8: In Pursuit of Diligence
A long breath streamed out Kana's nose as she seated herself against the temple courtyard's stairs. For a while now, a slight grimace had tautened her face. Rays of sunrise once again crept up and pierced through the mists obscuring the horizon.
There was no physical need to stabilize her breathing, but the action was still helpful. Reflexive, even, from her days meditating in captivity.
The austere landscape around the temple had been rendered even more desolate. For hundreds of meters around, the hardy rock formations were upturned and shattered, pockmarked with remnants of elemental jutsu. Products of her endeavors that left a telling sign of the prowess she had attained. Sparks still crackled amid pools of water, pulverized stone, and melted rock.
The five basic elements were truly at her command. Her affinity for them surely qualified as some form of mastery. Utterly enormous chakra reserves complemented this, for even after so many successive uses she never neared exhaustion. If the level from her days in captivity was any indicator, she possessed a total amount greater than several dozen trained adult shinobi.
As time wore on and to distract from her creeping anxieties, she had allowed a single-minded focus to consume her attentions until she was satisfied with her progress. Implementing what she had studied before and going further beyond, she proceeded relentlessly. For jutsu after jutsu, analyzing power outputs, control precision, and nature transformations.
Adjustment after adjustment, inspiration after inspiration, aspect after aspect. Only grinding through the vague feelings she found within and replacing them with real experience would grant concrete understanding. Understanding that would allow her to take a confident hold over her power.
A hold she felt she had now grasped in some way. Even if it was just the very bottom rung of the ladder of knowledge awaiting, every journey had to begin somewhere.
She had needed to feel that sense of control—and she had garnered some inklings—but perhaps only reaching a higher level could provide the reassurance she sought. Otherwise how could she be sure that her power did not rule her, that she truly ruled herself?
Feeling as if the soul and spirit itself had been expanded so suddenly, with such great influx of power... it engendered a lot of doubts about whether the vessel that was her former self could contain it all.
It hardly even seemed real, that such a fragile and weak existence from a few days ago could transform into something that encompassed so much moreness now.
Who truly was she, before the ritual? Who was she that asked this now? Did it even matter anymore?
All she knew for sure, down to the deepest core of her mind and body, was that her chakra was her own.
None other's, it was purely hers. Enhanced, to be sure, but unpolluted with foreign will.
It had been her sword and her shield to survive the very destruction of her soul itself. She knew now that her chakra was the vehicle by which she had usurped the lives and powers of at least five other people. Kana needed to find out what bearing their sacrifices had on her, if any.
Kana's chakra was her own will, the very essence unique to her. If even that somehow betrayed her in the course of her struggles, when she needed to rely on it with absolute certainty, then she would be truly lost. It would be intolerable.The mere suggestion that remnants of the dead could somehow affect her chakra and hinder her from within her own body was appalling, revolting to the soul itself. Her body was hers alone... right?
As long as her chakra possessed aspects that she had no concrete comprehension or connection with, that dangerous and nagging doubt would plague her.
So she had to know. To confirm for herself a basis for which she could reconstruct her perspective. And with that newfound perspective, hopefully grow to know herself in full.
In her trancelike fervor, she had known all of this implicitly, which is why she exerted so much effort. Time flew by much longer than a mere night, and the dawn rapidly approaching signaled the third full day of her practice. If she allowed for breaks, she would inevitably have gotten distracted and prolonged this self-confrontation unnecessarily. She'd done so before after all.
But now the first steps were taken. The path forward was less daunting with a grasp on the basics of ninjutsu.
But the basic elemental natures were not the extent of her powers. It seemed her kekkei genkai would occupy that position. Exploring these, however, proved far more complicated. The subtle intuitions and instinctive grasp she felt for the base elements was much more muted when considering kekkei genkai.
The precise ratio and mixture of nature transformations became far more critical and equally more challenging. For Kōton1[Steel Release] and Yōton2[Lava Release], naming and grasping the nature of their phenomenon beforehand had allowed her to tap into some sort of reservoir of understanding that seemed to come from her chakra itself.
From this, she was able to successfully construct and release a basic lava puddle and produce a simple steel lump as experimental jutsu. As far as she knew, there was no technique name for these. They were likely her own personal creations... not that they were very impressive.
That was about all she was capable of for now though, but it was at least some conclusive evidence of her theory. She had definitely acquired kekkei genkai that she was certain she would never have been able to perform without the ritual's alterations. Equally certain, however, was the fact that there was more than just these two.
Still these remaining abilities eluded her understanding. Scanning her chakra and its flows provided momentary glimpses, but never anything clear enough to attempt formulating a jutsu.
And so she had arrived at a roadblock, one she was confident could not be solved as obligingly as she might hope. It was only then that she allowed herself a break, the temple stairs offering a convenient seat....
Stirring herself, Kana stood and stretched to wind down from her extended exercise. It had been tiring, but not exhausting. It felt like she could still go on relatively normally.
That itself had addressed another set of worries, too. All that time had passed, several days at this point, without a wink of sleep. Her body did not grow sluggish, eyes never losing their focus. Neither did she eat or drink at all.
She did feel a sort of mental fatigue, such that she still had a longing to rest once in a while, but never did her mind grow clouded with the bleary fog of sleep deprivation. The desires to rest and refresh herself were there, but they weren't painful or inhibiting. Yet anyway.
As far as she could tell, the only detriment she faced was that the rate at which her chakra regenerated had slightly lessened. Slightly, but noticeably. If the rate kept decreasing like it had, she would surely have to rest eventually.
This suggested that nourishment was a rather more flexible necessity than it had been before the ritual. As long as she had chakra, it seemed it alone would be enough to sufficiently maintain her vitality. Vitality which her body seemed naturally possess in great amounts.
No need to regularly eat, breathe, or sleep... just what exactly...
Did she even qualify as human anymore? It was yet another terrifyingly plausible possibility to investigate on top of everything else.
Kana shook her head in exasperation as she climbed the stairs back inside. She felt human enough, if exceedingly durable for one. If she kept overthinking everything so much, she might really go insane though. If she wasn't already, that is.
Never before had she stayed awake for so long, so perhaps her critical thinking skills were more impaired than she realized.
A gentle sigh allowed her to relax her expression.
It was time for a long overdue bath.
Having had her fill relaxing in the hotspring below, long enough to reward herself for a job well done over the last few days, Kana pondered what to do next from within the secret garden's rear chambers.
For now, she occupied one of the few reliable-looking chairs left in the former living chambers of the Shinigon.
She was down to wearing just the kimono blouse and trousers, as her outer cloak had been thoroughly soiled with dust and debris from recent activities. It currently hung from a tree branch in the gardens to dry after she'd rinsed it off.
Thinking further, Kana considered the certain lack of basic amenities available here at the temple. She'd collected some of the best clothes and weapons left lying around, and even then everything was third-rate at best. Her vigorous movements over the last few days had thoroughly revealed the poor quality of her clothes in the form of chafing and abrasions in some... rather uncomfortable places. She massaged her chest and shoulders absentmindedly, thighs and feet getting their turn too.
It all healed rather quickly after her soak in the hotspring, but without addressing the root cause it would remain a consistent issue. For some reason, this seemingly minor concern found its way to the forefront of her mind more and more often. It was a strangely powerful motivator.
Well, it was already on the agenda to venture forth a little and get a feel for the terrain surrounding Mt. Shumisen. She might as well be extra expeditious and try to forage for some better gear, right?
Thoughts of a certain unholy mess of tedious scrolls and documents floated around her mind.
Reconnaissance and resource gathering, yes. Urgent priorities. The most urgent, really.That seemed extraordinarily reasonable, in the moment. Yes, there was hardly a more reasonable matter to prioritize right this second... It was rare for her to feel so assuredly decided. The temple wasn't going anywhere indeed. If luck would have it, there was hardly a concern that anyone would make their way up here, let alone breach the barrier illusion.
Liking this train of thought, Kana slid to her feet, heading up to the central juncture towards the dilapidated armory and abandoned dormitory wing. One more patrol and inventory of the armory's contents ought to allow enough time for her cloak to dry. It would be a perfect opportunity to collect anything of value remaining there and compose a list of her available resources... or those that she lacked.