One Last Regret (3)
“Was that not an illusion?” Nik cuts to the chase and questions. His expression did not betray any emotion, even if the unending darkness made him uneasy.
The same voice replies to him.
“No, it wasn’t. It was an isolated reality where you lived as your echo. It’s a plane of emotion controlled by me, and the other primordials like me spanned different realities in this living plane.”
Nik understood jackshit, but that did not stop him.
“And you’re just handing me the answers on a silver platter?”
“Does your situation feel like the one on a silver platter?”
He grows silent for a while.
“Why?” He questions.
“Consider this treatment a gift from one of my parents—Death.”
“Death… again, why?”
The darkness around him returns to silence. This period of silence continues for almost four minutes before Regret voices out.
“Regret is born when death meets identity. My mother—Mother of Faces—may not have any love for you, but both my parents respect your actions enough. Don’t be mistaken. My half-siblings—Reaper and Grim—had it coming, so I hold you no ill will, either. My act upon Avatar Aang is a test. It means: he has a way out. But not your group who fell in regret of their actions.”
“You’re the one who did all this. How is this any appreciation toward my achievements?” Nik frowns.
“You think I gave you regret? Am I the one who regrets not killing those triplets? Am I the one regretting talking down on my lonely mother, who only started to enjoy herself a little bit? Or am I the one who sacrificed what I loved doing the most for my youngest sibling only to watch her grow to hate us because the other five siblings of mine and I regretted ever giving it up?”
Nik reigns his silence. It is true. Deep within him isn’t regret of dying, but not acting against Esta and her customers more. And that’s what he did the moment he got a chance. He killed the triplets who used to brand his flesh, cut his toes, and torment him in various manners until he called their names right.
“So… was that the same Esta?”
“Your echo is the same in that plane as in this.”
“How was she so powerful? I never…” Nik thins his lips.
“Because she may be powerful in this life, too?”
“A primordial like you cannot sense her?”
“She isn’t in the same realm as ours. And even if I tried… a cover of vast might protects her, the hint of which is also present on you, Traveler Nik.”
Nik sighs softly and returns to the point.
“So, why are we being punished for our regrets?”
“Regret is only a punishment if you let it rot you.”
“You say as if you aren’t controlling their memories. You tried to control mine, so you definitely tried to control theirs.”
Regret’s chuckles echo in the empty space as Nik continues.
“So they are mostly being punished, no?”
“A spirit cannot let go of its nature. I am a trial by very birth. When Mother of Faces felt anguished at the demise of her creation, she challenged Death to procure safety for her creation. In return, Death gave Mother a trial.
It said—Find me the one of flesh and blood not affected by death, and I shall grant the same curse to all your creations.
And so, the Mother began to search for such a creation. In its failure to locate such a being, Mother decided to create such a form of flesh and blood. However, Mother regretted her actions soon after. In its quest to grant her creation freedom from Death, Mother of Faces forgot the sin of immortal flesh. What she created was the first monster known to humankind. Its shell is harder than the core of the planet. Its life is beyond many young spirits. The first Lion Turtle to ever exist condemned his creator for his birth. Even to this day, the Lion Turtle roams the living land in search of death as all his descendants have turned to the comfort of death.”
Regret takes a moment to let Nik understand every bit of it.
“I am birthed from the trial of demise and regret of the creator. It is in my nature to do what I am doing.”
“You said you left Aang a way out.”
“Only because all others failed. It is upto the Avatar to either be the master of his emotions or let go of his regrets. But I wouldn’t worry about him. I’m not the only one who will issue him trials. He has six more.”
“Could you explain it clearly?” Nik inquired while letting go of the majority of his hostility. Spirits are like addicts to their nature. Just take Mokshi as an example. It starved to leave this world from the day of its birth, going as far as confining itself to mortal flesh just to leave. In Mokshi’s eyes, it is freedom despite the human prison.
“I won’t. You just have to understand that Avatar Aang’s current pool of possibilities rid him of a great monk as a teacher to help him master his Avatar State. Until now, Aang has asked for his predecessor’s help, and they assisted understandably. But that reason is dead. It is left upon us spirits to aid Raava and the boy to attune themselves with each other.”
Nik contemplates for a whole minute.
“And my friends?”
“Some of them are either indifferent enough or tolerant enough not to regret their actions in any form. At the very least, they are at peace. It will be upto them to free you and your friends from this shackle of regret.”
“Any names?” Nik smiles to himself.
“The one called Sokka, Jin, Azula, Yue, and Suki. Believe it or not, Avatar Aang’s aid were a few stormbenders who came to respect the avatar. But they all failed.”
While not thrilled with the idea that Ursa’s impish daughter would be one of the minds to decide his fate, Nik manages to sigh and relaxes.
“So, to get this straight. Ursa, Kya, Katara, the Ty Sisters, and I are held here for our emotional issues. The ones who can help us out are those great minds. That seems appropriate. Why should my trips NOT be filled with spiritually charged life sentences? I need to vent. You said our minds travel to our ‘echoes’ in another plane, right? It means I killed the triplets in reality.”
Regret notices something amiss. But then again, it should have accepted this would be the price of not controlling Nik’s mind completely.
“Yes, for all it’s worth, I am blessed by Red Thread of Fate to ferry the minds of my trial takers through the pool of possibility beyond our time and let them encounter things they couldn’t in their current lifetime. Would you like to see what ails the hearts of your friends?”
Nik shakes his head without skipping a beat.
“No. No way I’m cheating like this after trying so hard to understand them. Just send me back. I don’t like killing, but something about squeezing the last breath out of Ishra and caving Aphrotra’s skull is… damn cathartic.”
Regret sighs to itself. It may keep Nik here, but the inability to control Nik’s mind and to truly fuel his hate and regret only made this an actual vacation that Nik is looking forward to.
Nik’s eyes exude a harsh violet glow in this expanse of darkness. For the first time, Nik’s emotions infect Mokshi instead of the other way around, bringing them one step closer to understanding each other.
---
“What do you mean a trial?” Suki questions the moment the dark, hooded specter perched atop a small rock gives them a ray of hope. At the spirit’s behest, Sokka had to go and bring others while also carrying the bodies of their friends near the temple for safety.
“Answer my riddles correctly, and you will free your beloved. If not, you will be blinded by the vast darkness between the planes of reality.”
“Hold up!” Sokka frowns, “Why are you treating us differently? You said Aang is on his own but has a way out, and then he can free others on the island who fell to your wickedness. Why is it that the same is not true for us? What if Nik figures a way out?”
“He doesn’t want to.” Regret chuckles.
“What?” Yue frowns. That doesn’t sound like Nik at all. He has always tried to overcome his circumstances in one way or the other.
“He likes what he sees. For some reason, he trusts in your ability… and for that very reason, I suppose, he is not thrilled by the idea of leaving his regrets unanswered. He will await your rescue.”
“Or?” Azula crosses her arms. “Spirits usually leave a choice, don’t they?”
“No. There is no ‘or.’ Sometimes there is only regret,” the spirit replies which makes the expressions of the group drop.
Jin is feeling more than anxious now.
But others have faced some spirits one way or the other.
“What’s the riddle? Am I right to assume one correct answer for one person?” Sokka questions.
“No, you are incorrect. The septuplets share one regret in a different form. Your mother and sister are the same. They need one correct answer to free them.”
“Good. Let’s start.”
Regret chuckles coldly.
The consequences of failing the trial of riddles are already known, so Regret points at Jin with its shadowy index finger.
“You will start.”
“Huh?” Jin squeaks and shrinks in on herself. “Why me? I’m not good with this type of stuff!”
“Are you giving up?” Regret chuckles, “Can you live with yourself to letting your beloved fester in his hate? Nik is willingly drowning in hatred. He has taken the same three lives 18 times already. Do you think he will be the same?”
Jin flinches in shock. She couldn’t imagine Nik enjoying killing. He has never been like that. The moment she imagines her being the cause of him changing forever, a tinge of fear and regret blooms in her for her mental weakness.
Shocking others, Jin’s body collapses to the ground.
“Jin!” Azula reaches out for her companion before glaring at the spirit and snarling, “What did you do?”
Regret calmly regards the hostile group.
“Face-stealer Koh is my sibling, Chieftain Sokka. You, of everyone present, should know what this means, right?”
Sokka’s lips part open in surprise as he instantly forms a theory.
“Even if we didn’t regret before, it doesn’t mean we won’t now. Koh could steal the faces of others for any degree of change in expression. Then you… must be able to affect us for any degree of regret we might feel.”
Regret nods in approval.
“Very good. I do not bear you ill will, mortals. But you are in a trial. As I said, sometimes, the end of the tunnel leads to me alone. Steel your hearts. If not for your cared ones, then for yourself.”
---
Cold arctic winds blow at night as Katara returns to her igloo where her mother is already waiting. It has been years since her father left for the war with her brother, and they haven’t heard any news. With her grandmother dying in one of the previous raids, Katara only has her mother.
While it would have been hard to care for the village with just women, her gifts as a waterbender came into play. Katara developed herself through any means possible to use waterbending to bring food to the village and support other single mothers in any way possible.
“Here, you must be exhausted,” Kya thins her lips and looks a little frustrated as she helps Katara out of her coat and sits down.
“You weren’t injured, right?” Kya’s gaze falls over her daughter as the young woman rolls her eyes and smiles back.
“Relax, Mom!” Katara huffs and accepts the bowl of broth from Kya before taking a long sip.
“Aaah!” She exhales warmly and leans back in relaxation.
After a while, as the mother-daughter duo nurses their bowls of broth, Kya whispers.
“I know you don’t want to hear about this, but… the village on the western coast sent another messenger.”
“I’m not marrying anyone!” Katara scowls and interjects. Ever since the duration of their village’s men’s stay in the war increased, the men from other settlements began to offer hands in marriages.
Of course, all the other villages sent their men away, too.
The current generation of men were boys that failed to meet the cut for acceptance due to their age. And being one of the best providers for the settlement, Katara was sought by many of these young men.
“This time…” Kya sighs, “One of the men actually wanted our hands in marriage. You know, me and some other women?”
“Huh?” Katara looks at her mother with a dumb expression.
“Really?” She voices out. “Why?”
Kya shrugs and replies, “I wouldn’t know. Maybe an acquired taste of that young man.”
The mother-daughter duo did not hide many things since they confided in each other about many things starting with Katara admitting to a few of her girlish fantasies, such as marrying the toughest bender out there.
“That’s stupid. Can a man really even spend nights with so many women at once?” Katara scoffs openly. Years of struggling in the wild to develop her waterbending drove her no less rough and tumble when compared to the warriors of the other villages.
“Maybe in your eyes, it's stupid.” Kya smiles and shakes her head again. “But a few women are considering their options. They want children to grow in the presence of a warrior, so expect a few to leave the settlement in a week or two.”
Katara slows down when she hears this revelation.
“I see.”
The woman accepts sourly and continues, “If Sokka had stayed back, he wouldn’t have let any of them leave.”
“It’s not your fault, Katara. There hasn’t been any news about the end of the war, and some people can feel desolate, too. It’s not like they aren’t hurting.”
Kya pats her daughter’s legs to console the girl.
“It’s just,” Katara begins, “unfair. There are men out there fighting for them, but they lose their faith just because they don’t hear anything back here. I get that it is frustrating! But the least others can do is, be loyal!”
Kya furrows her brows for a moment, something Katara notices.
“What?” The prodigious waterbender questions.
“Nothing,” Kya shakes her head, “Why don’t you rest? I know you’re excessively exhausted. So—”
“No, if you have something to say, just say it,” Katara interjects with a frown. “Do you really believe I’m wrong? Do you think that this is not disloyal?”
Kya stares at her daughter for a full moment before smiling sadly.
“It’s not about right or wrong. It’s just war, Katara. Your grandmother waited for your grandad to return, but he never did return. Many other women like your grandmother raised the mothers of today. I think… the rest do not want to wait for false hope.”
“Father and Sokka will return!”
“I don’t doubt that.”
Katara gnashes her teeth in frustration. “You say that, but are you like others, too? Do you really think this is false hope?”
Kya sighs softly.
“Go to sleep, Katara—”
“I cannot believe you!” Katara stands up promptly with a shout and glares down at her mother.
“So, what? In a few years, you’re going to accept another man? Huh? If you really think this is false hope, why don’t you just marry someone else now?”
Kya stands up with a frown and bites back a hiss. “Katara. That is quite enough. You are tired, truly. First, sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow when you’re feeling better.”
Katara chews her lips in equal part outrage and frustration.
She continues to glare at her mother before uttering, “I should have gone with Sokka before hearing—”
*Slap*
Kya strikes Katara with a swift slap that stung both of them emotionally and physically.
While Katara’s face hurt and the pain fueled her anger, Kya’s wrist couldn’t hurt more than her heart when she met her daughter’s cold glare.
Before Kya could even regret something she did out of her maternal instincts—nothing more than a reflex—Katara hisses softly.
“Better yet, marry someone now and leave. Like others. Less mouth to feed for me. Less disloyal ones, at least!”
Not waiting for her mother’s reply, Katara dons her coat and leaves the igloo.
“Sigh…” Kya works her jaws as she sits again. The silence bears down on her heavily.
She would never be with another man as long as her husband exists, but Katara’s words tore open the memories of weakness Kya endured in silence during her lonesome. It’s a torment in its own—solitude. Not everyone is born strong enough to accept their weight. Years of silence. If she didn’t have Katara, Kya would bore death as a better outcome than the torturous solitude.
‘Huh?’
Kya feels nauseous and has a sense of deja vu.
As if there is a reason why she finds such solitude distasteful.
But it is overshadowed by the pain of her daughter’s words.
A cold sob snivels its way out as the woman trembles and hugs herself. It’s not long after Kya hears loud shouts of her friends as their settlement’s peace is disrupted.
Katara finds the arctic wind as pleasant as an autumn breeze if she concentrates on her strength. Deciding to take a long hike to clear her mind, Katara finds herself petting an otter penguin.
But what do you know?
Even animals have parents, and this little penguin’s parent cries out softly before the little one leaves Katara’s hand.
‘I was way out of the life…’ Katara admits she let her frustration get the better of her emotions. But helping out a small village was a task more monumental than she could imagine. And it got to her nerves tonight.
“I’ll apologize tomorrow morning. It’ll be the first thing I do.”
Katara sighs and chooses to return.
Kya would be asleep by now, so slipping inside the igloo to rest wouldn’t be hard.
But the distant fire burning despite the arctic wind makes Katara’s heart thump in fear.
‘Oh, no! No. No, No, NO!’
Katara races towards her village—destroyed village, to be exact. Burnt corpses of different sizes line the center of the settlement. The second she nears the village, Katara does not register a score of firebenders who have already noticed her, nor does she glance at one regal-looking warrior with his hands behind his back.
No.
She stares at the corpse of her mother. Despite the gruesome stab wounds, there is no denying it.
It is Kya.
Katara controls the ice around her with red eyes. Her intent to kill her enemies is as clear as the summer day.
But what can one lone self-taught prodigy do against the score of elite warriors who arrived to end the last of the waterbender they heard frolicking at the south pole?
The regal prince—Zuko—smirks condescendingly and waves his hand.
“Kill her. We have wasted enough time.”
And Katara finds herself in the same darkness all over again.
She isn’t alone.
Kya would await her every time.
But before the two could speak to each other and end their torment of regret—before they could accept their weaknesses to each other—they would be plunged back into the same nightmare again.
---
Meanwhile, a dark specter stares at Suki.
“You won’t rouse any regret within me.” Suki narrows her eyes as she is the one chosen next.
“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” Regret chuckles and admits that some battle-hardened warriors can control their emotions very well.
But this wasn’t about their emotions.
Suki needs to get the answer right, too.
After a brief moment of silence, Regret speaks.
“What is moon’s equal but seven times its size?”
Suki blinks in surprise while Yue’s eyes widen.
“What is moon’s equal but seven times its size?” Suki ponders under her breath.
“It’s Tui!” Yue whispers, and Regret chuckles.
“Very good!”
Both Suki and Yue collapse to the ground.
“Hey!” Sokka growls.
“I assure you that it was implied only the ones whom I riddle must answer. Cheaters are punished, no?”
Sokka and Azula glare at the spirit.
Not affected by their emotions, Regret chuckles, “Alright, next will be the Chieftain.”
***
Alternate Title: A Different Nik; Killing Source of Regret; Not a Punishment But a Vacation; Steeping in Hate; Jin’s Momentary Lapse; Sometimes There is No Hope; One’s Nature at Birth; Katara and Kya’s Spat; A Fight Before the End; When Regret Sets In; There is no Tomorrow to Apologize; Zuko loving his Villain Arc; Punishments for the Cheater; Easy Bait
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