Chapter 115
It was around 3 am in the morning when Clair arose from her unconscious state.
At first, confusion gripped her as she failed to immediately recognize her surroundings.
The last memory she had was being in the dungeon, but now she found herself in her own room.
As her mind settled, the events of the previous moments began to slowly trickle back into her consciousness.
The first memory that hit her was Draco's angry expression, slowly morphing into an emotionless one.
‘What did I do to make him so angry?’ Clair questioned, digging deeper into her recollections.
As she delved further, everything started coming back to her in vivid detail.
The realization of her own actions struck her like a bolt of lightning.
"How could I have done such a thing?" she muttered in disbelief.
Tears involuntarily streaked down her face as a maelstrom of emotions engulfed her - embarrassment, shame, sadness, anger………
But the emotion that gripped her the most was the overwhelming fear of being hated.
She had said things that she didn't mean, and the picture of everyone's hurt expressions, especially Draco's emotionless face, was seared into her mind.
Draco, whom she always looked up to, rarely got that angry or even displayed that much raw negative emotions, and even when he did, it was never directed at her or any other member of the family.
‘Ah mother, what have I done? How do I fix this?’ Clair questioned, her eyes reddening from the constant flow of tears.
She began to question herself, digging deeper into the recesses of her mind.
‘Was I always such a selfish person? How do I even look them in the eye? Will they forgive me if I sincerely apologize?’ The barrage of questions swirled in her mind, and it was hard for her to find the answers on her own.
Clair was well aware of the sacrifices that everyone had made for each other, especially Draco.
He had taken on the role of the adult in their lives, shouldering the responsibility of making the hard choices, protecting them, making sure that most of what they needed was being provided and ensuring their survival.
She thought she had matured past the point of throwing such a tantrum, especially after everything they had been through.
‘What does he owe me after everything he has done for me? Is what I have been feeling all these years for him even been love, because if it was, then I shouldn't have hurt him,’ she thought.
‘Is this what loving someone should feel like, or is it all just my unhealthy obsession? Thinking about it now, my actions in the past few months around him have been rather questionable. Am I perhaps just some perverted girl in heat? Is this the source of my emotions?’ she questioned some more.
Clair kept mulling over different aspects of her life, subtly realizing the kind of person she was becoming.
In the blink of an eye, an hour had passed, and her stomach grumbled loudly, breaking the silence that had enveloped the room.
Wiping the tears and snot off her face, Clair got up from the bed and made her way to the kitchen.
To her surprise, she encountered someone unexpected – their goddess, Bahamut.
"Oh, you're finally awake, Clair," Bahamut said, relief evident in her voice.
"Hmm," Clair replied, unsure of how to interact.
She was certain that Draco had informed Bahamut of the incident, and she wasn't ready to face the other members of the familia just yet.
She contemplated leaving but was stopped by a sudden loud sound.
Growl!
Her stomach protested loudly once again, much to her embarrassment.
“Fufufufu” Bahamut chuckled, rising up from her seat.
"Come, sit. Let me warm up something for you," Bahamut said, gesturing towards the kitchen table.
Clair hesitantly took a seat, her eyes downcast, unable to meet Bahamut's gaze.
She felt ashamed and unsure of how to proceed.
Bahamut busied herself in the kitchen, preparing a warm meal for the young girl.
The silence between them was palpable, but Bahamut seemed unfazed, focusing on the stove.
After a few minutes, Bahamut placed a steaming plate of food in front of Clair.
"Here, this should help. Eat up, you must be famished." she said.
Clair stared at the plate, the aroma wafting up to her nose, tempting her to take a bite.
But her appetite had been temporarily suppressed by the guilt and turmoil raging within her.
Nonetheless, she mustered the courage to pick up the utensils and take a few tentative bites.
As Clair ate, Bahamut observed her silently, her expression serene and understanding.
The goddess could sense the inner turmoil that Clair was experiencing, and she knew that the young girl needed time and space to process her thoughts and emotions.
After Clair had finished her meal, Bahamut spoke up, her voice soothing and calm.
"I'm sure you have a lot on your mind, my child. Why don't you tell me what's troubling you?" Bahamut began but Clair hesitated and couldn't respond.
"Clair, I know that you are going through a difficult time, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I am here for you, and I want to help you through this." Bahamut said.
Clair's eyes widened slightly, hesitantly she looked up, meeting Bahamut's steady gaze.
"I never meant to hurt anyone," Clair began, her voice trembling as she slowly narrated her troubles.
Bahamut quietly listened, giving her a chance to let everything out.
"I... I said such terrible things. I hurt Draco and the others. How can they ever forgive me?" Her voice small and laced with despair.
Bahamut reached across the table and gently placed her hand on Clair's.
"Silly girl, everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is that you recognize what you've done and are willing to make amends. Draco and the others care about you deeply, that’s why they got angry, and they will undoubtedly be willing to listen and forgive, if you approach them with sincerity and humility." Bahamut replied.
Clair felt a glimmer of hope flicker within her, but it quickly dimmed as she was still unsure.
"I'm... I'm afraid. What if they reject me? I don't think I could bear it." she asked.
Bahamut’s grip tightened around Clair's hand reassuringly.
"I understand your fear, but you must have the courage to face it. Draco and the others need you just as much as you need them." she replied.
"Do you really think they'll forgive me that easily?" Clair asked.
"Of course, child," Bahamut reassured her.
"Family is built on the foundation of love and understanding. What you've done may have hurt them, but their love for you is stronger than any mistake you've made." she said.
Clair nodded slowly in understanding, her resolve strengthening.
"You're right. I need to face them and make things right. I owe them that much, after everything they've done for me." she said, her voice a bit stronger.
Bahamut smiled, her eyes shining with pride.
"That's the spirit, my girl. Take your time, sort your emotions, but don't hesitate to reach out when you're ready. I will be here, supporting you every step of the way." Bahamut replied, gently caressing Clair’s hands.
“Hmm” Clair responded, a bit energetically.
“Now back to bed you go. You have a long day ahead of you” Bahamut encouraged.
“What about you, aren’t you going to bed, or is something also bothering you? I can help” Clair offered.
“Ahem, I am fine and have already slept enough. Now off you go” Bahamut urged.
In truth Bahamut hadn’t slept a wink after the incident with Draco last night.
She kept recalling her actions and mulling over it, before she knew it, she found herself back in the kitchen.
“If you say so” Clair muttered before going back to her room.
Left alone in the kitchen, Bahamut stared blankly at the ceiling thinking…..
‘How do I face him in the morning?’