CH 41: Mother’s intuition

Toni left the duo to process what they had heard. He returned to the stage with a lyre in hand as he began another performance. He looked a lot more tired than before, but he pushed through. Jasmine stared idly at him before asking.

“So, how do you manage traveling? I can see him being a constant target for bandits or nobles.” Her eyes scanned the room; it was very easy to tell which women were under the effects of his gift. Less than half the room was idly eating, taking occasional glances before returning to their meal or conversation. The large majority were intently watching as the man played.

“It’s… not the worst,” Alice said. She watched her son play with a smile on her face. “His gift only affects women attracted to men, thankfully, so we are able to have a detail of women to protect us. Our noblewoman is very kind. I used to play in her court, and she helped me get pregnant.” That shocked the pair. They’ve only heard or met nobles who abuse their powers. Especially from Elizabeth. She was always going on about the noble class and how they use people. Jasmine herself has met quite a few through her old party, and none of them could be considered kind to the lower classes. It was relieving to know that there were some out there.

“She saw herself as his grandmother and even paid for the women out of her own pocket… we are so thankful for her,” Alice said with a slight smile. “But you’re right. Far too many women have tried to take Toni. We’ve met quite a few noblewomen blinded by lust… We lost a lot of good women fighting them off.”

“Then why travel? It seems like it adds unnecessary risks.” Jasmine asked. She glanced at Lily, but she was watching Toni perform. “I wouldn’t risk it.”

Alice smiled and let out a sigh. “Anka told him to travel and show his beauty to the world… But also, he loves to perform. He loves to travel and hear people’s stories. I’ve never seen him as happy before we started playing together. My Lady said it was worth his happiness…”

“I don’t know… My… uh, lover, she lost her brother to our noblewoman’s greed. I don’t know if I could risk it.” Jasmine replied. She was curious as to how Claire would react to seeing a man. Or another individual blessed by a Goddess. But given how Lily was acting, it may be dangerous for her to meet with Toni.

“Oh, I’ve heard the stories that come from this place. Lady Myrtle, right? Thankfully, my Lady sent a platoon of knights to meet with her beforehand. Or else we’d never step foot here.” Alice replied. It relieved Jasmine to know that Alice’s Lady was so willing to help them. But she couldn’t help but be bitter. “We also have a squad of knights with us right now. They’re dispersed in the crowd right now to make sure nothing happens.”

“Damn, they must be extremely well trained. I can usually spot them pretty easily.” Jasmine said she raised an eyebrow before scanning the crowd. She found a few she thought to be adventurers before, but they could be the knights she’s speaking of. “I’m impressed.”

Alice nodded and replied, “Like I said, my Lady sees Toni as her grandson. She would never skimp out on protecting him.”

“Ahh, I-I gotta go. I'll inform Claire about what the goddess said.” Lily shot up, her hands covering her lap as she quickly left. Alice let out a laugh.

“What’s got her all worked up?” She said while giggling. Jasmine smiled. If only she knew. “It’s a shame, Toni will be sad that she left.”

“Yeah, it’s probably best that she leave. Your son’s blessing had quite the effect on her.” Jasmine said. Alice nodded and turned to her son. He was sitting on a stool, playing his lyre while singing a tale. He sang of adventurers journeying to take back their home.

The two sat for the rest of the song. Neither spoke as they watched Toni’s performance. Jasmine had to admit, he was very pleasing to watch. His fluidity in his strokes and his voice. Even the fabric of his clothing seemed to dance as he played his lyre. She looked to Alice, whose face was lit up with pride.

Jasmine felt a pang hit her chest as she thought about it. Alice looked so proud of her son, and it made Jasmine start to look internally. Would her mothers look at her the same way? Her mothers weren’t fighters like she was. They were a craftswoman and a huntress. Not a killer like her. She must have been scowling as Alice tapped her hand.

“Are you okay?” She whispered as she scooted closer. “Did his song bring up bad memories?”

Jasmine shook her head and fixed her facade. “No, just have a lot on my mind.”

Alice frowned before speaking. “That’s a lie.”

Jasmine flinched. She was shocked. She just met this lady, how would she know? “I may not look like it, but I am a mother. And mothers know when you’re lying.”

Her face was serious as she leaned towards Jasmine. It felt like she was staring into her soul, and she quickly broke. She didn’t know how or why she did, but she spoke. “I just… I lost my mothers when I was very young… I never got to experience much with them. Your pride in your son had me questioning myself…”

She felt her face redden as she finished speaking. She was internally cursing herself for being so emotional today. From start to finish, today was filled with her emotions driving her. She needed to do better. Her thoughts were interrupted by Alice.

Alice’s face softened as she leaned in to hug her. “I pegged you as the type immediately. The one who hides her baggage, her pain. The Knights’ Order is filled with them. All so afraid of letting it out.” Jasmine felt the woman wrap her arms around her. “My wife was also like that. It took me ages to get her to open up.”

Jasmine felt tears well up in her eyes. It felt odd hugging her. She’d expect her body to react strongly to this attractive lady embracing her. But something was different about her hug. It felt warm, comforting. Like a mother. She found her body missing it as Alice pulled away.

“I hope you found a lover you can confide in. Too many die carrying their burdens alone…” Alice whispered softly in her ear. She rubbed the top of Jasmine’s head as she whispered to her. “It’s okay to feel your emotions. You’re not a machine.”

Jasmine breathed deeply. It felt nice to have Alice soothe her, but she was all cried out after the day she had. “I just question myself. Would my mothers look at me like how you look at your son?”

“Shhh, I have no doubts your mothers are looking at you with pride and joy. Their daughter grew to be a strong, capable woman from what I can tell.” Alice said gently. Jasmine fully believed her now, despite her looks. She felt far older than she appeared. Her embrace brought back memories of her childhood, of her mothers. Of the good times she had before they were taken from her.

“Thank you. I’ve had a… rough day today. I’ve cried more times in the last 15 hours than I have in 15 years.” Jasmine responded. She let out a small laugh before she stretched. “I really need to get a hold of myself.”

“You’ll find it easier to control your emotions and your outbursts if you regularly talk about them,” Alice replied. Her voice now sounded older to Jasmine, which caused her head to hurt. It still couldn’t reconcile the fact that she was in her 40s. “I hope you confide more in your lover or in Lily. She seemed like a smart young lady.”

Jasmine nodded, ”I actually just spoke with Claire about my mothers. It felt nice to open up to her, but I still have scars… My last lover wasn’t the greatest.”

“Claire is her name? I hope she took it well.” Alice smiled. “And as for your last lover, if you don’t want to speak about it yet, it’s okay. You should talk about it when you feel ready.”

Jasmine nodded. She wasn’t ready yet. Just thinking about it caused her chest to tighten. She had given Claire the bare minimum earlier, but there was a lot more that had happened back then. It made it hard for her to truly accept Claire and the others. Some part of her was still holding out despite how badly her body craved that connection with her party members. Her hand squeezed her chest right where her heart was, the center of the pain.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Alice patting her head again. “Take your time. Just make sure not to project her actions onto Claire.”

Jasmine nodded; thankfully, she hadn’t done that. She couldn’t imagine Claire lying to anyone, so she didn’t have to worry about that. But there was that voice in the back of her head. The voice she should have listened to back then. It kept her from doing more or getting emotionally involved with the twins. Even with Lily, despite the age of their friendship, she still held herself back.

Toni finished his song, cutting off Jasmine’s thoughts. She turned to the singer as he bowed. It was a fitting time to leave, as any more and Alice might get her to spill their secret. “I should go and join Lily. It was nice talking to you.”

Alice nodded and gave her one last smile. “You as well. I hope you find the necessary strength to deal with your past. And deal with a Goddess.”

She was able to get one last laugh out of Jasmine before she left. It felt nice to talk to her, but she folded too easily to her. Maybe it was a skill, or maybe it was exactly what she needed. Whatever it was, Jasmine finally felt like she could put this behind her.