Problem

"I AM DEAD! COMPLETELY DEAD!"

Yeah... those were the exact first words that shot out of my mouth the second I opened my eyes this morning.

Why did I panic so suddenly, you ask?

Well... because I finally remembered the small, insignificant detail I had forgotten last night! And that was... I never took the time to come up with a damn convincing excuse!

If mom (possessed) walks through that door at this very second and sees this setup, what am I even supposed to tell her?

"Hey, mom. So, while you were out, I decided to hire a full-time maid, and now she's going to live here with us."

[INSTANT GAME OVER SCREEN]

Damn my rotten luck!!

Okay, calm down, Mireya. Take a deep breath... Inhale, exhale... That's it, everything is under control. Go back to your happy place.

Alright, I'm completely calm!

Now then... let's think with a cool head. How on earth do you convince a woman (who is actually a guy on the inside) and who is also the (biological) mother of this body, to let her mere 5-year-old child have a personal maid living under the very same roof?

Hmm... come on, brain. Think... THINK!

<"So you've finally come crawling back seeking my help, have you?">

So, after deep reflection and exhausting all my logical options, I decided to apply an ancient principle: leave women's complex dilemmas to other women so they can find a solution among themselves.

"Please, Echidna! You are literally my last hope of survival!"

And as it turns out, Echidna is biologically female!

<"Well... since you put it with such a level of sheer desperation and reverence, I suppose I can condescend to lend you a fraction of my infinite divine wisdom.">

In that moment, I could swear I could almost see a celestial halo of light emanating majestically from her spiritual figure.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!"

I always believed in you Echidna!!

<"The solution is ridiculously simple: you just have to give her pleasure.">

And just as quickly as that celestial vision appeared, it vanished entirely into the abyss.

"Excuse me, but... WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Did I hear wrong?!

<"Listen to me very carefully. This is a universal principle that applies to both men and women: when an individual is in a state of profound happiness and absolute relaxation, their guard drops drastically, and they become infinitely more permissive.">

Wow, but how interesting...

"And what does that entire psychological theory have to do with 'giving pleasure' to my mother?!"

I hope to receive a good justification!

<"If you suddenly expose her to an overwhelming sensory stimulus capable of completely melting her mind, her judgment will be neutralized, and she will accept practically any condition or request you present to her.">

... I cannot argue against the crushing logic behind her words, but I refuse to accept the method.

How am I supposed to cause such a surge of pleasure without risking ending up in a situation of... well, you know what I mean?

Think, Mireya, think. There has to be a clean, safe, and legal alternative within the boundaries of this house.