CH 102: Real Name

Toni felt a pit in his stomach as the oldest boy told him about Casseus's punishment last night. He felt his mouth dry as he listened to how long the boys stayed up to make sure that Casseus was okay. He couldn’t believe anyone could treat these boys like this.

He glanced at the closed door, his guard right outside. A large part of him wanted to order her to help. To fight the guards off as he helped these boys escape. But he knew it was futile. His grandmother’s knights would suffer immense casualties, and his grandmother would lose her authority.

Since coming here, he quickly understood why his grandmother wasn’t popular amongst the nobles. She would never have treated anybody like this. Not boys, not commoners, and not even her enemies.

“Is this why you wanted me here?” He whispered. A quiet question for his Goddess.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder. He looked up to find the eldest boy, Beau, had stopped to comfort him. “At least he’ll be taken to a good healer…”

“But this shouldn’t even be happening… how is this allowed?” Toni cracked with disbelief.

Beau gave him a soft, knowing smile. “Ah, you were sheltered from all this? It’s been the norm for decades… Casseus is the oldest now, but there were boys before him. And boys before them. Many more will replace us as we get older…”

Toni took a moment to process what Beau said. The dead eyes as he spoke. It made the pit in his stomach feel heavier. He took a deep breath and nodded, acknowledging his ignorance.

“I g-get it now…” Toni said, thinking back on his mother’s resistance to the outside world. He could see why she wanted to shield him from all this.

He didn’t get too much time to think about it before hearing muffled voices come from the door. He looked at the door, feeling tension radiating from it. The looks on the boys’ faces told him everything.

The door swung open, revealing that Lilith had returned. Anger was apparent in her expression. She looked down on Toni before rolling her eyes and pulling Casseus forward. She shoved the boy into the room and left.

The boys rushed towards Casseus, but he held his hands up to stop them. “I’m okay…”

Toni’s stomach turned. It was obvious that he wasn’t. He opened his mouth to say something, but Casseus just shook his head.

“Worry not, master Toni.” Casseus said with his practiced smile.

“No. This is cruelty! How can you just brush it off?” Toni said, getting to his feet. He stood before Casseus and examined him. “I-I want to help-”

“Master Toni!” Casseus said, cutting him off. He sighed and recomposed himself, “It’s not worth your life.”

“I’ll make that decision, not you.” Toni retorted. He was too ignorant of all this. While he was pampered and sheltered from all this, these boys were suffering. He gets it now. He understands Claire’s mission. “Casseus… I promise you, and the boys here… we’ll get you out of here.”

Casseus just gave him a weak smile. “Apologies, master Toni… but I’ve heard that hundreds of times.”

“But this time is different! Claire has a Godd-” Toni tried to get out.

“Stop.” Casseus cut him off again, more forcefully this time. “Don’t say her name again…”

Toni stopped for a moment. Caught off guard at the strange request. “Why? Don’t want to hear about her cause?”

“No, master Toni-” Casseus said, clearly uncomfortable. His eyes drifted to the floor.

“Stop calling me that,” Toni interjected, surprising himself with his tone. The word ‘Master’ grated his ears. “I’m not your master. Nor am I above you.”

“I apologize, but I must call you that.”

Toni felt his anger rise. “Then tell me. Tell me why you don’t want to hear Claire’s name again.”

He could see Casseus flinch at her name. His hollow, emerald eyes flickered to life for a moment. Toni’s heart ached. It became clear why that name meant so much to Casseus. Anka’s true reasoning on bringing him here became clear.

“As your master,” Toni said through clenched teeth. “I order you to tell me why.”

“Apolo-” “No. No apologies. Tell me.” Toni’s tone hardened. He was not going to back down.

“But… I can’t…” Casseus’s voice broke, tears forming in his eyes. Beau moved to support him, but Toni moved to intercept him. He raised his hand and blocked the concerned boy from reaching Casseus.

“No. I need to know why. He needs to admit it.” Toni said firmly. It didn’t make sense why that one name made him emotional. “Who is Claire to you?”

Casseus’s knees gave out as his tears began flowing. Toni caught him with an embrace, shifting him to the ground. Toni felt Casseus’s tears soak into his shoulder. His heart pained to force it out of him.

“Please, Casseus… you can whisper it just to me…” Toni whispered softly. He patted the boy's head, trying to calm him.

“I-I can’t… that life was taken from… she’s not my… anymore…” Casseus could barely form words through the sobs.

Toni held him tightly. The two were quickly surrounded by the other boys as they joined in on embracing Casseus.

“Shhh… we’re here for you. Just let it out.” Toni said calmly. He could feel the knot in his stomach soften a bit. The warm embrace helped ease the burden. He took a deep breath and started humming a calming tune for Casseus.

It took a long, quiet moment for Casseus’s tears to stop. The embrace helped him get it all out. Toni’s calming tune helped ground him. He took a few deep breaths to recenter himself.

“Casseus isn’t my real name… it was the one Lady Lloyd forced upon me.” he said at last. Toni tightened his hold on him.

“My real name is Ryley… Claire… she’s my sister… different birth moms, but the same father…”

“Explains the different hair…” Toni said, gently rubbing Casseus’s back. Toni really only remembered her red hair and green eyes.

“Mhmm… Mom, she wanted to give birth too… Share the burden with my other mother… but they lucked out on getting the same dad.” Casseus said with a forced laugh, reaching for his handkerchief. “I-I haven’t seen her in so long… and now she’s…”

“She’s coming to rescue you,” Toni said, gently. “All of you.”

He felt the other boys begin to stir. They slowly untangled from the embrace. Toni pulled back as well, using his skirt to help wipe away Ryley’s tears.

“I understand why Anka wanted me here… She wanted me to meet you, Cass-” Toni said before stopping. He took a breath and corrected himself. “Ryley. She wanted me to meet you. To open my eyes to the suffering I never knew.”

Silence filled the room. Toni took another deep breath. He rose to his feet and dusted his dress off. He composed himself as best as he could before speaking.

“As Anka’s chosen, I promise you, all of you, the day that I return to this estate is the day you shall be set free,” Toni said, more dignified than he had expected. He made up his mind. He was joining this fight.

“And to you, Ryley…” Toni added, softening his tone. “I promise to do so with your sister by my side…”

Ryley wiped his eyes with his handkerchief as his tears slowly flowed. His heart ached with the memories he’d been suppressing. He couldn’t even remember her voice. His chest tightened, but he nodded.

“I-I’ll believe it when I see it, master Toni…” He whispered back.

“Promise me. Promise me, when that day comes, that you’ll drop that ‘master’ title. It sickens me to hear it.” Toni said, puffing his chest out. He could feel the warmth of his Goddess stirring within him, a sign of Her will.

“Yes. If that day comes… I’ll stop calling you master Toni…” Ryley whispered gently. He cleared his throat and stood tall  meeting Toni eye-to-eye. Toni could vaguely see the resemblance to his sister.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my duties to attend to,” Ryley said, straightening his jacket. He glanced at the mirror, tidying and recomposing himself. “Our Lady will not be happy that she didn’t get to enjoy our guest personally… and thank the gods she didn’t…”

Toni opened his mouth, then closed it. He decided he didn’t want to know what that meant. It could wait. Wait for when he returns. He just nodded.

“I truly hope to see you again, Ryley.” He said, feeling a mix of emotions. Longing, sadness, and a bit of warmth.

“As do I, master Toni,” Ryley said with his practiced smile.

Toni sighed before Ryley opened the door for him. Outside stood the guard and Hannah. Before the guard could say a word, Hannah swooped in and picked Toni up in her arms. He was thankful for her, as he didn’t have the strength left to deal with her.

“Want to talk about it?” Hannah asked, her voice softened.

“Not right now,” Toni murmured. He adjusted himself in Hannah’s arms and did his best to hold back his tears.

“Okay,” Hannah said, quickening her pace. “I may not be the best at this… but I can always be a shoulder to cry on.”

“Thank you, Hannah,” Toni said with a smile. “I’ll call for you when the time comes…”