3 — Changes

Sleep didn't bless me that night. There was too much in my head. Whenever I closed my eyes, I'd find myself on the pitch, a ball tucked under my foot, and opponents flanking me from all sides.

All of my accomplishments, accolades, my fame, and wealth depended on how good I was with my feet. And in the span of 90 minutes, I lost it all. A career-ending injury would have been way better than this, than losing my identity.

I would never see them again. My family. My friends. My teammates.

Familiar faces flashed through my head.

A faint ache spread from my chest. I placed a hand on it, and I swear I could still relive my death with each beat of my heart. The pain had faded — still was actually — but its lingering shadow would always remain there.

What a ridiculous situation…

I tried to Google up my name earlier. 'Jair Campinho'. There was no news of my death. There was no news of anything pertaining to my existence. Even my teammates didn't exist here.

Worse of all? It was not only them that didn't exist, but also every professional player I've faced in my career.

They've never been born. Not yet, at least. Actually, that was wrong. I was not in the past, the modernity of this home could testify to that. And even if I was, hypothetically speaking, decades into the past, there was no way that big names like Ronaldo and Zidane wouldn't pop up.

Which meant that this was either a dream, highly unlikely, or a parallel dimension, a mirror reality… or, in the worst case, this was all a figment of my imagination and I was actually bound to chair in some psychiatric ward.

'Fuck.'

I couldn't sit still, because if I did, I'd be stewing in my own loneliness and the madness of it all. I could handle most problems with a level head, but they had to be logical in nature. How was I supposed to deal with this?

I rolled out of bed, straightened my legs, bent my elbows, and started doing push-ups.

One.

Two.

Three.

…

Four?

My chin slammed onto the cold, hard floor.

I severely underestimated how weak this body was. The original Dae Ho wouldn't know the meaning of the word 'exercise' if it slammed into his face with a sledgehammer. I picked myself up and resumed.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five… and then down on the ground.

'Well… improvement.'

Surprisingly, this body made up for its lack of strength with its sheer endless stamina. I felt like I could go on for the entire night. Yes, my arms were sore, but I didn't feel that post-exercise lethargy that'd make me want to lie down and rest. Truly interesting.

──⇌ ⋆★⋆ ⇋──

Jong Eun Ha's POV:

"Come quickly, honey!" Yeong Gu laughed with a silly smile on his face. His gold-rimmed glasses reflected off the dim light of the room, purposefully lowered to a romantic hue, perfect for a night of 'activities'.

"..."

Despite Eun Ha's best efforts, she couldn't help but recall Dae Ho's recent behavior. There was never a time when his smile didn't light up a room. A kind smile that hid no daggers. There was no corruption within that boy's soul.

Even when he was sad, or simply upset, it was easy to pick up on it. A pout was usually the first indicator.

And when he was really, really depressed, he'd ball his hands into fists and hold back the tears. That would happen on the nights he dreamt of his parents. A hug was the best medicine, as she had done many times in the past to calm him down.

He wore his emotions on his sleeves. And everyone liked him for it.

He was adorably naive and honest to a fault.

He was… like a child that would never grow up, forever stuck in that baby phase.

Today, she had seen for herself the signs of him growing up. Dae Ho was taciturn, his behavior guarded, as if he had met them for the first time. Perhaps it could be attributed to something else; she didn't want to jump to conclusions. However, there was no doubt that something had indeed changed.

"Come oooon, where are you going?"

"I'm going to check up on Dae Ho. He's been weird today. I'm afraid something's up." She said weakly, averting her eyes when she saw her husband's junk standing in attention.

"He's a grown boy! He's fiiiine!"

She scratched her cheek. "I just want to be sure he's fine… haha, I'll be right back, okay?"

Yeong Gu was left speechless as he watched Eun Ha click the door shut with an apologetic, flustered smile.

…

She heaved a deep sigh, hand on her chest. A downtrodden look developed across her face. Yeong Gu could be quite stubborn, which was understandable given that he had to set off for a business trip on the morrow. She used to love him, once. When she didn't know how much better she could have. When she didn't know he had cheated on her on one of those business trips.

Ironic, how a perfect-looking family like hers could have such a stain behind a polished layer of lies.

Eun Ha brushed a strand of brown hair off her eyes and, quietly, on the tip of her toes, started to make her way up. Her long, bare legs covered a lot of distance between one step and another.

As she passed Su Ah's room, she briefly overheard the furious tapping of fingers on a keyboard. 'That kid is staying up late again.' She shook her head in exasperation. Mia's room, by comparison, didn't let out a single noise. She had half a mind to check up on her as well, but it was not urgent.

And then, Dae Ho's room came into view. A veneer of darkness shrouded half of the door, while the other was dimly kissed by the pouring moonlight.

Eun Ha gently tapped the wooden surface with her finger. She realized it might have not been loud enough to be heard, but at the same time she didn't want to wake him up, were he to be sleeping.

Naturally, no response made its way back to her. So she decided to try again, but a bit harder. This time, the knock echoed off on the other side, and she had no doubt that Dae Ho, should he be still up, would have heard it.

She waited patiently for the sound of his footsteps to draw closer. But none came. "Hmm…" She tapped her chin, and while it was not her right to do so, she stuck her left ear to the door, hoping to pick up on any noise.

Contrary to her expectations, she did.

It was faint, but she heard it all the same. The low-pitched sound of breath coming in and out, fast and rough. Eun Ha's eyes widened, and she pasted herself to the door, to hear better, to draw a more 'complete' picture in her head. "Is he…?" She strained her ears.

The panting grew a tad louder. And now she could also vaguely make out the grunts of effort mixed in. 'Dae Ho is a young boy… it's normal for him to masturbate.'

That was her conclusion. What other reason was there for a healthy young man, deep into the night, with his door closed, to make such noises?

Still…

'Is he doing it… correctly?'

Dae Ho lost his parents at a very young age. There must have been no one to teach him… certain things. She had talked about it with Yeong Gu a few years back, but her husband waved it off and said that he'd learn everything on his own.

She agreed with him, back then. Surely, between the internet and his classmates, he had to know, at least, something about sex. Except that his innocence built a wall around those topics.

And, predictably, that made Eun Ha concerned.

'What if he doesn't know?'

'What if he'll never learn?'

She calmed down the beating of her heart, inhaled deeply, and opened the door. A click rang out. The door creaked, and Eun Ha jutted her head through the gradually increasing gap. Her eyes immediately fell on the bare form of her adopted son.

He was covered in sweat, a puddle forming right under his chin. His jaw was stiff, his lips set into a determined frown, and his eyes were fixed on the floor, a sharp glint within them.

His elbows bent, until his heaving chest was almost in contact with the floor, and then he straightened them. The whole thing was so slow that Eun Ha could see how his arms trembled under the stress.

'He's… doing push-ups?'

She felt so silly for letting her thoughts wander in that inappropriate direction. 'What am I even thinking?' Could it be even considered a coincidence, when that very morning, he had expressed his desire to work out?

Eun Ha was snapped out of her reverie when Dae Ho, who didn't seem to have noticed her, suddenly turned his head, and that intense, determined gaze almost stole her breath away.

Gone was the innocence, those were the eyes of a man.

His elbows uncurled as he struggled to climb back to his feet.

"Auntie?" Such an adorable way of addressing her, and it was perverted by the calmness and almost cold detachment in which it came out. He drew a bit closer to her, but not too much, likely mindful of the smell of sweat clinging to his body.

He was still panting, but it was more controlled now.

Eun Ha stared at him, at the way a line of sweat traced a salty path down his chest. She gulped, reminded of what she hadn't done downstairs, with her husband.

"D-Dae Ho…" She started, stuttering a bit. 'Seriously, what's wrong with me today?' She heaved a deep sigh and steeled her gaze. "Can we talk for a bit?"

He blinked, tilted his head, and continued staring at her. Eun Ha could almost see the questions running through his mind. He nodded. "Is there a problem? It's quite late…"

"Well…" She found herself quite lost on how to breach the subject. "...Lately, we haven't had many opportunities to talk like this."

Dae Ho dug around his memories for a bit. "Indeed, we have not." And then he smiled. Eun Ha didn't like how fake it looked. There was a hint of emotion there, but it was all hidden behind a curtain of doubt. "Are you okay? You seem distracted."

Eun Ha bit her bottom lip. "I'm fine."

He narrowed his eyes, catching on the lie like a shark would on blood. Still, he didn't say anything, and allowed her enough time to gather her bearings.

"But… are you?" She said, eventually. "You know, if there's something that's troubling you, I hope that I've done a good enough job as your adopted mother that you'd come to me. It's weird… to see you like this, Dae Ho."

"See me like what?"

"See you… so… indifferent…"

Dae Ho's eyes drooped down a bit, and Eun Ha could've sworn she caught a glimpse of the innocent boy he still was behind that cold facade.

"I just had a lot on my mind… I didn't mean to hurt you."

His tone was warm, and his eyes conveyed a heartfelt apology.

"I-It's fine…" She averted her gaze, hand massaging her forehead. "Just… don't avoid us. We're here for you, and always will be."

Dae Ho took a few steps forward, towering over her. He used to slouch, but now his back was straight, and his true height was fully revealed. "Right back at you." He said, bopping her nose playfully. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be more than happy to be the shoulder you can cry on. I know that Mia Noona and Su Noona care deeply for you, but they probably don't understand how hard it is to be in your shoes."

"Umh… right…" Eun Ha was taken aback.

"You should go to sleep, Auntie. You look tired."

And then he retreated, grabbed a towel, and headed for the bathroom to rinse the sweat and dirt off his body.

…

When Eun Ha made her way back down, it was to the sight of her husband snoring away. He was still naked, probably in the hopes that he'd be awake long enough to see her return.

She tucked herself in, next to him, and… stared at the ceiling.

Her earlier conversation with Dae Ho was odd. It was not only his behavior that changed, it was… everything, really. The way he spoke. The way he elaborated information. The way he looked at her.

He was no more the easily flustered boy.

There was a sharpness to his eyes that was not aimed at her, but at the world in general. There was a lot of confusion as well, but whatever he was dealing with, he was taking it in stride.

Eun Ha couldn't, for the love of God, understand what made him change so much. And she also didn't know why she was so pleased to find such an interesting… and, dare she say so, charming young man in his stead.

Changes could be scary, but this one might prove to be a blessing.