Special Chapter 1: The Mother

Emperial Palace of the Kamatayan Empire, 3 days before the official declaration of Loki's role as the representative of vampires and devils in the imperial court.

Despite being called the queen of the undead, there is no wife or concubine of the empress, Sophia Demiurge, who is an undead. Thus, all the celebrations inside the palace of the empress still require food.

Not to mention all of her guests are living people, the wives of, and Urduja herself as well as some of her children who wanted to invest or learn from the various scientific academies of Sophia are now all present to celebrate the official establishment of the empire of undeads alongside her apotheosis as the new mother goddess of creation.

But while Sophia is inside her throne room to receive the gifts, two calamities are casually sitting on a table, cutting off and putting the respective dishes from their plates into their mouth.

"The foods of Gjallarhorn... Urduja and Kamatayan are quite similar, don't you think?"

Loki said as he looked at his plate, it has what the two empires call "Kaldireta" and rice, a lot of it, something that's not bad, but the lack of plating kinds of makes him wonder where's the pride and ego of the world's mightiest protector that's normally more vast than the universe itself in such a plate?

_Did she pour all of it out to the "Filipino fashion" she has popularized?_

Well, Loki didn't delve further into the personal choices of his new lady, or rather, what he's more focused on now is the silent treatment he has been receiving from the friend of his that's currently forcing herself to eat the food on her plate.

Loki can't help but sigh at this before enclosing their table with illusions.

"Hey, look at me."

Loki said, nowhere is the playful tone of his and a stern attitude, rare for even himself to see is present, making Urduja, who has gritted teeth and a frown on her face, seemingly conflicted on something flinch.

"W-what is it?"

Urduja seems nervous and if Loki didn't know that the only thing preventing Urduja's face from being common all around the world is her lack of penis, then he would assume that she have caught feelings for him.

"When will you say to Empress Sophia that you're her mother in her first life?"

Urduja again flinched at this question and then glared at Loki as if wanting to pretend that she was offended by this blunt question, yet in the end, she sighed, her absolute confidence in herself nowhere to be seen.

"No... I have not... I'm... I'm afraid..."

Urduja's lips evidently went into a silent purse, which caused Loki to shake his head.

"Look, riddle me this. You are the mother of the mother goddess of creation, ruler of space, deceiver of time, and are currently on her way to retrieve the omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent divinity. Do you truly believe that a person who has all those credentials didn't know, or even realize that not only are you two from the same country, but you're also the one who gave birth to her when she was still an earthling?"

Urduja was silent for a moment as she heard these words; Loki even saw that she was on the verge of tears.

How can you cry now when you just have to say sorry, but not when you dropped global water levels and will cause floods this coming rainy season?

Loki, of course, can't say such a thing in this sensitive time of his friend, though he really wondered now how will the god of the undeads apologize to Eris, well, for Loki, he won't ever apologize as it's for his planet, but Siginarugan is a negligent father at that time.

Like Urduja, apparently.

Only when Loki finished thinking all of this did Urduja reply.

"But... what if she's mad? I...I can't leave this world, I am an empress, I am the buffer of my people, and one of the pillars of Genesis against the greedy hands of the other continents."

I am also here, and my sister, you dimwit.

Again, Loki can't say something like that at a time like this, so he replied.

"Well, are you dead yet? Or I'll give you a better question: do you have what it takes to get out alive if Sophia wants you dead?"

Urduja looked at Loki, causing her eyes to turn pitch black. This pitch black dark magic was dispelled by a ray of sunlight that came out of her eyes.

"Why are you forcing me to do things I don't want to do? You're the one who said it, she already knows that I'm her mother and she didn't kill me yet, so-"

Loki suddenly was somehow livid on this question

"YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE SUN!"

Loki sighed and panted a few times before continuing.

"You are the strongest human in the world, blessed before the creation began, the army destroyer, the living calamity known to command the very light that gods have bestowed upon mortals... and yet you're here, afraid of apologizing? Yes, in the time loop, your soul is deemed to be the reason for the suffering of all the Sophias that were dragged here... but the time loop is over... You helped Sophia enough already, became her benchmark of strength... You have already become her aspiration once."

Loki remained silent and then continued whilst once again sitting back in his seat.

"You have to forgive yourself, okay?"

Urduja looked at this friend of his, his words reverberating in her mind, something that's she knew caused by illusions, but she didn't care, for even without illusions, Urduja's vision can't help to go back at the time she wanted to forget and the reason why Loki is the one who needs to talk her out of this rejection of hers.

__________

One reason, besides her overwhelming guilt of course, that Urduja don't want to say the truth (despite it being an open secret already) is due to the fact that her abandoning Sophia... or her son as it was stated in the time loop is very immature, one can even say that's it's foolish.

Urduja, or on Earth, Imelda is a victim of teenage pregnancy, that is, of course, a fruit of recklessness that spiraled down the path of her falling into the hands of an evil incarnate like the president of the Segundo Conglomerate.

When she was in college, she had a goal: to make friends, as she was not able to make or maintain any kind of relationship in her senior high school years due to her wanting to study in a good university in Manila.

In short, Urduja wants to enjoy life more, and thankfully, she was able to associate herself easily with her fellow "freshmen" who are, like her, wanting to enjoy what they have lost in their high school lives in their college tenure.

It first started with normal ones, food trips, travels, study groups... until someone got a lover... so all of them got one too.

And then bars... cheating, even making it a competition on who will be caught last.

And of course, drugs, one night stands... now that Urduja thought it through with the knowledge that her soul is always part of the time loop despite being millions of light years away every single time, it made sense to her on why does such a sequence of events feels so fast for her, she didn't even resist until the time when she hit the jackpot with the president of a good company.

Or at least, that's what Urduja thought at that time before she was abducted, drugged, and raped several times and then discarded when she got pregnant of the son she have abandoned.

But again, now that Urduja have thought about it, after the fact that she went homeless in the entirety of the 9 months of her pregnancy, bearing withdrawal symptoms, post traumatic stress, hunger and devastation of what she have become, it feels strange that she didn't got her baby miscarriage nor did she have any thought of abortion, she was even able to give him to the church before Urduja was found by her parents and then accompanied her back home to their province after which she have committed suicide.

"It was all because of the time loop" is an inappropriate excuse for all that she has done, even though Urduja and Sophia knew that it was technically true.

Urduja is conflicted on how to converse with her son, now daughter, in asking for her forgiveness.

Yes, for Sophia, such "sorry" from Urduja is nothing but just another minute of her now endless life, but for Urduja, it was her redemption, it was her way to finally destroy the shackles of her past that pinned her down into the endless thorns of her self-blame.

Urduja's eyes suddenly widened, and as they did, the dark dome by which Loki and Urduja is in was ripped apart as an intruder, the Empress of Kamatayan and the new mother of creation appeared in front of them, she looked at Urduja, her smiled gentle like a lake after a night storm.

Am I ready to forgive myself?

How will I forgive myself?

Urduja's mind was suddenly filled with questions as she stared at the tall woman in front of her, and honestly, she might not know the answers to those two questions, yet as if an epiphany, Urduja realized how will she would know them.

Sophia stretched out her hand towards the front of Urduja, and seeing this, the hero of the sun stretched out her shaking hand too and put it in the empress of Kamatayan's palm, after which, Urduja looked at Sophia with her similarly shaking eyes.

"Sophia... I am your mother."

Sophia nodded, I know, that's what all Sophia has to say before pulling Urduja into a hug whilst putting her head into the hero of the sun's shoulder.

"It's been a while."

Urduja, who's holding back her tears for a long while now, finally let them fall.

It was unfair.

Really, really unfair.

To be forgiven, even though she felt like she had yet to even start atoning.

Yet still, Urduja, Imelda felt relieved.

For in the very mouth of her son, she heard the very words she thought only audible in her dreams.

From this point on, Urduja decided to try to forgive herself like what her daughter... son or whatever has done.

Goddarn, that was horrible, please comment how can I improve it.