69 — Corrosion of Morality

Mia’s POV:

What is the price of one's own dignity?

The answer would obviously vary from person to person, though most would still say they have dignity no matter what it is they've done—or has been done to them.

Mia, however, wasn't so certain of her dignity, as she wondered whether selling the remains of it and using said remains as fuel to sneak into the training camp her little brother was training at to meet him wasn't a little bit too extreme a step to take.

Then again, these days her dignity was a bit questionable, at best.

Illegal? Sure. Desperate? Most definitely. Two sides of one fucked-up coin.

Still, if she were to succeed, it would mean taking the first step in making herself feel less of a wistful mess, and more of a grounded woman with a semblance of her dignity intact. So it was worth the try.

The thought churned her with giddiness. It had been a while since they last saw each other. She needed the change of pace, the familiar sight of his face, his annoying grin, his stupid, macho stoicism when he tried to be serious. And she just missed the sight of him, period. She was going a little, if not quite a little more insane the longer she spent time thinking of the boy with purple eyes.

She wouldn't survive at this rate.

"I'm coming to visit you, dear little brother. Whether you like it or not."

She snapped a quick text to him, to let him know she’d be climbing barbed fences and fighting hellhounds if it meant being able to meet him. Because in this case, the potential danger wasn't the thing that made her hesitate, rather the idea of him refusing her.

It didn’t cross her mind even once that Jae-il might see her unwanted presence as something invasive. In fact, he told her he loved having her around and appreciated her support.

As a sister. Nothing more, nothing less. She reminded herself of that to keep her wits together.

Him, her. Family. Siblings. Blood and Bond.

And yet, she never felt quite as intimate to anyone as much as she was with him. Not Joo-ri, not Su Ah, not her dad, not her mom. Not anybody. No, instead, she felt as though it were almost taboo. She didn't even hesitate anymore at the thought. It was as simple as that.

Something so dangerous. So wrong. That she'd give away even the shreds of dignity that remained for the taste of his skin on hers. For the fire to sear her lungs. Her core. Her mind, to be clear of all thoughts other than his presence.

Just one touch from him, she felt. She knew, was worth giving everything away for.

Even knowing that the fire she was stoking would burn both of them eventually. She was okay with that risk. More than willing to pay whatever it would cost if it meant, for a fleeting moment, to feel like they had before he left for the World Cup.

Lifeless.

That was what she felt like for weeks now.

Empty.

Selfish.

Mia was painfully aware—even as she tightly tied her laces—how selfish it was of her to consider this entire scheme. If she really wanted, all she needed to do was contact the manager, schedule an appointment, and simply request for her and Su Ah to be granted access to the training grounds.

But she didn't want the fuss. She wanted anonymity. She wanted to be alone with him, uninterrupted and unseen.

As she stood up, her heart thundered in her chest. Was this what Jae-il felt like right before a very important game? The anxiety. The anticipation. The sheer nervous energy flowing in one's veins like adrenaline-infused liquid nitrogen.

Mia grabbed her bag. Tossed in a hoodie. Phone. Nothing more. She didn’t need anything more. She just needed him.

Though she wouldn't say no to a little drizzle of perfume to smell nice as a bonus, perhaps.

In her last step before her bedroom door, she glanced in the mirror and smoothed the lines on her casual, bluish white-hoodie outfit. Ran a hand through her hair, so it framed her face. Licked her lips. Tried her best smile. Didn't even have to try, just the thought of him set her grin afloat, easy and unbound.

She pulled her hoodie on, and sighed softly.

Her phone buzzed almost immediately. Jae-il. Seen.

“Don’t get caught. There’s a side entrance near the east fence. I’ll meet you there. Hurry.”

Mia’s pulse spiked. Relief, thrill, fear—they all collided and crashed and receded into each other as her thoughts grew into an ocean storm. She couldn't stand still. He knew. He knew. And he wasn’t angry. He was helping.

She shook her head, a ragged giggle bubbling forth. “Crazy… we’re both crazy.”

Maybe it was genetic? Who knows.

The streets were quiet. Empty. Quiet. Night had fallen a long, long time ago, so no one was outside save a handful of occasional late night joggers or a group of friends who chose to party with music on. Her surroundings were hazy in her eyes, even with the street lights and the orange-tinged lamps that cast downwards from high up windows.

It felt unreal, as she marched forwards with haste. She expected herself to run into her brother any second now, around this block, at that park, maybe as he was coming back from his daily jog in a fit of good timing.

The Korea National Center was quite a ways off, considering Seoul was a bustling metropolis that stretched on and on and on. And it would require a short taxi ride to get there, but Mia didn’t fancy spending money on an unnecessary trip.

The building loomed ahead, a sprawling complex of concrete and steel, with its white high walls and secured gates. Trimmed green fields and well-maintained tracks surrounded the area. Quite the sophisticated place.

When Mia got to the wall, she checked her phone for the umpteenth time to ensure that she wasn’t at the wrong spot. The last thing she wanted was to suspiciously loiter around and then be seen by the security. She maintained a safe distance from the walls, in case of security cameras.

After a bit more searching—the damn place was big—she reached the designated entrance. East fence. Side entrance. Must've been that one. Except that no one was there.

Mia began to nervously bite her fingernails, her mind running wild with the possibility of him being caught, her whole plan ruined. She was already too close to turn back. This was going to happen. It had to.

Seconds ticked.

And then—splash!

Mia yelped, jerking back. Her face was wet on one side.

“Got you.” Jae-il said, from above. She looked up to find her brother, all freshly showered and groomed and stunning and handsome, looking at her.

He held a tiny water gun pointed her way, and used his finger to mimic the action of pulling a trigger. The damn thing had hit her right on her cheek. The look of triumph on his stupid, handsome face should be illegal. Mia bristled, her irritation at the prank melting into pure happiness, just like that.

She didn't need to bother keeping her smile from blooming, she figured, not with him, so she grinned at him instead and a full-hearted, unbridled smile cracked his visage open. It felt a little too warm on her cheeks.

They laughed softly in sync, quietly chuckling under the silence, like two kids sneaking around when they were not allowed. Jae-il hushed a couple more times until his mirth calmed down, and she did the same.

She put her hands on her hips and glanced to the gate, checking to see if she'd get spotted by someone, or if it were truly only the two of them.

There wasn't even a guard on sight.

The coast, so far, was clear.

Jae-il closed the window and walked down, until the side entrance whirred open. "There you are—"

Mia slammed onto him like a bullet train.

Jae-il instinctively circled his arms around the waist and torso of the woman crashing into him. It was easy. It was right where his hand had fit the longest time. His own sister.

"I've missed you so fucking much."

He was caught off-guard.

"I missed you too."

She hugged him tightly, burying her nose in the space where the collarbone connected to his neck, and inhaled. He smelled wonderful—of soap, fresh towels, mint shampoo, and that musk. So natural, so close, so... real.

God, she missed him so much.

So very badly. To the point that she couldn't stand to wait a moment more. To the point that his absence hurt.

He could feel his body tense and relax in equal amounts, every second they held each other.

It was only the increasing risk of their prolonged presence there that made her step away, letting him go, her body already shivering from the lack of heat. She looked up at him, noticing how he had bulked up a little, how his jaws had become sharper and more chiseled, how the childish traces were quickly fading off.

His shoulders were broader, his build firmer, and he seemed to have grown a good inch in their brief parting. Jae-il wore a shirt underneath his South Korea uniform hoodie. Casual, like hers. It fit snugly. Not too snug, mind you, but... enough that he looked really fucking attractive in that ensemble.

"Well, hello." She smiled at him. A tiny grin that quickly twisted seductively as she bit her bottom lip. She didn’t mean for it to come off that way, but her mouth had a mind of its own, it seemed.

He huffed. "Come on, let's get going. I kind of had to bribe the security guy to get him out of his station for a minute so that he wouldn't see you enter or leave." And then he reached out to pull her hoodie up, partially hiding that floral mane of hers. "Just to err on the side of caution."

"I'm your sister, Jae-il." She tilted her head quizzically; an innocent facade. She could pull it off way too well. "What kind of caution would I need with you, my adorable little brother?"