Chapter 205 – Seeing My Mana

The rest of lunch was pretty tame. The Princess gave up on the war. I think Nesh also picked up that I didn't want to talk to her about my past, and she must not have cared about anything else, choosing to speak to Fluvis about the new ship for the rest of lunch.

Overall, it was a great waste of time, but the fish did taste good, and nobody cared that I ate the bones. Elora even snuck a few of hers onto my plate.

I kind of forgot about it since the brothel never had any meat. Not that I think bones taste that good; they just feel good going down. If they aren't too thick, I can also snap them, which is satisfying, but I wouldn't risk it here.

So, I cleared my plate easily while they talked about nonsense.

The Princess didn't watch Nesh leave, taking me right back to the bed. So, I guess she felt a little snubbed at lunch. Lottie was eyeing me a bit, but I would rather not talk to her in front of Nesh.

"Ok, sorry about lunch," the Princess says. "I, I don't know what that was. I'm sorry."

I'm wondering what the Princess had planned. After coming in, she's just pacing back and forth. I guess she's trying to hold back her tears.

"Um, should I try to abort the kids?" I ask. I would rather not, but it seems war will be bad if Elora is crying over it. Well, war is bad; a lot of stupid deaths and stuff.

"No, fuck her. Fuck that bitch, she can burst," Elora says, turning to me. "Nesh is normally nicer than that. I don't know why she just asked about your past and then ignored you. Suggesting you give up a kid is wrong. I thought she liked me. How did I even mess that up? No, it doesn't matter. I have to teach you how to judge your magic."

"We can just cuddle if you want," I offer. Elora failed to hold back her tears; that's the problem with all the rules those nobles create. It makes it too easy to be sneaky while being an ass. "We have at least one more day before reaching port."

"I can teach you while you are in my lap," she says. "If that is ok."

"Tail makes that a bit weird," I mention. "I could sit sideways."

The warrior practically dives into the bed, offering her thighs for me to sit on.

I shuffle over and into her strong embrace. I'm guessing more than just Nesh is troubling her now.

"Um, was it the first time you've been, you know," I ask.

"Yes. But I don't care. I just hate watching you go through it," Elora lies.

"No, it hurt you. Don't lie to me. I've been through it enough. The collar can take a bit of time to smooth the memories over. This is more than just Nesh right now," I say.

"It hurt, Alzi. I've been hurt before. I just hate that I failed to protect you. I promise," Elora says.

So be it. I tried, and you'll have to be happy with that, Isda.

"Thank you for asking about it. I was hoping that by taking you out of the brothel, all of that would be over for you. Yet, I had to watch it happen. I'll figure this all out and fight. You can just worry about you and the child. Our children. I will need a lead healer for my army. Will you do it?" Elora asks. "This is a great chance to build up your healing and get a better healing class next time around."

"Can I even say no?" I ask.

"Not really. Even Kelly will be conscripted to help. But if you say no, you would instead be under another, likely Oriphusa."

"Are you sure I should lead this? I don't know how to do that," I say. "Wouldn't that need knowing what supplies to get? How to heal without mana and knowing how to prioritize healing? I don't even know how to ration my healing correctly."

"Supplies and manaless healing will be handled by others. You can work alongside Oriphusa at the start, and when you've learned enough, I can give her to another army. I know you can learn this, my love," Elora says, the tears starting to disappear. "Yes, this would be a good chance for you to learn, save lives, and build to the classes you wish to have."

"I am willing to learn," I say.

"Thank you," Elora says, sniffling a bit. "I am sorry you have another hard pregnancy ahead of you. I was hoping your next pregnancy would be easy if you ever wished to get pregnant. But we are in this one together."

"Mana gauging," I say. She had the opportunity to get sappy earlier. She doesn't get to do it now. If I'll be working while pregnant yet again, I want to do it right.

"Yes, so there are two ways to do it. One is knowing how much mana each skill uses and learning how much mana you have. It is an old-school method that was used when everyone relied heavily on their skills and less on raw mana. You will be terrible with this due to how many different skills change how much mana you use to do things, and your mana amount changes quickly, so option two," Elora says. "You have to correctly estimate how much mana you have left and learn to understand how much is flowing out of you. After that, you'll naturally understand when you are low and when you need to cut off the flow. You can always stop a skill, but that is something to practice later if you have any skills that are difficult to stop. I don't think you do right now, so we will table that discussion."

"I can guess how much mana I have already," I say.

"No, you can't. Well, not to the level needed," Elora says. "You have a vast sea of mana in those breasts, and right now, you can tell the general level, but I can tell you the true depth of my sea. You would just give me the general level, only seeing it in stages."

"Details," I mutter.

"Yes, details are what separates a master from the rest," Elora says. "Now, to measure this, you need to have a clear view of your mana. Right now, your sense of it is foggy and there may even be waves in your sea tricking you. We want it to be calm and clear. This will also help you pull out the mana with your affinity from the pure mana. The first step is to close your eyes. For this, we will be melding our mana together, ok? It will be scary, but I will not hurt you, I promise. It will tire you out, and we will both be low on mana by the end of the day."

"Ok," I say. I'm her slave, so why does she need to warn me about that? Just do as you please, Princess.

"To get a better view of your mana, focus on your breasts beneath the soft flesh and milk ducts. Feel beneath the thin layer of fat and into the true depths," the Princess says. "Sorry, for the next few hours, ignore all my orders."

"Couldn't I kill you then?" I say. How far does she trust me?

"Yes, you could if you wished to, my love. I trust you won't, and even if I am wrong about that, what happens when Fluvis or Mother Nesh finds out? You will experience what true hell is, then. Unless you plan to kill yourself immediately after killing me," Elora says. She's stupid to think I wouldn't kill her, but I have nowhere to go after this. "Close your eyes and focus."

I follow along since I do need to learn this. But I enjoy taking my time following her commands. There's a strange peace from losing my restrictions. Getting to call the Princess a fucking bitch without that strange filter covering the words.

But my breasts. Inside is a haze of green bubbling up.

"Now, this will sound dumb, but it works. It is your mana. Not the world's mana. It belongs to you and should obey your will. Demand your mana to show itself to you, to clear the fog and let you see what is rightfully yours," Elora whispers. "I will start to meld our mana so I can help, ok, dear? You'll see what my mana looks like, and I'll see yours."

"No," I say. My mana shakes as I make my demands. Something beneath the surface refuses to settle down for me. Would it hurt the Princess?

"Alzi, I won't reveal a thing about your mana, ok? You get to see mine," Elora says. "Ok?"

"It is bubbling."

"You have the standard royal dragon affinity as your second, just like I have my line's royal affinity as my second affinity," Elora says. "You can get it to calm down. Just will it. The magma will learn who owns it quickly. Can you let me in?"

"Ok, ok."

The bubbling lowers but won't stop. Instead, a strange white sea, with a thin film of red over it, appears to the side.

"Your mana is angry," Elora says. "Don't worry, Alzi will soon find you, magma. But you need to work with your master."

Whatever she is talking to doesn't agree. My mana is fighting to keep me from seeing clearly into my depths. I can see Elora's vast pool.

"Don't make it jealous, love," Elora says. "Settle yours, then compare."

"Ok, ok," I say. "But this stuff doesn't like me."

"It likes you. Only idiots and fools hate you, and your mana is neither. It just needs a stern talking to," Elora promises.

"Settle down," I say.

"More than that. Put the dragon into it."

"Um. Clear up, or or or."

"Dear, that won't convince anyone."

"Fine. Clear up, or I won't get any more bitches pregnant!"

Well, that did something. Something closer to an eruption. I swear my breasts jiggled due to the reaction of my magma bursting through my vast life mana.

"Oh, so it isn't even the life mana that wants to get women pregnant? Well, deal with it, then. Here I am in the lap of a princess, and if you keep this up, this will be her last child."

One last geyser goes up, flipping the order of mana for a bit. But eventually, the magma settles and clears out of the way, letting me see my own mana as clearly as Elora's. The levels for both of us draining quickly.

"Strange way of doing it, but if it works, it works. Now, you just need to measure the drops as you use your mana. You'll still need to understand how much mana each skill uses, but not to the level the old method requires."