CH 293: The Subtle Doubt

There was stunned silence for a moment as they read over Her new name and title. It was only once Ana returned that the silence broke. The younger twin practically sprinted into the church, journal in hand. She paused and hesitantly walked towards the group.

“Wh-what are you all doing?” She asked softly. Then she saw the statue of the Goddess.

“We named Her.” Claire finally found her voice.

Ana blinked. She continued walking towards the statue, her answer inscribed on the pedestal. “Elaine… That’s a beautiful name.”

“Thank you.” Elaine’s voice came from Ana’s mouth, responding to her compliment.

“Still freaky to see that.” Jasmine shook her head. “But what exactly does this gain you?”

“Power. Influence. A name for people to pray to.” Her voice returned to Claire’s mouth. “They can call upon my name for aid. But it also makes it easier for others to notice me.”

“Is the trade-off worth it?” Jasmine asked.

“Very.” Elaine’s voice was very firm. “This will restrict my movements from now on, given the amount of new eyes about to be on me. But it legitimizes my domain and Godhood.”

“Giving people a name to pray to is more than enough,” Samira said in an almost whisper. “It is comforting to know who is aiding you…”

“Agreed.” Lily nodded. She moved closer to Ana and quickly switched topics. “I think we figured out another symbol.”

Ana was pulled out of her conversation with Elsie. She quickly opened the journal. “Which one?”

Samira pursed her lips, unsure if she should join them or continue discussing this new revelation. “Why am I important?” Samira asked before she even realized it.

“That, I cannot answer.”

“Besides that.” Samira could feel an emptiness fill her chest. “Why am I important to you?”

There was a hesitation by the Goddess. She took a moment before answering the woman. She continued to use Claire’s mouth to speak, “Your magic. In its purified form and when combined with my ‘gift’, it can allow for greater access to the ‘gift’. Right now, we are limited to Claire and Toni’s seed.”

“What is the purified version of my magic?” Samira continued. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. “Explain what you can…”

“Your magic… is closer to the raw form of His time than today’s.” Claire could feel Elaine choosing Her words carefully. There was some conflict and turmoil of Her own. “It is powerful, but dangerous in its current form. The purified form… is like changing your magic from destruction magic to healing magic. No longer a weapon, but a boon.”

“How?” Samira was staring deeply into the statue’s vacant eyes. While Claire was the origin of Her voice at this moment, it felt more like Samira was talking to the statue itself. “Please. I want to be free of this burden.”

“Compulsion is the corrupted form. Bending the will to your own.” Claire could feel the Goddess hesitate once more. She was trying to figure out what She could say in real time. “I am afraid anything more could blow back upon us.”

“No. Please. I want to know.” Samira begged the statue. She’d been in complete control of her emotions this past week. No outbursts, no panic attacks. But all of those feelings were flooding back in that moment. “I want to know if I’ll be truly free of this accursed magic. Please. I want to know if any of it was real…”

Lily was quick to react. She raced to Samira side and offered her a potion. The Lamia tried to reject it, but with Jasmine and Claire’s help, they were able to get her to drink it. Claire could feel the Goddess's pity for Samira. She wanted to say more, to answer Samira’s questions, but She couldn’t. The three of them held Samira as the potion quickly took effect.

Again, silence fell upon them.

Ana was checking Samira with Lily, while Jasmine and Claire stood in silence. Claire could feel the Goddess’s mixed emotions, so she picked up where Samira left off. This time, internally.

‘What did she mean by that last part?’ Claire asked.

‘A fear of hers.’ Elaine’s voice was much quieter than before. ‘If you had the power to compel people, would you believe their feelings are genuine?’

Claire furrowed her brow. ‘What do you mean? Did she use her magic on anyone?’

‘No. She knows she has not. However, subconsciously, she fears her magic is responsible for the love she has been shown.’ The Goddess explained. ‘She asks herself, “Is my mother’s love truly real? Or did my magic affect her?” quite frequently.’

‘Oh, that is tragic…’ Claire glanced at the sleeping Lamia. Lily’s lap was at least a comfortable pillow for her. ‘Worried she subconsciously used her magic to gain the love of her village?’

‘And you.’ Elaine said firmly. ‘“How else would humans love a monster like me?” is her justification.’

Claire knelt beside the woman and stroked her cheek. She could relate to her in a way. Part of her doubted the affection of her companions, especially towards the beginning, since her aura had an effect on them. ‘Her gift was too enticing, and Claire’s aura made them attracted to Claire.’ It was the subtle doubt she never paid true attention to.

It was understandable to think that way, even if it was irrational. Claire liked her for her. She didn’t care about her magic or her being different. In fact, Samira being so different made Claire curious about her from the beginning. Besides, her personality alone would be enough without any of the external factors.

‘She would be comforted to hear that.’ Elaine’s voice echoed within her mind. ‘It staves away the doubts.’

‘I’ll be sure to tell her…’ Claire exhaled deeply. Then she refocused on what Samira wanted to know. ‘What can you tell me about her purified magic?’

‘It will not be the opposite of what it is now. It will not compel others against their will.’ Claire could hear the Goddess physically sigh. It was weird to hear that within her mind. ‘I truly wish I could say more. Sadly, her magic has restrictions placed upon it.’

‘Like Firewater and Silkie?’

There was no response from the Goddess. Claire sat there for a moment, thinking back to what Elsie had said about no answer. ‘So they are connected?’

Again, no answer.

‘Is she from their time?’

‘Not exactly…’

Claire could feel Her hesitancy once more. She was taking a risk answering at all; that was clear. ‘Thank you, Elaine.’

‘My pleasure, Claire.’ The Goddess let out another sigh. ‘Though I will not be able to explain any more. I am dancing too close to giving away too much.’

‘What could happen if you do?’

‘Blowback from the magic protecting her. Punishments from the other Gods.’ The Goddess explained. ‘And not all would be directed at me. You all could be affected by it.’

‘Well then, thank you for telling us as much as you could.’ Claire sighed and stared down at the slumbering lamia. Her tail slowly began to coil around Claire’s waist. Claire slowly stroked her tail, hoping it’d help calm her down.

“What else did the Goddess say?” Jasmine knelt beside Claire. “Or did you just zone out again?”

“A lot,” Claire giggled. “Samira’s problems are quite ingrained within her. And they aren’t just from her powers being used against Amora…”

“Well, I’m glad the focus will be on other issues for a while.” Jasmine sighed and leaned onto Claire’s shoulder. “Was getting tired of my issues being the focus.”

“You’re not off the hook yet.” Lily giggled as she stroked Samira’s red and black hair. “Not until my own petty beef is settled with you.”

“So never?” Jasmine teased back.

“Nope!” Lily smiled at her. “Never.”

“Well, then, I’m glad we’re working through another person’s issue now.” Jasmine shrugged. “Is the Godd- Sorry, Elaine. Is Elaine going to add a punishment to Samira’s class too?”

“I-I don’t think She can,” Ana whispered. She was having a hard time even reading the status of Samira’s health at the moment. “R-right?”

“Gods… So am I the only one who's going to get a punishment?” Jasmine sighed.

“I don’t think so,” Claire giggled. She could feel the Goddess thinking, her emotions stirring. It was still quite strange to feel Her divine magic while conscious. “She’s thinking about it.”

“Well, now that we are horribly sidetracked,” Lily said, taking a deep breath. “I guess we should take her into bed and call it a day. Let us rest and come back tomorrow.”

“M-maybe Elsie and I can stay over at your house to study more.” Ana nodded along.

“I doubt we’ll do any studying, Ana.” Lily said with a tired smile. “But I’d love for both of you to join me.”

“Ah, right…” Ana mumbled.

“Good idea.” Jasmine stood up. “Naming the Goddess is far more progress than I was expecting.”

And with that, they quickly picked Samira up and placed her in bed. They split up for the day with Ursa following Claire home.