CH 172: Idle Mind

Claire couldn’t fall back to sleep after waking up, her mind was too busy circling with thoughts. How the gods either allowed suffering to happen, ignored it, or simply didn’t care. Then there was Samira and her importance to the Goddess.

One question answered, too many more created by the answer. Samira is important, but why? How would she purify Samira’s magic? Was it just through Her gift? Then, how does she relate to Marcellus and Bennos? How did any of the three hybrid humans fit in?

For now, it was safe to assume Firewater correlated with Marcellus, leaving Bennos and the unknown Goddess represented by the raven for Silkie and Samira. Claire’s head hurt thinking about it, but she felt confident in Firewater’s connection. Made too much sense given their facial similarities.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her cat leaping onto her bed. She crawled onto Claire’s chest and pawed at Claire. Claire gave it a warm smile before petting it. The cat’s purring soothed her racing mind as it lay on her chest.

“I missed you, too, Boots,” She whispered to her cat. Boots responded with a long, dramatic sigh before settling down and purring.

Petting the cat, she found herself missing her lovers’ comfort right now. Or maybe their guidance. It caused her to think of Lily, leading to an ache within her chest. She hoped the alchemist was already on her way back, it was getting close to a week since they departed from Fyre. She wanted to be with her and them right now. Not all alone, stuck with her thoughts.

At least her time in the dream had been comforting, mostly. Besides the questions Claire had, she enjoyed learning more about Her. How She craves intimacy despite not having a fully developed form yet. It got Claire thinking about what the Goddess would look like when She was fully formed.

Handpicked parts from all her lovers, blending together to make a divine being. The mere thought caused Claire to squirm. She, too, could not wait for that time to come. Claire hoped to indulge in Her divine form when the time came.

Her cat jammed her paw under Claire’s chin, a sign that she stopped petting the cat. Claire giggled and resumed the petting. Boot’s purring soothed the ache in her chest.

Sunlight bled through her curtains, signalling it was finally morning. She expected to hear Jane walking downstairs any minute to start her day. It was nostalgic to think about. The days when her life was much simpler and she was just a farmgirl.

She had the urge to join her mother in the field since it had been a few months. The manual labor would help her navigate her thoughts, giving Claire plenty of time to think. She moved to sit up, only for Boots to let out a sharp, offended yip.

Boots was not done.

So Claire relaxed. She focused on petting her cat, feeling its soft fur. The rhythmic movement and purring finally relaxed her fully. She’d have to be careful, or else she’d fall back to sleep. She did make up her mind to help Jane today. She wanted to spend as much time with her mothers as possible.

She really didn’t know how long they’d even be in Restol, given the boys they rescued. They might have to travel to Lady Efreit’s domain to get them to a safe place. That’d mean leaving her mothers again.

Claire remembered how Eve looked when she left more than two months ago. How sad she seemed watching them leave. Jane was harder to read, being far more stoic in nature. She didn’t want to be away from them.

But she had to.

She needed to leave to get her brother back and get those kids into better hands. Then there would be more for her to do. She made so many promises in those two months she needed to uphold. Find May’s brother, who was also taken from her. Protect Samira, protect the boys. And get their loved ones back.

There was so much she was needed for, so she wanted to be with her mothers. Spend the time she did have with them, even if Eve was mad at her. It was better than being separated.

Boots stretched her arms, digging her claws into Claire’s skin.

“Ow!” Claire cried. She pulled the cat’s paws away from her collar. “You asshole.”

It meowed back at her before jumping off her chest. It sauntered over to another part of the bed before lying down. The cat quickly fell back asleep, leaving Claire alone once again.

Claire let out a long sigh that transitioned into a yawn. “Might as well get going,” Claire muttered to herself as she sat up.

She found her old clothes, ones meant for field work. Her worn boots, her faded shirt that now strained against the muscle she’d gained. The top buttons refused to close, leaving her collar open.

She caught herself in the mirror, noticing what Jane mentioned. She did look far more mature now. More mature than that girl who woke up with a cock on her eighteenth birthday.

Remembering that day brought a smile to her face. That wild morning of being visited by Her, then using Her gift for the first time. It made Claire laugh to remember the state she was in, covered in her own cum with messy bedhead.

She took a deep breath, not allowing herself to get caught up in her lust. She needed to stop now or else she’d recreate that morning. She stretched her arms before getting to her morning routine. She brushed her teeth and tidied her hair, ready to join her mother in farm work.

She descended the stairs, expecting her mother to be in the kitchen. She found Jane brewing coffee and preparing her breakfast. She turned and nearly jumped upon seeing Claire.

“Oh, right,” Jane said with a warm smile. “For a bit, I forgot you were home…”

“Sorry, I should have said something,” Claire said as she sat down. “Mind if I join you today?”

“Oh?” Jane said, grabbing an extra cup. “This is unexpected. Usually, I’d have to drag you out of bed by now.”

“Got used to getting up early,” Claire mumbled. “And… I had a lot on my mind.”

“Mmm, I bet,” Jane muttered. She grabbed the kettle that had just begun to whistle. She poured the boiling water over the coffee grounds as she continued. “Still can’t believe you were chosen by a Goddess. And the Goddess of virility no less…”

“Yeah, it’s surreal,” Claire agreed. She took a deep breath, smelling the coffee her mother was preparing. “Makes me miss farmwork…”

Jane giggled to herself. “It’s a far, far simpler life. But not one you were meant for.”

Her mother handed her a mug of coffee, patting her head as Claire grabbed it. Claire took a sip of the coffee, enjoying its bitter taste. She pondered her mother’s words for a moment before speaking.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t miss it,” Claire said. She meant it fully. She missed waking up to help her mother, then getting a home-cooked meal during lunch. Being around them for dinner. “Life’s gotten so complicated since I left.”

“Kind of comes with the territory,” Jane replied as she prepared their food. “I’d expect being a Goddess’s champion to be very… difficult. Makes us worry.”

“I know,” Claire said as she stared into her mug. “It’s been very dangerous already. Only going to get worse.”

Jane let out a deep sigh. “Enough of that.”

Claire stopped, hearing a pain in her mother’s voice. She knew when to stop with Jane. What she was saying was upsetting her mother.

“Sorry, just needed to vent,” Claire mumbled.

“That’s alright,” Jane said as she flipped the eggs she was preparing. “I just… can’t handle hearing about any of the fighting. Not when we just got you back. Let me enjoy the fantasy first.”

Claire exhaled slowly. She decided to forget about her worries and enjoy her morning with her mother. The questions she had could wait for Lily’s return to discuss. For now, she should focus on them.

She should be happy, not sad or angry. She wanted to savor her time at home.