Ch 3.21: Glory

The whiplash of feelings Elaina was being forced to endure were starting to stack up, but before she could lash out at Shein yet again the woman pulled a pile of green fabric out of her still open drawer.

“I believe this was yours?”

Somehow that made it worse, and Elaina couldn’t help but cover herself. “You’re a real bitch, you know that?”

“Oh, I definitely do.”

Elaina took the dress and started to slip it on, trying her best to ignore Shein’s eyes on her. Why is getting dressed more embarrassing than just staying naked…

“This was fun,” Shein said, sitting back at her desk once Elaina was dressed again. “We should do it again sometime. And if you change your mind about leaving the Temmie with me, just let me know.”

“Right, cause you’ve given so much reason to trust you.”

“Exactly. I always keep my bargains.”

Elaina didn’t feel right leaving without some sort of farewell, but Shein was already absorbed in some paper, ignoring that anyone else was in the room at all. It’s not like I’m going to kiss her goodnight I guess.

Her cheeks burned red as she walked back, starting first with the stares from the staff at Mirage who no doubt noticed her change in wardrobe, then the stares from the townsfolk looking at her walk around in the mid afternoon wearing what was clearly meant to be an evening gown. She wished she could focus on those things, fall back into the same mindset she’d had in her brief encounter with Shein, but her mind was focused on other things.

She was going to Kaldish, going to war. A war she didn’t know anything about, a war waged by a country she didn’t believe in, against people she didn’t know, and at any time the Red Order could decide their forward scout that Elaina and Tira had killed was taking a little too long and come back with an unknowable large army.

“Is it even worth it?” Elaina said to herself as she walked through the school gates. She pushed the thoughts of fighting and war out, tried to imagine something else. The grove above Temmie’s cave, a house built off under the trees, just large enough to house her and her friends. Three bedrooms? No, two would be enough. Her and Tira, Carly and Flora. No one else.

She turned down the hall leading to Prisma’s dorm.

I wonder if she’ll even say yes about watching Temmie. She probably would. She’d finally made it very clear to Elaina how their romantic future existed, or didn’t exist. Elaina was coming to terms with that as well. Or so I tell myself. She needed to get over that, deal with the fact something immovable had come between them that Prisma was engaged to Waine, that Waine—was standing right in front of her.

Both of them stood still, each stopped mid stride in the middle of the opulent hallway with their eyes locked. Eventually Waine’s gaze went to the dress she was wearing, hers to his hand. It had been broken at Mirage, but it had been healed. Carly? Or the school doctor?

“What do you want?” he said, still staring at her dress.

“Nothing from you,” Elaina muttered, resuming her stride and walking past. There really wasn’t a point in wasting her time on him. She was only a few steps away before his voice stopped her again.

“You know her reputation is ruined now, right?”

“Oh? And that’s my fault?” She spun around and glared at the boy. “Who’s fault would it have been if you’d gotten away with taking and spreading those portraits of us?”

“I was only going to take them of you, and only to show people what type of person you really are.” There was vitriol in is words, hate in his eyes. Elaina had assumed he was just some pervert, and maybe that was also true, but in that moment she really believed everything he’d done to her hadn’t been done out of lust, but true hate. “You don’t deserve the Endrin uniform.”

The word made her sick. That’s one thing you and I can agree on, she thought as she gripped at her dress. “Trust me, I’d rather wear my own clothes too.”

They both stood there for a while, wallowing in their own rage. Elaina could see it in his eyes, and that turned her stomach even more than the uniform he was wearing did. It wasn’t possible to even pretend she didn’t have the same hate inside of her, and even if she felt hers was justified. At least I’m mad at him for shit he did to me, not shit that someone else did to someone else.

“Thanks to you,” Waine mumbled, “we’re going to Kaldish too.”

“What?” Elaina was positive her and Carly were the only first years that were going.

“What do you mean, ‘what?’ Her father is the minister of war. With the whole country knowing you beat her in a duel, do you really think he’s going to let you go off and earn all the glory while she sits back?”

“Glory? You think I’m going out there for glory?” Elaina took a step forward was about to raise her fist to punch him in the face, but the look in his eyes stopped her. No, he wasn’t thinking about glory.

“None of us want to go there, you idiot,” he said, pushing past her. The look of fear, and not of her, stuck in Elaina’s mind even as he stormed off.

“Gods dammit,” she said for the second time in only an hour. She looked back towards Prisma’s dorm before turning the other way and walking back. If she’s going too, she can’t watch the subcore. I’ll have to find another way.