Welcome Back

From the moment Urag summoned her at the Fortress’ entrance hall, Anke was skeptical. Between the von Skoll Kilian and her deceased love, she could spot many similarities, so much in fact that she wondered if a miracle of reincarnation had not occurred before her. However, several things didn’t add up.

In the previous Kilian, 99% of smiles were deceptive, and 99% of people didn’t matter. To survive his brutal upbringing in Kars, Kilian slaughtered many would-be assassins and many more “aristocratic threats” to Kars’ progress, ensuring that by the time he reached adulthood, he’d turned into a remarkable trickster and efficient killing machine.

That Kilian didn’t have enough space in his heart for over five people. In fact, Klaus’ destruction seemed to occupy 90% of that space. And the Duke often joked that the world would be hard-pressed to find a more filial son than Kilian. Because if he died early, Kilian wouldn’t survive him. If not for those rare moments of genuine tenderness, Anke would have been of the same thought.

But the current Kilian was entirely different. There were people around whom he could relax, a man he could shake hands with, and women he held on to. And while he kept some of his bad habits such as coercion and manipulation, they seemed to have turned into selective tools for swift problem solving, instead of a way of life. A plethora of questions went back and forth in Anke’s mind and, confused, she stepped toward Kilian with an unsteady, wobbling gait.

“I’m afraid that nowadays, no one else dares use that name,” Kilian jested. Anke’s eyes glazed over, and as if the words bypassed her ears, she raised her trembling hands toward Kilian’s face—tapping his forehead and cheeks like a blind woman trying to match faces. The dazed, confused look turned into a bright smiling face, Anke’s hands dropped on Kilian’s neck, and the smile twisted into a hysteric grimace.

But even as Anke’s grip tightened around Kilian’s neck, he didn’t struggle or attempt to evade. The strength gap between them was such that even if he stood still, she couldn’t claim his life. Worse, Kilian smiled at the move, and the harder Anke pressed, the more pronounced his smile became.

“While Klaus’ Compendium of Killing Arts states that you should always aim for crippling or vital parts, I believe choking your target barehanded was never part of the recommended methods. If you really want to do this, I can give you a few tips. Aim for my heart. Gouge it out and crush it—if you can. Nothing else works.” Aiming one finger at his chest, Kilian leisurely said, as if Anke’s grip had absolutely no effect on him.

The words forced Anke out of her trance, and relaxing her hold, she dropped on her knees—shedding silent tears.

“I’m not very good at this. And my time is running thin, so I won’t beat around the bush. I wish I could tell you that I’m sorry, and given a second chance, would have done things differently. However, there is nothing more absolute than the past. Back then, Klaus represented an insurmountable gap between you and me. As long as it was linked to him, the best I could do was…to not loathe it. Moreover, he does nothing without ulterior motives. Neither my brain nor my heart could possibly accept you,” Kilian said, and crouched before Anke.

“I’ve seen through your memories with my Eye of Revelation and didn’t expect that Klaus would treat even you in such a wretched way. But even if I knew of your Fehl Mutation early on, what could I do? I never gave you hope, but you wouldn’t give up. Either you clung onto the tiniest show of care, or you found someone to blame my indifference on. You could forgive anything I did and shove all your frustration on some unfortunate soul. That is not love, but a relentless obsession driven by pure madness. If not because I enjoyed your company in my own twisted way, I’d have killed you a long time ago,” Kilian straightforwardly said.

Those thoughts had been trotting in his mind for years and were the reason why he once told Lena and Jezebel that he might one day have to kill Anke. While he now had a serum to suppress the Fehl Madness, Anke’s psychological issues started elsewhere. No one could guarantee that her human madness wouldn’t outlive the Fehl Taint. So, unless he fully rewired her, Kilian couldn’t say for sure what the future held in store.

More importantly, Anke was strong. Not as strong as him, the Blood King or Bjorn. Not as strong as Ayden, Hanns or the rest, but strong enough that on one impulse, she could trigger many disasters. Worse, on raw thaumaturgic talents, she outpaced 99% of all those Kilian knew. Given time, Anke was destined to become a mighty Exarch...and perhaps go beyond.

But instead of the expected rage and outburst, curving her lips into a disarming smile, Anke raised her moist eyes to face Kilian and said, “Welcome back.”

Taken aback, Kilian blinked at Anke with an incredulous look, and as if she read through his thoughts, she went on:

“I know that back then, there was that tiny part in your heart that enjoyed having someone utterly devoted to you—no matter how insane she might be. You didn’t want to lose that bond and didn’t care for those I threatened, so...you just let me run amok.

But now things are different. You don’t need me anymore and have people you must protect from the likes of me so...before you shake me off...I just want to say...Welcome back, Kilian. And thank you—for being alive.”

The words came with a smile so pure and sincere that for the first time in a long while, Kilian didn’t know how to react—and so just stood still.

…

Leaving Anke and the half-broken Tamara behind, Kilian walked back to his room, but at the gate, stopped and recalled Anke’s words. In that instant, Kilian couldn’t help but think that the gap between Klaus and him wasn’t as large as he previously thought. Just like Klaus often used him to fill a strange void, he used Anke—never realizing the abuse he put her through.

But now that he realized his own misdeeds, what should he do? Sighing at his inner struggle, Kilian pushed the door handle and returned to his partners’ side.