trying to dissect his life from what little I know. Maybe I'm overthinking this, and it's not my place to even consider such things.

The main point is that he doesn't seem happy with what he's been doing.

Who would be?

He's 16 for fuck's sake, excuse my language, and having to do things like this should be left to the police!!

Do they not exist?

Why is a high schooler being forced into fights he has no interest in? And I'm sure that the fact that these tasks ended up being beneficial to the 'victims' was a coincidence.

Because the Yakuza were clearly hired by them in the two known examples, and the client being on the right side may not always be the case.

I had the urge to ask him details about this when he came over, but I couldn't spit those words out. Not after he trusted me enough to even explain why he met that man in the first place.

That shows he thought about me, and I don't want to overextend that by butting into his business.

So now I'm stuck on what to do.

All this thinking and pondering and musing, and yet there's not a single logical idea on how I can help him out.

I feel useless.

He's helped us out so much already, and apparently has plans to help us with the debt as well, and here I am writing stupid words in a stupid diary to vent about my stupid inability to do something when he's in trouble.

The best idea I've got is to ask the other gluttons for help, hoping that maaaaaybe they have a solution for this, even though that's less than likely.

But Reiji-tan hasn't told them about any of this for a reason.

I've already betrayed his trust by bringing them with me when I followed them and revealed his injury afterwards.

Would it be right to break it further, or would it be the logical thing to do since I've already broken it once?

I don't know.

Not yet.

I think I should wait to see if the others let him know that they saw him talking to the blackmailer or not. It didn't look like they're intending to keep it a secret, so tomorrow might yield some results.

I'll decide after that.

Because I'm tired.