A Productive Afternoon
5/17 late afternoon
I studied mind vision for a while, eventually reaching the point that I could look through the eyes of anyone in the retinue as long as I had some kind of connection to them. An amulet worked best, but I could also see through Zelena’s eyes just as well. Nozara hadn’t come to Zelena yet, and I didn’t have time to worry about that. It was a very fun toy, which I could probably use in a lot of ways, but I was mostly excited by the possibilities for later.
Under Irma’s supervision, the warriors of my retinue were collected, just as I’d requested. Mary was sent to Feralas to serve as a return point for Doris/Amelie, and I was going to Southshore while Tessa was gone. I considered pulling Dremuus back, but it didn’t seem worth the trouble and I didn’t want to interrupt him.
Before I let Tessa go, I had her direct me to the right house. It was late enough in the day that I might need to talk to the husband, but I really didn’t mind. I wasn’t going to try to attack her, and probably wouldn’t bother seducing her. Yes, there’s a certain something to fucking a princess, but cucking a loving father with a young daughter felt somewhat dirty. Too real. I could turn her into a powerful healer that I could call upon when needed, but no need to make a devoted wife and mother into my healslut. I already had Sadie for that, and soon I’d have Ysondre as well.
In contrast, Tyrande Whisperwind, leader of the night elves and another hot priestess in a committed relationship, was absolutely going to be getting acquainted with my dick barring literal divine intervention (which is far more likely in the case of Tyrande than most). Despite their strong bond, she and Malfurion had actually been together for less than 1% of their total life spans due to Malfurion’s tendency to go into hibernation for centuries at a time. That, and there were no kids in the picture.
Ok, I might fuck Calia eventually. But if I do, it’ll be after I’ve also captured her husband and made sure he’d be cool with it. I mostly just didn’t want to ruin the relationship.
••••••••••
The strategy wasn’t an overly complex one, but it didn’t really need to be. They were attacking gnolls and magical beasts, not a regimented army. Morganth himself might be a bit more problematic, but Erich had figured that if they overwhelmed the foot soldiers, one mage could only be so dangerous. The strategy was loosely based on the Bull Horns formation.
The initial charge would be the ogres, barring Hamhock but including Stitches, in a single loose rank. They were huge, well armored, and strong as hell. They’d draw attention. At either end of their line would be a tar pit of disposable undead who could ward off any flanking maneuvers. Close behind them would be all of my soldiers; Varian, Tessa, Sarah, Nadira, and Yanca, also in full kit and serving as a small reserve, able to respond if the ogres were overwhelmed at any point. They’d be serving double duty as bodyguards for Hamhock and the Druids, the healers and artillery. If the hounds wanted to dive through ogres and a squad of otherwise unoccupied soldiers just to bite some ghostly druids and a huge ogre, they were welcome to test that strategy at their earliest convenience.
The rogues and dragons would serve to take out the backline. The gnolls here seemed a bit heavy on spellcasters, and at least Doris had proven extremely capable of taking them down quickly from stealth. Talaada would be hovering above the melee, providing magical support. Mostly renew and and shields, which were easy to cast while moving. She’d land if someone was in a lot of trouble.
••••••••••
Stitches here to play. Stitches no get to play much. Spider fun. Dead fun but Stitches no smash until they far away from home. Stitches no could smash Worgen at all; instead carry home. Stitches no like worgen. Ogres friends, no smash. Stitches happy when master say “Stitches. Go tower. Smash gnoll.” Not in those words. Master in tiny amulet use fancier words, but Stitches know what he mean.
Stitches so happy, then master say, “also Stitches. Here. New toys. New clothes to not get smashed. New big knife that goes boom when smash. New hammer that make smashing better.” Stitches no know how thank. Is Wintervale except it now, so better.
Gnolls is dog mans. Is magic dog mans mostly. Very smashable. Hit when hands glowing, they no move then. Stitches good at smashing when things no move. Very good dog mans. Then more dogs appear. Not dog mans. Puny blue doggies. Very angery. Not as nice as gnolls. They move fast. But also their bites no hurt through the no-smash clothes. Let them bite and then hit with hammer. Great fun!
••••••••••
Yanca stared on in stunned silence at the absolute massacre happening in front of her. She had a new suit of armor, but she and all of the soldiers standing next to her were entirely superfluous. Her own king had shown up and was just watching appraisingly, with an approving smile. The ogres were charging, clad in heavy armor and swinging their weapons wildly, and any injuries they happened to sustain knit back together in a green glow provided by the dead eyed elves.
The gnolls had mages, typically the military solution to a hard to kill front line, but the mages hardly ever got off a spell, between the ogres barreling over the gnoll frontline unimpeded, the shadowy figures appearing among the warlocks to slit their throats, the seemingly suicidal little black dragon flitting from gnoll to gnoll and tearing at their faces, and the beams of white light raining from the sky and annihilating the enemy.
A few of the demonic looking dogs managed to weave through the ogres legs and charge their little unit, but when they charged one at a time they were easy to dispatch. Not a single one of them got through, and the only casualties of any kind on the Rampant Lions’ side before they got into the tower was that reckless little dragon and one of the rogues, a very muscular girl. The biggest dragon flew down to them and quickly healed them with the light; they didn’t get back up, but they would be fine. Especially in this unit where a lost arm was somehow cured with half a week light duty.
“What kind of group did I join up with?”
••••••••••
Tower doors closed when stitches get close. Stitches special smashy sword humming. Humming mean happy, ready for special smash! Stitches let sword play with door. Door fell down. Big fun! More dogs in tower. Stitches smashes them. Pretty demon lady try to tell Stitches “no more play.” Stitches smashes her. Big angry undead like Stitches try smash back. Take turns. Stitches better at smash and have on no-smashing shirt.
Ogres not smashing anymore. Just saying “Stitches, Stitches!” which Stitches decide means “smash more, Stitches!” Stitches reach top of tower.
“Ah, you stupid brute. Excellent. You shall serve me now.” Robe man try casting spell. Stitches think robe man maybe not so bad, but master say no smash friends and robe man only want Stitches to smash ogres. So, Stitches only have one smash left, for robe man.
Then, no more smash. Very sad. Big fun over now.
••••••••••
I hadn’t hurried over; I bought and ate a whole ham at the tavern first. I’m going to go ahead and blame the fact that I’d regrown most of the skeletal structure of three limbs over the last few days. I had been eating more than usual, but I was always hungry. Overall I moved pretty slowly to get to the house, too. I was mobile but I didn’t want to damage anything further by overtaxing myself.
I was wearing priestly vestments and walking with a staff and a severe limp. Nobody questioned me; I got quite a few respectful nods and even an offer for help walking. They probably assumed I was a veteran of the third war or something. I turned down the offers of aid, mostly out of pride, which got me understanding nods and a longer commute.
Calia had a lovely little home with a tile roof and a yard. By the Light, it looked like she had a pie cooling on her windowsill. A small group of children was happily playing in the yard and on the road; tag or something. I walked past them, exchanging a polite wave, and knocked on the little cottage’s front door.
A blonde milf answered. Compared to most of the women I’d been spending time around recently, she seemed very soft. She didn’t live a terribly active life outside of walking a few blocks for shopping. She was in her mid to late 30s; she’d been old enough to get married before the events of Warcraft 3, though she’d only actually settled down after fleeing the capital with her secret lover. All very romantic, I was honestly happy for her.
“Hello, Lady Calia. My name is Erich Bismark.” I felt a comfortable warmth settle in my throat as I started speaking to her, and she flushed slightly. “May I come in? I have something very important to speak to you about.”
“Yes, of course. The Light’s representatives are always welcome here.” She seemed a bit flustered. Was that just Calia, or..? I checked my amulet. Hot damn. I took so long that the battle was already over. I had Alluring Whisper. That might make this a bit fun, even if I didn’t intend to seduce her.