Chapter 26: Levels, Loot, and Lore

While Lexi tried to quickly repair the damage she had done to her tabard in tearing it from her body, she reviewed the surplus of system alert messages and popup boxes that had accumulated in the upper right-hand corner of her peripheral vision following the melee’s completion. As with the last quest she had completed, the first alert with which the paladin was met served to recap all of the attribute modifications she had earned during the quest.

Attribute

Modification

New Value

Reason

Experience Points

+250 (x3)

9,750

Defeated 3 Goblins

Experience Points

+1000

10,750

Defeated Goblin Priestess

Experience Points

+1,500

12,250

Completed Quest

Level

+1

3

Gained 10,000 XP

Hit Points

+5

30 (+5/hr)

Leveled Up

Spell Points

+1

7 (+1/hr)

Leveled Up

Attack Points

+2

14+2

Leveled Up

Defense Points

+1

12+3

Leveled Up

Mind-Break Points

+1

7+1 (+1/hr)

Leveled Up

Nice, I leveled up again! Although Lexi had no notion of what the scale of levels might be in terms of maxing out — or if that was even possible in this world — she was happy to see steady and quick improvement. The additional spell and hit points in particular would undoubtedly come in handy as the difficulty of her party’s quests increased. This one had seemed like it would be a breeze at first, but that priestess had been a pretty serious opponent in the end.

If the quests that Lexi was going to face in this world followed any kind of progression, which she assumed they would given that this was a game world, then it would just keep getting harder from this point on. To wit, when she mentally closed out the top window, the next one which faced her was the updated quest tracker, showing the rescue operation to be complete, but with a new quest already having been added. As expected, its goal was to remove the curse which had been lain on Lexi by the slain goblin priestess.

Quest Number

Description

Status

1

Rescue Adventurers from Goblins

Complete

2

Defeat Samantha von der Faust

Complete

3

Rescue Nobles from Goblins

Complete

4

Remove Goblin Priestess’ Curse

Incomplete

Following this menu, the paladin was met with yet another now familiar popup, indicating that her level increase had granted her access to a new spell.

Calling up the spell menu, Lexi saw that this new addition to her magical inventory had a rather unusual name, but based on the last spell she had been given, was wholly in character with the apparent spirit of Fantasy Adventure Quest.

Level

Spell

SP

1

Holy Illumination

1

1

Heal Minor Wounds

2

2

Holy Fuck

4

3

Holy Lust

6

Now this one, the paladin said to herself after reviewing the spell’s description. This spell could have some major used both in the bedroom and on the battlefield. Her mind reeled with possible uses for the spell. Scenarios ranging from disrupting a tightly packed room of foes to initiating an instant-orgy-party with her fellow adventurers whirled through her mind’s eye as she carefully perused the fine details of the spell.

Spell Attribute

Description

Name

Holy Lust

Level

3

Spell Points

6

Duration

5 min. (+ 1 min. per level)

Range

10 ft. radius from caster (+ 1 ft. per level)

Requirements

N/A

Effects

Temporarily inflames all within the effected area with lust until the spell expires (i.e. lust is not sated by orgasm); the victim is incapable of doing or thinking of anything else while inflamed

Caveats

The spell’s effects on a target can be broken if the target’s constitution is higher than the caster’s combined constitution and level

Once the paladin had finally finished making the ad hoc repairs to her tabard and had dressed herself, she saw that Samantha had finished unbinding all three members of the Eschenbach family. As each one was currently sleeping from the combination of trauma suffered at the hands of the goblins as well as the powerful healing spells enacted upon them by the monk, Samantha had lain them all together, away from any of the gory goblin carcasses.

“I shall search the village to find clothing for the family we have rescued,” she said, in her usual clipped and formal manner of speaking.

“Good idea,” Lexi nodded. “We probably shouldn’t parade a bunch of nobles through he city totally naked — especially after everything they’ve been through. Let’s all see what we can help find.”

“Yes,” Gretel agreed. “We should get out of this place as soon as these three can walk. The last thing we want is to get into any more trouble today. Our muscular friend here,” the mage indicated Samantha’s leg, “can barely walk on that, and you and I both took some serious hits from that little green whore’s whip too.”

“Oh shit!” Lexi slapped her forehead. “You used all your healing spells on the Eschenbachs, didn’t you, Samantha? And you were just planning on walking all the way back to the city on that?! You can barely hobble across the cave right now.”

The monk nodded stoically, saying nothing. Her leg did look bad. The whip’s flames had seared off nearly an inch of muscle in a complete circle around her enormous thigh, leaving a cauterized valley that looked absolutely horrendous to the paladin. Samantha’s hands too were burned and blistered from where she had struggled to disentangle the flaming whip from her leg during the melee.

“Let me help you first,” Lexi said softly. “You two are both tapped out magically, but I’m still at full strength.”

Kneeling down in front of the monk, Lexi placed her hand delicately on her friend’s wound, and cast the healing spell.

You Healed Samantha!

+5 HP (15/20)

“You too, Gretel” Lexi said, turning to the voluptuous pink haired mage. “That gash on your chest looks ugly.”

“Look who’s talking,” Gretel quipped sarcastically. “I’m not the one with my cheekbone peeking out.”

But, before the mage could argue any further, Lexi placed a hand gently on her chest, and sublingually intoned the spell’s words of power.

Heal Minor Wounds!

You Healed Gretel!

+5 HP (18/20)

Her party now relatively healed up, the trio split up and began scouring the huts within the goblin village for anything that they could offer to the three Eschenbachs to clothe themselves when they awoke. Thankfully, one of the huts did contain a cache of human sized clothes which the adventurers rifled through, selecting some suitable temporary garments for each of the three victims of the goblins.

Although, Lexi mused, the fact that the goblins had these clothes at all almost certainly means that this wasn’t the first group of travelers they ambushed and overtook. She shuddered at the thought of how many depravities had taken place in this cavern alone, and how many more such dens of evil besmirched the land surrounding Astyanax. Rage at the indignity of such widespread malignancy simmered within her breast.

I’ll be damned if I won’t do my part to wipe these green fuckers off the map.

Not long after the trio of adventurers had finished searching the village — finding nothing else of interest — the nobles began to all wake from their collective slumber. Samantha had lain clothing for each person on top of them, covering their nakedness as best she could, so that the first thing they noticed upon waking would not be that they were all laying together naked and covered in all manners of bodily fluids.

“W-What h-appened?” Lady Eschenbach groggily asked as she awoke first. But, upon seeing her two children lying sleeping — and alive — beside her, she immediately broke down into tears of the purest joy, hugging both of them tightly. Her swift action left her completely exposed, and as she bent over to grab hold of her children, Lexi was forced to pointedly avert her eyes, immediately aware that despite the circumstances, Lady Eschenbach’s large round ass and furry pussy peeking out from between her thick thighs was provoking a reaction beneath Lexi’s tabard.

“I knew it,” Gretel whispered slyly, elbowing Lexi in the ribs. “You really do have a type.”

The paladin’s face immediately flushed bright red as she turned completely away from the family’s tearful reunion.

“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lexi lied poorly. If the crack in her voice and beet red face did not make it plain to the mage, the obvious bulge between the futanari’s legs certainly did. Gretel merely snickered quietly in response, her eyes dancing, glad to keep their inside joke running.

Once the Eschenbach children had been sufficiently hugged by their joyously crying mother, the family finally noticed that they were all still naked. The three adventurers had all turned away, congregating by the foot of the stairway, to give the family privacy. The mother and her children quickly dressed themselves, donning the rough-spun clothes of whatever unfortunate peasants had been most likely raped and murdered by this same clan of goblins at some point in the past.

The family was mostly quiet during this time, although Lexi choked, her eyes bulging, when she heard Hans mumble something about why he was so sticky. Samantha silently shook her head, although Lexi could see the faintest suggestion of a smile pass across her face. Gretel, on the other hand, relished in the opportunity to playfully taunt her friend, covertly miming a jerking off motion with both of her hands while grinning wickedly at the red faced paladin.

The party set off as soon as Lady Eschenbach and her two children were fully dressed, eager to be on the road and back to the city before dusk began to set in. Samantha took the point position, with the noble family behind her, while Lexi and Gretel took the rear position, ensuring both that none of the Eschenbachs straggled along and that nothing would surprise them from behind. The family kept silent for the most part, each one no doubt lost in a mental maze of their own private misery, reliving every remembered moment of their torment at the goblins’ hands. Lexi took the quiet as an opportunity to ask Gretel about something that had been lurking at the edge of her mind ever since they searched the goblin village.

“Something’s been bothering me about the goblins,” Lexi said to the mage.

“Yeah?” the mage responded glibly. “Apart from them being disgusting little rape monsters that can apparently brand you with curses?”

“Har har har,” the paladin mocked. “I’m serious, Gretel. In a village that size, we saw ten males, two dead up above ground and then another eight that we killed down below. How was there only one female? That kind of ratio seems ridiculously skewed.”

“That’s actually a good question,” Gretel replied. “We spent some time studying greenskin ecology at school, so I actually do know why this is the case. With all of the humanoid races — humans, elves, halflings, even most of the beastkin — that have gender splits that’re more or less even. But, with greenskins of all stripes, children are almost always male. Female greenskin kids are super rare, and are considered highly-prized by their tribe not only because of their scarcity, but also because greenskins are matriarchal. Each tribe is led by a priestess, much like the bitch you tangled with back in the cave.”

“Well fuck,” Lexi said with a low whistle. “That sure as shit explains why they’re so goddamn rapey. If a ratio of one pussy for every ten cocks is even close to normal, then that’s got to lead to some serious sexual urges without any natural outlets. Unless, that is, the goblin dudes find…err…ways to help each other out in that way?”

“Hah! Not likely,” the mage scoffed. “I’m far from an expert, but from what I remember same-sex pairings among goblin males are pretty much nonexistent. That kind of thing is seriously taboo among all of the greenskins. Hell, same goes for most of the humanoids too, except for the elves.”

Lexi filed this information away dutifully, curious about why the elves in particular would present some kind of exception to this nearly universal taboo. But, Gretel’s continued exposition on goblin lore maintained the paladin’s attention.

“But still, that’s only a piece of the picture. What you’re probably also wondering is how a population like that can sustain itself if the male-to-female ratio is so severely out of whack, right?”

“That was literally my next question,” Lexi said nodding. “Like, how the fuck was that priestess not pregnant at the very least?”

“That’s the kicker! Greenskin priestesses, because they rule the tribe, are pretty much never used as brood mares to increase the tribe’s numbers.”

“How…” Lexi started, only to be paused by an upraised finger from the mage.

“When a goblin cums inside a humanoid woman, even though the races should be too different to breed, there’s a slim chance that she’ll get pregnant.”

“But,” Lexi interjected. “I didn’t think that there were any such things as half-goblins.”

“There aren’t,” Gretel confirmed. “That’s because if a human woman does conceive from a goblin or orc raping her, the baby will always be a greenskin. No one knows how or why, but that goes a long way towards explaining why they’re all so universally interested in fucking as many humanoid women as often as they can.”

“No shit!” Lexi hissed. “It’s got to be like a fucking biological imperative for them.”

The mage nodded in agreement.

“Well fuck,” Lexi said despondently. “That’s just a lovely goddamn ray of sunshine to brighten my day.”

And, although that fucking faerie didn’t exactly lie to me about this, she thought to herself darkly, she didn’t quite tell the truth either. Which makes me wonder, what else in my orientation was a half-truth?