Chapter 152: Reports
Disclaimer:
Naruto and all of its characters belong to Shueisha and Masashi Kishimoto. I own nothing but the original characters I create.
"Dialogue"
'Thoughts'
-Author notes-
Chapter 152: Reports
Four Months Later, Hokage's Office
"What… is this?" Tsunade stared in disbelief at the towering stack of papers on her desk.
"Those are the reports from the last four months of activity," Jiraiya replied. "I wrote them in extensive detail, so you d-"
"Why are there so many?!, and you were supposed to send them after each mission! How many did you take?" The Hokage eyed the paper stack with a mix of anger and confusion.
Jiraiya chuckled. "Not that many, to be honest. Most of those are damage reports."
"What?!" Tsunade picked up a report from the top of the stack.
It was full of figures and pictures of destroyed buildings.
"Oh, that one's from the Land of Snow, right?" Shizune commented. "We did receive some complaints from there."
"There isn't much left now… is there?" Tsunade studied one of the photos, raising an eyebrow. "What's this?"
Naruto perked up. "Can I have that one? I want to hang it on my wall."
Tsunade examined the photo. It depicted Naruto standing next to a very distressed woman with the ruins of a castle in the background, signed by someone called 'Yukie Fujikaze'.
"She signed it for me. I'm a fan of her work," Naruto admitted. In his free time, he'd become fond of watching her movies while meditating. At this point, he was more familiar with her voice than her looks.
"Why does she look so… troubled?" Tsunade asked, pointing to the actress in the photo. "And scared..."
"That was taken right after Naruto destroyed her castle and killed her uncle, along with most of his followers," Jiraiya explained. "That could be why."
"Turns out she's a princess. Can you believe it?" Naruto added, not really bothered by the rest of the story.
"Why did you destroy her castle?!" Shizune exclaimed, shocked.
Naruto tried to explain. "I was trying to combine the Rasengan with wind chakra. I didn't think it'd break everything! That jutsu is still in the testing phase, I need to make some adjustments to th- "
"Then you shouldn't use it against people!" Shizune couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"And where were you during all of this?" Tsunade glared at Jiraiya. "Because I don't see any record of your involvement in this report."
Jiraiya looked uncomfortable. "I was… you know, gathering intel from a—"
"You were in a brothel, weren't you?" Tsunade's eyes narrowed, her tone deadpan.
"Now, hear me out… I was confident that Naruto could handle the situation alone. It's the best way to learn!" Jiraiya declared passionately.
Tsunade flipped to another report. "The current ruler of the Land of Snow is demanding thirty million ryo from Konoha as compensation for our 'sloppy work.' They say we caused more damage than necessary in the process of completing the mission."
Shizune sighed. "We can't pay that sum right now. We've lost an important client."
"Look, I admit that one was not ideal, but the next mission was handled much more cleanly, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. " Jiraiya claimed.
Tsunade reached for the next stack. "Prince Michiru and the Land of the Mo—"
Jiraiya quickly snatched those papers away. "No! Not that one!"
He shoved them aside, as far from her as possible. "Read that one later… I meant the one after that."
Tsunade stared blankly at Jiraiya for a moment, then sighed and grabbed the following report. "You hunted down Tetsuo Kurogane, also known as the 'Rusted Blade.'"
"Who's that?" Shizune asked, peering over her shoulder. "I don't remember seeing that name in the Bingo Book."
"Me neither…" Tsunade muttered.
"I think he was removed about twenty years ago. But I never forget a name or a face, so I knew it was him the moment I saw him," Jiraiya explained proudly.
"Twenty years ago? And what did he do?" Shizune asked, puzzled.
"He kidnapped the Daimyo shortly after the First Ninja War. He was one of the most wanted men for years," Jiraiya replied.
"The First Ninja War?! That was ages ago!" Shizune exclaimed. "How old is he now?"
"Oh, I remember him," Tsunade said. "He was an S-rank missing-nin for a long time but was eventually declared dead after no one found him for decades."
"Yes, a very dangerous criminal," Jiraiya nodded.
"Wouldn't he be about ninety by now?" Tsunade asked, raising an eyebrow.
"More like eighty-six or eighty-seven… something like that," Jiraiya said.
"You want me to be impressed because you captured some fossil from the First War era?" Tsunade scoffed.
"Captured?" Naruto glanced at Jiraiya with confusion. "Is that what the report says?"
"Wait… you killed that old man?!" Shizune was losing her temper.
"We didn't kill him!" Jiraiya protested.
"You cut off his head, though," Naruto pointed out.
"You did what?" Shizune looked horrified.
"It's customary with missing-nin!" Jiraiya defended himself.
"The report says he died from 'complications during the capture process,'" Tsunade read.
"He probably had a heart attack," Naruto said. "The old man went stiff when Jiraiya started shouting his name in public."
"I got excited from finally finding him!." Jiraya said in his defense.
"And where did you find this 'dangerous criminal'? You didn't include that in the dossier." Tsunade eyed Jiraiya with suspicion.
"Now… hear me out," Jiraiya began.
Tsunade's hands slammed onto her desk. "Another brothel?!"
"It wasn't a brothel, I swear!"
"It was a women's public bathhouse," Naruto interjected. "They were both trying to spy on the women."
"Naruto! You should protect your sensei a bit more!" Jiraiya complained. "Where's your loyalty?"
"Can I go now?" Naruto asked calmly.
Tsunade clenched her fists. "Yes, Naruto… you'd best leave now. I need to have a talk with Jiraiya about the proper use of the travel budget."
The sounds of destruction could still be heard from several blocks away.
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