Chapter 122: Heart to Heart

Rick had gathered the people closest to Harry. The Weasleys of course as they were his surrogate family, but a few more, like Alt-Fleur, Alt-Dora, Alt-Remus, then he gathered the people from his own world. From natural occlumens Vega to Albus himself (who already knew the spell but wanted to witness the class). All were gathered to learn the Philo spell and help Harry in defeating Voldemort. The first step had been to focus on the one person they loved the most with a memory of nothing else but love. For the most accomplished witches and wizards, it had been easy to pass the first stage, the red cloud.

With a bit of practice and the experience of the patronus, Philos began to appear. Unlike the patronus who had an animal representing each person’s personality, the philo represented a person’s approach to love and as a result many people had the same philo. Bella, who had surprisingly mastered the spell the quickest, had a wolf like Rick.

Wolves were fiercely loyal, pack oriented and protective. It fitted her to a T. That made Lily realize why she loved Bella nearly as much as Rick. Their approach to love was the same for the both of them.

In return they both loved her so much because of her own approach. Deep emotional and familial bond, which explained why Lily’s philo was an elephant.

Rick and Bella were not the only ones with a wolf philo. In fact it was the most represented. Most with Black blood had one, or a dog. Rose, Nymie, Ginny and Vega had a wolf and Ron, Veronica and Sirius had a dog.

It was Lea who filled everyone in about what the philos represented. Dogs represented strong affection, loyalty and concern for kinship or very close friends.

No one was surprised by Albus’ philo. A dove, symbol of peace and love. Rick joked that he had missed out on the muggle sixties where people were all about love, sharing, non-violence, sex and drugs. Albus agreed he would have loved to experience that time period.

The second most common philo was the Dolphin. Not mates for life but they were real social networkers, compassionate and empathetic. The Potter and Weasley twins, Lea and Draco were the lucky ones who had such a philo.

Then came the less numbered.

Molly, much like Lily, had an elephant. No one was surprised by that. They were the mothers of the family, not only in fact but in spirit, and cared deeply for everyone.

Alt-Hermione, Alt-Fleur, Alt-Bill and Susan had a beaver. An animal mating for life, sharing household duties, which included raising children. Alt-Fleur was over the moon to have the same philo as her fiancé. It meant for her that she and Alt-Bill were truly on the same wavelength. Rose had expected no less from Susan who would follow her to the end of the earth and do everything with her.

Then came the swans. A partner for life, very romantic. Most of the people who had it were Blacks. Alt-Dora who was looking at Alt-Remus intently especially since he too had a swan, Atria and Narcissa.

Only three people had lovebirds. Lyra to which Lily wasn’t surprised at all after she had seen her rolling into Rick’s dirty clothes while sniffing them. James, who wasn’t surprised either as he was always thinking of his wife Lara when she wasn’t there and Arthur, to Molly’s astonishment.

“You think of me even at work?” She felt very emotional by the revelation.

The Weasley patriarch graced her with a ten thousand watt smile. “Of course Mollywobbles. I love my job but the moment I step outside our home a part of my mind is always thinking of coming home to you.”

Hermione and Fleur got a horse. An animal who may not mate for life but who was all about community, protectiveness and loyalty.

And finally, just like Albus’ philo, Harry got a unique one too.

“A… Penguin?” He was completely bewildered and everyone had a good laugh. “Why a penguin? Lea what does a penguin represent?”

“Penguins are all about love, devotion, community and sacrifice. I think it suits you, Harry.”

Her answer made him smile. He didn’t know why but it made him feel closer to his mom.

“Alright.” Rick interrupted everyone. “Now you just learn to make a philo with the person you loved the most in mind. Now you need to practice it with Harry in mind and it’s probably another type of love. Do not-”

Alt-Remus half-screamed half-moan as he fell to the ground. Alt-Dora’s philo was nowhere in sight.

“Do that.” Rick finished his sentence. “That’s incredibly rude and mean to push all your love on someone else like that. They may not appreciate it for one and two depending on the type of love you focused on this is the result.”

Alt-Dora was unapologetic however. She went to Alt-Remus and crouched down, leaning above him.

“Do you understand now? The other you, he has this great life, a beautiful awesome wife, a handsome son… I want that. With you. You can have it too, we can have it too but I can’t do it alone. I can’t support you and realize it if you’re not fighting for it too, Remus.”

Alt-Remus looked at her in silence, then slowly grabbed her head and pulled her down for a kiss. Cheers and whistles echoed through the whole room.

“Let’s do it, Tonks.” he smiled stupidly at her.

She smiled back. “Dora. For you, it’s Dora.”

“Now if you excuse me. I think I need to change.”

“Why?” She asked and Alt-Remus looked down at his crotch who was bulging. “Did I…?”

“You put a tad too much love.” he replied sheepishly and she began to howl in laughter.

Now that everyone could use the spell and that they needed only practice, Rick put an end to the lesson. Everyone took a break from the activity to do something else. Bella took the ones wanting to train their fighting abilities to the training room. Sirius, James, Bill, the Remus, Fleurs and Nyhmphadoras went with her.

Hermione and Alt-Hermione went to study in the Black Library. The former had insisted very much to the latter to not touch a single book there. Alt-Hermione had protested of course but when she was told that they were all supposed to curse any person without enough Black blood in them, she began to reconsider the option.

Hermione finalized her Alter’s change of heart with a few words. “If you’re lucky, you die within ten seconds in very excruciating pain.”

“I’m good.” Alt-Hermione quickly changed her mind.

“Let’s start today's lesson with that. Family magic. Why it exists, why it’s important to protect it and incredibly rude and dangerous to peruse the library of someone else.”

Rose had dragged Harry away and they were testing the combinations of Runes he had come up with. He really was surprised to be good at something theoretical and not practical and not needing a wand. She noticed however that his mind was elsewhere.

“What is it?” she inquired.

“Hm?”

“You’re not focused. Something is driving your attention away.”

“I’m no-... It’s…” He didn’t know quite what to say. He had tried to deny it but found himself unhappy at the idea. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say what was bothering him.

“Is it… about me having my parents and…” she asked in worry.

“What?!” His mind suddenly was cleared. “No! Merlin, no! I mean. I’m envious, yes but not jealous. I’m just… wondering how you’re so… you?” He had trouble finding the correct words to express what he was feeling.

Rose tilted her head to the side. “How I’m so me?”

“Yeah, you know… So… cool? As if nothing could bother you. You’re just… so relaxed and chilled. And I mean… You too were… your world chosen one and you don’t seem affected by the people’s hopes and expectations. You like… not thrive in it but… Like a boat making its way in a multiple storm, without sinking. I... that doesn’t make much sense.”

Rose chuckled. “It does, actually.” Carefully she chose her next words. “Let’s start with the prophecy thing. I was and wasn’t the chosen one. My parents made sure only a handful of people knew. They told me the night I was chosen as a Triwizard champion for my own protection. I didn’t grow up under the spotlight or with fame. It was my mom who killed Voldemort the first time. She got the attention. Dad? Was the first person to actually hurt him and was an international quidditch star. Me? I went to a public muggle school.”

Harry’s eyes widened in shock when she heard that. “But… Why?”

“They wanted me to grow up normally, far from the shadow of their fame. They also wanted me to learn of my muggle heritage and to learn common sense. I’m sure you noticed the lack of it in the wizarding world?”

“Very much. It’s mind boggling sometimes.”

“When I started Hogwarts… no before that. On the train platform… I was terrified. I knew that I was the heiress of House Potter but also of House Gryffindor. My parents are geniuses of great renown and I? I’m just me! Poor eleven years old Rose, who likes reading, magic and flying and with a small army of little siblings. I felt… so out of my depth, panicked, scared. What if I wasn’t as brilliant as my parents?

They held the highest score ever recorded at Hogwarts from first year to seventh year. They beat Albus Dumbledore’s score in OWLS and NEWTs. What If I couldn’t meet the expectation the teachers had of me for being their daughter? What if I was bad at one subject or bad at quidditch or not even sorted in Gryffindor? What If they were disappointed in me or worse: What if I shamed them?”

She marked a pause there and she noticed that Harry knew what she was talking about.

“You know what my Dad said? He said that not all Gryffindor were sorted in Gryffindor and that didn’t make them any less a member of the family. To be who I wanted to be, not what people expected or what I expected myself to be. That I would see that I’ll be happier for it. That they had absolutely no expectation of me but just hopes. They hoped that I’ll be happy and healthy. I took their words as gospel.

At first many students tried to get close to me for my parents. They didn’t care about me, just what I could do for them. It was irritating, I’m not going to lie about it but I didn’t stop for them. They wanted something from me? They would have to keep up with me, because I was moving forwards doing my things. I didn’t outright reject them, I just didn’t pay attention to them.

Some quickly gave up, some persisted and understood that the only thing they would get is a loose acquaintanceship at best, which for them was alright. Some liked who I was and became my friends. As a result, I unknowingly became popular, having friends from all years, close and distant but they all understood that I wasn’t there to answer whatever expectations they had of me. And most accepted it. Instead of expecting and demanding, they hoped and asked. Like… I started a group to help other students in difficulty in my year.

Bit by bit some students came to me asking if they could join or if they could ask for advice. They knew that they weren’t entitled to anything from me. To make sure to drive the point home my help wasn’t free. Five knut an hour. It wasn’t much but it showed them I wasn’t a doormat or a wallflower.”

She marked another pause.

“From what I gather you were yeeted into the Wizarding world without knowing anything and ended up taking the full brunt of your fame right from the beginning and as a result you… well not hid away but… kept to yourself?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“By doing so, you didn’t break the expectations the others had on you, which increased the gap between them and you and pressured you even more because their expectations kept growing. My advice? Insert yourself more into the crowd so to speak, get to know people, even if just superficially, let them get to know you. You don’t have to go deep, really.

Bit by bit they’ll see you’re just human like them. That you laugh and cry, that you brood and get angry. The consequence of that will be that their expectations would become less and less. After all, if you’re just like them then you can fail or succeed just like them. You end up being seen as ordinary and with no value for their greed.”

She stopped there and took a deep breath.

“In other words, disabuse them of the notion that you’re different from them, they will lose interest for the most part and it will be way easier for you to handle life and the pressure that comes with it.”

Harry stayed imobile for a moment, then nodded in understanding.

“You’re pretty cool, yourself, Harry. Don’t sell yourself short.”

He blushed at the genuine compliment and smile she gave him. “Thanks.”

“Also, don’t become a hobo not caring for anything. Soon you’ll be Lord Potter and you can do a lot of good with that title, so don’t spit in the face of people who you can’t stand because they could help you in whatever you set your mind on. It never hurts to be friendly.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And stand on your two feets dammit!” She mock glared. “You fought the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets! At twelve! You’re a total badass! Don’t let people walk over you! Like the press! You need to learn how to play those assholes! But don’t go gung-ho like you did with Umbridge. Merlin, that was really stupid what you did!”

“She was-” Now Harry was a bit angry.

“I know what she was and what she was doing! I had her as my DADA professor too! But what did you get for defying her? A scar on your hand and that’s it. You didn’t change the minds of people, you didn’t learn anything useful. You just lost time in detention when you could have used it for something else. That wasn't smart. Learn how to go about your battle, Harry and you’d already half won. Now don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying to do nothing, I’m saying, do something else that could help you reach your goals. When a door closes, another opens if you bother looking for it. ‘Gryffindor Forward’ doesn’t mean rushing in like an idiot. It means going forward perpetually even through alternate paths if the need arises. Okay?”

He looked at her in silence. It pained him to admit that she was right regarding Umbridge. McGonagall had told him to keep his head down and he didn’t and he gained nothing positive out of it. He did it just because he couldn’t keep his temper in check as he couldn’t stand the lies and the fact people were put in danger. Now that he thought about it, he could have used the Room of Requirement and asked for a pensive to convince people by showing them the memories of that night in the graveyard. He wouldn’t have played right into Voldemort’s hands by going to the DoM and losing Sirius in the process had he not rushed in like an idiot. All because he had rushed in like an idiot. Shaking his head, he knew that needed to change.

“Also, if you think you can take one more piece of advice you probably won’t like?”

He chuckled. “At this point what’s one more?”

“Once Voldemort and his followers had been dealt with… You should talk about your life. From your childhood at the Dursley to now. It won’t be easy but in the end you will feel better and free of all that happened to you.”

“How do you know that?” He didn’t like the advice, like she had expected, but he was listening until the end.

“The Severus Snape of our world? He did it. He went to see a mind healer and a therapist. I don’t know much about his life but I know there had been a lot of abuse in his childhood, then at Hogwarts. Now? He can smile, he can laugh and joke and be happy.  He said that… It had been the hardest thing he ever did. Confronting his demons and traumas but that it has been worth it and that he didn’t regret it. He described it as… reliving the worst moments of his life and struggling to realize that he wasn’t a victim anymore.

He was a survivor.

He survived them once, he could certainly do more than survive the memory. He wasn’t defenseless and could fight back. And fight he did and from there he began healing.” she marked a pause and took his hands in hers. “It’s not good to bottle up everything, the more you do the heavier you feel. Even just saying the words is lightening the burden. That could be anyone. A close friend, a professional, a stranger or just an ant you noticed on the side of the road. It’s like crying. You don’t necessarily feel better afterwards but the weight is more manageable.”

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Harry said nothing once again and just contemplated what she had just said. Not for long because she flicked his forehead.

“Those runes won’t draw themselves. Go on, drama penguin.”

The corners of his mouth twitched a bit, threatening the appearance of a smile. “You did not say that!”

“Runes, now!”

Now Harry was smiling as he picked up his pen and went back to studying.