125 — The Road to Hell

Mia's POV:

No answer.

But the lights were on. And Mia could see a shadow on the floor. Someone was there, someone awake. She knocked again. Harder. Fists banging.

Loud, noisy, disruptive. The wood rattled. She was losing her shit in plain sight. This was a familiar situation. Anger. Jealousy. Possessiveness. A single train wreck of mental instability and unholy rage.

This wasn't the first time, and it sure wouldn't be the last.

In moments like these Mia had to wonder, was all this just part of her nature, or was it a result of all the stress and anxiety that piled upon each other because of her guilty pleasure and aberrant attraction.

Mia jiggled the doorknob.

She never tried entering Su Ah's room without permission.

However, her patience was running short, and the frustration in her was about to explode into a detonating mess, like a volcano.

Fuck permission.

Mia pushed and pulled, her face scrunching into a snarl the more she yanked the handle. The damn thing simply wouldn't budge.

Then, the door flew open so fast the air slapped Mia's face.

Su Ah stood there, her hoodie still rumpled, hair wild, eyes red-rimmed like she'd been crying or rubbing them for hours. "What the hell, Unnie?" She hissed. "What's wrong with you?"

"......"

Mia blinked. Then she composed herself, because being undone in the open like this wasn't an option. Especially since Su Ah looked positively a mess. She smiled the small, polite smile she used on teachers and aunties and the old lady at the corner shop. "Can I come in?"

"I was about to go to sleep. Go away."

"I will." Mia said. "As soon as I talk with you. Two minutes."

"Don't have anything to talk about." Su Ah folded her arms. "Let me sleep in peace."

Mia didn't move. She just stared, the polite smile still glued on, but her eyes were flat, like a cat watching a bird behind glass.

"Two minutes." She repeated, softer.

Su Ah tried to shut the door.

Mia's palm hit the wood first with enough force to rattle it.

The door stayed open, not like the damn thing had much of a choice with a positively wrathful Mia standing there.

Su Ah's breath hitched. She took one step back.

Mia slid inside, smooth as smoke, and closed the door with her foot. Click.

The room felt smaller now.

Mia leaned her back against the door. Guarding it.

Su Ah gritted her teeth. "Say it and leave."

Mia stayed quiet. The two sisters studied each other silently.

She wasn't surprised how easily they could read what the other was feeling.

Because it was obvious how much Su Ah was struggling with something and couldn't stand being confronted with any of the reasons for why it was happening. She was hoping her older sister didn't have anything to talk with, yet here she was.

Mia watched. She saw the nervous shuffling, the fidgeting, the slight tremble in those thin shoulders.

Su Ah sighed and tilted her head, blinking, her eyes fixed to the floor. A drop of sweat traced along the sharp angle of her cheekbone.

"Unnie, please say what you want to say and just go away. Please? I'm very tired today, I'd really prefer—"

"Okay, you're really tired, I can see that." Mia took a step forward. Su Ah pursed her lips, glaring. "I won't take up much of your time... it's just—well, you've been acting, looking, a little weird. Is something wrong? Anything you'd want to share or let out of your system?"

"Nothing... nothing at all."

Mia pressed a hand against her mouth and tried not to chuckle.

Nothing?

Tch. Tch. Tch.

Su Ah was always good at maintaining a poker face, so to see her freaking the fuck out meant that the lie didn't hold water. Even now she couldn't hide it well. But maybe it was simply Mia that was exceptional at seeing through lies. Once you know what the puzzle looks like, the pieces snap together easier. Mia's gaze travelled slowly upwards. From Su Ah's pale lips to her wide, dark blue eyes, from her wild hair down to her rumpled hoodie-

Her hood was pulled up, covering most of her sister's face, but Mia could see those soft, cupid's bow lips. Mia knew just how puffy and tender they could get from being kissed—it's a look she had seen in her mirror plenty of times. Mia's eyes narrowed, chin tilting up. Su Ah's bottom lip, right at the edge, had a little streak of something.

Blood from a kiss, a kiss from a bite. A little smudge of something almost the same colour as Su Ah's dark lip tint. Mia's fingernails dug into the tender skin of her palm. Her voice came out stony. "If you don't mind, may I try a question instead?"

Su Ah's wariness intensified.

"Go on."

Mia wet her lips slowly.

"Is Jae-il a good kisser?"

"......!!"

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Mia kept her stare levelled. Calm and intense. A million different images exploded behind her eye lids. Her nostrils flared once. "How was the kiss like? How does he taste and how did he touch you? Is it nice? Did it feel good, Su Ah?"

She wanted to vomit. Vomit her insides all over the carpet.

Su Ah remained silent, like a statue. Her breathing was slightly louder than before. And the longer she remained silent the tighter her hold around her chest was, like an invisible serpent had constricted around her torso, trying to rip her open.

Then came the drama, the denial, the absolute lack of self awareness, the inability to lie convincingly, or maybe the ability to lie convincingly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! What the fuck are you asking, Unnie!?" Su Ah stuttered, the sound rasping like a wounded bird. She had turned a couple shades whiter.

Mia didn't flinch. She just watched Su Ah's face go white, watched the panic spill out like blood from a cut.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Mia echoed, soft, almost laughing. "No, baby. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She took another step. Slow. Bare feet on the rug.

Su Ah tried to back up, but the bed was right there. Nowhere left.

Mia stopped an inch away.

"You're bleeding." Mia said, nodding at Su Ah's lip. "Right there. Little split. Looks fresh. Definitely didn't have that earlier. Did Jae-il hit you?"

"N-No!"

Her sister protested too loudly, then, a little more quietly, added:

"O-Of course not..."

"Well, if he didn't hit you..." Mia trailed off.

Hands balled into fists.

"Ugh! You're so close, get away!" Perhaps Su Ah was unable to withstand the proximity anymore, or maybe her head was a mess right now, but regardless she ended up pushing Mia off her. "I told you nothing happened! How could you even think we… we…"

Ah, but it was all there, in her eyes.

Mia let the push land.

It wasn't hard, just a frantic shove with both palms against her chest, but it was enough to make her take one step back.

One step was all she needed.

The second Su Ah's hands touched her, something snapped loose inside Mia's head. A leash ripping free. All of that simmering steam that had been boiling in her belly came out in a gush. Her mind narrowed, turned inwards, and something icy slid into her veins.

She caught Su Ah's wrists mid-air and twisted, fast, the way you twist a bird's neck so it stops flapping. Dead. Su Ah yelped, stumbled backward, off balance. Mia used the momentum, and pushed her on the bed.

Su Ah fell on her back.

Her breath came out of her lungs in a shocked gasp. Hood fell back. Hair stuck to her wet cheeks. Mia never thought she'd be this vengeful; then again, that episode at the café should've clued her in that she wasn't exactly stable anymore.

What right did she have to interrogate her younger sister like that?

To raise her hands.

Raise her voice.

Standing on some obscene, moral high ground, as if she herself hadn't done worse.

But Mia had staked her claim. Not even Su Ah could go around sniffing at what she'd already pissed circles around.

"Lying to me, Su Ah? You think I'm a fool?"

"You crazy—"

Mia's hand clawed the collar of her hoodie and yanked it down, hard enough to expose her clavicles and shoulders, and enough to break some of the seams.

"Ugh. Hey! Hey—no, what—wait!" Su Ah thrashed on the bed, her legs kicking, her hands trying to push Mia off, but it was useless. Mia had her pinned, her body heavy, her grip like iron.

"Stay still, you little liar." Mia snarled. She was on top of her, one knee digging into Su Ah's stomach to keep her down, one hand pinning both of Su Ah's wrists to the mattress above her head. "Well, well, what is this? What do we have here?" She tugged the collar of Su Ah's undershirt aside with her free hand, exposing a dark, reddish-purple splotch on the pale skin of her collarbone.

A bruise.

The kind that bloomed from a mouth. From teeth.

A love bite.

A mark.

"He left a mark." Mia traced it with the tip of her index finger. A light, almost gentle touch that didn't fit with the venomous look in her eyes.

Su Ah gasped again, arching, as if she'd been scalded.

Her eyes were huge and dark in the dim light.

She squirmed beneath her older sister. Shaky, weak noises came from deep in her chest.

Mia's knee was still on Su Ah's stomach, her fingers hooked in the torn collar.

Su Ah's eyes were wide, wet. They were fixed on Mia with a stupid, righteous fury.

The mattress dipped under Mia's weight, pressing her down.

A corner of Mia's lips pulled up.

And then… something shifted. Something behind Su Ah's eyes moved. She stopped fighting. The tense wires of her body went slack. Her breathing, which had been a horrible, ragged mess, evened into a slow, measured rise and fall. Still in. Still out.

Mia huffed, chuckled, the sound tapering off into a grin.

So she wasn't the only one with a fucked up personality in the house.

Su Ah's eyes were kind of scary, right now.

"You're one to talk." Su Ah rasped, voice rough but steadier now. Her eyes were crinkled at the corners, unblinking, with an edge that had even Mia go still as a statue. "Standing there like you're the saint of this house. Like you're all clean. Oh, please. Isn't that sweater Jae-il's?"

"......"