The Goated Lunch
Shoutout to Lewd Hina~!
***
“Ok, everything looks fine,” Yuuko smiles in exhaustion. She almost forgot the sensation of a customer rush in the last week. But the crowd did whittle away eventually. Nik smiles while restocking the nearest shelf. She places his documents on the counter after confirming the details with Genta on a call before speaking, “Nik, sorry about this morning. Yakima-san can be a little overbearing, but he means well.”
“I don’t mind,” Nik shrugs, looking back at her, “Anyone would be a little cautious after comparing the difference from before.”
“Not Souma-san,” Yuuko mutters as she recalls the Mother-daughter trio’s visit around eleven. “Are you not from around here? You should have a home, right?”
“I ran away,” Nik chuckles. “Not that they would bother looking for me. I was kind of a black sheep in my family.”
Yuuko nods as Nik adds, “Can you keep the ID and other papers inside the counter? This outfit doesn’t have pockets.”
The coffee-haired brunette nods and does so as she continues curiously, “Now that you can speak freely… do you plan on staying here? Your education in Business Management should get you better jobs.”
“And lose my daily dinner?” Nik scoffs, knowing nothing about the requirements of earning said ‘genuine’ degree. “Besides, I like wearing different outfits.”
“So, you’re into cosplaying?” Yuuko leans a little on the counter.
“Sure,” Nik nods.
“Any preferences?” Yuuko blinks.
“Women.”
“What?” Yuuko blinks as Nik looks at her.
“What?” He questions. “You asked for my preferences.”
“I mean in cosplaying!” Yuuko huffs.
“Oh,” Nik shrugs. “Anything is fine as long as I’m not completely naked.”
Yuuko rolls her eyes before settling. She only speaks once Nik completes the restocking, “Let’s discuss your salary.”
“Sure,” Nik smiles with as much charm as he can fork out, “And it will include the perks of being the greatest attraction for the store, right? Like the perk of my gracious employer wearing the feminine versions of my outfits to show others a good leader leads with a great example.”
Yuuko thins her lips, resisting the urge to avert her gaze and look at his lips, if not his eyes, before grumbling, “I liked the hard-working and silent Nik from before. Maybe Yakima-san was right.”
“Maybe Yakima-san isn’t interested in books and would agree with the idea of you wearing an outfit similar to mine,” Nik shrugs with whimsy, chortling, “And the other perks should include daily lunch, too. I’m famished!”
Yuuko sighs as she starts discussing his salary. While Nik is unaware of the currency’s value for now, he certainly acts like he understands every word Yuuko says. And she doesn’t give him any reason to suspect her since she goes as far as recommending a good and cheap apartment nearby the shopping district with a good landlord apparently—whatever a ‘good’ landlord really means since Nik never met one in two of his lives!
---
Kurumi and Megumi stare at the ‘close’ sign hanging from the store’s door before looking at each other.
“Nik probably isn’t here,” Megumi asserts while Kurumi calmly rings the bell as the former frowns. But before she can say anything, a delivery man dressed in a black uniform and a red cap stops his motorcycle beside them before glancing at the duo. The youth’s expression brightens, and when the two feel the delivery man will try to hit on them, he hurriedly pulls a large bag and questions, “Do you live here?”
Megumi nods absent-mindedly as he almost squeaks in joy, “Great! Here, take this. Let me capture the image. I’m tired of looking at that foreigner over and again. How can someone stay so fit after eating that much?!”
He doesn’t wait for Megumi’s response as he shoves the heavy delivery into her arms before clipping a picture from his smartphone and taking off, grumbling all the while with evident envy as he glances at the door before scowling, leaving the two girls confused as they had their backs to the door the entire time.
“Oh, great! Burgers are here~!”
The excited voice jolts the two as they look back, seeing an elaborately dressed Nik smiling at them. His topknot, royal accessories, and royal outfit send them into a daze as he takes the package from Megumi’s hand and turns on his heels, humming, “Could you guys close the door? Thanks. Heh! Yuuko should have never told me about HFC. This stuff’s amazing! They will love it~!”
Megumi and Kurumi follow Nik. Their gazes roam his form, and their eyes widen further when they enter Amano Household’s living room, finding a sweating, exhausted Yuuko lying on her back with a satisfied expression. A heavy aroma saturates the living room, rolls of tissue paper litter the area, and she hums aloud when Nik enters, “You’re insatiable, Nik. A man should know when to stop, but you just keep going!”
“Guilty,” Nik giggles and sits on the other side of the low table while Megumi and Kurumi watch the situation in a daze.
“Did you order a day’s worth of HFC stock? It’s suffocating in here!” Megumi’s loud voice wakes Yuuko from her dream-like half nap and awake state, where she can enjoy the hormonal bliss of napping without truly sleeping due to a full stomach.
“Ah, Megumi? You’re back. Wait, what time is it?” Yuuko quickly questions as Nik opens the package and retrieves a wrapped burger before taking out a milkshake.
“Way past your usual afternoon nap,” Megumi scoffs before pouting and blushing as she looks in Nik’s direction, “Did you order something for me?”
He blinks as Yuuko gasps in panic, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Nik looks at the package that clearly holds a lot of burgers and shakes before glancing between Yuuko and Megumi.
“You were not sleeping, Yuuko-san. And Megumi, I didn’t order anything for you.”
“But there is so much there,” Megumi frowns. “Eating all that is bad for your health. Did you order fries?”
“I was clearly out of commission after the second burger! You should have woken me up!” Yuuko complains alongside her daughter.
“I can’t keep on replying to you both at once. Besides, you shouldn’t have taught me how to order the same thing from your smartphone. I would have woken you up otherwise,” Nik sighs. It’s true. Their lunch comes from a great fast food chain Nik had no idea existed. And his first act of learning about the smartphone is unlocking the screen with a vertical slide of his finger, touching an ‘application,’ then the food that looks the most delicious, and confirming the order as an ‘app-wallet’ will mysteriously pay for their food! It’s crazy!
“Can we leave for shopping?” Kurumi huffs, not the least bit amused by the situation, as Nik somehow comes across as the most elegant one in the room while stuffing his face full and gulping down the grease.
“Sure. Let me finish these,” Nik grins, taking a deep sip from the straw of his milkshake as Megumi looks at him silently.
“I’m going to open the shop,” Yuuko huffs, standing up, “And remind me never to offer you fast food for lunch. I thought you’d feel filled after two burgers and some fries!”
Kurumi and Megumi look at the crumpled burger wrappers around the table, counting nine of them, seven empty cups of milkshake, and eleven french fries containers. They glance at Nik again in horror as Kurumi questions, “Did you honestly eat all of that?!”
“I let myself go,” Nik snickers as he stifles a burp. “I know it’s all unhealthy stuff, but it’s not like I will order them constantly. Besides, I felt ‘light’ after finishing all that. So I thought I could eat a little more.”
“You should stop,” Megumi puts her schoolbag down before frowning with worry. “It’s really unhealthy.”
Nik thins his lips before looking at the rest of the four burgers and three milkshakes in the package. He didn’t order fries this time since they felt bland and ‘chewy’ compared to the great invention that is the burgers.
“Fine, I won’t order after these.” He admits reluctantly, realizing he cannot do shit before learning how to use smartphones.
‘Or I could go there myself,’ Nik thinks of another way instantly. ‘Heck, I can learn how they make these burgers and liberate some of the utensils from their establishment!’
It’s not stealing for him if he uses it to feed the masses inside his Personal World, right? The Great Plunderer Nik can never steal anything!
“So, you are still going to eat that all alone?” Megumi frowns harshly, sitting beside Nik as she pulls a burger and sniffs it, gasping, “Double Decker Big Hac?”
“You can eat one if you like it so much,” Nik shrugs in the end, patting his free side for Kurumi, “Do you want one, too?”
“No thanks, I like looking out for my weight.” The honey-eyed pouty girl shrugs and sits beside him as Megumi snorts, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re a cow.”
Nik calmly sips his milkshake before choking on it as Kurumi grunts bluntly.
“What?!” Megumi’s eyes widen as her cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I’m no cow! You- you’re a-”
“What?” Kurumi sneers.
“My mom taught me better than to insult others!” Megumi unwraps the burger and bites it while Kurumi frowns and retorts, “And you think my mom is any worse?” She eyes Nik’s milkshake for a while as he offers a sip, something she accepts with a delighted expression despite Megumi’s flush deepening at the apparent ‘intimacy.’
“I think you can eat a few of these burgers without issues, both of you,” Nik half shrugs as he finishes the meal in his hand before taking out another one. “You look great.” He addresses idly and hums, “And it’s not like you need a strict diet, right?”
Kurumi glances at Megumi smugly as the latter lowers her head while slowly chewing on the meat delight. “Well,” she mutters, “My Club advisor would get mad if he knew I ate junk food. But don’t get me wrong!” She looks up with a snap, explaining sincerely, “I haven’t touched a thing in a long time! I’m training as hard as it takes to win the National Tournament!”
“Kendo,” Nik blinks. “The wooden sword?”
“How long have you been here not to know about Kendo?” Kurumi frowns before recalling their time in the morning and huffing quietly. She would like to know more about Nik, but it’s not like she can force him, right?
‘Can I?’ She thinks of a way suited to someone like her before admitting Nik outclasses her in ‘those’ departments by a grave margin!
“It’s a practice of swordsmanship in specific rules and conditions,” Megumi explains while guiltily feeding herself some delicious meat. “I could get into Tokyo University on a sports scholarship by ace-ing the tournament.”
Nik nods quietly, “Good luck. Here, I will take that burger off your hands then.”
“No need,” Megumi pouts, taking a deep bite out of the treat before glaring at Nik, “And you should focus on your diet even if you can eat a lot! Muscles like yours aren’t just a work of drugs but hard work, too! Don’t waste your gains!”
Nik huffs in exhaustion.
‘How natural can I get?’ He grunts internally. ‘All I took was a Primordial Spirit and spiritual evolution of a Bloodline.’
“Well, keep eating like this,” Kurumi smirks. “Maybe you will win the competition by sitting on your opponent.”
Megumi’s body freezes in the process of taking another bite from the burger before she scoffs and shoots back, “Fine, I will! You should join me. What’s the point of dieting if there is no one lining to stuff your shoe locker with letters!”
Kurumi’s lips part in shock as she hurriedly looks at Nik, finding him undeterred in his quest to fulfill the destiny of devouring the last burger before leaving for their apartment shopping.
“What can I do if Shou is into cows? Besides, I don’t care about him anymore and have moved to do better things!”
Megumi’s brows twitch as she stares at Nik suspiciously, whose gaze swims between the girls before he takes one lasting sip from the last milkshake. “Good stuff! Let me clean this, and we can leave. I already discussed my leave for the rest of the evening with Yuuko-san since finding a place to stay is important. She already told me about an apartment block nearby.”
“Oh,” Megumi perks, “Do you mean Okita-san’s building?”
Nik nods.
Megumi quietly eats until Nik collects all the trash and leaves for the kitchen to throw away before snapping at Kurumi, “Seriously! What is your problem?”
“What did I do?” Kurumi tilts her head.
“What didn’t you do?” Megumi scoffs. “How many times do you need me to tell you I don’t care about Nuzui Shou? He is the one nagging me, interrupting my practice sometime during club hours! I should be practicing today, but I left earlier because I saw him lurking around the dojo!”
“How is that my problem?” Kurumi snorts. “Go beat him with your stick.”
“It’s a bokken!”
“Did I ask?”
Megumi clenches her fist, chewing the last of the burger and crumpling the wrapper in her hands.
“Did you think I didn’t know how you happened to fall on him?” Kurumi snaps back, ending Megumi’s rant as she continues, “You’re a bit of a legend in our schools when it comes to experiencing all sorts of weird accidents! I saw you doing the same thing with Nik today!”
“I don’t do that on purpose!” Megumi grits her teeth, unhappy by the implications Kurumi is trying to pin on her head. “And what’s it to you? Are you afraid someone might leave you again?” It’s not beneath both the girls to use verbal uppercuts to destroy each other after knowing one other for almost three years in High School!
Kurumi’s nostrils flare in anger as Nik quietly slips past them through the hall after changing his clothes. There’s no way he intends to step into their conflict without a reason to do so. He’s a bit of a daredevil to look for Primordials and gain their essence, but not stupid enough to jump into a heated debate where he stands to gain nothing but annoy both the parties for his interference.
“Nik would never do that!”
“Then you have no reason to act all pissy ‘round me!”
“I don’t!” Kurumi snorts and glares at Megumi when the latter leans back with a huff and a ‘positive’ momentum of her breasts.
‘Damn,’ Kurumi chews her lips in frustration. ‘If fat is stored in our bodies based on genetics, why did it have to be her, mom, Sayoko, and Souko who store theirs in their breasts and butt?! It should have been me!’
Her source of frustration around Megumi developed from the anger of her former partner leaving her. But the truth is: Kurumi’s urge to get back at Shou wasn’t nearly as great as she led Nik to believe as her frustrations settled around Megumi’s less-than-humble curves that she displays in her moments of defenseless ‘accidents.’
“What?” Megumi scowls, irked by Kurumi’s stare. The latter looks away, grumbling, “Nothing. And if that idiot bothers you, just beat him. He likes prancing around as the strongest and scariest Karate Club member. But do you truly believe he is the strongest if he has time to date and lurks around your dojo?” Kurumi spills many secrets at once—except for the things behind closed doors—she is not a monster.
“Just tell him to defeat Shiroshi Saru in the next two days, or he has to stop bothering you. That’ll shut him real nice. Shou is scared of Saru despite Saru being a first-year.”
Megumi blinks in surprise.
‘Am I seeing this right? She is trying to help me and not insult me.’
Now it’s Kurumi’s turn to feel irked as she questions, “What?”
“Nothing,” Megumi smiles sincerely, her teal irides flickering with a sense of forgiveness. “I didn’t think you had the capacity to help others.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“It means I misunderstood you,” Megumi scratches the back of her head, smirking, “I’m sorry for the things I said.”
“Well.” Kurumi sighs, her scowl giving way to a genuine smile as she feels a bit of her frustration melting away at Megumi’s act of kindness and forgiveness. “I’m not, cow tits.”
“Cow t-t-” Megumi stammers as Kurumi stands quickly, smirking condescendingly, “I’ll wait for Nik outside. I think my test scores will drop by staying another second near you.”
“I take it all back!”
Kurumi hears Megumi shout as she walks down the hallway, finding Nik flipping pages of a book about skeletons and other fossils.
“Let’s go~!” Kurumi trills with a refreshed expression as she hugs Nik’s hand. Yuuko chuckles wryly, “Did you girls sort your issues out?”
“Mostly,” Kurumi smiles widely. “I even apologized to Megumi for most of the things.”
Yuuko nods with a relieved expression as Megumi begs to FUCKING differ!
***
Alternative Title: Grounded Pettiness; Megumi’s Jojo Moment; The Hentai Fried Chicken—HFC; Meat So Delicious It Stains Your Wife’s Mouth—HFC Probably; Becoming Part of The Legal System; Nik: Yes, I Do Have a Degree In Business Management. Would You Like Advice In The Creation, Production, and Management Of a Hare- ehm, Business?; Kurumi: No, Big Co Girl Tits Should Be Me!; Yuuko and Megumi Love Dem Hentai Meat; The Odd Scene In The Living Room; Yuuko’s Bliss; Nik Making The Meat Supplier Jealous; A Good Landlord? *Thanos: Impossible*; Megumi and Kurumi Trading Oral Blows; Kurumi Lies as Easily as She Breathes; The Anger And Manipulation Issue Is Strong With Kurumi!; Kurumi Would Never Spill Inches of Secret!; Kurumi And The Chamber of Secrets; Megumi To Nik: Relinquish That Filling Meat, It Belongs In My Mouth. *Unzips*; Yuuko: What Are Your Preferences. Nik: You. In a Costume. *Yuuko’s Brain Cells Nuke*; The Cosplaying Corruption; Nik Got The Best Motivation To Learn About Smartphones: Food!
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