22 — Intermission ~ Eun Ha’s Inner Turmoil

Eun Ha's POV:

It was late in the evening, the sky painted in hues of deep blue.

Eun Ha found herself staring at the ceiling, her thoughts fire dumpster.

Beside her, Yeong Gu's snores echoed through the room, a sound she had long since become accustomed to.

She turned on her side, her gaze falling on her husband's sleeping face. He looked peaceful, his features relaxed. Once, a smile would have flitted across those lips of hers. Maybe she'd have reached out and caressed his cheek. Now, she simply stared at him, her eyes searching for something in his face that she couldn't quite define.

Oh, how she wished she could be so at ease. To sleep so soundly, without a care in the world.

But her mind wouldn't quiet down.

Truth certainly was a strange thing. It had a way of sneaking up on you, of catching you off guard. And when it did, it hit you hard, leaving you reeling. Eun Ha, for once, came to learn how to control the flow of her tears. They no longer came unbidden, like a sudden storm. Instead, she'd have to search for the pain, to will it into existence.

She closed her eyes, her hand reaching for her husband's arm. She traced the lines of his skin with her fingers, her touch light, barely there.

And then, she exhaled, her breath a whisper in the dark.

"Why did you do it...?"

She didn't want it to be a question, for her voice was so low it couldn't have possibly been heard.

But she really wanted to hear it from him, the reason, the motive that pushed this family man, always so kind and caring, to seek another woman's touch. Not just any—it wasn't a sudden attraction that had her husband's eyes wandering, not even an old flame.

The worst of the worst.

Prostitues.

Girls that were barely past adulthood.

Eun Ha, despite not being as young as these girls, was still regarded as a highly beautiful woman. She took care of herself, and she knew it. She was attractive, as pale and soft as she'd always been. Her body was slim and her curves were still there, even after birthing three children.

So... why?

Why did he do it? Why did he throw everything away?

She'd been a good wife. She'd been a good mother. And yet, here they were.

Yeong Gu, her husband, the man she'd loved and trusted, had broken her heart, shattered their family. Hell, at least he could've hidden it better. Delete the texts. The calls. But no—

Oh, god.

Yeong Gu stirred in his sleep, turning over onto his side, his back now facing her. Eun Ha let out a sigh, a mixture of frustration and resignation.

She'd been going through the motions for weeks now. Pretending everything was okay. Because, it didn't matter as much as the kids. The family. The one she'd spent her whole life building.

She shook her head and clambered out of the bed. She padded out of the room, moving quietly, the floor creaking ever so slightly under her weight.

A trip to the kitchen, then a trip to the bathroom.

Eun Ha somehow found herself in the living room, staring out the window, vacantly.

Sad thing she didn't smoke. She wondered if a cigarette now would've made her feel better. Eased her pain. Gave her lungs something to do other than fill with grief.

Mother always told her that smoking was unladylike. But then again, mother also told her that a woman who couldn't keep her man wasn't a woman at all. Maybe if she'd done things differently, Yeong Gu would have remained faithful.

Eun Ha scoffed at the thought. She'd been a fool. She'd given everything to this man, and he'd repaid her with betrayal and deceit.

"Mother?"

She started, turning her head to find her youngest son standing in the doorway, his hair a mess, his eyes heavy with sleep. "Jae-il...? What are you doing up so late?"

He stifled a yawn. "I'm thirsty."

She blinked, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Walking over to the fridge, she grabbed a bottle of water, then handed it to him as she took a seat at the counter. Propping her chin in her hand, she watched him quietly.

Her smile widened—this time out of pride. Her son was surely growing up to be a strikingly handsome young man.

A face devoid of any flaws. A well-defined jawline. A sharp nose. Eyes that seemed to hold all the wisdom in the world. Purple, just like hers. And messy hair that framed his face perfectly.

At just fifteen, he was already considerably taller than anyone else in the household, and with a lean and muscular frame.

Eun Ha's heart ached as she stared at him. It was almost unbelievable, how quickly he'd grown. It felt like only yesterday she'd been cradling him in her arms, watching him take his first steps, hearing him speak his first words, and scoring his first goal.

And now... now he was a rising star.

No, a rising star meant that he'd already established his fame. But Jae-il was a comet. His trajectory wasn't one that was easily predicted, and he burned so brightly that everyone was watching with bated breath.

Eun Ha's eyes flicked to his arms, noticing the prominent outlines of muscles.

He had worked hard.

He had worked himself to the bone.

And she was proud of him, prouder than she'd ever been of anything else in her life.

A stray curl of hair fell over the side of her face. She eyed him up and down, smiling. "You'll always be special, Jae-il. Don't forget that."

He paused, his gaze meeting hers. A small, almost imperceptible nod. Then he resumed drinking, the water disappearing quickly.

"You'll go so far, Jae-il. So far..." Her voice trailed off, and she swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion.

After all, she'd heard the rumor. Academy Director Lee, The Club Board, and the Head Coach. They all wanted her son on their team. He'd be the first to make the leap, a straight promotion to the big leagues. Or the closest thing to it, anyway. She didn't quite understand it that well.

All she knew, as well as everyone else, was that that it was only a matter of time before he was whisked away to the bright lights of Europe.

Hard not to when even Best Eleven made a worshipping article about her youngest.

Eun Ha wasn't sure if she was ready for that.

And she'd be lying if she said she didn't wish she could keep him close. But that's not how things worked. She couldn't cage him, couldn't clip his wings. "Huh?" When she snapped out of her daze, Jae-il was sitting in front of her. Quietly, at least for a moment.

Finally seeing some sort of clarity returning to her eyes, he tilted his head, blinking slowly. "Are you alright?"

Eun Ha smiled softly, reaching out to softly palm his cheek. "I'm fine, honey. Just thinking about things." A pause. "Why would you ask that?"

He hummed, his expression unreadable as he played with the empty bottle. "It's been a while that I've noticed, but you've been... looking at the world through a foggy lens, lately."

She frowned, her hand dropping to her side. "I don't understand."

"You have the face of someone who's not really here, mother. You're physically present, but your thoughts are somewhere else. Hmm. Does it make more sense?"

Eun Ha swallowed thickly. "Oh, that." She waved her hand dismissively, forcing a laugh. "It's nothing, honey. Just a bit tired, that's all."

"Well... I've noticed a bunch of other things as well." He continued, his tone casual. "You're not talking to dad as much. You're not laughing as much. You're not eating as much."

"Jae-il, dear, I'm fine." She insisted. "You don't have to worry about me."

He stared at her for a moment, his gaze intense. She srunk a little, looking away. Finally, he nodded, though his expression didn't change. "Okay. But, I'm always here for you if you need to talk. I may not have all the answers, but I can at least listen. And... if father did something bad to you, I can always punch him in the teeth." He ended with a laugh.

Her eyes widened. "Jae-il! Don't say such things."

He rolled his eyes, standing up and tossing the bottle in the trash. "Well, it's true." He looked at her. "He's not hurting you, is he? You'd tell me if he did, right?"

She shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together. "No, of course not—!! And why do you think your father's hurting me, anyway?"

"I've seen you two so happy for so long." Jae-il said. "So, for things to suddenly change like this, I can only assume the worst."

She sighed, rubbing her temples. "Honey... I appreciate your concern, but I promise you, it's nothing like that. We're just... going through a rough patch." She wasn't lying, exactly. Just bending the truth. She didn't want her son to worry about her, not when he had his own dreams to chase. She would handle this, in her own way. She didn't want to burden him with her troubles.

Jae-il leaned against the opposite counter, crossing his arms. The posture was casual. He was observing her, the way he likley observed an opponent’s defense from the halfway line, seeing the structure, the weaknesses, the inevitable point of collapse.

Eun Ha’s breath hitched. She felt a sudden, absurd urge to cover herself, though she was perfectly decent in her nightgown. It was the way he was looking at her.

Not with the sleepy concern of a son, but with an unnerving, analytical stillness.

The way a wolf might watch a struggling rabbit, not with malice, but with a simple, terrible understanding of the situation.

"Going through a rough patch." He repeated, mostly to himself. "Right."

He stared at her, head tilted, as if he was diagnosing a problem, but not with her at the root of it.

And for a second, a long, stretched-out second that felt like a rubber band pulled to its snapping point, he wasn't Jae-il. The low-wattage kitchen light carved out the planes of his face, making him almost a stranger at that moment. He wasn’t his father, Yeong Gu, whose features had grown soft and chubby with easy living and easier lies.

This was her son, who was becoming someone she'd never known. A man with a career, with a life of his own, with a mind and will of his own. Not just her little boy anymore. Not just the baby she'd cradled and rocked and fed at her breast.

This young man, he had his own battles. His own demons. His own truths.

She could feel a hot, shameful blush creeping up her throat. Gosh!

"Oh well, if you say so..." He finally said, breaking the tension. "But don't forget what I said, mother. I don’t understand the full story, and that’s not my place. But I can see how it’s affecting you—and I won’t pretend it doesn’t matter. Whatever your choice is, know that I'm more than willing to talk it out, or punch it out. Though I'm pretty sure that's not something you'd like to see. I'm a room away, if you need me."

Eun Ha let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Jae-il. I really appreciate it. Now off to bed with you. Seriously! Shoo! Shoo!" She waved her hands, herding him out of the kitchen, a playful scowl on her face. "It's late! You have school tomorrow!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going." He chuckled, allowing himself to be pushed towards the stairs. "Goodnight, mother."

"Goodnight, honey. Sweet dreams." She said softly, watching him disappear into the shadows of the upstairs hallway.

She exhaled slowly, leaning back against the wall, her heart racing.

Her son.

He was her pride and joy, the light of her life. And yet, he could be so...

Eun Ha shook her head. She wasn't sure what that had been about, but she wasn't going to dwell on it. Her family was her family, her problems were her problems, and Jae-il was... well, he was Jae-il. Unnervingly smart and mature. She had long stopped questioning it.

She made her way back to her room, and slipped quietly under the covers, careful not to stir Yeong Gu awake.

"......"

Yet sleep did not come easy, as it wouldn't for more nights to come.