Vol 1 Chapter 22: The Hobbit-Loving Baron

Alan

“Alan, my old friend! Long time no see! Here, come! Sit!”

I now stood face-to-face with the man himself, Baron Eriol Fernwood, the Lord of the entire Sheffield region. The bastard still looked as youthful as ever. He should already be pushing to his thirties.

“I don’t have much time, Eriol. My daughter, Marina… your guards have arrested her.”

“What? How could that happen? In your letters, you always say that she’s a good and studious little girl. Don’t tell me now that she’s older, she suddenly turns into a delinquent! Though I suppose all children go through that phase… even my own daughter keeps saying how she hates me all the time…”

That’s your own fault, isn’t it?

Ordinarily, I would have respect for this man. He was a good ruler, well, decent enough anyway. He paid me well and he seemed to care about his people, at least compared to the other nobles that I had met.

There was just one problem though—one big problem that made him lose any respect that I might have for him.

“Aaah, Minny! Why can’t my daughter be more like you?!”

Without any shame, he grabbed the hobbit maid that had been serving his tea and hugged her as if she was his pillow.

And that was the problem.

His perverted obsession towards female Hobbits.

Ever since I first met him, he was already a big lecher who would chase after their skirts. Whenever we went to a red-light district to wind off after a hard quest, he would only look for a Hobbit prostitute. And when he took the reign of the territory from his father, that hobby didn’t diminish. In fact, it would only worsen, as he would surround himself with Hobbit maids and flirt with them, while ignoring his human wife completely. Sure, he didn’t really want to marry her in the first place, as their marriage was one of political convenience, but still…

I sighed. It wouldn’t be my place to criticize his marriage. But the way he kept being so lighthearted about it… it just rubbed me the wrong way.

Then again, I couldn’t hate him either. The man’s been good to me. He gave us a home to live in when Renee and I decided to retire from a life of adventuring when she was having Marina. He even gave a well-paying job as his knight.

We went way back, before I met Myrilla even. We used to go on quests together as adventurers, before I knew that he was actually a noble. Because he certainly didn’t act like one—uh, no offense to him. We eventually separated though.

"Aaah, you're so soft as usual, Minny!"

"M-Master, please, not in front of a guest…"

My eyebrows were raised even higher as he started fondling the poor girl—uhh, woman… you really can't tell with how they looked…

She wasn’t really that distressed by it however. Many of the Hobbit maids that he employed were either slaves or prostitutes that he picked off the streets. To them, this new life was much better than what they had before. And Eriol certainly wasn’t the abusive type. Just a pervert with questionable taste in women.

"Hey, don't give me that look!" He suddenly snapped at me. "You don't get the right to judge when you love fondling boobs as much as I do!"

He's right. I would go to those seedy places just so I could grope the biggest breasts that I could find there.

I stopped doing that once I was with Myrilla of course. The cold look that she gave me when she saw me going there… brrrrr, scary.

And naturally, not a word of this to Renee.

“Alright, fine.” I sighed, taking my seat in front of him. We were now inside his study. I had been granted a private meeting with him, just by saying my name to the front guard. “I’m just here to ask for a favor.”

“A favor?” His eyes perked up. “Oh oh, let me guess! Your wife kicked you out because you cheated on her!”

“No, nothing like that. I'm offended that you would even think that actually,” I returned with a frown. I would never cheat on her. Not in a million years.

"Ha! You really have changed, haven't you, Alan? What's so good about that wife of yours that she made you be this boring? Is her chest really that good?"

"The best," I answered matter-of-factly, without a doubt.

"You can't know that if you haven't fondled every woman in the world, can you?!"

I sighed again. This conversation was clearly going nowhere at this rate.

"Look. Like I said, my daughter has been arrested by your guards and I need you to release her at once.”

I then explained what I witnessed—how she gallantly defended the hobbit girl from the shopkeeper, before being accused by said man of a crime she didn’t commit and then escorted by the guards from it.

Or I would, if he didn’t just stop my story midway once I got to the part where the hobbit girl got slapped. He suddenly slammed his hands onto the table with a furious look on his face. Standing up, he shouted, “Unforgivable! Treating a Hobbit girl like that! Who does he think he is?!”

“Eh, nothing special. Just Newt Benedict, one of the richest and most influential merchants in the city.”

“Oh, it’s that fat bastard who did it? That’s it! I’m going to have him hanged at once! I have suffered his machinations for so long and now he dares treating my precious Hobbits like that?! I won’t have it! I won’t have it at all!”

He immediately made his way to the door, but I stopped him by pulling on his coat. “Hey, hey, let’s not get all hot-headed here. Didn’t you remember? You said it yourself that he’s connected to many powerful people in the capital. If you just execute him like that, wouldn’t they come after you next? You already are disliked by those capital folks. They’ll use his execution as an excuse that you’re not fit to rule then you’ll get the boot.”

The reason for his unpopularity was mostly one thing and one thing only. And it was the same thing that I disliked him for as well, ironically enough. The nobles in the capital considered hobbits to be a dirty, uncivilized race that was lower than humans. To keep a hobbit company, let alone having multiple of them as your maids like this, was practically considered blasphemy by them. If Eriol had his way and married a hobbit instead of a noblewoman, he probably wouldn’t be in this position right now, since only thanks to his link to her family that he could survive this long. Or so he said to me.

Hmph, he too had changed. Slowly, he’s turning into a scheming politician, just like the other nobles. Well, he needed that if he wanted to keep his position and this way of life of his.

“...You’re right, friend. I apologize.”

With a sigh, he returned and sat back down again, with his Hobbit maid giving him a worried look from the corner of the room behind him. She had scuttered there after he released her.

“The two would have to stand trial. I can’t just release them that easily, or else he would have a valid case against me to the King. Of course, behind the scenes, I’ll tell the judge to pass a not guilty sentence for them. And of course, I’ll hurry the trial as well. Two days from now should be the quickest.”

Due to his well-known bias towards Hobbits, the king had forbidden him from taking the role of a judge in criminal trials or even simple business dispute ones. Of course, this was done because of a hard push from the other nobles in the capital. Still, he managed to retain some of that authority anyway, as he quickly befriended the judge the capital appointed to him.

“Thank you for that,” I returned. He really is becoming a scheming nobleman. “Though that means they would have to stay captive there for a little longer.” I sighed. “Poor Marina. That kid always loves cleanliness you know. Her room is never messy and she takes her baths every day. It must pain her to sleep in a dirty cell like that.”

“Now that’s settled…” His serious expression suddenly turned into a grin. “Can I go see this cute Hobbit girl with you? Please?”

I sighed again. It’s not like I’m in any position to say no, aren’t I?

----

Marina

“Psshh… Hey, Marina… Marina, wake up!”

I slowly opened my eyes. Urgh, it seemed I had fallen asleep while sitting. I remembered not wanting to disturb Sophie that had fallen asleep on my lap.

“Huh, Father?”

I rubbed my eyes. Surely, I must be dreaming.

No. That big, well-muscled figure…. It could only have been him.

“Father!” I whispered loudly. I didn’t want to wake up Sophie. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I… sorta followed you when you left…”

“Followed me… you mean from when I left home this morning?”

“H-hey, don’t get mad, alright? It’s a Father’s right to make sure his daughter’s safe, you know!”

I certainly was irked enough by the revelation that I sent a glare towards him. But I couldn’t blame him. After all, I ended up in this situation. I was being childish and stubborn. Just because I got upset, I ran away from home in a guise of wanting to be an adventurer.

“You’re alright in there? Did you give you anything to eat for dinner?”

Oh Father. You won’t even scold me or anything? Or say “I told you so!” at the very least? You really should be a little more stern to your kids.

“They did,” I replied with a smile. “But I wouldn’t call it food to be honest.”

“Ha! I see you’re still as cheerful as ever! Good, good! My daughter wouldn’t lose her wits just because she’s in jail!”

I wasn’t sure whether that was supposed to be a joke or not.

“Ooooooo! Cute! So cute! Sleeping Hobbits really are adorable!”

He wasn’t alone however. There was another man with him. And he seemed to be looking straight towards Sophie. No, leering would be the more accurate expression. Instinctively, I blocked his view by bending forward, covering her face with my body.

“Father, who is that?” I said coldly, glaring towards him.

“A-ah, that’s Lord Eriol. You know him, right?”

“The Baron of this region?” I raised my eyebrows, looking back at him.

He was still leering, even with a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. He was now looking at Sophie’s bare feet. Like most Hobbits, her feet were hairy. Personally, I thought it wasn’t very appealing.

Not him though. He clearly loved the sight.

“Cute Hobbit feet found! Hmm, nice, nice! Just the perfect amount of dirtyness to them!”

...This man… is an absolute, 100% creep.

“N-now, now, don’t give him that look! He’s helping you out, you know!”

Father then quickly explained about the trial, and how we would be exonerated from our supposed crimes there. Oddly enough however, instead of feeling relieved or happy, I couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Here was a Lord blatantly abusing his power and influence, and he didn’t give a single remorse about it. Is this how the law in this country is? Just an advice instead of a binding thing that even the nobility cannot manipulate or escape from?

“And there you have it!” The young-looking Lord ended Father’s explanation. “Just sit tight and rest easy. You’re in good hands! Just take care of my cute little Hobbit, alright?”

I’ll take care of her alright. And that includes keeping her away from you.

Father then offered if I needed him to sleep there outside the cell for the night. I told him no, saying that I would be fine on my own, and that he should just find an inn to sleep instead.

“Why don’t you stay with us, Alan?” The Lord patted him on the shoulder with a smile. “We have so many empty rooms it’s almost a crime!”

“No need. I’m never comfortable sleeping in a fancy place like yours, to be honest.”

And with that, the two left, leaving me and Sophie alone in our cell once again.

Haah, I’m glad that she doesn’t wake up through all that. Poor girl would no doubt be scared terribly by that lord.

I’ve heard anecdotes about how a lot of nobles are secretly deviants behind closed doors, but he doesn’t even try to hide it.

...Oh dear, I shouldn’t have sent that letter then. Now I would only worry Hugo and Mother needlessly.

----

Hugo

“Uwaaa! Flowers! Flowers!”

I watched from a distance as Erika walked around the field of dandelions, with Mother near her side. She had approved us to take a trip to the village, with the condition that she followed along as well. Thanks to us now having Mary as our permanent maid (which she was completely ecstatic about as that meant bringing good money to her family at the village), Mother could safely leave the chores to her.

We were now in the wild dandelion fields just outside the village. Luckily for us, we got our own secluded spot, with no other children playing around.

“Careful now, dearie! You don’t want to trip, do you?” She giggled, taking her little arms to keep her up after she wobbled a little.

I must be smiling ear to ear as I watched that scene. It’s just so heartwarming, seeing my little sister like this. She had learned to walk and speak faster than most other babies, at least according to Mother, though she still wasn’t very good at both. Aah, I can’t wait to see her be another genius like Marina in the future!

“Haaah…”

Beside me however was Miss Grump herself, Sherry, taking a tired-sounding sigh while looking all dejected.

“Hey, what’s with the long face?” I asked with a concerned look. It’s not like her to be like this.

She turned to face me. With a wry smile, she answered, “I think your sister hates me.”

“What? Marina? But that’s—”

“No, silly! I’m talking about Erika.” She looked back at my little sister. “She never lets me play with her like that…”

Her somber expression sood returned. Damn it, now that I saw her like this, I had to make Erika play with her!

“Big bro! Flowers!”

She walked towards me, with a dandelion in her tiny hands. I crouched down to be on the same level as her before taking the flower off her hand.

“Thanks, Erika!” I patted her head.

“Yay, flowers!” She laughed.

Aah, so cute!

I wonder if Marina felt this way as well when I was first born…

I stood up and gave another glance towards Sherry. Wew, she was biting her lip, and with a honestly pitiful look on her face. She really wanted to be close to Erika that badly, huh? Alright! Here goes nothing!

I picked her up and placed her right into Sherry’s arms.

“H-huh?”

“Here! Hold her for a while, would you?” I said with a smile.

“B-but…”

“It’ll be fine!” I reassured her. “Erika! Be good to Sherry, alright?” I gave her another headpat.

“No! Want big bro! Not Sher-Sher!” She punched and kicked, causing Sherry to have to put her on the ground. And then, she started to sniffle.

Oh boy, here she goes again. She would always cry whenever she doesn’t get what she wants.

But Sher-Sher... that could be a cute nickname for her if I were to be honest. She probably wouldn’t like it though...

I decided to do something unthinkable. I crouched down again and stared her right in the eyes. With a scary expression, I said to her, “If you don’t want to play with Sherry, then I won’t play with you either. Got it?!”

And then, she immediately calmed down.

Heh, it was effective after all. I was scared she would just cry even more from that.

I gave a little thumbs-up with a grin towards Sherry before taking a few steps backwards, waiting with bated breath to see how this would progress.

“Sherry?” She turned, looking upwards to her face.

“Y-yes?” Sherry quickly lowered herself.

“Big bro is mine! You can’t have him!”

Later that day, I knew from Mother that those were the longest words she had ever uttered so far.

Welp, guess I’m really going to have another sister with a brother complex.

----

The next day, I was woken up by an uproar. Or to be more exact, it was Mother, yelling on the top of her lungs.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HE DOING? HOW COULD HE LET THAT HAPPEN TO HER?!”

Quickly, I left my room to see what the fuss was all about. When I reached the living room, Sherry was already there. We exchanged confused looks with each other. Mother was still in her nightgown, walking back and forth furiously while holding what looked like a letter in her right hand.

“Mother, what’s wrong? Why are you—”

“IT’S MARINA! SHE’S BEEN ARRESTED!”

My heart sank.

“I have to go! I have to go right now over there and set things straight right away! Mary, you stay here with Erika!”

“Y-yes, Ma’am!” The poor maid yelped. She had been standing in a corner of the room, looking absolutely terrified like she was seeing a ghost.

Mother immediately went to the front door, but Mary stopped her, reminding her that she still hadn’t changed yet. She quickly rushed back to her and Father’s room as a result.

I looked at Mary and asked what happened.

“W-we got this letter really early in the morning, you see. The courier said it was really, really important so I brought it immediately to Lady Renee as she woke up. And when she read it, she immediately went ballistic like you just saw.”

“And the contents of the letter—what did it say?!”

“I-I don’t know! I wouldn’t dare to open any letters without Master or Milady’s permission!”

I stopped pushing her, as she was seemingly already on the verge of tears.

There was only one thing that made sense. Marina had been arrested in Aarom, and that was her letter asking for help.

“Sherry, you’re going?” I turned to ask her.

“Of course.” She nodded. We didn’t need to say anything. We both knew that we wanted to save Marina just as badly as Mother did.

Without even having breakfast, we decided to depart as soon as we could. Not by walking, like how Marina did it, but by horse. We had two horses, one each for Father and Mother. Mother took hers, and told me to sit on the front while Sherry sat on the back. I thought she would tell us to stay but it seemed she was too angry to care.

“Hold tight, you two!”

And thus, with a kick of her right boot, we left.