Chapter 59 – Vulnerability (Aria’s POV)
I woke up alone on the bed with Lumen, the Luminous Hummingbird that Dad gifted me on my last birthday, cheerfully flying inside the room. Looking at its bright yellow color, which signifies happiness, Letty must have really enjoyed last night as well. She seems to have woken up earlier and left.
God, that wine incident was so embarrassing. I almost messed up the night if it weren’t for the cocktail coming to my rescue. But seeing Letty have a blast, especially towards the end, made it all worth it.
More importantly, I should use this alone time to contemplate what happened last night and my feelings. Everything went well, except for the moment when I saw a very rare emotion on my sweet Letty’s face. Desire.
She usually does a great job of masking her emotions when she wants to, but when I gestured for her to come over to my seat, her eyes showed pure desire. I was scared for a moment that I might have pushed her too far, but she collected herself and gently laid down in my embrace. And nothing happened…
Now that I’m sober and clear-headed, I’m more confused than ever before. I clearly love her, and I want her too. But why do I feel this way? Why was I scared?
It has happened before in the past on my birthday when Letty thought she was committing some ‘sin’. She clearly expressed her desire for me. But I just couldn’t take the step. I was afraid back then, and I am afraid now.
It’s so ridiculous, we are on course to marry each other. And for me, this one step would practically cross the point of no return. I so- want that! Yet here I am, acting like a little girl. I understand that it’s not a physical relationship that I’m scared of, it’s the kind of feeling I was experiencing back when I was first reborn. The fear of losing them all.
Seventeen years- For seventeen whole years, I’ve kept telling everyone and myself that I don’t miss my mom - That I don’t miss my family, and I’m totally over it. But right now, I want nothing more than a single glance at them.
The truth is that I still miss them… And I’m scared that-
Letty abruptly opened the door and came running. She hugged me tightly, started rubbing my back, and said, “Hush- hush, it’s going to be okay. I’m here now. Don’t cry…”
Without noticing, I seem to have started crying at some point. Feeling safe under Letty’s gentleness and warmth, I let my tears out. Her heartbeat acted as a calming agent for my sobs as I slowly regained my strength.
We stayed like that for a while. Although the tears stopped, the ache in my heart still persists. With this, I realized one thing for sure, I might try to act tough, but I still miss my previous life’s parents. And I’m likely never going to get rid of this heartache.
“Here, drink some water. And If you’ve calmed down, tell me what happened. You were so happy until you woke up, is it a nightmare?”, she gently asked.
Telling her about it would probably make her more confused about how she should approach me. And besides, this is something I need to deal with on my own.
I gulped down the water and softly answered, “Yeah…”.
“Aw, don’t be scared. Do you want to talk about it? Nightmares aren’t that scary when you talk to someone about them”, she said.
“Stop treating me like a little baby”, I tried to toughen up, but my voice came out rather cutesy.
She chuckled. “Yeah yeah, you are my big baby. Now show me a smile”. Giving up, I gave her a smile at last.
“There it is”, she pinched my nose.
Although she’s worried about my outburst, I can see that she’s trying her best to make me feel better.
“Stop it!”
“Alright, I’ll stop. If you don’t want to tell me about the nightmare, it’s fine… Then let me tell you about my nightmare instead - when I was seven, there were countless times when I saw this big dog in an alleyway. I was so scared of it that it often haunted me in my dreams.
So one day, I asked the person who taught me to read about these nightmares. Imagine my horror when he brought the same dog from my nightmares to our area. He then gently taught me how to handle animals with care, and I ended up befriending my nightmare.
So, what I mean to say is that you can do it too! And if you need any help, I’m here”, she said.
Did she just compare her seven-year-old self to the current me? Argh- forget it… I’m acting like a baby anyway…
I’ve tried suppressing my feelings and acting tough for seventeen years, but that’s clearly not working. So kinda like my brave girlfriend’s seven-year-old self, I gotta face my feelings head-on.
Maybe I had it all wrong. All the memories, feelings, and emotions that I carry from my past life are also part of me. So rather than treating it as a weakness, I should embrace it. And strengthen myself to live with it.
“Thanks, Letty, that actually helped. And I’ll tell you if I need anything”
It might take a little while, but I’ll get there. Thanks for your patience, Letty.
…
Heh, so much for being the ‘cool’ girlfriend.
And now I’m embarrassed again… God, why did I say such embarrassing words - “Do you think I’m cool?”; Maybe I really am still a kid, as Letty keeps teasing me…
“You are worrying me, Aria. One moment you are crying, and the next you are blushing. Are you okay?”, she asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just do me a favor and forget what I talked about yesterday. It was the alcohol speaking, not me”, I said.
“Sure, whatever my little girlfriend says”, she teased.
“I was drunk, okay. And don’t call me little. I’m taller than you and mentally way older than you. And besides, you were drunk yourself. Remember how you got scared of the fireworks show? Hmph, I’m starting to miss the obedient Letty” I said, pouting my lips.
“Oh, so you want me to be obedient? Why didn’t you say so before, Mistress? I’ll be the most obedient slave in history if you wish”, although she says that, her tone is clearly teasing me. She hops on the bed and starts kissing me.
“Mu - Stop it, Letty. I’ll let you have this one. But let me clean up first, my face is full of tears”
“Hehe, I’m glad you are feeling better now”
While bathing, I asked, “Come to think of it, how did you know I was having an outburst when you came running?”
“The system actually issued a quest, saying you needed me. So I came running”, she replied.
“Wow, your S-grade quests are as weird as ever”, I said. “Can I look at it?”
“Sure”, she said.
Even though I can see her status as a privilege of being her master, I try not to abuse my powers as much as possible.
I opened the quest screen and saw,
-------------------------------------
Quest Completed–
Comfort your mistress.
Rewards:
15 EXP
-------------------------------------
“Wait, 15 EXP just for this? This is so unfair! I need to develop some crazy gadgets for measly 20 EXP, and you get fifteen just for consoling me. Just wow…”
“Well, my system has its quirks”, she said, “Look, I leveled up”,
-------------------------------------
Congratulations on reaching level 5.
You have unlocked the following class-specific skill –
Perception - Lvl 1
You have 1 unspent Stat Point.
-------------------------------------
I checked the skill,
-------------------------------------
Perception - Lvl 1
You can perceive your Master’s desire without being told. You’ll gain 25% extra SP for fulfilling ‘perceived’ desires.
// Upgrade the skill to unlock other perks.
Usage Requirements:
0.5 MP
Master’s permission
-------------------------------------
“Why do I feel like my privacy is being invaded? Sigh, I’ll allow you to use it as you see fit, but try not to overdo it”, I said.
Suddenly, I felt a pulse of mana bounce off me, and Letty gave me a tight hug from behind, pressing her naked breasts against my back, saying, “There you go!”.
“Hey, at least wait till we leave the bath and get dressed”, I said.
“Hehe, I just got a strong weapon, and I’ll use it wisely”
What did I just agree to…
***
A few days have passed since then. Letty and I were busy in our office at the company when the kid, Wies, came to visit.
“Lady Letica, I have something to show you!”, he said.
“What is it, brat?”, I asked.
He growled at me and said, “Remember how we were playing with my skill yesterday? It seems like I leveled up after that. For some reason, I receive EXP when I use it on you, even though my quest has nothing to do with it. And now I’m level three!”.
What is this? ‘Level up’ week? I also want to level up…
“Really? Congrats!”, Letty said, patting him on the head.
Mou.. I don’t like Letty patting others. If she likes to pat, she should just ask me. Why does she have to pat that brat’s head?
And did that brat just smirk at me? He’s got some nerves.
“Letty, see this document here, there seems to be a mistake”, I called her over.
“Where?-”, as Letty was coming over, Weis said, “Listen to me first, my new skill lets me predict a person’s loyalty towards a target. Technically, it’s supposed to identify someone’s loyalty/faith towards God, but I have an additional option to change the target”
“I don’t believe you, that’s way too good for a D-grade Talent, not that I want to discriminate, but seriously, such a skill is way too broken to be unlocked by a brat like you. And why would you receive EXP for using your skills on Letty? That makes no sense”, I said.
“Aria, be good”, she sternly said, “And she doesn’t mean it, Weis, don’t take it to heart”, Letty interjected.
“It’s true, tho. Maybe you are not the only one who’s special. Should I try using it?”, he said, glaring at me.
“Alright… And sorry”, I mumbled.
Given the details, everything points towards a clear culprit, Letty’s system, which also happens to be a part of my soul. I guess it’s fine if it works in our favor, but I don’t like how it’s interfering in our lives.
“If I am able to prove my skill’s worth, would you hire me permanently under Miss Letica? I’ll go and look for any spies or disloyal people in the company, and you can check their backgrounds to verify my claim”, he suggested.
As I was about to say something snarky, “Alright, little Weis, you’ll get what you want if you can prove your worth. But you likely won’t find any inside the company, as we only hire trustworthy people. So as long as you can prove your skill, it should be enough”, Letty said.
C’mon, Aria, snap out of it. Don’t get jealous over a little brat. I’ll have Letty all to myself as soon as he leaves.
“Give me a few days, I can only use the skill so many times with my current MP capacity”, he said, and left towards the workspace to find any spies.