02.09: Reveal

The next morning, the Erz range’s beautiful vista spread in front of us, the mountains rising in layers of blues and grays underneath a clear sky. Fresh morning air filled my lungs, carrying the scent of pine and stone, and a hint of lavender.

I rolled my shoulders carefully, testing my body’s limits. Two weeks had passed since the attack.

The pain had receded from a command to mild warning. I could even walk without a crutch, as long as I was careful. If I wasn’t, pain would shoot through my abdomen like a lightning strike. I had no desire to repeat that experience again.

I still used a cane; best not to flaunt the divine blessing around. Some people might use a more sinister word than miracle for my unnaturally quick recovery.

My lively, swarthy companion sat next to me, sipping tea and humming a melody from her homeland, looking scrumptious in the blue and white gown she had worn the first time we met.

The doors to the balcony opened.

Jack’s mother entered first, composed as ever. She was followed by Elric, immaculately dressed despite the dark shadows under his eyes. Moore came last, looking the proper young knight as ever; straight posture and precise steps.

Elric and Moore bowed and took their seats at my gesture.

Lady Erenna’s gaze flicked around. “I don’t see the Royal Guards.”

“I sent them away,” I replied. “I didn’t want either of them hearing this discussion.”

That earned me sharp looks, especially from Reshma.

“And them?” Reshma pointed to the two soldiers from Chadom.

“Their loyalty is absolute.”

“Why?” she asked sharply.

“Nothing ties them to Nanon. No family, no interests.”

That did not fully satisfy her, but she let it pass.

I began without ceremony. “I’ve been going through the estate ledgers, and you have done a good job, Elric.”

He inclined his head. “I only did what was required, Sire.”

I waggled a finger. “Not just the bare minimum, but thorough work; more than what is expected of you. That deserves recognition.”

A faint flush crept up his neck. I turned to Moore.

“The common soldiers speak highly of you, Sir Moore. You’ve done well as a castellan, especially for your age.”

He stiffened and bowed deeply. “I was only following your orders, Sire.”

Across the table, Reshma’s eyes narrowed over the rim of her teacup.

Shit.

I did my best to not acknowledge it.

I’m supposed to be only a year older than him, not over a decade. Don’t talk down to young people like that.

“Where are you going with this?” She set the cup down with a deliberate clink.

I shot her a warning look that said, “What the fuck are you doing?”

She rolled her eyes. “They already know.”

“You told them?” my voice rose in anger.

“No,” she said quietly, with heat in her voice, “but functionaries don’t usually bawl their eyes out even when their superior is dying on the floor from his own idiocy. They’re not fools,” she pointed to the rest of them.

My eyes flicked to them. Restrained smiles and nods answered me.

“How many know?” I asked, defeated.

“Many,” my mother answered. “Lady Reshma’s grief echoed throughout the keep for some time. Isanna had to console both of us.”

I looked sympathetically at my poor lively girl, squeezing her knee. “I’m sorry.”

She placed a slim hand on mine.

“It’s fine, handsome,” she said softly, “a high noble without a mistress is rarer than an honest tax collector.”

I nodded in comprehension. As long as the exact nature of the relationship between the three of us remained in the dark, we should be fine.

“Does Laira know about the… incident?”

“Yes, but I might have understated the severity of your injury.”

“Lying to our monarch. That’s a serious offense,” I said in mock indignation.

“I didn’t want her coming here,” she hissed. “She sent another troop of hundred soldiers just in response to what I told her.”

My mother began, “The Queen-”

I interjected, “She knows about the two of us, mother, and it would be better if we did not discuss the details, ever.”

She studied me for a long moment, then inclined her head. “Very well.”

I almost snorted in relief, imagining their reactions if I told them what kind of deviant their monarch was. Reshma shot me a threatening glare.

Giving her a placating gesture, I exhaled, prepared myself and continued.

“I suppose you should know the whole truth. There is… another. In Chadom. Her name is Aprilia. A sweet and smart girl, and yes, Laira knows about her as well.”

Moore and Elric struggled to not smile, while Jack’s mother definitely did not look amused. It was Reshma’s turn to smirk, enjoying my discomfort. At least my behavior was consistent with the lecher Jack used to be.

Lady Erenna was about to go on a lecture about excess, when I stopped her with a gesture.

“I know, mother, but I’m not going around collecting every fetching woman my eyes land upon, I promise.”

“Really?” she asked, as if daring me to contradict her.

“Yes. Things just… fell into place.”

“How?”

“I was lonely and found myself a woman in Chadom. I didn’t marry her, as I had to remain available for a political marriage in the future. How was I to know it would all happen this quickly?”

“So you weren’t planning on coming back?” she asked angrily.

“With father here? Didn’t he disown me?”

She looked away in shame.

We all had breakfast in silence; porridge with cream and fruits. Safe, familiar, with a few highlights.

When the bowls were cleared, Jack’s mother spoke again.

“What is this ‘Chadom’ place? How come no one has heard of it before?”

“It’s a realm beyond the Treacherous Bog, nestled within the mountains. Small and isolated, but very ingenious people. I led the Cha there, and they decided to elect me as their leader.”

They all absorbed it without comment. I did not plan on clarifying that Chadom was just me and the Cha refugees.

I continued, “I did not invite you all together to discuss Chadom or my private life, but the future of our county and our family, all of which is uncertain at the moment.”

All eyes fixed on me.

I drew in a breath. If I wanted to move Nanon away from the whims of unchecked authority, why not begin at home?

“I gathered you here because I will not always be here.”

They stiffened in response.

“The Queen chose me as her consort because I proved to her that I can help her make Nanon strong enough to survive what is coming,” I said. “That work will keep me in Chadom and Aldersthron for long stretches, building weapons, infrastructure, organizations and only God-knows-what. While I’m absent, the county must remain stable, as it will be the source of iron and coal necessary for my work. It must not fall back into the hands of incompetents and parasites. Otherwise, all of Nanon is lost.”

I let them absorb those words.

“I intend to establish a ruling council,” I continued. “One empowered to govern on my behalf.”

Elric frowned. “It would dilute authority.”

“As long as your goals and loyalties remain aligned, that’s not a bad thing.”

Lady Erenna remained silent.

“You’ve changed,” she said quietly.

“You were always clever,” she continued, her gaze fixed on me, “but more carefree.”

The table remained quiet. I tried my best to keep my face from showing the panic roiling within. I put the cup of tea down, carefully, buying some time to compose myself.

“You don’t smile the same way you used to.”

She studied my face, searching it the way mothers do when they sense something is wrong.

“What happened to you, Jack?” she asked.

That hurt as much as the blade that almost killed me. Taking a long breath, I forced myself to look her in the face.

“I did not tell you,” I said slowly, “but I almost died at the hands of father’s men that were pursuing the Cha refugees. As I lay on the verge of death, I had a profound experience. It changed me.”

That was the closest to truth I was going to tell her.

Tears began to gather in her eyes, prompting me to clasp her hand.

She wiped them away, and sniffled. “I should have protected you,” she said hoarsely. “From him.”

“It wasn’t your doing,” I said quickly.

She shook her head. “I should have done something. I told myself you were strong enough to survive him. It was easier than admitting I was afraid of him.”

Noblewomen did not admit things like that in public.

“I survived,” I said.

She gave a brittle smile. “You did.”

Her gaze lingered on my face, searching. “But I sometimes wonder who came back.”

Well, shit.

Truth was my most cherished value, and I was hiding it from this poor woman. Ignoring it brought down the behemoth of USSR; who the hell was I to survive it?

Wetting my lips, I made the decision.

“Let us talk in private,” I said, pushing my chair back.

As she rose hesitantly, I looked back at Reshma, who was watching me like a hawk. The perceptive firecracker was already onto me. Might as well clear things up with her.

I pointed to the door with my chin. “You as well.”

She rose swiftly and followed, as I walked beside Jack’s mother, her steps wavering.

I’m a goddamn idiot, I chided myself. I’m going to destroy my life and a whole nation for a bloody principle.

And yet, I kept walking.

We stepped into the first empty chamber I found.

I locked the door and turned to face the older woman.

“I have been keeping many secrets,” I said, “because if they are revealed, Nanon’s future is finished. I don’t think it will survive without the knowledge that lies in my head.”

She hesitantly raised her eyes to meet mine.

“You’re not Jack,” she said.