141 — Mother and Daughter IV (Conclusion)

Eun Ha's POV:

Mia laughed. A painful, tight laugh that sounded more like a wheeze. "You must be insane, mom. We're... brother and sister! How can you say these things...?"

Eun Ha blinked a couple times, as if she was coming out of a daze, then nodded stiffly. "I know, honey... but... it can't be helped, given what I've heard..."

"Then you must be imagining stuff, because nothing's going on!" Mia shook her head vehemently, then put her hands on her hips, expression accusative. "Really. Where's this coming from, mom?"

Eun Ha fought the urge to sigh.

Here it went. A perfectly nice, lazy, nail-painting mother and daughter moment was tarnished beyond repair by a simple question.

Truthfully, it wasn't just a simple question, because what Eun Ha was implying was way more... and still she couldn't bring herself to say the actual words. She simply couldn't push through this invisible mental barrier.

"I know it's difficult to understand, honey, but this isn't an accusation. I'm... worried. You see, if anything were to happen between the two of you, there are repercussions. Serious ones." Eun Ha was honest and blunt. At least about that. "... and I'm your mother. This is my job. To watch over you, protect you... guide you when you're at the brink of stumbling and losing your way."

Mia's mouth hung wide open. "You... you really believe that's what we've been doing..." Then she started to laugh. She held her sides, doubled over, tears springing to her eyes. "Oh, mom. That was a good joke."

Eun Ha saw what was coming. "Mia..."

"Wait." Mia said, abruptly ceasing the hysterics as her laughter abruptly faded. "Wait, wait, wait... wait." She took a step back, the seriousness of the situation slowly dawning upon her. "You don't seriously think... that I could actually... gosh, mom, he's fucking fifteen!"

A tremor passed through Eun Ha, and she drew in a shaky breath.

Fifteen. Yes.

She knew very well how old her youngest child was, and there were times she wished he was a couple of years older, just so she'd feel less disgusted about herself. Because with Jae-il being an underage boy, it added layers upon layers of moral gunk on what was already a highly immoral situation on her part.

So, if God was looking at his long list of names, Eun Ha's would've been crossed off with holy fire.

"Age isn't everything, honey. There are people who are born far more mature than their peers. Take Jae-il's case—"

"This isn't the best comparison to make, mom." Mia interrupted, sounding almost pained.

"Right, still..."

"No, mom, chill out! Please." Mia gave her mother a weird look. Eun Ha had the audacity to look abashed—it wasn't a conversation she thought she'd ever had to have with anyone, much less her children.

But her tone of voice carried urgency.

"All I'm saying is, you two are far too close. So, listen... I want you to put some space between the two of you. Not for me, not for anyone else. Only for you. Think of this as your conscience speaking." Her voice was soft as she made this demand, almost pleading. "You deserve the world, Mia. Please remember that. But if there's one thing I will never condone, it's that."

"You..."

Mia's eyes were glassy, wide, unblinking.

Eun Ha grimaced. "I hope this is merely my paranoia speaking. I do not wish for this to become an issue... but it could, it easily can if it isn't nipped in the bud."

She couldn't believe she was asking such things of Mia, asking her to stay away from her younger brother. But if this was the only way, so be it. Better safe than sorry.

If this kept up and Eun Ha discovered this was real, and she was not just imagining things, what was she going to do? Go to Yeong Gu and have a chat? A sit-down discussion about their children? How she's noticed something wrong going on between his underage, precious and bright star?

Or how Eun Ha herself was going through the same shit. Perhaps that would've worked wonders. And she'd also get locked up in a psychiatric hospital. No question.

She didn't even want to imagine a scenario where both mother and daughter did therapy together over their own feelings for Jae-il.

Even Dr. Han's impassiveness would crack at that.

"Stop blaming this on your 'paranoia' or whatever and please just..." Mia let out a small whimper, her lower lip trembling. "Trust me? Trust me, please, just once. I've done nothing wrong."

"It's not a matter of whether you've done wrong, dear. It's about where your actions will lead you if you aren't careful." Eun Ha pointed out, not wanting her daughter to think of her intentions as being hurtful and harmful towards the girl. "I apologize if I'm truly wrong, but as a mother, this is all I have to offer."

"You want me to stay away from Jae-il...?" Mia muttered, her hair now falling all over her eyes.

Eun Ha shook her head. "I would never ask you to do that, I'm just saying... limit the amount of times you interact with him. Reduce your activities." Her shoulders sagged. "It's better safe than sorry, honey. Forgive me for sounding like a lunatic, but I have your well-being in mind. Just remember that, and don't think badly of me. What if someone sees, or even pictures and films it? Think about Jae-il. And do it for him."

"No one will film anything because there's nothing to fucking film!" Mia ground out. "God, I... I can't believe this... and no, I won't stop interacting with him. He's my family, mom, just like Su Ah, dad and you. Or will you ask that of me too...? Tell me to avoid Su Ah, dad and you too?"

"Of course not. But I can't prevent it from happening if there is indeed something to take a hold of between the two of you. As I've said, Mia, I've heard disturbing things in that phone call. I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you for eavesdropping on something so private, but this, I cannot let it pass by. Not unnoticed." Eun Ha fumbled, and the thing in her gut grew with a terrifying rapidity. "So, please..."

'Mom, you're going to alienate her like this, you know that? She's gonna hate you.' Jae-il said into her ear.

'It's the only right thing to do... for this family.' Eun Ha responded mentally.

'Hm, you're not doing this just to..." Jae-il's voice stuttered in faux surprise. 'Get rid of the competition, right? No, right? Of course not...'

His voice trailed away.

Eun Ha tightened her fists until they turned white, ignoring the voice in her head.

Stupid voice managed to follow her outside of her dreams.

Mia sighed heavily, brushing her hair away from her face, leaving no sign of her breakdown. But Eun Ha could read it in the air. She could feel it like a sudden rain drop, the bitter shift in her daughter's mood. Eun Ha had never seen such coldness in her daughter's eyes. Every trace of warmth had been drained like air from a deflating balloon.

'Look what you did, mom.' Jae-il whispered.

'I'm trying to fix it.'

'No, you're not. You're making it worse.'

"I see." Mia said quietly. The two simple words dropped like ice cubes.

"So... do I have your word, Mia?" Eun Ha pushed, her own hands trembling in her lap.

Mia looked at her, her expression unreadable. "My word..." She repeated, slowly. "About what?"

"About keeping your distance from Jae-il."

"......"

"You know what, mom? No, you don't have my word." Mia said, her tone low, her own knuckles white from all the straining. "I'm tired. I'm not going to entertain this delusion any longer. Seriously, it's disgusting that you'd even insinuate something like this. I have to study. And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bother me with this kind of talk again."

Her hair was wild, loose strands curling like Medusa's snakes. Then, she began to turn away, Eun Ah's chest clenching as she was at a loss. She was helpless, completely.

She watched her daughter as she left the living room in a huff, a little storm that rattled all the nail polishes Eun Ha had tucked neatly back into their box.

One of them tipped and fell.

Eun Ha's eyes were on her daughter's back, vanishing upstairs. The floorboards squeaked until her footsteps receded.

Then she was gone.

Eun Ha sat frozen on the sofa. "Have I done the right thing...?" She massaged her forehead.

'No one likes to hear this, mom. That their kid is fucking a guy five years younger, and related. The related part is more important than all of this age stuff, because, seriously, in this day and age? No one gives a fuck anymore. Do you think she'll go fuck my brains out as a counter response?'

Eun Ha shivered, and mentally tried to chase off that sinister presence. 'Please stop talking like this.'

'She'll talk to me, and she'll cry on my shoulder, and maybe she'll even throw a tantrum or two, and then I'll just say, hey. Who cares about mom? Maybe she just feels lonely because dad's never there, and that makes her see and think stuff, who knows. Or maybe she's just as depraved as you are. Seriously, this is so fucked up, right?'

'Jae-il. Please...' Eun Ha croaked internally as tears slowly rolled down her face.

'I told you, mom. The door is still there...'

Eun Ha sniffed, eyes staring where Mia had been, and she could've sworn she could see Jae-il's silhouette sitting there, lazy, arms hanging out of the edge, that young, slender body clad in an old T-shirt, face beaming.

She didn't say anything, she just stared at those imaginary purple eyes staring back at her.

Because he wasn't real. A pigment of her own sick imagination. A persistent ghost of her own making.

His eyes fell on the floor.

She followed his line of sight.

The nail polish that dropped earlier had its cap open and the purple-pinkish contents spilled over the carpet.

'I'll be waiting until you fall asleep...'

Eun Ha looked up, miserably.

He was gone.

"......"