The Eternal Night of Ky’lar

(¡¡¡TARARÁ-CHÁN-CHÁN-CHÁN~!!! ♫)

... Let's see, let's do this one more time; let's stop the flow of the story for a brief instant and make a pause to assimilate the absolute madness unfolding before our eyes.

(¡¡PUM-PUM-TRÁaa-CHIN~!! ♥)

Surely at this exact moment you are rubbing your eyes, checking your screen, and wondering what kind of spatiotemporal distortion reality has just suffered... Right?

"BURP~!!! ... MORE MEAT, BRING MORE MEAT!!! OOOOOOOH~ ♥"

And I understand you perfectly! If I were you, I would also be demanding a drug test for the damn author.

"Waaaaah! Let me drink in peace! Life is garbage... hic... bring another pitcher, damn it... WAAAAAH!"

Seriously... In moments like this... What a joy to have you back, dear reader!

(Glup-glup-glup-glup! — ¡¡CLANK!!)

Though even so, don't think I've forgiven you for neglecting me so much by wandering off to watch other stories or points of view... Did you hear me?!

"Hey, you! Watch out for the boiling point of that barrel! Don't mix the fermented liquid with the saturated fat that way!"

But leaving that aside, honestly, I wish you had tuned into the frequency at a less... degrading moment for my civil dignity.

"You're going to choke if you eat it like that?!"

Just look around! Look at them!

"Hey, boss! This is delicious!"

If we direct our attention to the left flank, we have a mature woman who radiates the imposing and protective aura of a perfect housewife.

"HA-HA-HA-HA!"

The ideal type of older sister who would welcome you with a warm smile... if it weren't for the fact that she is currently wearing a micro bikini that defies all laws of textile resistance, devouring pieces of roasted meat with her bare hands and tearing the food apart like an alpha predator.

... Yes, it's just as you heard... However, even though it might not seem like it... That is not the most bizarre part of the situation...

"Waaaaah! The honor of my clan went to hell... hic...!"

Now, as you can see, if we look toward the right flank.

"Why did I end up wearing libidinous healer clothes?!"

There is a primary school-aged girl, with the physical appearance of a shy, withdrawn, and easily frightened young girl who would probably ask for permission to speak... but who is currently chugging down entire pitchers of pure seventy-degree alcohol!

"Bring more wine, damn it, I want to forget!"

Yep, she is completely drunk, crying her eyes out while wearing an ultra-tight nurse outfit whose seams are on the verge of structural collapse.

""""HA-HA-HA-HA!!! — CHEERS!!!!""""

But it doesn't end there! Because if we sharpen our peripheral vision toward the borderline between the trees, the only thing we'll find is the image of a group of girls with a look that screams "high school delinquents" from every pore, with hair dyed in neon colors, piercings in their ears and eyebrows, and even some rebellious tattoo peeking through their skin.

"Listen, comrade... the last campaign on the northern front was an absolute hell, but we held the line."

But as soon as they open their mouths... surprise!

"There is no dishonor in retreating if the enemy's steel shatters our shield."

They chat among themselves with the righteousness, the code of honor, and the rough camaraderie of a war veteran or an adventurer seasoned in a thousand fantasy battles.

"True, my sister-in-arms. Valor is not measured by victories, but by loyalty to the alliance."

Yes, just as you are seeing it! No camera tricks!

"By the way... could you help me adjust the straps on this cowgirl outfit? The leather is pinching my shoulder blades, and it's going to be hard for me to unsheathe my greatsword if a beast ambushes us."

... That reminds me... Now that I think about it... Where the hell did they get the weapons from...?

No, you know what, forget it, and let's get back to the plotline or whatever... Ahem... You see, it turns out that after finishing the preparation of the massive meal to feed this army, one event led to another, and in the end, without even understanding how, an uncontrollable chain reaction was created.

The result...?

"Haaaaaaah... I'm tired..."

A party of a level of debauchery so colossal, absurd, and chaotic that the only valid comparison would be a pirate celebration in the most exaggerated arc of a high-seas story.

"... Wait a second... Don't throw up there?!"

There is music, there are shouts, there are drunken tears, and an absolute contempt for the laws of modesty.

Isn't this typical in my day-to-day life?

.... You are right... But even so... At what point did my peaceful routine turn into the catering service for a carnival of madness...?

"BLEEEEEEGH~... ugh... uaaaagh!!!"

However, there is no time to reflect...

"There, there, up... Everything is fine... Let it all out..."

...... Yes, the madness is definitely intensifying.

(¡¡¡TARARÁ-CHÁN-CHÁN-CHÁN~!!! ♫)

And while the music resonates with an intensity that basically makes the entire clearing vibrate, I am still here, dealing with what I would consider a genuine biohazard in the middle of this disaster.

(¡Frott-frott-frott!)

You are probably wondering... What are you doing right now...?

"Keep your torso steady, or you're going to end up hurting your esophagus."

Well, the answer is that right here, kneeling in front of a bush, we have a true high-society lady.

"...Ah...! Haaaaah...!!!"

The perfect epitome of an Ojou-sama with the legendary drill-shaped ringlets and massive attributes, but who is currently wearing fine lingerie that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"There, there, up... Everything is fine..."

However, contrary to her physical appearance, there she was, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the damp grass while I, out of pure compassion, give her a series of rhythmic pats on the back.

"Calm down, yeah... It already passed... Everything will be fine..."

But as you can already imagine, these are no simple, ordinary pats.

Because taking advantage of the contact, I am applying my massage arts, combining the Restorative Massage Art with the Relaxing Massage Art!

"...Ugh... Oh, heavens..." (Blinks~)

And the result was immediate.

"THANK YOU, GREAT MOTHER...!!!"

In an instant, the heaviness in her eyes disappears, and her vision regains its sharpness.

"PRAISED BE YOUR DIVINE MERCY!!!"

The relief in her body is so absolute that, with eyes full of reverence, she stares intently at me.

(¡SLURP! — ¡¡Fwup!!)

... And before I can react, the refined lady lunges forward and gives me a tremendous lick right on the cheek, identical to a retriever overflowing with joy, only to immediately spin around and dash off at full speed on all fours straight into the crowd.

"WOOF, WOOF!!!"

Okay, I want to clarify that I don't have any disgusting fetish or anything of the sort...

"..."

So I would have preferred a thousand times over not to have been licked by the exact same tongue that, moments prior, had been bathed in vomit...!

(¡¡¡TUN-TUN-PUM-CHÁAA~!!! ♥)

However, as I watched her lose herself in the crowd, I exhaled a deep sigh, directing my gaze toward the sky for a brief instant, contemplating the silver flash of Ky'lar's twin moons to try to regain a bit of my mental stability.

"Haaa... no, the smell of gastric juices nearby is definitely going to end up killing me."

But coming to my senses due to the residual stench of the bush, I brushed off my knees and stood up from the ground automatically!

"Well, I give up... So, time to walk."

And deciding that the best thing for my internal health was to walk a bit, get some fresh air, and get away from the biohazard zone to calm down, it was then that I began to move forward.

"Time to party!"

Thus, with my arms crossed and a peaceful stride, I began to make my way through the clearing, resigning myself to simply enjoying the festival that I myself had accidentally unleashed.

"Though having said that..."

Nonetheless, as I made my way into the epicenter of the bustle, the scene unfolding before me was a true chaos of contrasts.

"Wow... this really escalated to concerning levels..."

Due to the nature of these unreal beauties and the alarming lack of clothing, the situation in the clearing had become extremely peculiar, especially because of those emergency costumes that could be seen everywhere.

(¡¡¡JA-JA-JA-JA!!! — ¡¡¡PUM-PUM-TRÁaa!!! ♫)

.... In short, absolute visual madness.

"Don't give ground! If your guard falls now, you will have lost the guild's honor!"

If I looked to one side, a pair of schoolgirls who clearly possessed the mettle of veteran combatants were locked in an arm-wrestling duel over a fallen log.

"....."

The problem was that, since they were wearing bunny suits and stretchy bikinis, the physical effort clashed absurdly with the ridiculousness of the garments, giving the competition a rather suggestive atmosphere that stripped away all the seriousness they intended to project.

Then why are you looking?

Excellent question, dear reader! And the answer, obviously, is...

"Oh, look at what we have over there!"

Ah, but look at that—a bit further away, a group of adorable primary school girls were now staggering around holding pitchers of mead while chanting traditional songs with perfectly tuned voices; however, adding the drunkenness and the fact that they were wearing school uniforms and ultra-tight nurse outfits made the whole scene look like something out of an absurd comedy show.

Eh... Are you implying that I changed the subject?

How can you say that?! Do you not trust me despite everything we've been through together...?

I mean, after all, with everything I have to tolerate in my day-to-day life, my sense of modesty was already practically petrified in the face of these kinds of situations!

(¡Fwup!)

Therefore, naturally, maintaining my objective gaze, I walked right through the middle of the crowd without flinching.

"Let's see... this looks good."

And as I passed near one of the makeshift tables, I reached out my hand to grab a perfectly seasoned piece of meat that was still steaming.

"At least the food turned out just right..."

Okay, after taking an automatic bite while continuing my stroll, enjoying the food, I realized... that I can improve!

"... Indeed, I was lacking seasonings... Also, in exchange for speed, I sacrificed a certain degree of quality..."

Chewing slowly with the plate in my hand, I continued my progress along the edge of the clearing, turning my gaze toward a sector that, unlike the general uproar, maintained an almost sepulchral solemnity.

"Wow... they took the job seriously."

There, beneath the shade of what at least looked like an oak tree, stood a makeshift altar built with intertwined branches, wild flowers, and clean cloaks.

("Zzz~")

And right in the center, resting peacefully upon her red blanket, Goldie slept soundly, oblivious to the outside noise.

"Oh, great goddess, please give us your blessing..."

Meanwhile, around the altar, guarding the little one's sleep, was Clotilda alongside the other thirty women who had formed the first circle of salvation.

"... Oh, I recognize that one."

Among them, of course, I managed to recognize the girl with the violet braids and vermilion-rimmed glasses, who was now wearing a school uniform that fit her a bit tightly, but who kept her eyes fixed on the doll with absolute devotion.

"Quite the relay logistics..."

From what I could analyze by observing their subtle movements, this group was taking turns in a strictly military fashion to enjoy the party and eat, ensuring that the altar was never left unprotected.

"Well, everyone except Clotilda."

The apparent leader of the legion remained kneeling on the damp ground, hands clasped and forehead almost touching the earth, praying with a fervor so excessive it seemed as though her very existence depended on it.

"Though is it just me, or is Goldie glowing more and more...?"

However, as I kept up the pace of my chewing, a detail in my daughter's visual pattern interrupted my thoughts.

"... Haaa... If only Echidna weren't on sabbatical..."

Through the fibers of her golden straw, Goldie's residual glow was not fading with sleep; on the contrary, it seemed to increase its intensity millimeter by millimeter, emitting a constant thermal pulsation that subtly distorted the air around her.

Question: Should I be worried?

Answer: Probably yes.

Question: Then aren't you going to do anything...?

Answer: What the hell do you want me to do?!

"... Yep, all I can do is ask Echidna when she wakes up."

So, deciding to let the little one rest in peace, I turned my gaze away from the altar and looked around for the rest of my team to check that everything was in order.

"There they are!"

And it didn't take me long to locate them.

"Both Flora and Silver are together."

I looked up toward the structure of the inn, and right at the top of the roof, silhouetted against the silver glow of the twin moons, I found Silver and Flora sitting side by side.

"At least Silver is responsible..."

Despite the distance, I managed to notice that Silver was still moving with extreme diligence, completely focused on her assistance work; with a handkerchief in hand and methodical movements, she was taking care of cleaning and tending to the "mysterious" allergy of Flora, who remained seated with her little wings lowered and an unusual stiffness, dealing with those strange spasms and sneezes that, for some reason my common sense failed to catalog, seemed to intensify with every passing minute...

"... One second... Now that I think about it..."

But it was at that moment...

"Let's see... if I calculate the cooking time, the alcohol consumption per minute of the crowd, and the arm-wrestling rounds..."

... That I finally realized.

"What time is it...?"

Chewing the last piece of meat from my plate, I stood completely still in the middle of the clearing.

"To begin with... Is it still night...?"

Suddenly, a strange dissonance in my perception of the surroundings forced me to halt my stride.

"How strange..."

So in response, I looked up once more toward the firmament.

"... The moons are still high."

The twin moons of Ky'lar were still up there, static, imposing, and bathing the forest in their usual, cold silver influence.

"They've been like that since I woke up."

But that was precisely the problem.

"..."

The festival had already gone through dinner, dessert, the alcoholic uproar, and the gastric hangover phase, which meant that the second hand of reality should have already completed a considerable cycle.

"I need to check the time..."

But despite all the time that had passed... the darkness of the night showed not the slightest hint of wanting to give way to the dawn.

(¡Fwup!)

Therefore, to eliminate all doubt and verify the data with technical precision, I slipped my free hand into my dimensional pocket and pulled out my handheld console.

(¡¡Zzzz-zt... blink...!!!)

Thus, the cold plastic of the device felt comforting between my fingers as I pressed the power button, waiting for the screen to illuminate my face.

"Wow, the battery is still holding up well..."

And upon turning on, the first thing that popped up on the interface was the broadcast of the match that was unfolding in the background.

"... The battle continues."

On the screen, the fierce battle between Raina and the gothic princess seemed to be reaching its absolute climax, with health bars flashing red and particle effects saturating the panel's pixels at a frantic pace.

"Honestly, I'm curious... But..."

It was a visually stunning display of skill, but my attention was not on the combo counter.

"The time is..."

So, I shifted my gaze toward the upper corner of the interface, searching for the system's digital clock to synchronize my notion of time.

"Eh?!"

... Only to blink in disbelief at the revealed answer.

"It should already be late afternoon?!"

Something was wrong.