CH 288: Jane’s Burden

Jane wiped the sweat from her forehead. She was done with the day’s work and ready for a bath. Now that Claire was up and moving, and Eve wasn’t fussing over every little thing, Jane had a lot more free time. And free time led to her thinking more and more. A thought occurred to her when she stepped into the shower.

She wanted to talk with Anthony. He’d seen her son. He knew what state Ryley was in. How he was doing and how he had grown. She wanted to know more. It was finally time for Jane to confront her own feelings on the matter.

As she felt the warm water cleanse away the sweat and dirt of that day, she thought back to before. When Ryley was taken. How distraught both Eve and Claire were. Both of them were so devastated by Ryley’s absence that they could hardly function. That led to Jane picking up the pieces.

She allowed herself to truly grieve for only a couple of weeks at most. Then she needed to be strong. Needed to pick up the slack her wife was too distraught to do. The harvest still needed to happen that year, even if Jane’s heart ached and bled every moment of every day. Others were relying on her farm, not just her family, but the whole town and area.

So she put her head down and worked. Somehow, she was able to make the harvest and stock their storage for winter. Somehow she was able to do it all with minimal help. She remembered that first day of freedom after everything was done. The emotions and thoughts came rushing back. Her hands were idle, leading to her mind taking over.

It was a nightmare.

All the emotions she buried came flooding back. She was paralyzed in sorrow, not even able to speak or relax. She was stunned by every emotion that she had suppressed coming crashing back down. She sat on the couch for almost the entire day thinking and feeling. She allowed herself one last day to grieve.

Then, she found work to do. She repaired roofs for winter, rebuilt suspension for the carriages, sharpened every tool and every plow. Any imperfection she could find, she fixed. Then she branched out to the others’ houses. She fixed the issues with the Bree’s Tavern that had been left since Jess’s wife died. Fixed the walls around the town- anything and everything to keep her hands moving.

But now it was time for her to confront her feelings of anguish and grief. Watching Jasmine change and hearing Lily vent all about how much the woman suppressed put a mirror straight up to Jane’s own face. She needed to deal with her emotions better. Not leave them to rot and fester like she had.

And Anthony could help with that.

“Jane?” Eve quietly knocked on the door before entering. Twenty years together, and seeing her wife partially nude still made Jane’s mind stop. Her wife was in a loose shirt and nothing much else. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, honey,” Jane said after catching her breath. She slowly rose from the bath, showing off her toned and tanned body. Eve had a very similar reaction to Jane, her mind blanking as well. The hard tan lines of a farmer blended with her toned arms so well. “Just lost in thought, is all.”

Eve wiped the drool coming from her mouth. “Ah, good. I was worried for a bit. Not like you to take so long.”

“Not unless you join me.” Jane chuckled. She grabbed a towel and began to dry off. “I’ll be eating at the tavern tonight.”

“Oh?” Eve tilted her head. “Just you?”

“Yes, just for tonight,” Jane said, kissing her cheek. “I want to talk with Mister Anthony.”

“What about?” Eve leaned into Jane. She rested her head against Jane’s soaked chest.

“Some old emotions,” Jane said, wrapping her arms around Eve. “I’ll take you out tomorrow night, okay?”

Eve looked up at the brown eyes of her wife. She could see the mix of emotions swirling around in them. “Okay, love.” She rested her head against Jane’s chest. “Tell me about it when you are ready.”

“I will,” Jane whispered. She then kissed the top of her wife’s head. She held Eve for a long, quiet moment. She felt the warm embrace of her wife, a nice reprieve from the storm of emotions within her. Then she finally parted from her.

“Good luck, sweetie,” Eve whispered to her.

With that, Jane was ready to confront the world. Those words of encouragement from the woman she loved made her feel like she could fight and conquer anything. She marched her way to the tavern, where she figured Anthony and his knight were staying. She flagged down Jess, who led her to their room.

“I don’t know if they’ll let you talk to him. His gift is quite potent.” Jess explained as she walked up the stairs. “Had another guest get stun-locked by him even with his veil on.”

“No worries,” Jane had a spring in her step. “I would just like to talk with him, even if it’s separated by a barrier or something.”

“That might work,” Jess shrugged. She knocked on the door to their room. “Miss Hannah, Mister Anthony, Claire’s mother is here to see you.”

There was a bit of shuffling before Hannah opened the door. Jane ignored the disheveled look on her face, as she was here for serious business. “Hello, may I speak with Anthony? I don’t mind if we aren’t face to face. I’d just like to talk.”

Hannah could sense the seriousness in Jane's voice. Plus, she was Claire’s mom. How could she say no? She glanced back, checking if Toni’s veil was on and his skirt looked decent. It was good timing since they were just on the verge of giving in to their lust. “Sure. We’ll test how you are with his veil first.”

Jane nodded and peered through the door. She saw the blonde dancer, who was sitting on the bed. She continued to ignore his slightly disheveled look. It was none of her business. And she was here for something else entirely.

“Nothing?” Hannah asked.

“No,” Jane shook her head. Then she was let in. “I don’t mind if you stay here either, Miss Hannah. My daughter trusts you, so I will too.”

The knight blinked, not expecting the comment. She nodded and pulled up chairs for both of them. The two sat before Jane, not knowing what she was here for.

“I apologize for interrupting your night,” Jane started. She was staring at the ground, her eyes swimming with emotion. “I just… I want to know more about my son. His conditions, what he’s going through, what he looks like. Anything and everything. Good or bad.”

Toni gulped. He couldn’t lie very well at all, even with Victoria’s training. He stared into Jane’s deep brown eyes before glancing at his knight. She had a conflicted look on her face, but she nodded.

“It was rough,” Hannah began with the only word she could use to describe it. She turned towards Jane and spoke softly. “Even for a woman like myself. The conditions they were going through were very rough, to say the least. Master Toni said he had deep scars on his wrist and neck from bindings. My Lady had us look into the rest, and it’s even worse.”

Jane closed her eyes. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes already. “I figured as much. Is it true that bitch only has underage boys? Only indulges in the young?”

“Yes,” Toni said almost too quietly. “I was the oldest one there.”

Jane felt like throwing up. She’d heard the rumors about her. “Fuck. I can’t believe my baby boy had to endure that…”

Hannah scooted closer and offered the woman a hug. Jane took it, leaning on her for a moment. The knight did her best to soothe Jane as Toni continued explaining his time there. He paused several times in his explanation to wipe away his own tears. With all the excitement and sex of the last month or so, he’d nearly forgotten the horrors he discovered there.

He only hesitated about the part with Lilith beating Ryley. That was the one part he could not get out of himself. The other things were experiences told to him after, explanations and second-hand accounts from the knights. Horrible and gut-wrenching, but with a degree of separation that made it palatable to Toni in a weird way. But hearing what the spies found out about Ryley’s beating crushed his soul.

“Should I?” Hannah spoke up after a moment of silence. She was patting Jane’s back as her tears soaked into her shoulder. “I know it’s hard for you too…”

Jane paused for a moment. Then, she chuckled softly. She pulled away from Hannah for a moment and wiped her tears. She smiled softly and spoke, her voice almost broken with emotion. “Right… your crush on him.” It was the first time she’d smiled since starting the conversation. A little ray of happiness in the deluge of sorrow. “Means he’s grown into quite the man, then.”

“Indeed, quite the handsome young man…” Toni wiped away his tears. He no longer cared to wipe away the makeup or bleeding mascara. “He… was the first time I’d ever experienced a crush or attraction like that…”

Jane paused. Part of her wanted to ask about his relationship with Ryley’s sister and his obvious one with Hannah, but set that aside for now. “I lucked out… my first crush was the most wonderful and beautiful woman I have ever met. I swore when we first met, she’d be my wife…”

Tears began flowing once more from Jane, but not even she was sure if they were tears of joy or sadness. She let them flow for a moment, letting herself feel every emotion that crashed into her. Toni and Hannah dutifully waited for the woman to finish.

“I also promised to protect Ryley…” Jane buried her face in her hands. “My beautiful little boy has suffered so much because I failed to protect him.”

Toni practically leapt towards Jane. He embraced her in a tight hug. “No. You didn’t fail. You were betrayed. Some horrendous woman sold Casseus out for gold. Blame her and Casseus’s tormentors. This is not your failure.”

Hannah joined the hug. “Master. You called him Casseus…”

“Ah,” Toni bit his tongue. He swore to not use that name since it was given to Ryley by that woman. “Apologies. He was introduced as Casseus to us.”

“It’s okay,” Jane shuddered. “I’m okay. I-I just miss him so much that it hurts… Please promise to return him to me. Return him to Eve and Claire. I want my family to be reunited.”

Hannah could feel Toni shaking too; the man was in no condition to respond. He was crying too much at the moment. “We will, Mrs. Owens. We’ll bring him and Claire back to you both.”

“Thank you again.” Jane took a long, deep breath to settle her lingering emotions. “I really needed to hear that. And let out all these emotions…”

Hannah giggled softly. “Funny. A member of ours has the same issue sometimes.”

“Guess who inspired me to finally confront these emotions.” Jane shot back, already feeling better. “And thank you for not holding anything back.”

“Of course,” Hannah spoke for Toni. “You deserve to know. Sadly, the boy you knew went through hell and then some. The man he is now may be completely foreign to your memories…”

“I understand that. I always did…” Jane sighed and pulled back from the hug. However, Toni clung to her. “Aww, poor boy… I’m sorry for making you relive that.”

“N-no,” Toni choked up. “I should be comforting you!”

“Shhh,” Jane patted the back of his head. “I’m old. I can handle my emotions better.” Hannah stifled her laugh, which Jane caught. “It’s our job to help the young ones through theirs.”

Toni pulled back and looked up at the woman. His shaky eyes met hers. Gone were the storms of emotion, replaced with the warm, loving emotions of a mother. That made Toni miss his own Mom. He took a shaky breath and wiped his tears once more.

“You make me miss my own mother,” Toni mumbled as he hugged her once more.

“Aww, poor baby,” Jane giggled softly. “Alice, right? I was blown away when she said she was my age.”

“Yeah,” Hannah giggled awkwardly. Her thoughts were not of the wholesome variety after hearing Toni say mother. “She was blessed by Anka to keep her most beautiful form.”

“That’s a shame,” Jane continued to pat Toni’s back. “There is a beauty in aging… watching you kids grow old. Looking back on your life with pride… I hope she still experiences that.”