Chapter 105: He who holds the horn. (10)

Abigail and Caine had a good and long talk, minutes whittling away into hours as they openly shared what truths they could. Caine was clearly hiding some things, but a few clever questions made it clearer that it was more correct to say that he physically couldn’t say anything about it. It was concerning, but she was confident that enough well-worded questions could help her approach the truth. But just as she was planning to spend the rest of the day talking with Caine, one of the servants she had sent away knocked on the door.

“Please forgive me for intruding, My Lady. But Viscount Indra has arrived demanding an audience with you. We have tried to send him away, but he is refusing to leave the gates. How would you like us to proceed?”

The words of the servant naturally brought a hasty halt to whatever they were talking about. Really, the two of them could have done just about anything, but nothing would be more important than the visit of Viscount Indra. Gabriel Sakra Indra, the current name of Azuras, who had already destroyed their lives an untold number of times before. He was the whole reason behind the loop so how could his visit not take top priority?

“You can bring him straight here.”

A long breath escaped Abigail as her gaze turned towards the door. Now, the visit of Azuras may be of extreme importance for another reason entirely. Parts of her wanted it to be true, and another part wanted for her guess to be wrong. It was a very strange feeling.

The door opened shortly after, an all too familiar figure stood in the doorway. Semi-long whitish-silver hair with a few loose strands, and violet eyes that felt like knives as they slid across her skin. It was the appearance associated with her nightmares, it was this face she saw when she woke up crying in the middle of the night.

“Ah, Gabriel, what bri…”

Caine, not quite understanding why Gabriel had shown up, and was looking at Abigail so intently, tried to speak up to break the silence. But his words were cut short by Gabriel.

“The first tenet to living as a good person?”

It was a question as much as it was a statement, Gabriel and Abigail locking eyes. They were inspecting each other, visually digging out truths from within the other party.

“The actual first tenet or the one that the monster made us replace it with?”

The answer to his question was another question, but that was what made it serve as the perfect answer. Why? Well because it was a secret known to only three people.

“Veronica Vargas.”

“/&(&/(%&/ ¤%&##.”

The name that fell from his lips almost felt unfamiliar, but the one that fell from hers was almost entirely foreign to him, it almost sounded like a warbled blur. But it was his, he knew that. Abandoned long ago, but still his at some point.

The two looked at each other, Abigail’s eyes quivering as tears started to form in their corners. Her fingers trembled, and the names they uttered helped Caine form something of an understanding about what was going on.

When he understood, he also realized what Azuras meant with what he said previously, when Caine first got a hold of him after he met Gabriel face-to-face for the first time.

"Don’t forget, Caine. Your losses didn’t start here. Not yours, not your princesses, none of your losses started here."

If Gabriel really was her brother then yes, Abigail’s losses didn’t start here. But then… What had he lost in his previous world? And how would it be tied to Gabriel’s previous life?

“It wasn’t a show.”

Compared to what the teary Abigail expected, Gabriel’s opening statement was something that seemed entirely unrelated.

He’d had his musings, but he’d never had any proof towards either side. But now it was proven, this world had never been a show, and Alice had never been just words on paper transferred to the screen. This was a living breathing world, unshackled from any author.

A soft breath escaped him, but Abigail caught something in that breath. Or perhaps it was his eyes, or his being, or just his air. Her feet brought her forward, her steps slow and somewhat unsteady as she couldn’t tear her gaze away from Gabriel’s eyes. Her hand reached for his cheek, but he pulled back before she could touch him.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to protect you, but I only made it worse.”

How long had she carried those words? How long had she wanted to apologize to the little boy that she ended up abandoning when she came here? She had ruined his life, at least more than it already was, and then she had just left him to suffer it all alone.

“You have nothing to apologize for, you simply followed the third tenet.”

She would have preferred if Gabriel cursed at her, if he shouted at her or blamed her for the misery he undoubtedly endured. This calm acceptance… It only made the pain in her chest grow ever deeper.

“You didn’t come here by choice, did you?”

Her smile twisted slightly, something akin to a grimace forming. It wasn’t hard to guess, if he had come here willingly then she would know because the god who brought him over would have to explain to the other gods why he brought him into the loop. And one of those gods would be Kaisel, even if they had already abandoned their authority.

Thus, he clearly wasn’t brought here by one of the other gods. But no World Fissures, other than the one that brought in Caine or the occasional monster, had opened in the last 20 or so years so he didn’t come through one of those either. Evidently, he must have fallen here some other way.

“No. I just found myself in this body after I jumped from my apartment building.”

Gabriel still didn’t know how he ended up in this world. His sister had apparently made a deal with a god, but he had done no such thing. He just died and then woke up again.

“You… Jumped?”

He spoke of it with an eerie calmness, as if he was entirely detached from it, and that only made the statement worse for Abigail. Just how far had they pushed him that he not only took his own life, but also spoke of it so nonchalantly. Her eyes were swimming with questions, but she couldn’t even decide if she was worthy of asking, much less what she should ask.

“It wasn’t what you’re thinking. I simply saw no reason not to do it.”

Luckily, Gabriel spoke up again when he saw her gaze, still studying her eyes intently with a calm expression. Luckily? Could she even call it that with how he answered? He killed himself simply because he saw no reason not to do it?

“…When was it?”

She squeezed out the words through grit teeth. When did he do it, when did he no longer see a reason to keep on living? Was it shortly after she left, did she rob him of the last shred of life he had left when she abandoned him? If that was the answer perhaps he would curse at her so that she would get a measure of peace. But no, she wasn’t afforded that.

“I don’t know.”

When did he jump? He didn’t know. He could somewhat recall the snow and the chill, but he wouldn’t be able to say what year it was, or for how long he had been working after his sister’s death.

“How old were you?”

Abigail questioned further. She feared the answer, but she had to ask, she needed to know how much she should hate herself and those who drove her brother to that end. But the answer remained the same.

“I don’t know.”

His age at the time… No, he drew a blank on that. And the reason was very simple.

“You didn’t keep track of your birthdays?”

Abigail could guess it. The brother she knew was clever, he remembered things quickly if he tried to. So if he didn’t know his age then it was because he stopped trying to remember it.

“When you died, there was no one left to remember it.”

After his father died, his sister was the only person to celebrate his birthday. Who was supposed to do it after she disappeared? No, when he buried her, he lost his birthday, because there was no longer anyone who would care about it.

“No friends? No comrades? No one close to you?”

Her throat felt sourer with each question. She knew that it would be bad after she disappeared, but she hoped that he would at least form a friend during the battle, or perhaps after the civil war was over. But the calm, almost blank stare that inspected her, told her everything she needed to know.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… £@£$[…”

The tears she was struggling to hold back finally fell, her hands clenching until her knuckles turned white. She sputtered out several apologies, but she was cut off by Gabriel when she tried to utter his name.

“Gabriel.”

It was a simple word, but a powerful voice, a firm voice.

“…”

The eyes looking at her did not waver, preventing her from uttering a response. But it didn’t seem like he was waiting for a response, as he took the initiative to speak up.

“Gabriel, my name is Gabriel.”

That warbled name… He had abandoned it long ago, before he even came to this world. Call Sign: Ouroboros, that was the only thing he was ever called, that was what was used to erase him. So the name she kept trying to call him, the words that barely registered in his ears, they could not be used on the current him.

“You’ve chosen to abandon the past?”

A complete and utter abandonment. Of the place they came from, of the person he used to be, of the life he once lived. She could see the answer in his eyes. That past didn’t matter to him, perhaps it had long since stopped doing so.

“Have you not?”

Contrary to her expectations, he returned her question with one of his own, a slight tilt of his head as he kept looking straight at her. Ever since those doors opened, he had never stopped looking at her. Never stopped inspecting her.

“The way you talk is different. There’s a twinkling that still lingers, but the light in your eyes is also different. The way you carry yourself, the air around you, it’s all different.”

He could see parts that still reminded him of his sister, but it was just shadows of the past. In her absence, he had lived and grown, both in this world and in the previous one. But conversely, she had done the same in his absence. Parts of his sister remained, but she was almost completely different. That was the inevitable truth, he was just making it clear to her.

“Veronica Vargas is dead, I buried her empty coffin. {$[]}+£ )/(&¤% is also dead. You are Abigail De Earhart, and I am Gabriel Sakra Indra. The past is dead.”

She stood there as if frozen as Gabriel spoke in his calm voice. The parts of his sister that remained in those eyes, he could see their darkness. He could see how they twisted in pain, how they clawed at themselves in agony. That was why he was making it clear beyond a doubt, to both of them.

“If you were given the choice today, to go back there and start over, to try again. Would you accept?”

He posed it as a question, but he didn’t expect an answer. Abigail jolted for a moment, her gaze unconsciously landing on Caine, who was sitting as quietly as he could so that he would not interfere with their moment. When she turned back, he could see the answer in her eyes, an answer that only made the agony grow deeper. But he rejected that pain.

“And neither would I. So the past is dead, Abigail. Let its misery and its apologies rest in the grave with it.”

Gabriel would not go back, even if the gods offered him the chance to go back to when he was a child, with all his memories and powers intact. He had made his choice, and he chose Alice.

“I am Gabriel Sakra Indra, future husband of Alice De Vritara. If you would like to build a relationship with me, then I would not reject.”

His hand stretched out as he spoke, closing the distance he had put between him and Abigail earlier. All she would have to do to bridge it would be to stretch out her own hand.

She looked at the hand for a few moments, dumbfounded as she replayed his words in her head. Eventually, the corners of her lips turned up slightly, despite her tears. Ah, so even after he was painted in all black, that brother of hers was still so kind. How could she not grab his hand and close the distance?

“Gabriel Sakra Indra, I am Abigail De Earhart, future wife of Caine Woodime. I would love it if we could build a friendly and familial relationship that will last into the future.”

Just ignore this part here, just testing the formatting for a different project im tinkering with.