Chapter 109: Fear

Entering the Gargoyle Ruins, I start hearing the familiar siren song of mind essence through my [Mana Senses] and see the mana building up around my head. I see faint traces flowing from a monster on the tenth and final floor. My retaliation scapegoat is absorbing the mana and my mind resistance hood is helping resist control, but despite that, judging from the intensity of the mana, I don't have long to identify the culprit.

Despite the tenth floor being the largest, there is only a single living creature in it. A tall thin, bipedal thing with a hundred tentacles made of mind essence flailing about as it patrols the ruin halls, grasping around as if it is searching for something. Its arms are easily long enough to drag on the floor, even considering its long legs. It has no eyes or ears, its only facial feature a large mouth capable of fully engulfing a head, filled with writhing mind essence tentacles.

The creature looks in my direction, seeming to sense me through my perception: in the brief moment that it studies me, I [Analyze] it.

Elder Mind Eater (Exalted), Mind Dominator (Heroic), Ectoplasmic Vampire (Grand), Soul Flayer (Grand), Level 1234 Mind Bond

RUN! My instincts scream at me to get as far away and as fast as possible.

Near-instantly, my retaliation scapegoat explodes, shrapnel tearing at me. I scream in shock and pain as I summon the waystone key, left in my care for situations like this one, out of my storage ring. I recall all of my minds to defend myself and shrink my perception, but I feel the full force of dozens of minds pressuring me, trying to tear my metaphysical minds apart. I send my Diadem minds to the front line; they can just return through my magic item if they get destroyed. Quickly two of the minds are torn apart by twenty Mind Eater minds and more come for the third. I summon more from my Diadem and break off decoys with my [Mental Fortitude] breakthrough, doing everything I can to delay the onslaught of minds.

Ectoplasmic tentacles fly toward me at blinding speeds, even across the full distance to the tenth floor, digging into my soul barrier, then quickly worming their way in and grabbing one of my mind components. The other tentacles start sucking ectoplasm out of my soul, and more flail around in search of my last mind component. I teleport to the dungeon entrance just before my primary mind component is taken, and dash out of the dungeon more frightened than I have ever been before.

I stumble to the ground after passing through the entrance, clutching my bleeding side. I groan as I heal myself, ignoring the embedded shrapnel of my scapegoat for now, my hand trembling violently with both fear and the fading adrenaline rush. There is absolutely no way I am returning to the Gargoyle Ruins... well, there is something I caught a glimpse of in my perception on that tenth floor. I didn't pay it any attention because of the Mind Eater in the room, but with my enhanced memory, I can now examine the floor safely. Venaro's Likeness is down there. If I want to retrieve it, I must first slay the Mind Eater... A Mind Eater with who knows how many minds, and it even took another from me.

My [Sense Soul] can't reach that far, unlike [Sense Magic], so I can't count how many minds the Mind Eater has, but it is definitely the reason why there are no other beings on that floor, meaning it could have hundreds of minds. There is only one way I can fight it, and that is to get [Unlimited Minds]. Well, I suppose if that were the only way they'd have taken over the world, but it’s certainly the most obvious answer. Likely I could also just get by with very powerful resistance skills and magic items, but it gives me a good reason to get the most powerful mind skill possible.

I hope the others are safe. I couldn't even tell them what was going on.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Esofy dances around the Gargoyle, cutting the legs and dodging the claws swiping at her midriff.

"Haa!" Uloru yells and swings her hammer, smashing into the monster and tossing it into the wall. The sound of breaking stone comes from both the wall and the monster. Kadona jumps with her halberd drawn back and swings it down for the finishing blow. The sound of crumbling stone signifies another Gargoyle being destroyed by the others.

"You two are really effective against these types of monsters," Esofy compliments the oversized-weapon-wielding duo.

Uloru grins widely. "Of course! The bigger the weapon, the better!"

"It's how you use it that matters," Kadona replies. "Skills like [Massless Weapon] and [Shift Mass] really help to raise the damage you can do."

Esofy’s preference is for technique over pure power in her strikes, but she has to admit their way is more effective against these monsters. Fighting monsters is an entirely different affair to fighting other people, and what is best for one is often mediocre for the other. Esofy still has the void war scythe in her storage ring, and it would be more effective than her swords against the Gargoyles, but she isn't too familiar with other types of weapons. Yes, she has [Battle Arts], a variant of [Weapon Arts] which is the culmination of skills like [Sword Arts] and [Spear Arts], but swords are her specialty.

"Alysara? Alysara!?" Esofy turns towards Chyzu’s worried voice, to see her waving her hand in front of the illusory clone, trying to get the girl’s attention. After a moment, Chyzu sees everyone else looking at her and explains: "She just stopped moving in the middle of battle."

That is odd. They've barely stepped foot in the ruins, and this happens. They've explored the first few floors before, so why is this happening now? There can only be one reason for this: Something happened to the real Alysara. She should have said something by now, and, being on the first floor of the Rodent Den, nothing should be powerful enough to pose a threat to her. On top of that she also had cast an invisibility spell on herself so she wouldn't be detected by the monsters. Not to mention, she would have seen any threats coming kilometers away.

There can only be one explanation. Another Mind Slime event. Alysara is a smart girl and would have teleported out of the dungeon before she can be controlled; having felt the influence herself, Esofy knows that it takes time for control to set in, but... What if there's a more powerful monster? What if Alysara didn't have time to escape?

"We should check on her," Tana says, worry clear in her voice, a voice that has grown slightly deeper-pitched in recent times.

"Yes,” Esofy agrees, “but let's be careful, in case there's a Mind Slime repeat." Esofy waits for everyone to nod, then leads the group back to where Alysara should be.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My wounds fully heal, and I dissolve the pieces of the retaliation scapegoat buried in me, thanking my luck that I made it entirely out of mana. I repair my clothes with [Mana Manipulation], regenerate my stolen mind component with [Twin Mind's] breakthrough, and stand up, looking at the entrance to the dungeon.

The oddest thing about it is that it isn't magical; it's just a doorway into something or someplace else. It has nothing to do with mana other than mana falling into it. It is definitely a spatial phenomenon, and if I had something like [Space Sense], I might be able to learn something, but right now I have other things to focus on, namely curing cursed skills, improving my Class and Bond, and slaying the Treant.

I try to step forward, but my leg barely moves. I try to will my body back into the dungeon, but I can't even get close. It should be safe now – the entrance cuts off all connections – and I need to check on the others; if anything, I need to give them the waystone key so they can leave safely. I'm their scout, and without me they'll be in a lot of danger while they cross the dungeon forest, so I need to go back!

But… even thinking of going back makes my legs tremble and my heart beat faster. Despite my efforts to regain control of my body, a deep primal fear takes hold of me. I know I should be safe so long as I don't observe the tenth floor of the Gargoyle Ruins with a clairvoyance skill, but my instincts don't run on logic.

Honestly, I'd probably be flying back home in terror if not for [Clear Mind] dampening such intense emotions, but this issue seems to be something else.

Well, if fear is the issue, then let's remove that altogether! I focus on [Acting], assuming the role of a fearless and reckless warrior ready to face any challenge. I feel the fear fade from me, and courage fills my heart. I take a slight step forward and stop; it feels like trying to move through tar, every movement closer to the dungeon making me want nothing more than to turn and run, to never look back.

[Acting] and [Clear Mind], struggle against my fear of the Mind Eater. The sensation of having my soul torn into, having my metaphysical minds torn apart while the mind component and ectoplasm are stolen, replays over and over again.

Each time my skills suppress my fear, I take another step forward. I wait, take a step, and wait. If I let terror win, I'll never be able to go back. Who knows, I might be too afraid of going out into the wider world, of being captured by slavers. I'll always ask myself, 'what if...' 'What if I am captured by slavers' 'What if there are other, more terrible monsters out there' 'What if I find genocidal xenophobic people?' I need to conquer my fears, lest I let them control me.

Step after step, I get closer and closer until I am only one step away from walking into the dungeon. 'What if it can still see me?' 'What if it's waiting for me to come back?' 'What if I can't escape next time?' I stand there, unable to take the final step. Even my [Acting] can't stop these thoughts from plaguing my mind.

I have to move! I need to check on the others! Tana, Esofy, Chyzu, I need to see if they are safe or need my help!

'But what if they are already dead?' 'What if they think you abandoned them?' 'What if they are safe and don't need your help?' 'They are strong and capable; surely they are fine, they can manage on their own, why take the risk?'

I find my body taking a step back.

'Everything will turn out alright.'

I take a second step back.

'I can always come back tomorrow and try again.'

I take a third step back.

'I just went through a terrible ordeal; I should take a rest. This doesn't mean I'm abandoning anyone; I'll try again tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll go back into the dungeon.'

I take a fourth step back.

I shake my head, realizing I have fallen out of my [Acting] role. I can't use these excuses; if I do, I'll always find an excuse. I raise both my arms, and, with all of my strength, I slap the sides of my face, the stinging pain reduced by [Pain Tolerance] to something distant, like a faded memory, but the act seems to have cleared my mind of those thoughts. I renew my [Acting] role and steel my determination, stomping closer and closer to the dungeon entrance. Like an unstoppable train, I pick up speed and barrel through the entrance, tumbling over the waystone on the other side.

Ting! Mental Fortitude has met the requirements for a breakthrough and will continue leveling past level 110!

11th Breakthrough: You've resisted overwhelming fear; this will help you conquer that which terrifies you.

Ting! Mental Fortitude has obtained levels 68-79!

Ting! Clear Mind has met the requirements for a breakthrough and will continue leveling past level 110!

11th Breakthrough: You've cleared your mind of betraying thoughts; this will help you stay collected.

Ting! Clear Mind has obtained levels 78-90!