98 — A Monster’s Love III (Conclusion)
Mia's POV:
Mia's hands were shaking so badly she could barely grip the edge of the sink.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror.
Her face was pale, eyes wide and wild. The yellow of her hair seemed to scream against the ashen white of her skin. Who was this girl? This girl with murder in her eyes? This girl who had almost blinded someone over a thoughtless comment?
It was like a switch had been flipped.
One moment, she was having coffee with her friends. The next, a monster had taken over her body. A monster fueled by a possessiveness so absolute, so all-consuming, it terrified her.
She splashed cold water on her face. The shock of it did nothing to calm the tremor in her hands. She gripped the sides of the porcelain basin, her knuckles white, and stared down at the drain. Water swirled around it, disappearing into the darkness.
She thought of Jae-Il.
She thought of his smile.
She thought of his laugh.
She thought of the way his hand felt in hers.
She thought of the way his body fit perfectly against hers, like it was made for no one else.
"There is something wrong with you." Mia whispered, her voice ragged.
But she didn't think it was true.
The problem wasn't that there was something wrong with her.
The problem was that there was something very right.
About her love. About her hate.
What kind of person became so threatened by a passing thought, a harmless joke? What kind of person was actually capable of physically hurting someone over a stupid, irrational moment of jealousy?
Was it really Min-ji's fault?
Mia knew the answer to that question.
Because, as she looked up at her reflection again, she knew, with a certainty that chilled her to the bone, that the monster was still there.
"Haa, fuck..." She bit out, letting out a muffled cry.
The mirror showed it, a savage beauty, a broken creature that has learnt how to wear the face of a human.
A soft knock jolted her back into reality. "Hey." Joo-ri's voice floated through the door, muffled and uncertain. "You alright in there? Mia?"
Mia waited. There was a long pause, and then the unmistakable sound of her friend shuffling further away. Mia straightened up, her heart still hammering, and turned away from the mirror. She didn't want to face what was waiting for her outside the door.
Now Mia just had to make the hard choice to walk out and pretend that it had never happened. It was the only thing she could do.
She ran a trembling hand through her hair, willing her composure to return. She was okay. It was over. She was fine. She splashed more water on her face, brushed her hair, fixed her make up, did her best to appear calm and collected. And then, after one last deep breath, she pulled open the bathroom door and stepped out.
There, not two metres away, was Joo-ri, her best friend, her confidant, leaning against the wall across the hall, her expression unreadable. Mia felt her heart skip a beat.
The sight of that familiar face sent a mixture of guilt and dread swirling in her stomach.
"Mom let you in again?"
"Should she have not?"
"Maybe I should have slapped a note on the bathroom door. 'CAUTION, HYSTERICAL HUMAN BEING AHEAD' or something like that." She chuckled weakly. "Joo-ri... I've never felt so mortified or close to unhinged as I did back in that goddamn café."
Joo-ri let out a humorless huff, shaking her head as she pushed herself up straight. "I mean, this time you have to place the blame right where it belongs—on your lap."
"Blaming the victim here, eh?" Mia curled her lip into a cynical smile, half joking, half serious.
Joo-ri rolled her eyes, flicking some invisible dust off her shoulder, sauntering her way over. "You kinda... snapped back there." She flashed a smile, tentative, guarded, searching. "Can you tell me what that was all about? It was... well, you know what it was. Hell, you even scared me. I've never seen you so mad before. Scary shit. Your glare? Seriously." She visibly shuddered at the reminder of those scary moments. "Anyway, I just wanna understand where this all comes from. Honestly, the whole thing's giving off crazy ex-girlfriend vibes and you and Jae-Il..." She stopped mid sentence, the silence saying more than enough. "Shit, what am I even saying anymore?" She breathed out.
"Joo-ri..." Mia gulped, feeling a little naked now that Joo-ri finally decided to point out the elephant in the room. "Jae-il is my brother, it's normal—"
"—To try and impale another girl with a dessert utensil?" Joo-ri offered dryly. "I would not use the 'normally-stable, great big sister' stereotype right now, dearie. You really screwed yourself, there." She took a sharp breath, taking a long, drawn-out pause before she spoke. "You almost hurt someone, Mia. Like, really, really hurt someone."
A slap could be forgiven. A broken tooth a consequence of a fight gone out of control. Sure. But a gouged eye? A disfigured face?
Mia wanted to crawl under a rock and hide, her face already flushed from the sheer humiliation that came with knowing that she'd snapped in front of her closest friend. And worst of all? In front of other people. "I didn't—I didn't mean to hurt her, or anyone else... I..."
Joo-ri cut her off, clearly having a speech she'd been itching to make. "It's not the first time your nasty temper's gotten the better of you." She cocked her head, one hand on her hip. "You've nearly attacked two girls back at school, Mia. Two girls. And all they did was look a tad too much at your bro, and he wasn't even in the same fucking space!"
"......"
"Seriously, what's so wrong about someone looking at him? Or wanting his number. You know that this will keep happening. He'll become a celebrity sooner than you think. How the hell will you react then?"
"......."
"Look, I don't know why you're being like that. The only reason I can come up right now is enough to make me sick to my stomach, and I doubt that it's exactly it, I guess, considering, I dunno, the fact he is, well, your little bro, and all of this would sound like gross incest talk if it was from anyone else."
She gave Mia a pensive, almost accusing, look. As if trying to make sure that Mia didn't confirm her worst fears or, perhaps, that they were right.
"No, Joo-ri! How... how could you even—" The scathing look Mia leveled at her best friend was enough to alleviate Joo-ri of her worst fears, not knowing how close to the truth she truly was.
"Just saying. A guy like him's gonna catch the eye of tons of chicks out there. Tons of guys, as well. He's attractive, dear. That face. That smile. That talent. The 'look-but-don't-touch' kinda attitude and look. If he wasn't your little brother, I would be gushing at him, as well. And you know that there's no guy out there, no matter how hot, and popular, and high on the sex appeal ladder, that could possibly resist me."
Joo-ri had that charm. Mia was all too aware of that, of how pretty, kind, smart, friendly and warm-hearted Joo-ri was to have the ability to captivate men's hearts.
But if anyone dared lay a finger on her brother...
"He's fifteen." Mia said softly.
"You think that's gonna stop people? You're crazy if you think his age is a valid reason for others to resist him. Girls... no, scratch that, people in general will not give a single fuck who's he is or what age. He's hot. A famous kid. And they want what they want." Joo-ri rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index, voice becoming grave. "In light of all of this, Mia... talk to me. What's wrong? How can I help? What are you going through?"
Her words sounded distant, muffled.
The roar of blood in Mia's ears was deafening. She could only see the way Min-ji's lips had curved, how her eyes had darkened at the sight of him.
She took a deep breath, unclenching her fists, and sighed. "She just said things... about my baby brother... things that were not appropriate, that she had no right to think about or say." Mia muttered.
Joo-ri's face went stony, then thoughtful, before softening to a simple expression of resignation. "I can smell bullshit when I hear it, Mia. No way that's the entire problem here. I've been friends with you for far too long to buy your act."
"What do you expect me to tell you, then, Joo-ri?!" Mia exclaimed with exasperation, unable to stand that interrogative look that her best friend was giving her, nor did she like how persistent she was being. "Yes, okay. Yes, I lost control back there, but... he... he is my brother. It's a purely family thing."
"Yeah, I'd buy that, had he been, say, Yong-jae, and we both know that dude is just a bit too sleazy. Anyway, fuck him." Joo-ri snorted. "Look, can we please be real and just have an adult conversation, at long last, huh? I'm no detective, Mia, you're the one with that bloodhound-like nose that sniff's out bullshit faster than anything."
Mia kept silent.
She refused to feed the suspicion.
Even a lie would raise more questions than an insistent nothing.
The nothing was a lie, because Joo-ri might buy her behaviour as her own protective-older-sister bullshit, but she wouldn't know the depth of such protectiveness, how it ran deeper than familial love; the lust and craze for it.
It wasn't obsession, not exactly—it simply couldn't have been. There was no way it was.
She was too rational and aware and careful to even want to call it anything resembling madness. She loved Jae-il, truly, without conditions or questions or compromise.
"Mia..."
"Please, stop." Mia said through gritted teeth. "Just... leave me alone, okay?"
Joo-ri visibly deflated. "Mia."
"I said leave." Mia glared at her friend, then looked away right after, as if suddenly seared with guilt.
As the seconds passed, Mia just waited, tensing more and more in her position.
Until.
"Right. Fine." And right there, in front of her was that defeated expression she was all too familiar with. Joo-ri cast a last worried glance in her direction before heading for the door.
And like any other self respecting young woman, she slammed it closed on her way out, too.
"......"
Mia took her lower lip in between her teeth and bit down. Hard. She tasted blood. It made her stomach churn.
She didn't remember ever wanting to lash out that badly. At Min-ji. At Joo-ri. But, at this point, Joo-ri wasn't actually in fault. It was her that was acting irrationally.
Mia sank her head into her hands and drew a deep breath, telling herself to pull together. She had to go outside, collect her emotions and face the music like an adult. She slowly reached her phone, a tiny smile breaking out the moment she saw Jae-il's face on her home screen, smiling back at her.
God, just the mere sight of it.
Mia's heartbeat sky-rocketed just thinking about the possibility of what might occur if he ended up dating someone, or was to engage in something intimate with an admirer. The mere idea was enough to drive her off the edge.
"I need to calm down. Stop being so jealous..."
But how could she, though? Just the thought itself was enough to make her face red. 'If I see him, I'll feel better. I need to see him...'
She unlocked her screen and went directly for the message application, not checking anything else, and straight for Jae-il's chat, which topped everything and everyone else. A little heart next to his name to stand as the proof.
She began to type away.