Chapter 65 — Y3: Ditz’s Diplomacy
Hrmph… she seems to still be hiding…
Oh, nothing. Just a bit annoyed that some plans aren’t working out perfectly.
No, it’s -- pfft! Men.
I’m not looking for a solution. I’m just venting, is all. A solution is the exact opposite of what would help me.
Honestly, I used to be a man, and I have no idea why that’s what you all jump to…
So!
Last time, I told you about how Argenta came to have a chat with me.
Afterwards, I made the only rational choice on what to do.
I decided to Not Worry About It.
Honestly, there comes a point where concerns and the powers that be are so far above your head that even trying to understand what’s going on would just give you a migraine.What could I even do? Change my actions to mess up divine predictions? With two different gods interfering with me, my actions were already ‘unpredictable’. For the most part, at least. The general trend would remain the same, but the details can be where things really matter.
So I decided to ignore it and get on with my life.
Really, there wasn’t much else I could do besides ‘panic’, and that didn’t sound like a fun option.
So I just -- went on about my days. I gave birth to a lizardman -- the little dear was an adorable gecko-like humanoid that I handed off to a lizardman enclave -- and then I got pregnant with the yeti’s and oh my fucking goddesses that was so hot.
Sure, ‘normally’, the sensation of being stretched out from the inside almost to the point of pain isn’t exactly ‘pleasurable’.
But I was a slut with a body blessed by the goddess of hyper sizes herself! In the reality of MISSY!
Yeti’s are huge, and their cocks are massive. Even with my breasts, I couldn’t cover them top to bottom when giving them a titjob!
When fucking me, they had to slowly push their way inside. Bit by bit, inch by inch, working my slit out until they could finally get all the way in. I was stuffed with just one in me, and even the smallest motions of the yeti made his cock move in new and interesting ways -- ones that made me moan in heated pleasure.
And then they started pumping in and out of me!
Oh, oh, but that’s not even the best part, nonono.
The best part is how they used my mouth, too!
If it wasn’t for the merged parasite there, it probably would have hurt, but as it was? It was just a sensation of ecstasy. Feeling the two cocks slowly move in and out me, pulsing occasionally, releasing spurts of pre as their cocks got ready to cum… their cocks were so strong that I could have just left myself hanging on them!
One in my mouth, one in my pussy, and my hands and legs dangling down in the air!
Sadly, my tail was not as stretchy as my other holes, but frankly I fear I would have gone catatonic if I experienced three of them at once…
…Either way, this was planned to be my last ‘real’ pregnancy, and it was certainly the best of them.
After they were done, I stumbled my way back to the school, and fell onto my bed. Exhausted.
And tomorrow was when I noticed that my latest pregnancy was already progressing~
See, here’s the thing about yeti’s. In case it wasn’t obvious when I described their humongo-cocks. They’re big.
So I had a big baby growing in my womb.
And fast.
My previous pregnancies had a sort of -- ebb and flow to them. They would slowly produce more hormones as I got more pregnant, only reaching maximum effect about halfway in. At that point it was hard for me to focus on anything except whatever precious baby was in my belly, rubbing it and cooing to myself as dreams of maternity flickered through my head.
This one, however, started with a bang.
From the moment I woke up, I could feel the difference. It was like my blood was thicker, running slower, due to all of the hormones stuffed into it. I was having a hard time thinking, a hard time processing, a hard time caring about anything not directly related to the precious baby I had growing inside of me.
…Which was a small problem, because I had plans I needed to take care of while I was pregnant.
See, if you remember my plan, right after I got [Broodmare] -- which was going to happen immediately after giving birth -- I was going to start Kaiser’s ‘conquest’ of me. At that point, the most difficult portion of the plan was over.
The moment both Kaiser and Big Bull had had their interests ignited, things were so easy I could almost let it run on autopilot.
I just needed to get [Technosymbiosis] and get the Empress to want to adopt me, which was, frankly, rather easy. She was insane, but a kind of insane that I could understand, work with, and manipulate.
Further, nobody wanted to talk to the Empress. Even Sumiko was only enduring it because she wanted to steal as much of the Empress's technology as she could.
That’s relevant because Front King Masters and Back King Mason wanted to talk with Big Bull and Kaiser, and after Kaiser became interested in me, the situation would be stable enough to send in a real diplomatic team from the Kingdom to the Farmlands and Wildlands.
After learning the details of the Empirical Empress from Takeo and myself in that meeting at the start of the year, the two kings didn't need much time to decide that they wanted her gone. Which, uh.
…Was valid.
More than fair, really.
Big Bull was always going to be easy to work with. He was a reasonable, rational, super hot man. He also controlled a rather massive food production facility in the form of ‘his entire kingdom’; Massive quantities of vegetables, eggs, milk, wool and more were produced daily, and of shockingly high quality. The Kingdom was stuck on a single -- admittedly rather large -- island; food production could be expensive in terms of land, but it was always possible… but a solution in the form of a bull-man that delivered high quality vegetables and fruits daily?
That was too good to ignore.
The Wildlands were a place they couldn't afford to ignore. They had a habit of raiding the Farmlands for goods whenever they looked vulnerable, and the Farmlands could never do anything about it but passively defend and react because Kaiser would wreck any army that dared set foot past the jungle treeline. It was absolutely vital that the Kingdom secure a peace treaty with the Wildlands and with Kaiser. Specifically, a treaty that Kaiser would enforce, so that the Kingdom wouldn't be tied up and distracted with border skirmishes and raids.
On top of that -- with the Evil God of Chastity and Purity coming in around two and a half years, Kaiser was exactly the kind of person you wanted on your side.
So the kings were planning on the age-old gambit of ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’, and rallying the Farmlands and Wildlands into a coalition alliance to finally take down the Empress for good, with the Kingdom playing mediator between them.
After the Empress was dead and the Robolands defeated, the two kings hoped that things would settle into a new, peaceful status quo between the Farmlands and Wildlands.
…When I told them what I thought the chances of that were, Back King Harold rattled off, right off the top of his head, a good five or six different ways that peace could blow up in the space of two years.
…This was still the best option we could figure out.
Haaaaa…
Eh? Oh! Right, thanks. I lost my train of thought there.
The reason why I bring this up is because I was supposed to spend my time during my last pregnancy talking with the two ambassadors the kings had picked out, the leaders of the diplomatic teams being sent out.
The situation was always changing, and they needed to know if I required certain actions to be taken to optimize the chances of our plans succeeding -- as well as if anything changed that they needed to know.
I was the ‘agent in the field’, so to speak.
So, a few days after I got pregnant -- with my belly already large enough that standing up was becoming a chore -- I got to meet the two men that would be negotiating with the powerhouses of the third landmass.
It, ah.
…’Perfectly’ isn’t a word I’d use to describe how that went.
It started with the two of them entering into a small discussion chamber; I was already sitting down, and the table was, ah. Pulled away from me, a bit.
…
A fair bit, due to my belly.
A-anyway.
I was already sitting down, and feeling a bit slow as the two of them entered. One for each ruler. It was pretty obvious to determine who was for who.
One of the two ambassadors was a warrior in full plate armor, with several weapons strapped to different parts of his body. I recognized him immediately. This was Hayato, the Crown Champion.
Over the nearly two decades he'd been in the position, he'd been given as many Potential Freeing Elixirs as the kings could afford -- he told me during the meeting that he had [Physical Enhancement] and [Tactician] both at rank [S], and [Danger Sense] at rank [SSS].
Eh? Oh, yeah, no, there are absolutely talent ranks beyond [S]. It goes from [S] to [SS] to [SSS] to [N/A].
Going beyond [S] doesn’t increase the raw power of a talent; it does something much more horrifying. It broadens the description.
Taking Shimizu’s [Swordsmistress] talent, at [SS] it might apply to all melee weapons. At [SSS], all weapons. [N/A], all forms of combat whatsoever.
Frustratingly?
You can never earn those talents in the games.
Sure, the 'real reason' is that the story of Alchemical Corruption Twelve is tied for the longest timespan for lasting five years, and it's functionally impossible to get more than rank [S] in that short a time. But in gameplay? It means beyond [S] is the domain of NPCs that come in to show off how much more badass they are than your playable characters!
Argh!
-- what?
Right! Right.
Ambassadors.
Anyway. I knew that Hayato would be easy to work with -- not because I knew him from the games, but because I had met him before, in the King’s castle, and he had the air of a warrior.
He wasn’t dumb, but he preferred to keep things simple. ‘Obey the Kings’, ‘Do the task’, things like that. I knew that even if he disagreed with what I said, unless it was something that would endanger the kings or the Kingdom itself, he’d do it anyway -- to the best of his ability.
I have no idea what the Kings did to earn that level of loyalty, but I’ve always been a bit too scared to ask.
It was the other ambassador that was the problem.
I don’t even remember his name -- okay, no, that’s a lie, I choose to not share his name because he isn’t worth the mental effort to remember. Oh don’t misunderstand, he was the perfect ambassador for Big Bull. He worked hard, he was honest, and he was an accountant to the bone whose idea of exciting was eating out for dinner during the holidays. It was obvious Big Bull would like him. He was reliable and predictable.
The problem was that he took one look at my massively pregnant belly, my unfocused smile as I gently patted it, Brutus occasionally pawing his way up onto me, and then glanced at Shimizu in her ‘savage warrior’ attire, and he immediately dismissed Shimizu as 'dumb muscle' and me as ‘a useless slut’.
Which, uh. Well. I suppose I can't blame him for –
…Wait. Wait, no, half the kingdom's best experts were sluts, I can absolutely blame him!
Hrmf. Sexism is hot but bad, okay?
…Ah, um, yes. I have -- you know, a touch of brainwashing left over here and there. Not much, just --
A-anyway! Shimizu and Hayato were busy sizing each other up as they talked, and I was a bit too worried about the two of them breaking off from the meeting to spar inside the building to focus on what mister bean counter was saying.
His frustration was palpable, especially when it became increasingly clear that I wasn’t at my best. It was when he said that he had ‘no need to listen to a cock-addict broodmare’ that I managed to focus on him.
Not, um, because I was insulted, but because it was so out of tune with what had been said so far.
At that point, I tried to engage him in a proper discussion -- but he kept on blowing me off, clearly done with me. I started getting firmer, and firmer, and he pretended not to notice.
I was about to start getting snippy when we both realized that Hayato had stopped talking to Shimizu and was glaring at him. That got him to squirm, and he asked Hayato if there was a problem.
Hayato looked him in the eye, and he said, "Yes. Your conduct.. Apologize to his majesty's guest, the honorable Lady Ambrosia."
Which he, uh, did, because strongest knight in the kingdom, but then things got really silent and awkward afterwards.
Shimizu was the one who managed to fix it!
Shimizu was getting tired of the awkwardness and said, “Okay, that’s enough. If she sucks your cock, would that count as an apology for being so scrambled?”
…I don’t think that he thought she was serious when he accepted.
But he was too proud of his word to back down when I, ah, well, easily agreed.
Hormones!
…Also, come on, what man can resist a free blowjob from an expert like myself?
Though he still clearly thought nothing of me, he at least managed to keep a lid on it from that point on.
It was an -- interesting start to the complications of diplomacy.