Last Minute Recruitment
5/15 afternoon
After my unexpected visit to the other side, I was pretty happy to just relax a bit, have some preserved fresh spider leg, and recover. Death is no fun, hot and understanding blue angel ladies or no. As I often do, I went over the catalog. Window shopping was relaxing.
I really didn’t have the firepower I wanted for this event; both offensively and defensively, I was just relying on Onyxia and an army of disposable killbots to do the heavy lifting. My team in general would be there to support; I was operating on the assumption that any one of my girls would be in danger if they got into a straight fight. More healers might help with that, but at the moment my healers were… me and Annetta. Shit. That’s kinda pathetic, really. We were both stronger than she’d been back at Northshire, but not drastically so.
I planned on recruiting Inquisitor Whitemane to my retinue, but with me shifting focus to the dragons, that might not happen for a few weeks at best. I didn’t want to just buy her; it would be difficult to capture her, but I was pretty sure I could do it. If I’m going to purchase someone, better to have it be someone I couldn’t really get any other way. Out of curiosity, I decided to check the catalog, searching for the Healer tag.
I was a bit disappointed. When I searched by tag, I got several generics that I couldn’t actually buy, and several people that I didn’t think were actually healers. Balinda Stonehearth was a mage as far as I knew, and I was pretty sure that Madame Lazul was a shadow priest by her tiny amount of lore, and thus pretty shit at healing. Plus she was not very attractive even by troll standards. I might grab Lazul if I can’t find a better teacher for shadow magic, but that’s not my biggest focus right now.
Calia Menethil and Liadrin were both more promising; both were extremely powerful users of light magic… one to five years from now. Which would be great if I didn’t want someone who could keep my team alive in three hours. If I purchased Calia right now I’d get a refugee princess with no combat training living anonymously. I’m pretty sure she was living in Southshore? I remember reading that at some point. Actually, that’s a good idea. I wrote down a note reminding me to capture blonde mothers in Southshore until I got a jackpot. I might even save her family from being killed by undead offscreen in a few years.
When she first arrives on the scene in Burning Crusade, Liadrin is quite happily draining the light energy from some sentient divine wind chimes. Aka the Naaru that most draenei worship. Not the most standard power source for a Paladin, and I didn’t know if the Blood Knights had even been founded yet at this point in the story. I’m sure she’d be a very powerful… uh, thing she was before she became a Paladin, but she probably wouldn’t be healing very well.
That left Xyrella, a Hearthstone original Draenei priestess, and Confessor Paletress. Xyrella was probably above average in power level, but I honestly couldn’t remember a damn thing about her except that she would repeat all friendly deathrattles this game upon being played as a hero card, which could be a pretty fun win condition in the casual decks I liked to run. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t relevant information.
Paletress, on the other hand, was one of the most powerful priests in the Argent Crusade during Wrath of the Lich King. In a cutscene she threw down with a duo of raid bosses and came out ahead without sweating, though she had a bit of help. She had a lot of proficiency with the light. What she also had, which made her far more interesting to me, was the seemingly unique ability to pull a living incarnation of someone’s fears and past traumas out of their head, and in the process of doing so become invulnerable until the living nightmare was destroyed. I have absolutely no idea to what degree that game mechanic would still apply, but whatever happened it seemed like a useful gimmick to hide up my sleeve.
Further, she was probably already an active duty priestess in the Eastern Plaguelands, since most members of the Argent Crusade were veterans from the Argent Dawn. I might be able to get to Quel’lithien Lodge very quickly, just by having Paletress stay on duty whenever I didn’t need her. On the other hand I could also just kidnap her and convince her that what she was doing with me was obviously more important than anything she could do with the Argent Dawn. Given how quickly I was amassing power and that I had strong incentives to hunt major baddies, it might even be true.
Keeping in mind that I didn’t have much time, I made the call, and captured Confessor Paletress. At worst she’d still be a step up from me and Annetta.
••••••••••
Sadie Paletress was on guard duty. It was a bit boring, but she stayed alert; she was here in case someone came back to the chapel injured or diseased. The Plaguelands were called that for a reason, no matter how much she hated that name for the fallen kingdom of Lorderon, and Light’s Hope Chapel would be a place of safety and rest for any living being that sought refuge.
She carefully corrected her thoughts. Even some of the dead were welcome here. She tried to remind herself that the Forsaken were her countrymen, survivors of the plague in a way, else she harden her heart like the Scarlet Crusaders. She didn’t know what was hardest to look at, the rotted faces of the men, the unnatural beauty of the women, or the twisted hatred of the crusaders.
Probably the women; she knew that was the fate that awaited her if she ever succumbed to the Scourge. She knew all too well how she looked, and took pride in it, so it was likely that the blonde priestess would be transformed into some kind of brain dead bimbo if she retained any of her own will at all. The scourge knew how to use their assets to their advantage; sometimes Sadie wondered if she should help her fellows blow off some steam just so that the temptation would be blunted. No man here was stupid enough to be seduced by an undead temptress, but it must be very stressful to go without when there were “willing” women waiting in the woods.
She prayed for guidance and peace when she got off of watch, as she so often did. Normally she simply held onto a tiny wisp of light and let her mind empty, but today something was different. She felt a strange certainty that the light was calling to her, and when she opened her eyes she felt a warmth in her hand; a beautiful crystal pendant hung around her neck, pulsing with inner light like a heartbeat. She knew with perfect certainty that it was a gift from the light itself, and when a man appeared before her she recognized him on a deep instinctive level as the man who would direct her in her service to the light. Her lips parted as she looked up at him with wonder; it wasn’t often that you met a man who spoke for the light itself. He smiled down at her, and her heart fluttered. It wasn’t fair that he was so handsome, too.
“Hey. I need you to come with me. Will you be missed?”
“I… I’m available for a few hours, sir. But if I just vanish there may be questions.” She stood. She sensed that he would never lead her wrong, but that didn’t mean he was a god or anything. Kneeling was unnecessary.
“I’ll handle those later. Follow me.” He touched the wall of the small prayer room, and it seemed to ripple. He walked through, and she followed. What else could she do?
https://imgur.com/a/pKXV7J0
••••••••••
Paletress was as beautiful as I’d hoped, but her outfit didn’t overwhelmingly flatter her. It was a very practical suit of light armor with the Argent Dawn’s rising sun insignia on it in silver and white. I checked the clothes closet and found her Confessor outfit. I sent the clothes to Eva real quick, to see if they were enchanted. To my mild surprise they were heavily enchanted with both offensive and defensive spells, primarily oriented around accelerating her mana regeneration and providing a barrier of light that would absorb damage passively. As such, I was entirely justified in dressing her up. Hell, I might end up stealing the hat.
Paletress, in my world, had basically just been a big reference to Whitemane, who was a popular boss in classic mostly because of her sexualized design. Similar names, similar hairstyles, and similar clothes; she had on less makeup and she had light blonde instead of white hair, but she pulled off the look quite well. Thigh high boots, a leotard, the white and silver tabard of the Argent crusade, a snazzy hat, arm wrappings, and heavily armored shoulders. She could do without the shoulders and arm wraps when she wasn’t about to go into combat, but the whole ensemble being heavily enchanted meant it was not just an iconic outfit. It was an iconic suit of war gear that inexplicably left her well developed thighs completely exposed.
I explained the immediate situation, focusing mostly on the threat the dragons posed, and letting her know that she had been chosen because she was destined for greatness. To my mild disappointment she was nowhere near the level she would be at the Argent Tournament and had no clue what I was talking about when I brought up manifested fears. Thankfully, she was still a priestess who could cut it as an active duty combat medic in one of the hottest war zones in Azeroth right now, capable of casting back to back spells for up to an hour straight if she was allowed to pace herself. Her outfit would probably push that limit higher.
She seemed very sweet and just a bit self effacing, mixed with a quiet resolution. I was pretty sure that there were two major paths to great power with the light: absolute humility and devotion to serving others, and delusional levels of self righteous ego. To be clear, I’m pretty sure I fall into the second a lot more than the first, and if it weren’t for soul talent I doubt I’d have the right mindset to do more than clean bandages at this point.
••••••••••
I found Ursula exhausted from her work with the spellstones and healthstones, and in the act of riding her butler. Given what she’d told me earlier, that seemed rather out of character for her, and she had a manic grin on her face as she did it. The butler, for his part, looked very pleased, and then very nervous.
“What exactly is going on here?” I asked. I kinda regretted leaving Paletress in the apartment; seeing her first reaction to random sex might have been interesting.
“I’m doing as I’m told without complaining, like you told me to.” I gave the butler, the same one who had been at the dining room table, a once over. He was an older guy, somewhere in his fifties, and apparently could be trusted to keep a secret, but it would seem that an opportunity to command his boss to do whatever he wanted had been too much for him to resist. I’d left her with a bit too open an order, and apparently once she’d finished with the stones the butler had decided to experiment. I could tell from his guilty expression that he’d been hoping to blow his load and try to cover all this up before I got back.
“Alright. You’re going to be waiting in my home for a bit while I deal with some things and decide what to do with you. Ursula, go and get ready for a fight, then use the amulet to teleport to my location. Also, drink this.” I handed her a rejuvenation potion, which would restore her about as much as a good nap and a snack. It was lucky that as a warlock she wasn’t primarily going to be using her own mana, because she seemed a bit frazzled right now. Good to know: make soul stones a bit in advance.
••••••••••
After depositing the aging butler in my apartment alongside Dena Kennedy, who had insisted on going with Caledra when Tony had teleported her away, I brought Yanca back to the apartment with orders to stay there. I didn’t want to move the portal away from Light’s Hope Chapel, and I definitely didn’t want to be locked out of my apartment until Monze or Imriss were captured in, I checked my app, three days. I did have a dark chuckle at the fact that Dena would probably worship the ground I stood on if I left her starving in a box for a few days.
Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to do it! It was just a thought.
I teleported Ursula and Paletress with me to a staging area Onyxia had picked out in the ring of mountains around our target. A couple of careful flyovers had gathered just enough information to confirm the target, and we had maybe an hour left before the golem tide got here. No more time for fucking around.